The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)
Page 629
works on the thief.
Fool
Are you three usurers' men?
Are you three moneylenders' men?
All Servants
Ay, fool.
Yes, fool.
Fool
I think no usurer but has a fool to his servant: my
mistress is one, and I am her fool. When men come
to borrow of your masters, they approach sadly, and
go away merry; but they enter my mistress' house
merrily, and go away sadly: the reason of this?
I think all moneylenders have fools as servants; my
mistress is one, and I am her fool. When men come
to borrow from your masters, they come sad and
leave merry; but they come to my mistress's house merry
and go away sad. Why is this?
Varro's Servant
I could render one.
I can think of a reason.
APEMANTUS
Do it then, that we may account thee a whoremaster
and a knave; which not-withstanding, thou shalt be
no less esteemed.
Tell us then, so we can say you are a pimp and a knave;
we won't think any less of you for it.
Varro's Servant
What is a whoremaster, fool?
What's a pimp, fool?
Fool
A fool in good clothes, and something like thee.
'Tis a spirit: sometime't appears like a lord;
sometime like a lawyer; sometime like a philosopher,
with two stones moe than's artificial one: he is
very often like a knight; and, generally, in all
shapes that man goes up and down in from fourscore
to thirteen, this spirit walks in.
A fool in a nice suit, a bit like you.
He's a ghost; sometimes he looks like a lord;
sometimes a lawyer; sometimes a philosopher,
with two stones more than his scientific one: he's
very often like a knight; and, overall, he takes on
all the shapes men assume between thirteen
and eighty.
Varro's Servant
Thou art not altogether a fool.
You're not a complete fool.
Fool
Nor thou altogether a wise man: as much foolery as
I have, so much wit thou lackest.
Nor are you a completely wise man: for all the foolery I have,
you're missing the same amount of wit.
APEMANTUS
That answer might have become Apemantus.
That answer could have come from me.
All Servants
Aside, aside; here comes Lord Timon.
Stand aside; here comes Lord Timon.
Re-enter TIMON and FLAVIUS
APEMANTUS
Come with me, fool, come.
Come with me, fool, come.
Fool
I do not always follow lover, elder brother and
woman; sometime the philosopher.
I don't always follow a lover, elder brother or
woman; sometimes I follow a philosopher.
Exeunt APEMANTUS and Fool
FLAVIUS
Pray you, walk near: I'll speak with you anon.
Please, stay nearby: I'll speak to you shortly.
Exeunt Servants
TIMON
You make me marvel: wherefore ere this time
Had you not fully laid my state before me,
That I might so have rated my expense,
As I had leave of means?
You astonish me: why didn't you explain
the state of my affairs earlier,
so I could have suited my expenditure
to my means?
FLAVIUS
You would not hear me,
At many leisures I proposed.
You wouldn't listen,
I suggested it many times.
TIMON
Go to:
Perchance some single vantages you took.
When my indisposition put you back:
And that unaptness made your minister,
Thus to excuse yourself.
Come on:
maybe you tried occasionally,
when I didn't have time to listen,
and you made my unavailability
your excuse not to try again.
FLAVIUS
O my good lord,
At many times I brought in my accounts,
Laid them before you; you would throw them off,
And say, you found them in mine honesty.
When, for some trifling present, you have bid me
Return so much, I have shook my head and wept;
Yea, 'gainst the authority of manners, pray'd you
To hold your hand more close: I did endure
Not seldom, nor no slight cheques, when I have
Prompted you in the ebb of your estate
And your great flow of debts. My loved lord,
Though you hear now, too late--yet now's a time--
The greatest of your having lacks a half
To pay your present debts.
Oh my good lord,
many times I brought in my accounts,
and put them in front of you; you would push them away,
and say you trusted my honesty.
When you have told me to give so much in return
for some little present I have shaken my head and wept;
in contradiction to the laws of manners I begged you
to be less extravagant; I had to put up with
frequent harsh rebukes, when I
told you how your estate was running out of money,
and how much debt you were piling up. My beloved lord,
though you're listening now it's too late - but I must still tell you -
everything you've got won't pay half
of the debts you have.
