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The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

Page 445

by William Shakespeare


  Most incident to maids; bold oxlips and

  The crown imperial; lilies of all kinds,

  The flower-de-luce being one! O, these I lack,

  To make you garlands of, and my sweet friend,

  To strew him o'er and o'er!

  Don't be so daft!

  You would get so thin that the winds of January

  would blow right through you. Now, my fair friends,

  I wish I had some spring flowers that would

  suit your age; and yours, and yours,

  who are still dressed in innocence: oh Prosperina,

  I wish I had the flowers that you, frightened, dropped

  from Pluto's chariot! Daffodils,

  that come ahead of the swallow, and delight

  the winds of March with their beauty; violets, dim,

  but sweeter than the lids of Juno's eyes

  or the breath of Venus; pale primroses,

  that die unmarried, before they can see

  the bright sun at his strongest (an illness

  maids often suffer from); tall oxlips

  and the Crown Imperial; lilies of all kinds,

  the fleur-de-lys being one of them. Oh, I don't have these

  to make you garlands, and to cover my sweet friend

  over and over!

  FLORIZEL

  What, like a corse?

  What, like a corpse?

  PERDITA

  No, like a bank for love to lie and play on;

  Not like a corse; or if, not to be buried,

  But quick and in mine arms. Come, take your flowers:

  Methinks I play as I have seen them do

  In Whitsun pastorals: sure this robe of mine

  Does change my disposition.

  No, like a bank for lovers to lie and play on;

  not like a corpse; or if you were, not buried,

  but alive and in my arms. Come, take your flowers:

  I think I'm acting as I've seen them do

  in the Whitsun plays: I think my dress

  must have changed my character.

  FLORIZEL

  What you do

  Still betters what is done. When you speak, sweet,

  I'ld have you do it ever: when you sing,

  I'ld have you buy and sell so, so give alms,

  Pray so; and, for the ordering your affairs,

  To sing them too: when you do dance, I wish you

  A wave o' the sea, that you might ever do

  Nothing but that; move still, still so,

  And own no other function: each your doing,

  So singular in each particular,

  Crowns what you are doing in the present deed,

  That all your acts are queens.

  Everything you do

  gets better and better. When you speak, sweet,

  I wish you would never stop: when you sing,

  I'd like you to do it when you're trading, giving charity,

  praying; when you are giving orders for your business

  I'd like you to sing them too: when you dance, I wish

  that you were a wave on the sea, that would never do

  anything but that; just keep moving, stay like that,

  have nothing else to do: everything you do,

  so wonderful in every way,

  adds to what you are doing at the moment,

  and makes everything you do heavenly.

  PERDITA

  O Doricles,

  Your praises are too large: but that your youth,

  And the true blood which peepeth fairly through't,

  Do plainly give you out an unstain'd shepherd,

  With wisdom I might fear, my Doricles,

  You woo'd me the false way.

  Oh Doricles,

  you give me too much praise: if it wasn't that your youth,

  and the honest blood which can be seen in you,

  clearly indicate that you are an innocent shepherd,

  if I thought about it I might worry, my Doricles,

  that you are wooing me with falsehoods.

  FLORIZEL

  I think you have

  As little skill to fear as I have purpose

  To put you to't. But come; our dance, I pray:

  Your hand, my Perdita: so turtles pair,

  That never mean to part.

  I think you have

  as little cause to fear as I have intention

  to do that. But come, let us dance please:

  give me your hand, my Perdita: together like turtledoves

  that will never part.

  PERDITA

  I'll swear for 'em.

  I swear they don't.

  POLIXENES

  This is the prettiest low-born lass that ever

  Ran on the green-sward: nothing she does or seems

  But smacks of something greater than herself,

  Too noble for this place.

  This is the prettiest peasant lass that ever

  ran in the fields: everything she does and appears to be

  makes her look as if she was nobler than her birth,

  too noble for this place.

  CAMILLO

  He tells her something

  That makes her blood look out: good sooth, she is

  The queen of curds and cream.

  He's telling her something

  that's making her blush: good heavens,

  she is the queen of the dairy.

  Clown

  Come on, strike up!

  Come on, let's have music!

  DORCAS

  Mopsa must be your mistress: marry, garlic,

  To mend her kissing with!

  Mopsa will dance with you: give her some garlic

  to make her kisses sweeter!

  MOPSA

  Now, in good time!

  Now, behave yourself!

  Clown

  Not a word, a word; we stand upon our manners.

  Come, strike up!

