The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)
Page 394
throat; that is not the matter I challenge thee for.'
throat; that is not the issue I am challenging you about.'
FABIAN
Very brief, and to exceeding good sense--less.
Very short, and very sensible.
SIR TOBY BELCH
[Reads] 'I will waylay thee going home; where if it
'I will interrupt you going him; where if it
be thy chance to kill me,'--
is your fate to kill me,'--
FABIAN
Good.
Good.
SIR TOBY BELCH
[Reads] 'Thou killest me like a rogue and a villain.'
'You kill me like a rogue and a villain.'
FABIAN
Still you keep o' the windy side of the law: good.
Still you keep on the safe side of the law: good.
SIR TOBY BELCH
[Reads] 'Fare thee well; and God have mercy upon
one of our souls! He may have mercy upon mine; but
my hope is better, and so look to thyself. Thy
my hope is better, and so look to yourself. You
friend, as thou usest him, and thy sworn enemy,
friend, as you used him, and your sworn enemy,
ANDREW AGUECHEEK. If this letter move him not, his legs cannot:
If this letter does not move him, his legs cannot:
I'll give't him.
I'll give it to him.
MARIA
You may have very fit occasion for't: he is now in
You may have a good opportunity for it: he is now in
some commerce with my lady, and will by and by depart.
some business with my lady, and will shortly leave.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Go, Sir Andrew: scout me for him at the corner the
orchard like a bum-baily: so soon as ever thou seest
him, draw; and, as thou drawest swear horrible; for
it comes to pass oft that a terrible oath, with a
swaggering accent sharply twanged off, gives manhood
more approbation than ever proof itself would have
earned him. Away!
Go, Sir Andrew, and as soon as you see him, draw your sword,
swearing terrible things.
Go fight!
SIR ANDREW
Nay, let me alone for swearing.
No, let me alone for swearing.
Exit
SIR TOBY BELCH
Now will not I deliver his letter: for the behavior
Now I will not deliver the letter: for the behavior
of the young gentleman gives him out to be of good
capacity and breeding; his employment between his
skill and nobility; his employment between his
lord and my niece confirms no less: therefore this
lord and my niece confirms it: therefore this
letter, being so excellently ignorant, will breed no
letter, being so incredibly stupid, will cause no
terror in the youth: he will find it comes from a
terror in the young man: he will find it comes from a
clodpole. But, sir, I will deliver his challenge by
clod. But sir, I will deliver his challenge by
word of mouth; set upon Aguecheek a notable report
word of mouth; describe the knight Aguecheek with a notable report
of valour; and drive the gentleman, as I know his
of courage; and drive the gentleman, as I know his
youth will aptly receive it, into a most hideous
youth with appropriately take it, into a most terrifying
opinion of his rage, skill, fury and impetuosity.
opinion of his rage, skill, anger, and impatience.
This will so fright them both that they will kill
This will so frighten them both that they will kill
one another by the look, like cockatrices. [Cockatrices were half-rooster, half-snake mythological beings whose sight could turn things into stone.]
Re-enter OLIVIA, with VIOLA
FABIAN
Here he comes with your niece: give them way till
Here he comes with you niece: give them room until
he take leave, and presently after him.
he leaves, and then in a moment go after him.
SIR TOBY BELCH
I will meditate the while upon some horrid message
I will ponder for a while some horrible message
for a challenge.
for a challenge to a duel.
Exeunt SIR TOBY BELCH, FABIAN, and MARIA
OLIVIA
I have said too much unto a heart of stone
I have said too much to a heart of stone
And laid mine honour too unchary out:
And laid my honor not carefully enough out:
There's something in me that reproves my fault;
There's something in my that criticizes my fault;
But such a headstrong potent fault it is,
But it is such a strong fault,
That it but mocks reproof.
That it only mocks being corrected.
VIOLA
With the same 'havior that your passion bears
With that same behavior your passion is going on
Goes on my master's grief.
My master's grief is treating him.
OLIVIA
Here, wear this jewel for me, 'tis my picture;
Here, take this locket for me, it is my picture;
Refuse it not; it hath no tongue to vex you;
Don't refuse it; it has to voice to trouble you;
And I beseech you come again to-morrow.
And I beg that you come again tomorrow.