TIMON
Let all my land be sold.
Let all my land be sold.
FLAVIUS
'Tis all engaged, some forfeited and gone;
And what remains will hardly stop the mouth
Of present dues: the future comes apace:
What shall defend the interim? and at length
How goes our reckoning?
It's all mortgaged, some of it forfeited and gone for good;
and what there is left will hardly cover the debts
due now; the future's rushing on us:
how shall we live for now? And what's our
long term plan?
TIMON
To Lacedaemon did my land extend.
My lands stretched as far as Lacedaemon.
FLAVIUS
O my good lord, the world is but a word:
Were it all yours to give it in a breath,
How quickly were it gone!
Oh my good lord, the world is just a word:
if it was all yours to give away in one breath,
how quickly it would be gone.
TIMON
You tell me true.
You're right.
FLAVIUS
If you suspect my husbandry or falsehood,
Call me before the exactest auditors
And set me on the proof. So the gods bless me,
When all our offices have been oppress'd
With riotous feeders, when our vaults have wept
With drunken spilth of wine, when every room
Hath blazed with lights and bray'd with minstrelsy,
I have retired me to a wasteful cock,
And set mine eyes at flow.
If you suspect me of bad accounting or fraud,
call in the strictest auditors
and ask me to prove myself. I swear by the gods,
that when all we servants have been overwhelmed
with rowdy feasters, when our cellars have been swamped
with dru
nkenly spilled wine, when every room
has blazed with lights and been packed with musicians,
I have gone down to the swimming cellars,
and added my tears to the flow of wine.
TIMON
Prithee, no more.
Please, no more.
FLAVIUS
Heavens, have I said, the bounty of this lord!
How many prodigal bits have slaves and peasants
This night englutted! Who is not Timon's?
What heart, head, sword, force, means, but is
Lord Timon's?
Great Timon, noble, worthy, royal Timon!
Ah, when the means are gone that buy this praise,
The breath is gone whereof this praise is made:
Feast-won, fast-lost; one cloud of winter showers,
These flies are couch'd.
Heavens, I've said to myself, the generosity of this lord!
how much extravagant food slaves and peasants have
gobbled tonight! Who doesn't love Timon?
What heart, head, strength, money, isn't devoted to
Lord Timon?
Great Timon, noble, worthy, royal Timon!
Ah, when the money to buy this praise is gone,
the breath that formed this praise is gone too:
won with feasting, lost with hunger; if there's one cloud
bringing winter showers, these flies leave.
TIMON
Come, sermon me no further:
No villanous bounty yet hath pass'd my heart;
Unwisely, not ignobly, have I given.
Why dost thou weep? Canst thou the conscience lack,
To think I shall lack friends? Secure thy heart;
If I would broach the vessels of my love,
And try the argument of hearts by borrowing,
Men and men's fortunes could I frankly use
As I can bid thee speak.
Come, stop lecturing me:
I've never done anything that supported evil;
I've given unwisely, not dishonourably.
Why are you weeping? Do you really believe
that I will lack friends? Don't worry;
if I was to open up these people's hearts,
and put all their promises to the test,
I could get them to serve me,
as easily as I can ask you to speak.
FLAVIUS
Assurance bless your thoughts!
I hope this will prove true!
TIMON
And, in some sort, these wants of mine are crown'd,
That I account them blessings; for by these
Shall I try friends: you shall perceive how you
Mistake my fortunes; I am wealthy in my friends.
Within there! Flaminius! Servilius!
And in some ways these problems are a good thing,
I'll call them a blessing; this is the way I
shall see who my friends are: you shall see that you're wrong
to think I am poor; I am rich in friends.
Hello there! Flaminius! Servillus!
Enter FLAMINIUS, SERVILIUS, and other Servants
Servants
My lord? my lord?
My lord? My lord?
TIMON
I will dispatch you severally; you to Lord Lucius;
to Lord Lucullus you: I hunted with his honour
to-day: you, to Sempronius: commend me to their
loves, and, I am proud, say, that my occasions have
found time to use 'em toward a supply of money: let
the request be fifty talents.
