The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

by William Shakespeare

  is boundless, and the act a slave to limit.

  Nothing, except our promises when we vow to weep seas,

  live in fire, eat rocks, tame tigers; we think it's harder for our

  mistress to invent difficult enough tasks for us rather than for us

  to face any difficulty. This is the terrible thing in love, lady, that

  desire is infinite, but exercising it has limitations; desire knows

  no boundaries, but physically there are limits.

  CRESSIDA.

  They say all lovers swear more performance than they are

  able, and yet reserve an ability that they never perform; vowing

  more than the perfection of ten, and discharging less than the

  tenth part of one. They that have the voice of lions and the act

  of hares, are they not monsters?

  They say all lovers promise to do more than they are

  able, and yet they always hold something back; they promise

  to be more perfect than ten men, but in practice they can't match

  a tenth of one. People who roar like lions and act like hares,

  aren't they monsters?

  TROILUS.

  Are there such? Such are not we. Praise us as we are

  tasted, allow us as we prove; our head shall go bare till merit

  crown it. No perfection in reversion shall have a praise in

  present. We will not name desert before his birth; and, being

  born, his addition shall be humble. Few words to fair faith:

  Troilus shall be such to Cressid as what envy can say worst shall

  be a mock for his truth; and what truth can speak truest not

  truer than Troilus.

  Are the people like that? I'm not. Give me my due praise according

  to what you find; my head will be bare until you say it deserves

  the crown. I don't ask for praise now for things I will do

  in the future. I won't christen the baby before it's born, and when it is,

  I shall be modest, I won't tempt fate. A few words to show the truth:

  Troilus shall treat Cressida in such a way that the worst that the

  envious could do would be to mock him for his fidelity; and the truest

  speech of Truth himself will not be greater than the truth of Troilus.

  CRESSIDA.

  Will you walk in, my lord?

  Will you come in, my lord?

  Re-enter PANDARUS

  PANDARUS.

  What, blushing still? Have you not done talking yet?

  What, blushing still? Haven't you done talking yet?

  CRESSIDA.

  Well, uncle, what folly I commit, I dedicate to you.

  Well, uncle, whatever foolishness I get up to, I'll put it down to you.

  PANDARUS.

  I thank you for that; if my lord get a boy of you, you'll

  give him me. Be true to my lord; if he flinch, chide me for it.

  Thank you for that; if my lord gets you pregnant with a boy,

  you'll give him to me. Be true to my lord; if he wavers, blame me for it.

  TROILUS.

  You know now your hostages: your uncle's word and my firm

  faith.

  Now you know your guarantees: you have your uncle's word and my

  unwavering loyalty.

  PANDARUS.

  Nay, I'll give my word for her too: our kindred, though

  they be long ere they are wooed, they are constant being won;

  they are burs, I can tell you; they'll stick where they are

  thrown.

  No, I'll guarantee her too: our family, though

  they take a long time to be wooed, they are faithful once they are won;

  they are like burrs, I can tell you; they stick where they are thrown.

  CRESSIDA.

  Boldness comes to me now and brings me heart.

  Prince Troilus, I have lov'd you night and day

  For many weary months.

  I feel bolder now and more courageous.

  Prince Troilus, I have loved you night and day

  for many long months.

  TROILUS.

  Why was my Cressid then so hard to win?

  Then why was my Cressida so hard to win?

  CRESSIDA.

  Hard to seem won; but I was won, my lord,

  With the first glance that ever-pardon me.

  If I confess much, you will play the tyrant.

  I love you now; but till now not so much

  But I might master it. In faith, I lie;

  My thoughts were like unbridled children, grown

  Too headstrong for their mother. See, we fools!

  Why have I blabb'd? Who shall be true to us,

  When we are so unsecret to ourselves?

  But, though I lov'd you well, I woo'd you not;

  And yet, good faith, I wish'd myself a man,

  Or that we women had men's privilege

  Of speaking first. Sweet, bid me hold my tongue,

  For in this rapture I shall surely speak

  The thing I shall repent. See, see, your silence,

  Cunning in dumbness, from my weakness draws

  My very soul of counsel. Stop my mouth.

  I made it hard to see that I was won, but I was won, my lord,

  the first time you ever looked at–excuse me.

  If I admit too much, you will lord it over me.

  I love you now; but up until now not so much

  that I couldn't control it. Actually, I'm lying;

  my thoughts were like undisciplined children,

  too much for their mother to control. Look, what fools we are!

  Why have I spilled the beans? Who will keep our secrets,

  when we can't keep them ourselves?