  Music. Here a dance of Shepherds and Shepherdesses

  No talking, no talking; we're wasting time.

  Come, play the music!

  POLIXENES

  Pray, good shepherd, what fair swain is this

  Which dances with your daughter?

  Tell me, good shepherd, what handsome lad is this

  who dances with your daughter?

  Shepherd

  They call him Doricles; and boasts himself

  To have a worthy feeding: but I have it

  Upon his own report and I believe it;

  He looks like sooth. He says he loves my daughter:

  I think so too; for never gazed the moon

  Upon the water as he'll stand and read

  As 'twere my daughter's eyes: and, to be plain.

  I think there is not half a kiss to choose

  Who loves another best.

  They call him Doricles; he says

  he owns a good estate: I have his

  word on it and I believe it;

  he looks honest. He says he loves my daughter:

  I believe that too; for the moon never looked

  down on the water in the same way as he will

  stand looking into my daughter's eyes: to be honest with you

  I don't think there's any difference

  in their devotion to each other.

  POLIXENES

  She dances featly.

  She dances beautifully.

  Shepherd

  So she does any thing; though I report it,

  That should be silent: if young Doricles

  Do light upon her, she shall bring him that

  Which he not dreams of.

  She does everything beautifully, although

  I say it myself: if young Doricles

  chooses her, she will bring him things

  he cannot dream of.

  Enter Servant

  Servant

  O master, if you did but hear the pedlar at the

  door, you would never dance
again after a tabour and

  pipe; no, the bagpipe could not move you: he sings

  several tunes faster than you'll tell money; he

  utters them as he had eaten ballads and all men's

  ears grew to his tunes.

  Oh master, if you only heard the pedlar at the

  door, you would never want to dance to the whistle and

  drum again; you wouldn't care for the bagpipes: he sings

  different tunes faster than you can count money; he

  sings them as if he had eaten the music sheets and

  everyone bends their ears to his tune.

  Clown

  He could never come better; he shall come in. I

  love a ballad but even too well, if it be doleful

  matter merrily set down, or a very pleasant thing

  indeed and sung lamentably.

  He couldn't have come at a better time; let him in.

  I'm exceedingly fond of ballads, if it has a sad

  subject with a merry tune, or a merry subject

  set to sad music.

  Servant

  He hath songs for man or woman, of all sizes; no

  milliner can so fit his customers with gloves: he

  has the prettiest love-songs for maids; so without

  bawdry, which is strange; with such delicate

  burthens of dildos and fadings, 'jump her and thump

  her;' and where some stretch-mouthed rascal would,

  as it were, mean mischief and break a foul gap into

  the matter, he makes the maid to answer 'Whoop, do me

  no harm, good man;' puts him off, slights him, with

  'Whoop, do me no harm, good man.'

  He has songs for men and women, of all sizes;

  no milliner could make a better fit with his gloves:

  he has the prettiest love songs for girls; completely

  without vulgarity, which is unusual; with such delicate

  nonsensical choruses, ‘jump her and thump

  her;’ and when some foulmouthed rascal

  wants to make mischief and put some vulgarity

  into the song, he has the made answer ‘whoop, do me

  no harm, good man;’ pushes him away and puts him down

  with ‘whoop, do me no harm, good man.’

  POLIXENES

  This is a brave fellow.

  This sounds like a good chap.

  Clown

  Believe me, thou talkest of an admirable conceited

  fellow. Has he any unbraided wares?

  Believe me, we're talking about a wonderfully ingenious

  fellow. Has he any new goods for sale?

  Servant

  He hath ribbons of an the colours i' the rainbow;

  points more than all the lawyers in Bohemia can

  learnedly handle, though they come to him by the

  gross: inkles, caddisses, cambrics, lawns: why, he

  sings 'em over as they were gods or goddesses; you

  would think a smock were a she-angel, he so chants

  to the sleeve-hand and the work about the square on't.

  He has ribbons in all the colours of the rainbow;

  more laces than all the lawyers in Bohemia could

  untangle, even if they came to him in mobs:

  linen tapes, garter tapes, cambric, lawn: why he

  advertises them as if they were gods or goddesses; you

  would think that the smock was a female angel, to hear him sing

  about its cuffs and the embroidery on the bodice.

  Clown

  Prithee bring him in; and let him approach singing.

  Please bring him in; and let him come in singing.

  PERDITA

  Forewarn him that he use no scurrilous words in 's tunes.

  Exit Servant

  Warn him that he is to use no vulgar words in his tunes.

