The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

by William Shakespeare

  I know how you do that, sir; you always end before you begin.

  SILVIA

  A fine volley of words, gentlemen, and quickly shot off.

  A fine combat of words, gentlemen, and quickly fired.

  VALENTINE

  'Tis indeed, madam; we thank the giver.

  It was indeed, madam; we thank the one who gave us that battle.

  SILVIA

  Who is that, servant?

  Who would that be, my follower?

  VALENTINE

  Yourself, sweet lady; for you gave the fire. Sir

  You, sweet lady; for you gave us the reason to. SirThurio borrows his wit from your ladyship's looks,

  Thurio borrows his intelligence from your looks, my lady,and spends what he borrows kindly in your company.

  And spends his borrowed intelligence lovingly when you’re around.

  THURIO

  Sir, if you spend word for word with me, I shall

  Sir, if you trade words with me, I willmake your wit bankrupt.

  Empty out your intelligence.

  VALENTINE

  I know it well, sir; you have an exchequer of words,

  I know that, sir; you have a bank account filled with words,and, I think, no other treasure to give your

  And, I think, no other currency to give to yourfollowers, for it appears by their bare liveries,

  Servants, since by the look of their shabby uniforms,that they live by your bare words.

  They are paid with only your words.

  SILVIA

  No more, gentlemen, no more:--here comes my father.

  Stop it, gentlemen, stop it—here comes my father.

  Enter DUKE

  DUKE

  Now, daughter Silvia, you are hard beset.

  Now, my daughter Silvia, you are sincerely surrounded by men.Sir Valentine, your father's in good health:

  Sir Valentine, your father is in good health:What say you to a letter from your friends

  What would you say to a letter from you friendsOf much good news?

  With a lot of good news?

  VALENTINE

  My lord, I will be thankful.

  My lord, I would be thankfulTo any happy messenger from thence.

  Of any messenger with good news from them.

  DUKE

  Know ye Don Antonio, your countryman?

  Do you know, Don Antonio, a man from your same homeland?

  VALENTINE

  Ay, my good lord, I know the gentleman

  Yes, my good lord, I know that gentlemenTo be of worth and worthy estimation

  To be of wealth and high esteemAnd not without desert so well reputed.

  And he’s not so well respected without cause.

  DUKE

  Hath he not a son?

  Does he have a son?

  VALENTINE

  Ay, my good lord; a son that well deserves

  Yes, my good lord; a son that also deservesThe honour and regard of such a father.

  The honor and affection of a father like Don Antonio.

  DUKE

  You know him well?

  Do you know him well?

  VALENTINE

  I know him as myself; for from our infancy

  I know him as well as I know myself; because since we were babiesWe have conversed and spent our hours together:

  We have been friends and spent our days together:And though myself have been an idle truant,

  And though I have been an lazy shirker,Omitting the sweet benefit of time

  Forgetting about the sweet benefit that time providesTo clothe mine age with angel-like perfection,

  To supply my old age with angel-like perfection,Yet hath Sir Proteus, for that's his name,

  Sir Proteus, for that’s his name, has insteadMade use and fair advantage of his days;

  Made improvements and good use of his time;His years but young, but his experience old;

  He is still young, but he has the experience of someone older;His head unmellow'd, but his judgment ripe;

  His head shows no grey hairs, but his judgment is mature;And, in a word, for far behind his worth

  And, in short, for his worth is far beyondComes all the praises that I now bestow,

  All the praises I am giving him now,He is complete in feature and in mind

  He is accomplished in looks and in mindWith all good grace to grace a gentleman.

  With all the good grace that a gentleman should have.

  DUKE

  Beshrew me, sir, but if he make this good,

  Curse me, sir, but if he is this goodHe is as worthy for an empress' love

  He is worthy of the love of an empressAs meet to be an emperor's counsellor.

  And suitable to me an emperor’s advisor.Well, sir, this gentleman is come to me,

  Well, sir, this gentleman has come to meWith commendation from great potentates;

  With recommendations from very powerful rules;And here he means to spend his time awhile:

  And he means to spend some time here for a while:I think 'tis no unwelcome news to you.

  I think this is welcome news to you.

  VALENTINE

  Should I have wish'd a thing, it had been he.

  If I had wished for such a thing, it would be for him to come.

  DUKE

  Welcome him then according to his worth.

  Then welcome him according to his importance.Silvia, I speak to you, and you, Sir Thurio;

  Silvia, I am talking to you, and you, Sir Thurio, when I say that;For Valentine, I need not cite him to it:

  Because I don’t need to urge Valentine to do that:I will send him hither to you presently.

  I will send him to you here shortly.

  Exit

  VALENTINE

  This is the gentleman I told your ladyship

  This is the gentleman that I told your lady ship about whoHad come along with me, but that his mistress

  Would have come along with me, except that his mistressDid hold his eyes lock'd in her crystal looks.

