The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)
Page 503
that he draws all sorts towards him,
and all men give half their hearts to him.
IMOGEN.
You make amends.
You are making up for what you said.
IACHIMO.
He sits 'mongst men like a descended god:
He hath a kind of honour sets him of
More than a mortal seeming. Be not angry,
Most mighty Princess, that I have adventur'd
To try your taking of a false report, which hath
Honour'd with confirmation your great judgment
In the election of a sir so rare,
Which you know cannot err. The love I bear him
Made me to fan you thus; but the gods made you,
Unlike all others, chaffless. Pray your pardon.
He sits amongst men like a god come down from heaven;
he has a kind of honour which makes him seem
more than mortal.Don't be angry,
great Princess, that I tried
to test you by giving you a false report, which has
shown how good you are and how right
you were to choose such a unique gentleman,
whom you know cannot stray.The love I have for him
made me test you like this; but the gods made you
unique and faultless.Please forgive me.
IMOGEN.
All's well, sir; take my pow'r i' th' court for yours.
All's well, sir;you are welcome to the court.
IACHIMO.
My humble thanks. I had almost forgot
T' entreat your Grace but in a small request,
And yet of moment too, for it concerns
Your lord; myself and other noble friends
Are partners in the business.
My humble thanks.I'd almost forgotten
to ask your Grace about a small request,
but an important one too, for it concerns
your lord; other noble friends and I
are also involved.
IMOGEN.
Pray what is't?
Tell me what it is.
IACHIMO.
Some dozen Romans of us, and your lord-
The best feather of our wing- have mingled sums
To buy a present for the Emperor;
Which I, the factor for the rest, have done
In France. 'Tis plate of rare device, and jewels
Of rich and exquisite form, their values great;
And I am something curious, being strange,
To have them in safe stowage. May it please you
To take them in protection?
Some dozen of us Romans, and your lord,
the best one amongst us - have clubbed together
to buy a present for the Emperor;
As a representative for the rest I've had it made
in France.It's plate of unique design, with
expensive and exquisite jewels;
I'm rather concerned, being a foreigner,
to have them safely stored.Would you mind
taking care of them?
IMOGEN.
Willingly;
And pawn mine honour for their safety. Since
My lord hath interest in them, I will keep them
In my bedchamber.
Gladly;
and I'll pledge my honour that they'll be safe.
Since my lord is involved with them, I'll keep them
in my bedroom.
IACHIMO.
They are in a trunk,
Attended by my men. I will make bold
To send them to you only for this night;
I must aboard to-morrow.
They are in a trunk,
guarded by my men.I will be so bold
as to ask you to keep them just for tonight;
I must take my ship tomorrow.
IMOGEN.
O, no, no.
Oh no, no.
IACHIMO.
Yes, I beseech; or I shall short my word
By length'ning my return. From Gallia
I cross'd the seas on purpose and on promise
To see your Grace.
Yes, I beg you; otherwise I'll break my word
by coming back late.I crossed the seas
from France solely to keep the promise
that I would see your Grace.
IMOGEN.
I thank you for your pains.
But not away to-morrow!
I thank you for your trouble.
But don't go tomorrow!
IACHIMO.
O, I must, madam.
Therefore I shall beseech you, if you please
To greet your lord with writing, do't to-night.
I have outstood my time, which is material
'To th' tender of our present.
Oh, madam, I must.
So I must ask you, if you want
to write to your lord, do it tonight.
I have outstayed my time, and that has an effect
on the delivery of our present.
IMOGEN.
I will write.
Send your trunk to me; it shall safe be kept
And truly yielded you. You're very welcome.
Exeunt
I will write.
Send me your trunk; it will be kept safe
and returned intact.You're very welcome.
Enter CLOTEN and the two LORDS
CLOTEN.
Was there ever man had such luck! When I kiss'd the
jack,
upon an up-cast to be hit away! I had a hundred pound on't;
and
then a whoreson jackanapes must take me up for swearing, as
if I
borrowed mine oaths of him, and might not spend them at my
pleasure.
Was anyone ever so unlucky!I kissed the jack with my bowl,
then a lucky shot knocked it away!I had a hundred pounds on it,
and then some son of a bitch monkey told me off for swearing,
as if my swearwords were borrowed from him, and I couldn't spend them as I liked.