What shall you ask of me that I'll deny,
What will you ask of me that I'll refuse,
That honour saved may upon asking give?
That saving my honor may then give?
VIOLA
Nothing but this; your true love for my master.
Nothing but this; your true love for Duke Orsino.
OLIVIA
How with mine honour may I give him that
How with my honor may I give him something
Which I have given to you?
Which I have already given you?
VIOLA
I will acquit you.
I will give you permission.
OLIVIA
Well, come again to-morrow: fare thee well:
Well, come again tomorrow; fare you well:
A fiend like thee might bear my soul to hell.
A demon like you could take my soul to hell.
Exit
Re-enter SIR TOBY BELCH and FABIAN
SIR TOBY BELCH
Gentleman, God save thee.
Gentleman, God save you.
VIOLA
And you, sir.
And to you, sir.
SIR TOBY BELCH
That defence thou hast, betake thee to't: of what
nature the wrongs are thou hast done him, I know
not; but thy intercepter, full of despite, bloody as
the hunter, attends thee at the orchard-end:
dismount thy tuck, be yare in thy preparation, for
thy assailant is quick, skilful and deadly.
Watch out, because a terrifying fighter will assault you.
VIOLA
You mistake, sir; I am sure no man hath any quarrel
to me: my remembrance is very free and clear from
any image of offence done to any man.
You are making a mistake; I am sure no man has any issue with me.
SIR TOBY BELCH
You'll find it otherwise, I assure you: therefore,
if you hold your life at any price, betake you to
your guard; for your opposite hath in him what
youth, strength, skill and wrath can furnish man withal.
Oh no, you a
re wrong, and if you value your life you should
be on your guard, for you opponent has in him what
youth, strength, skill, and anger can give a man.
VIOLA
I pray you, sir, what is he?
Please, sir, what is he?
SIR TOBY BELCH
He is knight, dubbed with unhatched rapier and on
He is a knight, dubbed with a fine sword and by
carpet consideration; but he is a devil in private
royalty; but he is a devil in private
brawl: souls and bodies hath he divorced three; and
brawls; he has killed three men; and
his incensement at this moment is so implacable,
his anger at this time is so great,
that satisfaction can be none but by pangs of death
that he can have no satisfaction except through
and sepulchre. Hob, nob, is his word; give't or take't.
one of you dying.
VIOLA
I will return again into the house and desire some
I will go back into the house and ask some
conduct of the lady. I am no fighter. I have heard
advice from the lady. I am no fighter. I have heard
of some kind of men that put quarrels purposely on
of some men who deliberately pick fights with
others, to taste their valour: belike this is a man
others, to see their courage: probably this is a man
of that quirk.
of that type.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Sir, no; his indignation derives itself out of a
Sir, no; his anger takes itself out from a
very competent injury: therefore, get you on and
very real offense: therefore, go on and
give him his desire. Back you shall not to the
give him what he wants. You should not go back into
house, unless you undertake that with me which with
the house, unless you fight with me instead
as much safety you might answer him: therefore, on,
therefore, go on to meet him,
or strip your sword stark naked; for meddle you
or unsheath your sword; for fight you must,
must, that's certain, or forswear to wear iron about you.
or swear to wear a weapon at all times.
VIOLA
This is as uncivil as strange. I beseech you, do me
This is as barbaric as strange. I beg you, do me
this courteous office, as to know of the knight what
this polite favor, as to find out from the night what
my offence to him is: it is something of my
my offense to him is: it is something of my
negligence, nothing of my purpose.
mistake, nothing I have done on purpose.
SIR TOBY BELCH
I will do so. Signior Fabian, stay you by this
I will do that. Sir Fabian, stay by this
gentleman till my return.
gentleman until I return.
Exit
VIOLA
Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter?
Please, sir, do you know of this matter?
FABIAN
I know the knight is incensed against you, even to a
I know the knight is angry against you, even to a
mortal arbitrement; but nothing of the circumstance more.
duel to the death; but nothing more.
VIOLA
I beseech you, what manner of man is he?
Please, what kind of man is he?
FABIAN
Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read him by
his form, as you are like to find him in the proof
of his valour. He is, indeed, sir, the most skilful,
bloody and fatal opposite that you could possibly
have found in any part of Illyria. Will you walk
towards him? I will make your peace with him if I
can.