  Kept him there chained to her beauty.

  SILVIA

  Belike that now she hath enfranchised them

  Perhaps now she has freed himUpon some other pawn for fealty.

  For some other oath of loyalty.

  VALENTINE

  Nay, sure, I think she holds them prisoners still.

  No, I’m sure, I think she hold him prisoner still.

  SILVIA

  Nay, then he should be blind; and, being blind

  No, then he should be blind; and, being blind,How could he see his way to seek out you?

  How could he see his way to find you?

  VALENTINE

  Why, lady, Love hath twenty pair of eyes.

  Why, lady, Love has twenty pairs of eyes.

  THURIO

  They say that Love hath not an eye at all.

  They say that Love is blind.

  VALENTINE

  To see such lovers, Thurio, as yourself:

  Love is when he sees such lovers as yourself, Thurio:Upon a homely object Love can wink.

  He can close his eyes to an ugly man.

  SILVIA

  Have done, have done; here comes the gentleman.

  Stop it, stop it; here comes the gentleman.

  Exit THURIO

  Enter PROTEUS

  VALENTINE

  Welcome, dear Proteus! Mistress, I beseech you,

  Welcome, dear Proteus! Mistress, I ask you, pleaseConfirm his welcome with some special favour.

  Back up his welcome wit some special honor.

  SILVIA

  His worth is warrant for his welcome hither,

  His worth is permission enough for his welcome here,If this be he you oft have wish'd to hear from.

  If this the man you have often wanted to hear from.

  VALENTINE

  Mistress, it is: sweet lady, entertain him

  Mistress, it is: sweet lady, employ himTo be my fellow-servant to your ladyship.


  To be a your follower like me, your lady.

  SILVIA

  Too low a mistress for so high a servant.

  I am to lowly a mistress for such a respected follower.

  PROTEUS

  Not so, sweet lady: but too mean a servant

  That’s not true, sweet lady: I am too unworthy a followerTo have a look of such a worthy mistress.

  To look upon such a lovely mistress.

  VALENTINE

  Leave off discourse of disability:

  Stop talking of your inadequacies:Sweet lady, entertain him for your servant.

  Sweet lady, take him on as your follower.

  PROTEUS

  My duty will I boast of; nothing else.

  I will brag about my duties as a follower; nothing else.

  SILVIA

  And duty never yet did want his meed:

  And duty has never lacked a rewardLServant, you are welcome to a worthless mistress.

  My follower, you are welcome to follow an unworthy mistress.

  PROTEUS

  I'll die on him that says so but yourself.

  I’ll die fighting whoever that, except for you, yourself.

  SILVIA

  That you are welcome?

  Anyone who says that you’re welcome?

  PROTEUS

  That you are worthless.

  Anyone who says that you are worthless.

  Re-enter THURIO

  THURIO

  Madam, my lord your father would speak with you.

  Madam, my lord, your father the duke, would like to speak with you.

  SILVIA

  I wait upon his pleasure. Come, Sir Thurio,

  I will grant his wish. Come on, Sir Thurio,Go with me. Once more, new servant, welcome:

  Come with me. Once more, new follower, welcome:I'll leave you to confer of home affairs;

  I’ll leave you two to discuss news from home;When you have done, we look to hear from you.

  When you are done, we’d like to hear from you.

  PROTEUS

  We'll both attend upon your ladyship.

  We’ll both follow you, your lady.

  Exeunt SILVIA and THURIO

  VALENTINE

  Now, tell me, how do all from whence you came?

  Now, tell me, how is everything back home?

  PROTEUS

  Your friends are well and have them much commended.

  Your friends are all doing well and have asked me to send you their greetings.

  VALENTINE

  And how do yours?

  And how are yours?

  PROTEUS

  I left them all in health.

  I left them all doing well.

  VALENTINE

  How does your lady? and how thrives your love?

  How is your lady? And how has your love blossomed?

  PROTEUS

  My tales of love were wont to weary you;

  My tales of love used to annoy you;I know you joy not in a love discourse.

  I know you don’t enjoy talking about love.

  VALENTINE

  Ay, Proteus, but that life is alter'd now:

  Yes, Proteus, but life is changed now:I have done penance for contemning Love,

  I have paid the price for despising Love,Whose high imperious thoughts have punish'd me

  Who has punished me with those commanding passions,With bitter fasts, with penitential groans,

  With terrible lack of appetite, with remorseful moaning,With nightly tears and daily heart-sore sighs;

  With tears every night, and heart-aching sighs every day;For in revenge of my contempt of love,

  For in revenge of my contempt of loveLove hath chased sleep from my enthralled eyes

  Love has kept my captivated eyes from sleepingAnd made them watchers of mine own heart's sorrow.

