The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

by William Shakespeare

  Varro's Second Servant

  My lord,--

  My Lord,–

  TIMON

  Tear me, take me, and the gods fall upon you!

  Tear me apart, take the pieces, and may the gods damn you!

  Exit

  HORTENSIUS

  'Faith, I perceive our masters may throw their caps

  at their money: these debts may well be called

  desperate ones, for a madman owes 'em.

  By heaven, I see that our masters can whistle

  for their money: these debts are certainly

  irrecoverable, because the money is owed by a madman.

  Exeunt

  Re-enter TIMON and FLAVIUS

  TIMON

  They have e'en put my breath from me, the slaves.

  Creditors? devils!

  They've put me quite out of breath, the slaves.

  Creditors? Devils!

  FLAVIUS

  My dear lord,--

  My dear lord,–

  TIMON

  What if it should be so?

  What if I did this?

  FLAVIUS

  My lord,--

  My lord–

  TIMON

  I'll have it so. My steward!

  I will do it. Steward!

  FLAVIUS

  Here, my lord.

  Here, my lord.

  TIMON

  So fitly? Go, bid all my friends again,

  Lucius, Lucullus, and Sempronius:

  All, sirrah, all:

  I'll once more feast the rascals.

  So handy? Go, summon all my friends again,

  Lucius, Lucullus and Sempronius:

  all of them, sir:

  I'll give the rascals another feast.

  FLAVIUS

  O my lord,

  You only speak from your distracted soul;

  There is not so much left, to furnish out

  A moderate table.

  Oh my lord,

  you're only speaking from anguish;

  there isn't enough left to lay on

  a modest meal.

  TIMON

  Be't not in thy care; go,

  I charge thee, invite them all: let in the tide

  Of knaves once more; my cook and I'll provide.

  Don't you worry about that; go,

  I order you, invite them all: let the flood

  of scoundrels in again; my cook and I will provide the food.

  Exeunt

  First Senator

  My lord, you have my voice to it; the fault's

  Bloody; 'tis necessary he should die:

  Nothing emboldens sin so much as mercy.

  My lord, you have my vote; it's a terrible

  offence; he has to die for it;

  nothing strengthens sin as much as being merciful.

  Second Senator

  Most true; the law shall bruise him.

  Very true; the law will crush him.

  Enter ALCIBIADES, with Attendants

  ALCIBIADES

  Honour, health, and compassion to the senate!

  Honour and health to the senate, and may they be merciful!

  First Senator

  Now, captain?

  What is it, captain?

  ALCIBIADES

  I am an humble suitor to your virtues;

  For pity is the virtue of the law,

  And none but tyrants use it cruelly.

  It pleases time and fortune to lie heavy

  Upon a friend of mine, who, in hot blood,

  Hath stepp'd into the law, which is past depth

  To those that, without heed, do plunge into 't.

  He is a man, setting his fate aside,

  Of comely virtues:

  Nor did he soil the fact with cowardice--

  An honour in him which buys out his fault--

  But with a noble fury and fair spirit,

  Seeing his reputation touch'd to death,

  He did oppose his foe:

  And with such sober and unnoted passion

  He did behave his anger, ere 'twas spent,

  As if he had but proved an argument.

  I am humbly petitioning your virtues;

  for pity is the virtue of the law,

  and only tyrants use it cruelly.

  Time and fate are heavily oppressing

  a friend of mine who, in anger,

  has come within the reach of the law,

  which is a bottomless pit for those

  who slip into it.

  Apart from this one act

  he is a good man:

  and he didn't behave badly out of cowardice-

  something which forgives his fault-

  but with noble anger and a good soul,

  seeing his reputation fatally insulted,

  he faced his enemy:

  he controlled his anger so soberly

  that it was as though he was simply making a point.

  First Senator

  You undergo too strict a paradox,

  Striving to make an ugly deed look fair:

  Your words have took such pains as if they labour'd

  To bring manslaughter into form and set quarrelling

  Upon the head of valour; which indeed

  Is valour misbegot and came into the world

  When sects and factions were newly born:

  He's truly valiant that can wisely suffer

  The worst that man can breathe, and make his wrongs

  His outsides, to wear them like his raiment,

  carelessly,

  And ne'er prefer his injuries to his heart,

  To bring it into danger.

  If wrongs be evils and enforce us kill,

  What folly 'tis to hazard life for ill!

