The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)
Page 448
of his unkindness and his kindness, damning
one to hell, and telling the other to grow
faster than thought or time.
FLORIZEL
Worthy Camillo,
What colour for my visitation shall I
Hold up before him?
Good Camillo,
what reason should I give him
for my visit?
CAMILLO
Sent by the king your father
To greet him and to give him comforts. Sir,
The manner of your bearing towards him, with
What you as from your father shall deliver,
Things known betwixt us three, I'll write you down:
The which shall point you forth at every sitting
What you must say; that he shall not perceive
But that you have your father's bosom there
And speak his very heart.
Say you have been sent by the king your father
to greet him and to give him assurances of friendship. Sir,
the way you should behave towards him, and
what you shall deliver as if it came from your father,
things only known to the three of us, I'll write down for you:
this will tell you in every situation
what you should say, so he will believe
that you have all your father's confidence
and speak his heart to you.
FLORIZEL
I am bound to you:
There is some sap in this.
I'm obliged to you:
this is a wise plan.
CAMILLO
A cause more promising
Than a wild dedication of yourselves
To unpath'd waters, undream'd shores, most certain
To miseries enough; no hope to help you,
But as you shake off one to take another;
Nothing so certain as your anchors, who
Do their best office, if they can but stay you
Where you'll be loath to be: besides you know
Prosperity's the very bond of love,
Whose fresh complexion and whose heart together
Affliction alters.
A plan more promising
than wildly throwing yourselves
into unmapped waters, unknown shores, certain
to bring you hardships; with no hope for you
as one follows after another;
the most certain thing would be your anchor, which
at best can only keep you
where you don't want to be: anyway you know
prosperity is the sealant of love,
whose charming looks and whose heart
can be changed by hardship.
PERDITA
One of these is true:
I think affliction may subdue the cheek,
But not take in the mind.
One of those things is true:
I think hardship might change the looks,
but it won't change the mind.
CAMILLO
Yea, say you so?
There shall not at your father's house these
seven years
Be born another such.
Is that what you say?
There won't be another like you
born at your father's house
for an age.
FLORIZEL
My good Camillo,
She is as forward of her breeding as
She is i' the rear our birth.
My good Camillo,
she is as high in nobility as
she is low in birth.
CAMILLO
I cannot say 'tis pity
She lacks instructions, for she seems a mistress
To most that teach.
I can't say that it's a shame
that she hasn't been educated, for she seems superior
to most teachers.
PERDITA
Your pardon, sir; for this
I'll blush you thanks.
You'll excuse me, sir; for this
I'll show my thanks with a blush.
FLORIZEL
My prettiest Perdita!
But O, the thorns we stand upon! Camillo,
Preserver of my father, now of me,
The medicine of our house, how shall we do?
We are not furnish'd like Bohemia's son,
Nor shall appear in Sicilia.
My prettiest Perdita!
But oh, I feel like I'm on hot bricks! Camillo,
saviour of my father, now of me,
the doctor of our house, what shall we do?
I'm not dressed like Bohemia's son,
and I won't seem so in Sicily.
CAMILLO
My lord,
Fear none of this: I think you know my fortunes
Do all lie there: it shall be so my care
To have you royally appointed as if
The scene you play were mine. For instance, sir,
That you may know you shall not want, one word.
They talk aside
Re-enter AUTOLYCUS
My lord,
don't worry about that: I think you know my fortune
is still all there: I will make it my business
to have you so royally dressed as if
I was directing your scene for you. For instance, sir,
so you know you won't lack for anything, let's have a word.
