The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

by William Shakespeare

sorry, when he sent to borrow of me, that my

  provision was out.

  In the same way my business was taking up all

  my time, but he wouldn't listen to my excuse. I am

  sorry that when he asked to borrow money from me that I

  had none to lend him.

  First Lord

  I am sick of that grief too, as I understand how all

  things go.

  That made me sad too, especially now I understand

  his position.

  Second Lord

  Every man here's so. What would he have borrowed of

  you?

  Every man here thinks the same. What did he want to borrow from

  you?

  First Lord

  A thousand pieces.

  A thousand gold pieces.

  Second Lord

  A thousand pieces!

  A thousand pieces!

  First Lord

  What of you?

  What about you?

  Second Lord

  He sent to me, sir,--Here he comes.

  He sent to me, sir–here he comes.

  Enter TIMON and Attendants

  TIMON

  With all my heart, gentlemen both; and how fare you?

  Welcome with all my heart, good gentlemen; and how are you

  you?

  First Lord

  Ever at the best, hearing well of your lordship.

  Always well when we hear your lordship is well.

  Second Lord

  The swallow follows not summer more willing than we

  your lordship.

  The swallow doesn't follow the summer more willingly than we

  follow you.

  TIMON

  [Aside] Nor more willingly leaves winter; such

  summer-birds are men. Gentlemen, our dinner will not

  recompense this long stay: feast your ears with the

  music awhile, if they will fare so harshly o' the

  trumpet's sound; we shall to 't presently.

  Nor is more willing to leave in winter; men are

  summer birds. Gentlemen, our dinner will not

  be long: feed your ears with the

  music for a while, if they can enjoy anything as harsh

  as the trumpet; we'll sit down to dinner shortly.

  First Lord

  I hope it remains not unkindly with your lordship

  that I returned you an empty messenger.

  I hope your lordship wasn't offended

  that I returned your messenger empty-handed.

  TIMON

  O, sir, let it not trouble you.

  Oh, sir, don't let it bother you.

  Second Lord

  My noble lord,--

  My noble lord–

  TIMON

  Ah, my good friend, what cheer?

  Ah, my good friend, how are you?

  Second Lord

  My most honourable lord, I am e'en sick of shame,

  that, when your lordship this other day sent to me,

  I was so unfortunate a beggar.

  My most honourable lord, I am sick with shame

  that, when your lordship sent me a request the other day,

  I was so poor.

  TIMON

  Think not on 't, sir.

  Don't think about it, sir.

  Second Lord

  If you had sent but two hours before,--

  If you had only sent someone two hours before–

  TIMON

  Let it not cumber your better remembrance.

  Don't let it weigh on your mind.

  The banquet brought in

  Come, bring in all together.

  Come on, everyone come in together.

  Second Lord

  All covered dishes!

  All covered dishes!

  First Lord

  Royal cheer, I warrant you.

  Wonderful food, I'll bet.

  Third Lord

  Doubt not that, if money and the season can yield

  it.

  You shouldn't doubt it, if money and the season can provide

  it.

  First Lord

  How do you? What's the news?

  How are you? What's the news?

  Third Lord

  Alcibiades is banished: hear you of it?

  Alcibiades is banished: did you hear about it?

  First Lord Second Lord

  Alcibiades banished!

  Alcibiades banished!

  Third Lord

  'Tis so, be sure of it.

  Yes, it's definite.

  First Lord

  How! how!

  What! What!

  Second Lord

  I pray you, upon what?

  Tell me, what was the reason?

  TIMON

  My worthy friends, will you draw near?

  My worthy friends, will you come to the table?

  Third Lord

  I'll tell you more anon. Here's a noble feast toward.

  I'll tell you more shortly. There is a great feast to be had.

  Second Lord

  This is the old man still.

  He's like he used to be.

  Third Lord

  Will 't hold? will 't hold?

  Will it last? Can he support it?

  Second Lord

  It does: but time will--and so--

  It does: but time will–and so–

  Third Lord

  I do conceive.

  I understand what you mean.

  TIMON

  Each man to his stool, with that spur as he would to

  the lip of his mistress: your diet shall be in all

  places alike. Make not a city feast of it, to let

  the meat cool ere we can agree upon the first place:

  sit, sit. The gods require our thanks.