  Your argument doesn't stand up,

  as you try to make an ugly deed acceptable:

  you talk as if manslaughter was just another

  element of discussion, and quarrelling

  part of courage; it is in fact

  twisted courage, which came into the world

  with sects and factions:

  the truly brave man tolerates

  the worst words men can throw at him,

  and wears the insults outside, like his clothes,

  and never takes the injuries to heart,

  and risks it being injured.

  If wrongs are evils that make us kill,

  how stupid to risk our lives for them!

  ALCIBIADES

  My lord,--

  My lord -

  First Senator

  You cannot make gross sins look clear:

  To revenge is no valour, but to bear.

  You can't make terrible sins seem innocent:

  taking revenge isn't bravery, toleration is.

  ALCIBIADES

  My lords, then, under favour, pardon me,

  If I speak like a captain.

  Why do fond men expose themselves to battle,

  And not endure all threats? sleep upon't,

  And let the foes quietly cut their throats,

  Without repugnancy? If there be

  Such valour in the bearing, what make we

  Abroad? why then, women are more valiant

  That stay at home, if bearing carry it,

  And the ass more captain than the lion, the felon

  Loaden with irons wiser than the judge,

  If wisdom be in suffering. O my lords,

  As you are great, be pitifully good:

  Who cannot condemn rashness in cold blood?

  To kill, I grant, is sin's extremest gust;

  But, in defence, by mercy, 'tis most just.

  To be in anger is impiety;

  But who is man that is not angry?

  Weigh but the crime with this.

  Then my lords, by your leave, forgive me

  if I speak like a soldier.

  Why do foolish men go to war,

  instead of putting up with threats? Why don't they sleep on it

/>   and let the enemies quietly cut their throats

  without fighting back? If there is

  such bravery in toleration, what are we doing

  abroad? Why then, women are braver

  for staying at home, bearing it,

  and the ass is a braver soldier than the lion,

  the criminal in irons is wiser than the judge,

  if it is wise to suffer. Oh my lords,

  just as you are great, show your goodness through pity:

  everyone can condemn a crime done in cold blood.

  To kill, I agree, is the worst of all sins;

  but in defence, the law mercifully allows it.

  To be angry is not pious;

  but what man is there who is not angry?

  Just think about the crime like that.

  Second Senator

  You breathe in vain.

  You're wasting your breath.

  ALCIBIADES

  In vain! his service done

  At Lacedaemon and Byzantium

  Were a sufficient briber for his life.

  Wasting! The service he performed

  at Lacedaemon and Byzantium

  should be enough to save his life.

  First Senator

  What's that?

  What's that?

  ALCIBIADES

  I say, my lords, he has done fair service,

  And slain in fight many of your enemies:

  How full of valour did he bear himself

  In the last conflict, and made plenteous wounds!

  I'm saying, my lords, he has served you well,

  and killed many of your enemies in battle:

  how bravely he conducted himself

  in the last conflict, and he caused plenty of wounds!

  Second Senator

  He has made too much plenty with 'em;

  He's a sworn rioter: he has a sin that often

  Drowns him, and takes his valour prisoner:

  If there were no foes, that were enough

  To overcome him: in that beastly fury

  He has been known to commit outrages,

  And cherish factions: 'tis inferr'd to us,

  His days are foul and his drink dangerous.

  He has done plenty too much;

  he is an habitual drunkard: he has a sin that often

  drowns him, and kidnaps his bravery:

  if there were no enemies, that sin would be enough

  to overcome him: in his drunken fury

  he has been known to commit outrages,

  and stir up dissent: we have heard it alleged

  that he lives a filthy life and is dangerous when drunk.

  First Senator

  He dies.

  He shall die.

  ALCIBIADES

  Hard fate! he might have died in war.

  My lords, if not for any parts in him--

  Though his right arm might purchase his own time

  And be in debt to none--yet, more to move you,

  Take my deserts to his, and join 'em both:

  And, for I know your reverend ages love

  Security, I'll pawn my victories, all

  My honours to you, upon his good returns.

  If by this crime he owes the law his life,

  Why, let the war receive 't in valiant gore

  For law is strict, and war is nothing more.

  A harsh fate! He might have died in battle.

  My lords, if you can't see any good qualities in him–

  though his efforts with the sword ought to be enough

  to save him on their own–but, to further persuade you,

  add my credit to his, join them together:

  and, as I know that in your revered age you love

  security, I'll pledge all my victories, all

  my honours, that he will make good for you.