  And made them stay wide-awake to see my own heart ache.O gentle Proteus, Love's a mighty lord,

  Oh, gentle Proteus, Love is a mighty lord,And hath so humbled me, as, I confess,

  And he has brought me so low, that, I admit,There is no woe to his correction,

  There is no punishment worse than that of Love,Nor to his service no such joy on earth.

  Neither is there any other joy on earth that compares to following him.Now no discourse, except it be of love;

  Now, we’ll talk of nothing except love;Now can I break my fast, dine, sup and sleep,

  Now I can stop my hunger, and have dinner, supper and sleep,Upon the very naked name of love.

  Talking of the mere name of love.

  PROTEUS

  Enough; I read your fortune in your eye.

  Enough; I could tell what had happened to you from your eyes.Was this the idol that you worship so?

  Who is the woman that you love so much?

  VALENTINE

  Even she; and is she not a heavenly saint?

  The one just here; and isn’t she a heavenly angel?

  PROTEUS

  No; but she is an earthly paragon.

  No; she is only a mortal without equals.

  VALENTINE

  Call her divine.

  Call her divine.

  PROTEUS

  I will not flatter her.

  I won’t flatter her.

  VALENTINE

  O, flatter me; for love delights in praises.

  Oh, flatter me; since love enjoys compliments.

  PROTEUS

  When I was sick, you gave me bitter pills,

  When I was love-sick, you treated me with harsh comments,And I must minister the like to you.

  And I will give you the same.

  VALENTINE

  Then speak the truth by her; if not divine,

  Then tell the truth about her; if she isn’t a goddess,Yet let her be a principality,

  Still she is among the angels,Sovereign to all the creatures on the earth.

  Ruler of all the creatures on the earth.

  PROTEUS

  Except my mistress.

  Except my mistress.

  VALENTINE

  Sweet, except not any;

  Sweet man, there are no exceptions;Except thou wilt except against my love.

  Except the one you take against my love.

  PROTEUS

  Have I not reason to prefer mine own?

  Don’t I have a reason to prefer my own love?

  VALENTINE

  And I will help thee to prefer her too:

  And I will help you promote your love too:She shall be dignified with this high honour—

  She will be privileged with this great honor—To bear my lady's train, lest the base earth

  To carry my lady’s train, so that the lowly earthShould from her vesture chance to steal a kiss

  Doesn’t have the chance to touch her dressAnd, of so great a favour growing proud,

  And so that, growing proudly from such a great favor,Disdain to root the summer-swelling flower

  Flowers cannot take root in her clothingAnd make rough winter everlastingly.

  And rough winter will last forever.

  PROTEUS

  Why, Valentine, what braggardism is this?

  Why, Valentine, what I are you bragging about?

  VALENTINE

  Pardon me, Proteus: all I can is nothing

  Forgive me, Proteus: everything I can say means nothingTo her whose worth makes other worthies nothing;

  To the woman whose worth makes everything else worth nothing;She is alone.

  She is without equal.

  PROTEUS

  Then let her alone.

  Then leave her alone.

  VALENTINE

  Not for the world: why, man, she is mine own,

  I wouldn’t for the world.: why, man, she is mine,And I as rich in having such a jewel

  And I am as rich by having herAs twenty seas, if all their sand were pearl,

  As I would be if I had twenty seas with beaches were made of pearls,The water nectar and the rocks pure gold.

>   With water made of the drink of the gods, and with rocks of pure gold.Forgive me that I do not dream on thee,

  Forgive me for not paying you too much attention,Because thou see'st me dote upon my love.

  Because you are watching me worshiping my love.My foolish rival, that her father likes

  My foolish rival, who her father likesOnly for his possessions are so huge,

  Only because he is rich,Is gone with her along, and I must after,

  Has gone along with her, and I must follow after them,For love, thou know'st, is full of jealousy.

  For love, as you know, is full of jealousy.

  PROTEUS

  But she loves you?

  But does she love you?

  VALENTINE

  Ay, and we are betroth'd: nay, more, our marriage-hour,

  Yes, and we are promised to be married: no, it’s rather that, the hour of our marriage,With all the cunning manner of our flight,

  Along with the clever way we will escape,Determined of; how I must climb her window,

  Has been decided; how I will climb to her window onThe ladder made of cords, and all the means

  A ladder made of ropes, and all the necessary thingsPlotted and 'greed on for my happiness.

  For my happiness have been planned for and agreed on.Good Proteus, go with me to my chamber,

  Good Proteus, come with me to my room,In these affairs to aid me with thy counsel.

  And give me your advice on these happenings.

  PROTEUS

  Go on before; I shall inquire you forth:

  Go on ahead of me; I will seek you out:I must unto the road, to disembark

  I must go to the harbor, to send offSome necessaries that I needs must use,

  Some personal necessities that I need,And then I'll presently attend you.