  Clown

  You have of these pedlars, that have more in them

  than you'ld think, sister.

  There is more to some of these pedlars than

  you would imagine, sister.

  PERDITA

  Ay, good brother, or go about to think.

  Yes, good brother, more than I want to think about.

  Enter AUTOLYCUS, singing

  AUTOLYCUS

  Lawn as white as driven snow;

  Cyprus black as e'er was crow;

  Gloves as sweet as damask roses;

  Masks for faces and for noses;

  Bugle bracelet, necklace amber,

  Perfume for a lady's chamber;

  Golden quoifs and stomachers,

  For my lads to give their dears:

  Pins and poking-sticks of steel,

  What maids lack from head to heel:

  Come buy of me, come; come buy, come buy;

  Buy lads, or else your lasses cry: Come buy.

  Lawn as white as driven snow;

  crêpe as black as the crow ever was;

  gloves as sweet as damask roses;

  masks for faces and for noses;

  black glass beads strung together, amber necklaces,

  perfume for a lady's bedroom;

  golden caps and belts,

  for the lads to give their sweethearts:

  pins and collar stiffeners of steel,

  everything a girl could want:

  come and buy from me, come! Come and buy! Come and buy!

  Buy, lads, don't make your lasses cry.

  Come and buy!

  Clown

  If I were not in love with Mopsa, thou shouldst take

  no money of me; but being enthralled as I am, it

  will also be the bondage of certain ribbons and gloves.

  If I were not in love with Mopsa, you would get

  no money from me; but being besotted as I am, I

  will get you to parcel up some ribbons and gloves.

  MOPSA

  I was promised them against the feast; but they come

  not too late now.

  I was promised them in time for the feast; but now

  is not too late.

  DORCAS

  He hath promised you more than that, or there be liars.

  He promised you more than that, or someone is lying.

  MOPSA

  He hath paid you all he promised you; may be, he has

  paid you more, which will shame you to give him again.

  He has paid you all he promised you; maybe he has

  overpaid you, and you're worried you'll have to give it back.

  Clown

  Is there no manners left among maids? will they

  wear their plackets where they should bear their

  faces? Is there not milking-time, when you are

  going to bed, or kiln-hole, to whistle off these

  secrets, but you must be tittle-tattling before all

  our guests? 'tis well they are whispering: clamour

  your tongues, and not a word more.

  Don't girls have any manners any more? Will they

  show their privates where their faces should be?

  Don't you have milking time, or when you're going to bed,

  or sitting round the oven, to whisper about these secrets?

  Do you have to gossip about it in front of all our guests?

  MOPSA

  I have done. Come, you promised me a tawdry-lace

  and a pair of sweet gloves.

  I've finished. Come on, you promised me a coloured scarf

  and a pair of scented gloves.

  Clown

  Have I not told thee how I was cozened by the way

  and lost all my money?

  Didn't I tell you how I was conned on the road

  and lost all my money?

  AUTOLYCUS

  And indeed, sir, there are cozeners abroad;

  therefore it behoves men to be wary.

  Indeed, sir, there are conmen around;

  everyone should be careful.
>
  Clown

  Fear not thou, man, thou shalt lose nothing here.

  Don't you worry, man, you won't lose anything here.

  AUTOLYCUS

  I hope so, sir; for I have about me many parcels of charge.

  I hope not, sir; I have many valuable items with me.

  Clown

  What hast here? ballads?

  What's this you've got? Ballads?

  MOPSA

  Pray now, buy some: I love a ballad in print o'

  life, for then we are sure they are true.

  Now please, buy some: I love a printed ballad,

  I swear, because then we know we've got the right words.

  AUTOLYCUS

  Here's one to a very doleful tune, how a usurer's

  wife was brought to bed of twenty money-bags at a

  burthen and how she longed to eat adders' heads and

  toads carbonadoed.

  Here's one, which has a very sad tune, about a moneylender's

  wife who was pregnant with twenty moneybags,

  and how she wanted to eat adders' heads and

  fried toads.

  MOPSA

  Is it true, think you?

  Is it true, do you think?

  AUTOLYCUS

  Very true, and but a month old.

  Very true, and just a month old.

  DORCAS

  Bless me from marrying a usurer!

  Save me from marrying a money lender!

  AUTOLYCUS

  Here's the midwife's name to't, one Mistress

  Tale-porter, and five or six honest wives that were

  present. Why should I carry lies abroad?

  You can see it's signed by the midwife, one Mistress

 

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