  You great benefactors, sprinkle our society with

  thankfulness. For your own gifts, make yourselves

  praised: but reserve still to give, lest your

  deities be despised. Lend to each man enough, that

  one need not lend to another; for, were your

  godheads to borrow of men, men would forsake the

  gods. Make the meat be beloved more than the man

  that gives it. Let no assembly of twenty be without

  a score of villains: if there sit twelve women at

  the table, let a dozen of them be--as they are. The

  rest of your fees, O gods--the senators of Athens,

  together with the common lag of people--what is

  amiss in them, you gods, make suitable for

  destruction. For these my present friends, as they

  are to me nothing, so in nothing bless them, and to

  nothing are they welcome.

  Uncover, dogs, and lap.

  The dishes are uncovered and seen to be full of warm water

  Every man go to his stool, as keenly as he would to

  the lips of his mistress. You shall have the same food at every

  seat. Don't let's have a formal banquet, where the meat cools

  before we can agree who will sit where. Sit, sit. The

  gods must be thanked.

  You great benefactors, sprinkle our company with gratitude.

  Allow yourselves to be praised for your gifts; but

  always keep something in reserve, in case you become hated. Lend each

  man enough so that nobody needs to borrow from another; for if your

  graces borrowed from men, men would abandon the gods.

  Make the meat be more loved than the man who gives it.

  Let every company of twenty have twenty villains in it.

  If there are twelve women at a table, let a dozen of them be

  the same. The rest of your property, O gods, the senators of Athens,

  together with the common people–whatever is wrong with them,

  you gods, get ready to destroy them. As for these

  peo
ple who are my friends at the moment, as they are nothing to me, so don't

  bless them in anything, and they are welcome to nothing.

  Take off the covers, dogs, and slurp.

  Some Speak

  What does his lordship mean?

  What is the meaning of this?

  Some Others

  I know not.

  I don't know.

  TIMON

  May you a better feast never behold,

  You knot of mouth-friends! Smoke and lukewarm water

  Is your perfection. This is Timon's last;

  Who, stuck and spangled with your flatteries,

  Washes it off, and sprinkles in your faces

  Your reeking villany.

  Throwing the water in their faces

  Live loathed and long,

  Most smiling, smooth, detested parasites,

  Courteous destroyers, affable wolves, meek bears,

  You fools of fortune, trencher-friends, time's flies,

  Cap and knee slaves, vapours, and minute-jacks!

  Of man and beast the infinite malady

  Crust you quite o'er! What, dost thou go?

  Soft! take thy physic first--thou too--and thou;--

  Stay, I will lend thee money, borrow none.

  Throws the dishes at them, and drives them out

  What, all in motion? Henceforth be no feast,

  Whereat a villain's not a welcome guest.

  Burn, house! sink, Athens! henceforth hated be

  Of Timon, man and all humanity!

  Exit

  May you never have a better feast than this,

  you group of cupboard lovers! Smoke and lukewarm water

  is all you deserve. This is all Timon has left;

  sprinkled all over with your flattery,

  he washes it off, and throws your stinking villainy

  back in your faces.

  Live long hated lives,

  you smiling, smooth, detestable parasites,

  polite destroyers, affable wolves, meek bears,

  you fools of fortune, mealtime friends, summer insects,

  grovelling slaves, unsubstantial shifters!

  May the worst illnesses of men and animals

  scab over your skin! What, are you going?

  Wait, take your medicine first–you too–and you!

  Wait, I will lend you money, I won't borrow any.

  What? All going? From now on there should be no feast

  at which the villain is not a welcome guest.

  Burn, house! Sink, Athens! From now on be hated

  by Timon, man and all humanity!

  Re-enter the Lords, Senators, & c

  First Lord

  How now, my lords!

  What's all this, my lords!

  Second Lord

  Know you the quality of Lord Timon's fury?

  Do you know why Lord Timon is so angry?

  Third Lord

  Push! did you see my cap?

  Tcha! Did you see my cap?

  Fourth Lord

  I have lost my gown.

  I have lost my gown.

  First Lord

  He's but a mad lord, and nought but humour sways him.

  He gave me a jewel th' other day, and now he has

  beat it out of my hat: did you see my jewel?

  He's just a mad lord, and he is governed by his moods.

  He gave me a jewel the other day, and now he has

  knocked it out of my hat: did you see my jewel?

  Third Lord

  Did you see my cap?

  Have you seen my cap?

  Second Lord

  Here 'tis.

  Here it is.

  Fourth Lord

  Here lies my gown.

  Here is my gown.

  First Lord

  Let's make no stay.

  Let's not stay here.

  Second Lord

  Lord Timon's mad.