FIRST LORD.
What got he by that? You have broke his pate with
your
bowl.
That didn't do him much good, your broke his head with your bowl.
SECOND LORD.
[Aside] If his wit had been like him that broke
it, it
would have run all out.
And if his brains were as soft as the one who broke it
they would have all run out.
CLOTEN.
When a gentleman is dispos'd to swear, it is not for
any
standers-by to curtail his oaths. Ha?
When a gentleman wants to swear, it's not the business
of any bystanders to stop him, eh?
SECOND LORD.
No, my lord; [Aside] nor crop the ears of them.
No my lord.[Aside] nor to stop them looking like asses.
CLOTEN.
Whoreson dog! I give him satisfaction? Would he had
been
one of my rank!
Son of a bitch!Should I take up his challenge?I wish
he'd been one of my own class!
SECOND LORD.
[Aside] To have smell'd like a fool.
Then he'd stink.
CLOTEN.
I am not vex'd more at anything in th' earth. A pox
on't! I
had rather not be so noble as I am; they dare not fight with
me,
because of the Queen my mother. Every jackslave hath his
bellyful
of fighting, and I must go up and down like a cock that
nobody
can match.
It's the most annoying thing ever.Curse it!
I'd rather not be so noble; they dare not fight with me,
because the Queen is my mother.Every common man gets
as much fighting as he
wants, while I have to parade about
like a cock nobody has a fit opponent for.
SECOND LORD.
[Aside] You are cock and capon too; and you crow,
cock, with your comb on.
You're a cock and an idiot, crowing, "I'm a cock!"
CLOTEN.
Sayest thou?
What are you saying?
SECOND LORD.
It is not fit your lordship should undertake every
companion that you give offence to.
That your lord shouldn't have to fight
every man you offend.
CLOTEN.
No, I know that; but it is fit I should commit offence
to
my inferiors.
No, I know that; but it is right that I should
offend my inferiors.
SECOND LORD.
Ay, it is fit for your lordship only.
Yes, just for your lordship.
CLOTEN.
Why, so I say.
Well, that's what I'm saying.
FIRST LORD.
Did you hear of a stranger that's come to court
to-night?
Did you hear about a stranger who came to the court tonight?
CLOTEN.
A stranger, and I not known on't?
A stranger, and I wasn't told about it?
SECOND LORD.
[Aside] He's a strange fellow himself, and knows
it
not.
He's a strange fellow himself, and doesn't know it.
FIRST LORD.
There's an Italian come, and, 'tis thought, one of
Leonatus' friends.
There's an Italian come, who's thought to be
a friend of Leonatus.
CLOTEN.
Leonatus? A banish'd rascal; and he's another,
whatsoever
he be. Who told you of this stranger?
Leonatus?An exiled rascal, and he's another one,
whoever he is.Who told you about this stranger?
FIRST LORD.
One of your lordship's pages.
One of your lordship's pages.
CLOTEN.
Is it fit I went to look upon him? Is there no
derogation
in't?
Would it be right for me to go and see him?
I wouldn't be lowering myself?
SECOND LORD.
You cannot derogate, my lord.
You can't go any lower, my lord.
CLOTEN.
Not easily, I think.
Not easily, I think.
SECOND LORD.
[Aside] You are a fool granted; therefore your
issues,
being foolish, do not derogate.
We all know you're a fool, so your foolish business
can't debase you.
CLOTEN.
Come, I'll go see this Italian. What I have lost to-day
at
bowls I'll win to-night of him. Come, go.
Come, I'll have a look at this Italian.What I lost today
at bowling I'll win off him tonight.Come, let's go.
SECOND LORD.
I'll attend your lordship.
Exeunt CLOTEN and FIRST LORD
That such a crafty devil as is his mother
Should yield the world this ass! A woman that
Bears all down with her brain; and this her son
Cannot take two from twenty, for his heart,
And leave eighteen. Alas, poor princess,
Thou divine Imogen, what thou endur'st,
Betwixt a father by thy step-dame govern'd,
A mother hourly coining plots, a wooer
More hateful than the foul expulsion is
Of thy dear husband, than that horrid act
Of the divorce he'd make! The heavens hold firm
The walls of thy dear honour, keep unshak'd
That temple, thy fair mind, that thou mayst stand
T' enjoy thy banish'd lord and this great land!