One of the best fighters and fearsome men in Illyria.
VIOLA
I shall be much bound to you for't: I am one that
I would be very distressed about it: I am one that
had rather go with sir priest than sir knight: I
would rather go with sir priest than sir knight: I
care not who knows so much of my mettle.
do not care who knows that about my courage.
Exeunt
Re-enter SIR TOBY BELCH, with SIR ANDREW
SIR TOBY BELCH
[To VIOLA] There's no remedy, sir; he will fight
There's no solution, sir; he will fight
with you for's oath sake: marry, he hath better
with you for the sake of this oath: by Mary, he has
bethought him of his quarrel, and he finds that now
thought better of the quarrel, and he finds that now
scarce to be worth talking of: therefore draw, for
it is not worth talking of: therefore draw, for
the supportance of his vow; he protests he will not hurt you.
the sake of his promise; he protests he will not hurt you.
VIOLA
[Aside] Pray God defend me! A little thing would
[Aside] May God defend me! A little thing would
make me tell them how much I lack of a man.
make me tell them how little of a man I am.
FABIAN
Give ground, if you see him furious.
Give him ground, if you see him angry.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Come, Sir Andrew, there's no remedy; the gentleman
Come, Sir Andrew, there's no solution; the gentleman
will, for his honour's sake, have one bout with you;
will, for his honor's sake, have one match with you;
he cannot by the duello avoid it: but he has
he cannot by the warrior code avoid it: but he has
promised me, as he is a gentleman and a soldier, he
promised me, as he is a nobleman and a soldier, he
will not hurt you. Come on; to't.
will not hurt you. Come on; start.
SIR ANDREW
Pray God, he keep his oath!
Pray God, he keeps his promise!
VIOLA
I do assure you, 'tis against my will.
They draw
Enter ANTONIO
ANTONIO
Put up your sword. If this young gentleman
Put away your sword. If this young nobleman
Have done offence, I take the fault on me:
Has done offense, I take it as my fault:
If you offend him, I for him defy you.
If you offend him, I defy you for him.
SIR TOBY BELCH
You, sir! why, what are you?
You, sir! Why, who are you?
ANTONIO
One, sir, that for his love dares yet do more
One, sir, that for his love dares to do still more
Than you have heard him brag to you he will.
Than you have heard him brag to you that he will.
SIR TOBY BELCH
Nay, if you be an undertaker, I am for you.
No, if you are taking this on, I will for you.
They draw
Enter Officers
FABIAN
O good Sir Toby, hold! here come the officers.
Oh, good Sir Toby, stop! Here come the police.
SIR TOBY BELCH
I'll be with you anon.
I'll be with you in a moment.
VIOLA
Pray, sir, put your sword up, if you please.
Please, sir, put your sword away, please.
First Officer
This is the man; do thy office.
This is the man; do you job.
Second Officer
Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit of Count Orsino.
Antonio, I arrest you for the sake of Count Orsino.
ANTONIO
You do mistake me, sir.
You are making a mistake, sir.
First Officer
No, sir, no jot; I know your favour well,
No sir, not one bit; I know you well.
Though now you have no sea-cap on your head
Though you do not have your former hat on your head
Take him away: he knows I know him well.
Take him away: he knows that I know him well.
ANTONIO
I must obey.
I must do what they say.
To VIOLA
This comes with seeking you:
This comes from looking for you:
But there's no remedy; I shall answer it.
But there's no solution; I must answer it.
What will you do, now my necessity
What will you do, now that my troubles
Makes me to ask you for my purse? It grieves me
Makes me ask you for my wallet? It causes me pain
Much more for what I cannot do for you
Much more for what I cannot do for you
Than what befalls myself. You stand amazed;
Than what happens to me myself. You stand amazed;
But be of comfort.
But be comforted.
Second Officer
Come, sir, away.
Come on, sir, let's go.
ANTONIO
I must beg you some of that money.
I must beg from you some of that money.
VIOLA
What money, sir?
What money, sir?
For the fair kindness you have show'd me here,
For the great kindness you have shown me here,
And, part, being prompted by your present trouble,
And, partly, as prompted by your current troubles,