I'll send you off to different places; you go to Lord Luciius;
you to Lord Lucullus: I hunted with his honour
today: you go to Sempronius: give them my compliments
and say, I am proud, that I have found myself
in need of some cash-flow: ask them
for fifty talents.
FLAMINIUS
As you have said, my lord.
Just as you say, my lord.
FLAVIUS
[Aside] Lord Lucius and Lucullus? hum!
Lords Lucius and Lucullus? Hmm!
TIMON
Go you, sir, to the senators--
Of whom, even to the state's best health, I have
Deserved this hearing--bid 'em send o' the instant
A thousand talents to me.
You, sir, go to the senators-
because of what I have done for the state, I deserve
their attention - tell them to send me
a thousand talents at once.
FLAVIUS
I have been bold--
For that I knew it the most general way--
To them to use your signet and your name;
But they do shake their heads, and I am here
No richer in return.
I took the liberty-
for I knew it was our best bet-
to use your credentials to ask them;
but they shook their heads, and here I am,
no richer than before.
TIMON
Is't true? can't be?
Is this true? Can this really have happened?
FLAVIUS
They answer, in a joint and corporate voice,
That now they are at fall, want treasure, cannot
Do what they would; are sorry--you are honourable,--
But yet they could have wish'd--they know not--
Something hath been amiss--a noble nature
May catch a wrench--would all were well--'tis pity;--
And so, intending other serious matters,
After distasteful looks and these hard fractions,
With certain half-caps and cold-moving nods
They froze me into silence.
They said unanimously
that they are at a low ebb, they lack money and can't
do as they'd like to; they are sorry-they know you're a good man-
but they wish you- they don't know-
something was wrong-a noble man
can go off the rails-they wished all was well-it was a shame-
and so, moving on to other important matters,
after looking disdainful and giving me these harsh words,
with a wave of the hand and a chilly nod,
they dismissed me.
TIMON
You gods, reward them!
Prithee, man, look cheerly. These old fellows
Have their ingratitude in them hereditary:
Their blood is caked, 'tis cold, it seldom flows;
'Tis lack of kindly warmth they are not kind;
And nature, as it grows again toward earth,
Is fashion'd for the journey, dull and heavy.
You gods, give them what they deserve!
Come on man, cheer up. These old fellows
are always mean, it comes with age:
their blood is thick, it's cold, they have no passion;
lacking kindly warmth they are not kind;
and nature, as it starts back towards the earth it came from,
begins to suit itself to the journey, becomes dull and heavy.
To a Servant
Go to Ventidius.
Go to Ventidius.
To FLAVIUS
Prithee, be not sad,
Thou art true and honest; ingeniously I speak.
No blame belongs to thee.
Please, don't be sad,
you are faithful and honest; I'm speaking honestly.
There's no blame on you.
To Servant
Ventidius lately
Buried his father; by whose death he's stepp'd
Into a great estate: when he was poor,
Imprison'd and in scarcity of friends,
I clear'd him with five talents: greet him from me;
Bid him suppose some good necessity
Touches his friend, which craves to be remember'd
With those five t
alents.
Ventidius recently
buried his father; through his death he's acquired
a large fortune: when he was poor,
imprisoned and lacking friends,
I paid his debts with five talents: give him my regards,
and inform him that his friend is in genuine need,
and he would appreciate him returning the favour
with those five talents.
Exit Servant
To FLAVIUS
That had, give't these fellows
To whom 'tis instant due. Ne'er speak, or think,
That Timon's fortunes 'mong his friends can sink.
Once we have that, pay off those fellows
who are claiming it at once. Never say or think
that Timon will lose his friends.
FLAVIUS
I would I could not think it: that thought is
bounty's foe;
Being free itself, it thinks all others so.
I wish I couldn't think it; thinking that
makes it easy for you to be exploited;
when you're generous, you tend to think everyone else is the same.
Exeunt
FLAMINIUS waiting. Enter a Servant to him
Servant
I have told my lord of you; he is coming down to you.
I've told my lord you're here; he's coming down to you.
FLAMINIUS
I thank you, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Enter LUCULLUS
Servant
Here's my lord.
Here's my lord.