  But, though I loved you greatly, I did not pursue you;

  and yet, I swear, I wished that I was a man,

  or that we women had the same right as men

  to speak first. Dearest, tell me to hold my tongue,

  for in my delirious joy I will surely say

  something I shall regret. Look, look, your silence,

  cunning in its dumbness, is using my weakness

  to get my deepest thoughts out of me. Stop my mouth.

  TROILUS.

  And shall, albeit sweet music issues thence.

  And I shall, although sweet music is coming from it.

  PANDARUS.

  Pretty, i' faith.

  That's sweet, I must say.

  CRESSIDA.

  My lord, I do beseech you, pardon me;

  'Twas not my purpose thus to beg a kiss.

  I am asham'd. O heavens! what have I done?

  For this time will I take my leave, my lord.

  My Lord, I beg you to pardon me;

  I didn't mean to beg a kiss like that.

  I am ashamed. O heavens! What have I done?

  I will leave you for now, my lord.

  TROILUS.

  Your leave, sweet Cressid?

  You're leaving, sweet Cressida?

  PANDARUS.

  Leave! An you take leave till to-morrow morning-

  Leave! There will be time enough for leaving tomorrow morning–

  CRESSIDA.

  Pray you, content you.

  Enough of that, thank you.

  TROILUS.

  What offends you, lady?

  What don't you like, lady?

  CRESSIDA.

  Sir, mine own company.

  Sir, my own company.

  TROILUS.

  You cannot shun yourself.

  You can't reject yourself.

  CRESSIDA.

  Let me go and try.

  I have a kind of self resides with you;

  But an unkind self, that itself will leave

  To be another's fool. I would be gone.

  Where is my wit? I know not what I speak.

  Let me go and try.

  Par
t of me wants to stay with you;

  but another part of me rebels and says

  it doesn't want to be another's fool. I will go.

  Have I lost my mind? I don't know what to say.

  TROILUS.

  Well know they what they speak that speak so wisely.

  Those who speak so wisely must know what they are saying.

  CRESSIDA.

  Perchance, my lord, I show more craft than love;

  And fell so roundly to a large confession

  To angle for your thoughts; but you are wise-

  Or else you love not; for to be wise and love

  Exceeds man's might; that dwells with gods above.

  Perhaps, my lord, you think I show more cunning than love;

  and gave such a free and open account of my feelings

  to try and discover your thoughts; but you are wise–

  or to put it another way you don't love me;no man can be

  wise and in love at the same time; only the gods can do that.

  TROILUS.

  O that I thought it could be in a woman-

  As, if it can, I will presume in you-

  To feed for aye her lamp and flames of love;

  To keep her constancy in plight and youth,

  Outliving beauty's outward, with a mind

  That doth renew swifter than blood decays!

  Or that persuasion could but thus convince me

  That my integrity and truth to you

  Might be affronted with the match and weight

  Of such a winnowed purity in love.

  How were I then uplifted! but, alas,

  I am as true as truth's simplicity,

  And simpler than the infancy of truth.

  Oh, I wish that it could be true that women–

  and if it's true of any this will definitely be true of you–

  could for ever keep her love light burning,

  staying as loving as the first day she promised when young,

  lasting longer than mere looks, with a mind

  for love which grows faster than passion fades!

  Or that something could convince me

  that my faithfulness and loyalty to you

  could be matched with the same amount

  of such refined and pure love.

  How wonderful that would be! But, alas,

  I am as true as simple truth itself,

  more innocent than Adam before the fall.

  CRESSIDA.

  In that I'll war with you.

  I'll argue that point with you.

  TROILUS.

  O virtuous fight,

  When right with right wars who shall be most right!

  True swains in love shall in the world to come

  Approve their truth by Troilus, when their rhymes,

  Full of protest, of oath, and big compare,

  Want similes, truth tir'd with iteration-

  As true as steel, as plantage to the moon,

  As sun to day, as turtle to her mate,

  As iron to adamant, as earth to th' centre-

  Yet, after all comparisons of truth,

  As truth's authentic author to be cited,

  'As true as Troilus' shall crown up the verse

  And sanctify the numbers.

  This is a virtuous fight,

  when two who are right battle to see who is most right!

  In the future true lovers shall use Troilus

  as their example of fidelity, when their poems,

  full of declarations, of promises, and great comparisons,

  need similes, tired of repeating the truth–

  ‘as true as steel, as fertile as the moon,

  like sun to day, like a turtle to her mate,

  like iron to a magnet, like the Earth to its centre–’

  but, after all these illustrative similes,

  in order to be shown as writing the truth,

  ‘as true as Troilus’ shall end the verse

  and make the whole thing true.

  CRESSIDA.