AUTOLYCUS
Ha, ha! what a fool Honesty is! and Trust, his
sworn brother, a very simple gentleman! I have sold
all my trumpery; not a counterfeit stone, not a
ribbon, glass, pomander, brooch, table-book, ballad,
knife, tape, glove, shoe-tie, bracelet, horn-ring,
to keep my pack from fasting: they throng who
should buy first, as if my trinkets had been
hallowed and brought a benediction to the buyer:
by which means I saw whose purse was best in
picture; and what I saw, to my good use I
remembered. My clown, who wants but something to
be a reasonable man, grew so in love with the
wenches' song, that he would not stir his pettitoes
till he had both tune and words; which so drew the
rest of the herd to me that all their other senses
stuck in ears: you might have pinched a placket, it
was senseless; 'twas nothing to geld a codpiece of a
purse; I could have filed keys off that hung in
chains: no hearing, no feeling, but my sir's song,
and admiring the nothing of it. So that in this
time of lethargy I picked and cut most of their
festival purses; and had not the old man come in
with a whoo-bub against his daughter and the king's
son and scared my choughs from the chaff, I had not
left a purse alive in the whole army.
CAMILLO, FLORIZEL, and PERDITA come forward
Ha ha! How stupid Honesty is! And Trust, his
sworn brother, is a very simple gentleman! I have
sold all my rubbish: not a fake stone, not a
ribbon, glass, pomander, brooch, notebook,
ballad, knife, tape, gloves, shoelace, bracelet,
magic ring is left in my empty pack: they mobbed
me for the privilege of buying first, as if my trinkets were
sacred and gave a blessing to the buyer:
because of that I saw whose purse was best for
pinching, and what I saw I remembered for my benefit.
My clown (who's not really all there)
became so in love with the girls singing,
that he would not move his trotters until he had both
the tune and the words; that pulled the rest of the herd
so close to me, that only their ears were working: you
might have pinched a bodice, they were so oblivious;
it was nothing to cut a purse away from a trouser pocket; I could
have filed off the keys that hung from chains: they heard nothing,
felt nothing, but my lad's song, admiring its worthlessness.
So in this quiet interval I picked and cut
most of their dress purses; and if
the old man hadn't come in making a hullabaloo about his
daughter and the king's son, and scared the birds
away from the bait, not one of those purses would have survived.
CAMILLO
Nay, but my letters, by this means being there
So soon as you arrive, shall clear that doubt.
It's all right, my letters, through being there
as soon as you arrive, will stop that doubt.
FLORIZEL
And those that you'll procure from King Leontes--
And those that you'll get from King Leontes–
CAMILLO
Shall satisfy your father.
Will please your father.
PERDITA
Happy be you!
All that you speak shows fair.
Blessings upon you!
Everything you say is good.
CAMILLO
Who have we here?
Seeing AUTOLYCUS
We'll make an instrument of this, omit
Nothing may give us aid.
Who have we here?
We'll use this as a tool, we shan't
neglect anything that could help us.
AUTOLYCUS
If they have overheard me now, why, hanging.
If they overheard what I said just now, I'll be hung.
CAMILLO
How now, good fellow! why shakest thou so? Fear
not, man; here's no harm intended to thee.
Hello there, good fellow! Why are you shaking? Don't
be afraid, man; we don't mean you any harm.
AUTOLYCUS
I am a poor fellow, sir.
I am a poor man, sir.
CAMILLO
Why, be so still; here's nobody will steal that from
thee: yet for the outside of thy poverty we must
make an exchange; therefore discase thee instantly,
--thou must think there's a necessity in't,--and
change garments with this gentleman: though the
pennyworth on his side be the worst, yet hold thee,
there's some boot.
Well, you can carry on being one; there's nobody here who will
steal that away from you: but we want to make a swap
for your poor appearance; undress yourself at once–
you must believe this is essential–and
swap clothes with this gentleman: although he's getting
the rough end of the bargain, if you wait
there will be some reward.
AUTOLYCUS
I am a poor fellow, sir.
Aside
I know ye well enough.
I am a poor fellow, sir.
I know who you are well enough.
CAMILLO
Nay, prithee, dispatch: the gentleman is half
flayed already.
Now, please hurry: this gentleman is half
undressed already.
AUTOLYCUS
Are you in earnest, sir?
Aside
I smell the trick on't.
Are you serious, sir?
I can see a trap here.
FLORIZEL
Dispatch, I prithee.
Hurry, please.
AUTOLYCUS
Indeed, I have had earnest: but I cannot with
conscience take it.
Well, you've paid a deposit: but I can't
in all conscience take it.