Exit
I'll follow your lordship.
How did such a crafty devil as his mother
produce such an idiot!She's a woman
who can outthink anybody, and here's her son
who can't subtract two from twenty and leave
eighteen to save his life.Alas, poor princess,
divine Imogen, what you've had to endure,
between a father ruled by your stepmother,
a mother who's always making up new plots,
a suitor who's even more horrible than
the exile of your husband, more horrible
than the divorce he wants you to have!May the heavens
help you keep your honour intact, don't disturb
your temple, that lovely mind, so you can survive
to enjoy your banished lord and this great country!
Enter IMOGEN in her bed, and a LADY attending
IMOGEN.
Who's there? My woman? Helen?
Who's there?My woman?Helen?
LADY.
Please you, madam.
If you please, madam.
IMOGEN.
What hour is it?
What's the time?
LADY.
Almost midnight, madam.
Almost midnight, madam.
IMOGEN.
I have read three hours then. Mine eyes are weak;
Fold down the leaf where I have left. To bed.
Take not away the taper, leave it burning;
And if thou canst awake by four o' th' clock,
I prithee call me. Sleep hath seiz'd me wholly. Exit LADY
To your protection I commend me, gods.
From fairies and the tempters of the night
Guard me, beseech ye!
[Sleeps. IACHIMO comes from the trunk]
I've been reading for three hours then.My eyes are tired;
fold down the page I got to.I'm for bed.
Don't take away the candle, leave it burning;
if you can wake up at four o'clock,
please wake me.Sleep has overcome me.
I give myself to your protection, gods.
I beg that you guard me against
fairies and demons!
IACHIMO.
The crickets sing, and man's o'er-labour'd sense
Repairs itself by rest. Our Tarquin thus
Did softly press the rushes ere he waken'd
The chastity he wounded. Cytherea,
How bravely thou becom'st thy bed! fresh lily,
And whiter than the sheets! That I might touch!
But kiss; one kiss! Rubies unparagon'd,
How dearly they do't! 'Tis her breathing that
Perfumes the chamber thus. The flame o' th' taper
Bows toward her and would under-peep her lids
To see th' enclosed lights, now canopied
Under these windows white and azure, lac'd
With blue of heaven's own tinct. But my design
To note the chamber. I will write all down:
Such and such pictures; there the window; such
Th' adornment of her bed; the arras, figures-
Why, such and such; and the contents o' th' story.
Ah, but some natural notes about her body
Above ten thousand meaner movables
Would testify, t' enrich mine inventory.
O sleep, thou ape of death, lie dull upon her!
And be her sense but as a monument,
Thus in a chapel lying! Come off, come off;
[Taking off her bracelet]
As slippery as the Gordian knot was hard!
'Tis mine; and this will witness outwardly,
As strongly as the conscience does within,
To th' madding of her lord. On her left breast
A mole cinque-spotted, like the crimson drops
I' th' bottom of a cowslip. Here's a voucher
Stronger than e
ver law could make; this secret
Will force him think I have pick'd the lock and ta'en
The treasure of her honour. No more. To what end?
Why should I write this down that's riveted,
Screw'd to my memory? She hath been reading late
The tale of Tereus; here the leaf's turn'd down
Where Philomel gave up. I have enough.
To th' trunk again, and shut the spring of it.
Swift, swift, you dragons of the night, that dawning
May bare the raven's eye! I lodge in fear;
Though this a heavenly angel, hell is here. [Clock strikes]
One, two, three. Time, time!
Exit into the trunk
The crickets are singing, and men's overworked minds
repair themselves with rest. This is how our Tarquin
crept across the floor before he woke
the chastity he wounded. Venus,
how well you suit your bed! A fresh lily,
whiter than the sheets! If only I could touch you!
Just a kiss; one kiss! Matchless rubies,
how sweetly they do it! It's her breath that
makes the room smells so sweet. The flame of the candle
bows towards her and wants to peep under her eyelids
to see the hidden lights, now covered by these
windows, white and azure, laced with
the blue of heaven. But to my plan.
I must describe the chamber: or write it all down:
these are the pictures: there is the window, this
is how her bed is made; the tapestry, statues,
this, this and this; and the contents of the room.