  Prophet may you be!

  If I be false, or swerve a hair from truth,

  When time is old and hath forgot itself,

  When waterdrops have worn the stones of Troy,

  And blind oblivion swallow'd cities up,

  And mighty states characterless are grated

  To dusty nothing-yet let memory

  From false to false, among false maids in love,

  Upbraid my falsehood when th' have said 'As false

  As air, as water, wind, or sandy earth,

  As fox to lamb, or to heifer's calf,

  Pard to the hind, or stepdame to her son'-

  Yea, let them say, to stick the heart of falsehood,

  'As false as Cressid.'

  May your prediction come true!

  If I am false, or deviate an inch from the truth,

  when all recorded time is over,

  when the raindrops have worn down the stones of Troy,

  and all the cities have been forgotten,

  and great states are nameless, ground down

  to dust–may the memory of my falsehood

  still be fresh amongst false maids in love,

  and reprimand my falsehood when they have said ‘as false

  as air, as water, wind, or sandy earth,

  as the fox to the lamb, or to the heifer's calf,

  the leopard to the deer, or the stepmother to her son’–

  then let them say, to really prove that someone is false,

  ‘As false as Cressida.’

  PANDARUS.

  Go to, a bargain made; seal it, seal it; I'll be the

  witness. Here I hold your hand; here my cousin's. If ever you

  prove false one to another, since I have taken such pains to

  bring you together, let all pitiful goers-between be call'd to

  the world's end after my name-call them all Pandars; let all

  constant men be Troiluses, all false women Cressids, and all

  brokers between Pandars. Say 'Amen.'

  Come on then, that's a bargain; seal it, seal it; I'll be the

  witness. Here I take your hand; here I take my cousin's. If you ever

  prove false to each other, let all the pitiful go-betweens be called

  Pandars until the end of time; let all true men be called Troilus,

  all false women Cressida, and all the go-betweens Pandars.

  Say ‘Amen.’

  TROILUS.

  Amen.

  Amen.

  CRESSIDA.

  Amen.

  Amen.

  PANDARUS.

  Amen. Whereupon I will show you a chamber

  and a bed; which bed, because it shall not speak of your

  pretty encounters, press it to death. Away!

  And Cupid grant all tongue-tied maidens here,

  Bed, chamber, pander, to provide this gear!

  Amen. And now I will show you a room

  and a bed; because this bed will never speak of your

  lovely meeting, torture it as much as you like. Off you go!

  And may Cupid give all the shy virgins here

  a bed, a room and a go-between to provide them!

  Exeunt

  Flourish. Enter AGAMEMNON, ULYSSES, DIOMEDES, NESTOR, AJAX,

  MENELAUS, and CALCHAS

  CALCHAS.

  Now, Princes, for the service I have done,

  Th' advantage of the time prompts me aloud

  To call for recompense. Appear it to your mind

  That, through the sight I bear in things to come,

  I have abandon'd Troy, left my possession,

  Incurr'd a traitor's name, expos'd myself

  From certain and possess'd conveniences

  To doubtful fortunes, sequest'ring from me all

  That time, acquaintance, custom, and condition,

  Made tame and most familiar to my nature;

  And here, to do you service, am becomer />
  As new into the world, strange, unacquainted-

  I do beseech you, as in way of taste,

  To give me now a little benefit

  Out of those many regist'red in promise,

  Which you say live to come in my behalf.

  Now, Princes, for the services I have performed,

  this seems to me the right time

  to ask for reward. I ask you to remember

  that, because of what I can see in the future,

  I have abandoned Troy, left my property,

  taken the name of traitor, and gone from

  solid comforts which I owned

  to a doubtful future, cutting myself off from all

  the things that time, acquaintance, custom and rank

  had made most comfortable and familiar to me;

  and here, in order to serve you, I have become

  like a newborn baby, foreign, friendless–

  I beg you, as a foretaste,

  to now give me a little something

  from all the things you have promised,

  which you say will come to me in the future.

  AGAMEMNON.

  What wouldst thou of us, Troyan? Make demand.

  What do you want from us, Trojan? Ask.

  CALCHAS.

  You have a Troyan prisoner call'd Antenor,

  Yesterday took; Troy holds him very dear.

  Oft have you-often have you thanks therefore-

  Desir'd my Cressid in right great exchange,

  Whom Troy hath still denied; but this Antenor,

  I know, is such a wrest in their affairs

  That their negotiations all must slack

  Wanting his manage; and they will almost

  Give us a prince of blood, a son of Priam,

  In change of him. Let him be sent, great Princes,

  And he shall buy my daughter; and her presence

  Shall quite strike off all service I have done