CAMILLO
Unbuckle, unbuckle.
Undress, undress.
FLORIZEL and AUTOLYCUS exchange garments
Fortunate mistress,--let my prophecy
Come home to ye!--you must retire yourself
Into some covert: take your sweetheart's hat
And pluck it o'er your brows, muffle your face,
Dismantle you, and, as you can, disliken
The truth of your own seeming; that you may--
For I do fear eyes over--to shipboard
Get undescried.
Lucky mistress–may those words
be proved true!–You must go off
into the woods: take your sweetheart's hat
and pull it down over your forehead, wrap up your face,
undress, and as much as you can disguise
your appearance; so you can–
because I'm worried about spies–get on board the ship
without being spotted.
PERDITA
I see the play so lies
That I must bear a part.
I see the way the play is going,
so that I must take a part.
CAMILLO
No remedy.
Have you done there?
It can't be helped.
Are you finished?
FLORIZEL
Should I now meet my father,
He would not call me son.
If I met my father now,
he wouldn't recognise me.
CAMILLO
Nay, you shall have no hat.
Giving it to PERDITA
Come, lady, come. Farewell, my friend.
No, you will go bareheaded.
[gives the hat to Perdita]
Come on, lady, come on. Goodbye, my friend.
AUTOLYCUS
Adieu, sir.
Goodbye, sir.
FLORIZEL
O Perdita, what have we twain forgot!
Pray you, a word.
Oh Perdita, what have we two forgotten!
Please, a word.
CAMILLO
[Aside] What I do next, shall be to tell the king
Of this escape and whither they are bound;
Wherein my hope is I shall so prevail
To force him after: in whose company
I shall review Sicilia, for whose sight
I have a woman's longing.
What I shall do next will be to tell the king
about this escape and where they are going;
and so I hope that I can persuade him
to chase after them: going with him
I shall see Sicily again, which I have been longing for
like a woman.
FLORIZEL
Fortune speed us!
Thus we set on, Camillo, to the sea-side.
Good luck to us!
So we're setting off, Camillo, to the sea shore.
CAMILLO
The swifter speed the better.
Exeunt FLORIZEL, PERDITA, and CAMILLO
The quicker you go the better.
AUTOLYCUS
I understand the business, I hear it: to have an
open ear, a quick eye, and a nimble hand, is
necessary for a cut-purse; a good nose is requisite
also, to smell out work for the other senses. I see
this is the time that the unjust man doth thrive.
What an exchange had this been without boot! What
a boot is here with this exchange! Sure the gods do
this year connive at us, and we may do any thing
extempore. The prince himself is about a piece of
iniquity, stealing away from his father with his
clog at his heels: if I thought it were a piece of
honesty to acquaint the king withal, I would not
do't: I hold it the more knavery to conceal it;
and therein am I constant to my profession.
Re-enter Clown and Shepherd
Aside, aside; here is more matter for a hot brain:
every lane's end, every shop, church, session,
hanging, yields a careful man work.
I understand what's going on, I've hea
rd it. To have an open
ear, a quick eye, and a nimble hand, is necessary for
a pickpocket; you also need a good nose, to sniff out
work for the other senses. I can see this is the time
for the criminal type to prosper. What a swap
this would have been without any reward! What a reward
I got with this swap! It's certain the gods have decided this is
my year, I don't even need to plan anything.
The prince himself is up to no good
(sneaking away from his father with his ball and chain):
if I thought it was the honest thing to do
to let the king know about it, I wouldn't do it: I think it
is more wicked to keep it hidden; and so I stick
to the rules of my profession.
I'll just step to one side; here's more business for a quick mind:
every street corner, every shop, church, trial,
hanging, gives the thinking man opportunities.
Clown
See, see; what a man you are now!
There is no other way but to tell the king
she's a changeling and none of your flesh and blood.
You see: what position you're in now!
The only thing is to tell the king
she's a changeling and no relation of yours.
Shepherd
Nay, but hear me.
No, but listen to me.
Clown
Nay, but hear me.
No, you listen to me.
Shepherd
Go to, then.
Go on then.