  Lord Timon is mad.

  Third Lord

  I feel 't upon my bones.

  I can feel that in the bruises he's given me.

  Fourth Lord

  One day he gives us diamonds, next day stones.

  One day he's throwing diamonds at us, the next day stones.

  Exeunt

  Enter TIMON TIMON Let me look back upon thee. O thou wall, That girdlest in those wolves, dive in the earth, And fence not Athens! Matrons, turn incontinent! Obedience fail in children! slaves and fools, Pluck the grave wrinkled senate from the bench, And minister in their steads! to general filths Convert o' the instant, green virginity, Do 't in your parents' eyes! bankrupts, hold fast; Rather than render back, out with your knives, And cut your trusters' throats! bound servants, steal! Large-handed robbers your grave masters are, And pill by law. Maid, to thy master's bed; Thy mistress is o' the brothel! Son of sixteen, pluck the lined crutch from thy old limping sire, With it beat out his brains! Piety, and fear, Religion to the gods, peace, justice, truth, Domestic awe, night-rest, and neighbourhood, Instruction, manners, mysteries, and trades, Degrees, observances, customs, and laws, Decline to your confounding contraries, And let confusion live! Plagues, incident to men, Your potent and infectious fevers heap On Athens, ripe for stroke! Thou cold sciatica, Cripple our senators, that their limbs may halt As lamely as their manners. Lust and liberty Creep in the minds and marrows of our youth, That 'gainst the stream of virtue they may strive, And drown themselves in riot! Itches, blains, Sow all the Athenian bosoms; and their crop Be general leprosy! Breath infect breath, at their society, as their friendship, may merely poison! Nothing I'll bear from thee, But nakedness, thou detestable town! Take thou that too, with multiplying bans! Timon will to the woods; where he shall find The unkindest beast more kinder than mankind. The gods confound--hear me, you good gods all-- The Athenians both within and out that wall! And grant, as Timon grows, his hate may grow To the whole race of mankind, high and low! Amen. Exit

  Let me look back at you. Oh you wall

  that stretches round those wolves, dive into the earth,

  and don't protect Athens! Women, be unfaithful!

  Children, become disobedient! Slaves and fools,

  drag the revered wrinkled senators from their benches

  and govern in their place! Virgins,

  turn at once to filthy behaviour!

  Do it in front of your parents! Bankrupts, stand firm;

  instead of repaying your debts, take out your lives,

  and cut the throats of those who trusted you! Contracted servants, steal!

  Your dignified masters are terrible thieves,

  and they steal legally. Maid, get in your master's bed;

  your mistress belongs in the brothel! Sixteen-year-old son,

  grab the padded crutch off your old limping father;

  beat his brains out with it! Piety and fear,

  respect for the gods, peace, justice, truth,

  domestic respect, peace and neighbourliness,

  teaching, manners, crafts and trades,

  collapse into your ruinous opposites;

  and may the destruction continue! Natural plagues of men,

  Load your powerful and infectious fevers

  on Athens, which is ready for them! You cold sciatica,

  cripple our senators, so that their limbs limp

  as lamely as their manners! May lust and licentiousness

  creep into the minds and bones of our youth,

  so that they fight against everything virtuous,

  and drown themselves in chaos! Itches, blisters,

  seed yourself in the bodies of all Athenians, and grow

  into general leprosy! May each breath infect the other,

  so that their society, just like their friendship, may

  be pure poison! I'll carry nothing away from you

  but my nakedness, you revolting town!

  Take that too, with multiplied curses!

  Timon shall go to the woods, where he will find

 
the nastiest beast is kinder than mankind.

  May the gods destroy–hear me, all you good gods–

  the Athenians, both inside and outside that wall;

  and allow, as Timon grows, for his hate to grow

  for the whole race of mankind, high and low!

  Amen.

  Enter FLAVIUS, with two or three Servants

  First Servant

  Hear you, master steward, where's our master?

  Are we undone? cast off? nothing remaining?

  Now then, master steward, where's our master?

  Are we finished? Thrown out? Is that it?

  FLAVIUS

  Alack, my fellows, what should I say to you?

  Let me be recorded by the righteous gods,

  I am as poor as you.

  Alas, my colleagues, what can I say?

  I swear by the just gods,

  I am as poor as you.

  First Servant

  Such a house broke!

  So noble a master fall'n! All gone! and not

  One friend to take his fortune by the arm,

  And go along with him!

  Such a great household destroyed!

  Such a noble master fallen? All gone! And not