  If this crime means he owes the law his life,

  then let the war take it in bloody bravery,

  for the law is strict, and the war is the same.

  First Senator

  We are for law: he dies; urge it no more,

  On height of our displeasure: friend or brother,

  He forfeits his own blood that spills another.

  We stand for the law: he shall die; stop arguing,

  or you will suffer our greatest displeasure: friend or brother,

  if you spill another's blood you lose your own.

  ALCIBIADES

  Must it be so? it must not be. My lords,

  I do beseech you, know me.

  Does it have to be this way? It mustn't be. My lords,

  I beg you, remember who I am.

  Second Senator

  How!

  What!

  ALCIBIADES

  Call me to your remembrances.

  Remember me.

  Third Senator

  What!

  What!

  ALCIBIADES

  I cannot think but your age has forgot me;

  It could not else be, I should prove so base,

  To sue, and be denied such common grace:

  My wounds ache at you.

  I can only imagine that you have forgotten me in your old age;

  that's the only explanation for me being so disrespected

  that I can ask, and be refused what any man should be given:

  my wounds ache to think of it.

  First Senator

  Do you dare our anger?

  'Tis in few words, but spacious in effect;

  We banish thee for ever.

  Do you dare to risk our anger?

  I'll give you a few little words, but they'll have a big effect;

  we banish you for ever.

  ALCIBIADES

  Banish me!

  Banish your dotage; banish usury,

  That makes the senate ugly.

  Banish me!

  Banish your senility, banish moneylending,

  that makes the Senate ugly!

  First Senator

  If, after two days' shine, Athens contain thee,

  Attend our weightier judgment. And, not to swell

  our spirit,

  He shall be executed presently.

  If you are still in Athens in two days from now

  prepare to get a worse sentence. And, in order not to

  increase our anger,

  he shall be executed shortly.

  Exeunt Senators

  ALCIBIADES

  Now the gods keep you old enough; that you may live

  Only in bone, that none may look on you!

  I'm worse than mad: I have kept back their foes,

  While they have told their money and let out

  Their coin upon large interest, I myself

  Rich only in large hurts. All those for this?

  Is this the balsam that the usuring senate

  Pours into captains' wounds? Banishment!

  It comes not ill; I hate not to be banish'd;

  It is a cause worthy my spleen and fury,

  That I may strike at Athens. I'll cheer up

  My discontented troops, and lay for hearts.

  'Tis honour with most lands to be at odds;

  Soldiers should brook as little wrongs as gods.

  Exit

  Now may the gods make you live so long that you become

  like skeletons, and nobody looks at you!

  I'm worse than mad: I kept back their enemies,

  while they counted their money, and lent out

  their cash at high interest; I myself

  am only rich with great wounds. All of those, for this?

  Is this the medicine that the moneylending Senate

  applies to the wounds of captains? Banishment!

  It's no bad thing. I don't hate being banished;

  it gives me a cause to be angry

  and attack Athens. I'll rally

  my discontented troops, and win over people's hearts.

  One's honour is counted by the numb
er of countries one has fought;

  soldiers should endure wrongs no more than gods should.

  Music. Tables set out: Servants attending. Enter divers Lords, Senators and others, at several doors

  First Lord

  The good time of day to you, sir.

  A very good day to you, sir.

  Second Lord

  I also wish it to you. I think this honourable lord

  did but try us this other day.

  And the same to you. I think this honourable lord

  put this before us just the other day.

  First Lord

  Upon that were my thoughts tiring, when we

  encountered: I hope it is not so low with him as

  he made it seem in the trial of his several friends.

  I was just musing on that, when we

  met: I hope he hasn't sunk so low as

  he made it appear in the trial of some of his friends.

  Second Lord

  It should not be, by the persuasion of his new feasting.

  He shouldn’t have, on the evidence of the feasts he's been giving.

  First Lord

  I should think so: he hath sent me an earnest

  inviting, which many my near occasions did urge me

  to put off; but he hath conjured me beyond them, and

  I must needs appear.

  I should imagine so: he sent me an earnest

  invitation, which my many important engagements

  made me want to decline; but he begged me so much

  that I have to go.

  Second Lord

  In like manner was I in debt to my importunate

  business, but he would not hear my excuse. I am