The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)
Page 671
by Jove, I shall hunt you down
with all my strength, speed and cunning.
AENEAS.
And thou shalt hunt a lion, that will fly
With his face backward. In humane gentleness,
Welcome to Troy! now, by Anchises' life,
Welcome indeed! By Venus' hand I swear
No man alive can love in such a sort
The thing he means to kill, more excellently.
And you shall be hunting a lion, that will fly
facing backwards. In the name of polite brotherhood,
welcome to Troy!Now, on my father's life,
you are very welcome! I swear by the hand of Venus
there isn't a man alive who can love the thing
that he plans to kill as much as I do.
DIOMEDES.
We sympathise. Jove let Aeneas live,
If to my sword his fate be not the glory,
A thousand complete courses of the sun!
But in mine emulous honour let him die
With every joint a wound, and that to-morrow!
I feel the same. If Aeneas isn't destined to
glorify my sword by dying on it, then may Jove
let him live a thousand years!
But my rivalry for glory makes me wish that he would die
with a wound in every joint, and that it would happen tomorrow!
AENEAS.
We know each other well.
We understand each other well.
DIOMEDES.
We do; and long to know each other worse.
We do; and we long to understand each other badly.
PARIS.
This is the most despiteful'st gentle greeting
The noblest hateful love, that e'er I heard of.
What business, lord, so early?
This is the most contemptuous gentle greeting,
the noblest hateful love, that I ever heard of.
Why are you up so early, my lord?
AENEAS.
I was sent for to the King; but why, I know not.
The king sent for me, but I don't know why.
PARIS.
His purpose meets you: 'twas to bring this Greek
To Calchas' house, and there to render him,
For the enfreed Antenor, the fair Cressid.
Let's have your company; or, if you please,
Haste there before us. I constantly believe-
Or rather call my thought a certain knowledge-
My brother Troilus lodges there to-night.
Rouse him and give him note of our approach,
With the whole quality wherefore; I fear
We shall be much unwelcome.
The reason is in front of you: it was to bring this Greek
to Calchas' house, and there to hand over to him,
in exchange for Antenor, the lovely Cressida.
Come along with us, or, if you like,
hurry there before us. I certainly think–
or actually you can say I am absolutely certain–
that my brother Troilus is staying there tonight.
Wake him and tell him that we are coming,
and tell him all about why; I fear
we will be very unwelcome.
AENEAS.
That I assure you:
Troilus had rather Troy were borne to Greece
Than Cressid borne from Troy.
I can promise you that:
Troilus would rather have Troy given to Greece
than Cressida taken from Troy.
PARIS.
There is no help;
The bitter disposition of the time
Will have it so. On, lord; we'll follow you.
It can't be helped;
these terrible times
insist on it. Go on, lord; we'll follow you.
AENEAS.
Good morrow, all.
Good day, all.
Exit with servant
PARIS.
And tell me, noble Diomed-faith, tell me true,
Even in the soul of sound good-fellowship-
Who in your thoughts deserves fair Helen best,
Myself or Menelaus?
So tell me, noble Diomed, by heavens, tell me truly,
absolutely in the spirit of good friendship,
who, to your mind, deserves fair heaven most,
me or Menelaus?
DIOMEDES.
Both alike:
He merits well to have her that doth seek her,
Not making any scruple of her soilure,
With such a hell of pain and world of charge;
And you as well to keep her that defend her,
Not palating the taste of her dishonour,
With such a costly loss of wealth and friends.
He like a puling cuckold would drink up
The lees and dregs of a flat tamed piece;
You, like a lecher, out of whorish loins
Are pleas'd to breed out your inheritors.
Both merits pois'd, each weighs nor less nor more;
But he as he, the heavier for a whore.
Both the same.
The one who has looked for her, not caring about
the fact that she has slept with another, or that
there has been so much suffering and expense, deserves her;
and you deserve just as much to keep her as you defend her,
seeming not to notice her dishonour,
with such a costly loss of wealth and friends.
He, like a whining cuckold, wants to drink up the dregs,
get back to himself a used woman;
you, like a dirty fornicator, don't mind breeding
your children from a whore's belly.
You both deserve her equally, neither has a stronger case,
both the same. But who will feel guiltier about having a whore?
PARIS.
You are too bitter to your country-woman.
You are too bitter towards your countrywoman.
DIOMEDES.
She's bitter to her country. Hear me, Paris:
For every false drop in her bawdy veins
A Grecian's life hath sunk; for every scruple
Of her contaminated carrion weight
A Troyan hath been slain; since she could speak,
She hath not given so many good words breath
As for her Greeks and Troyans suff'red death.
She is bitter to her country. Listen to me, Paris:
for every drop of blood in her lusty veins
a Greek has lost his life; for every tiny part
of the weight of her rotting carcass
a Trojan has been killed; since she learned to speak
she has not spoken as many words as the number
of Greeks and Trojanswho have died for her.
PARIS.
Fair Diomed, you do as chapmen do,
Dispraise the thing that you desire to buy;
But we in silence hold this virtue well:
We'll not commend what we intend to sell.
Here lies our way.
Good Diomedes,, you're doing what merchants do,
running down the thing that you want to buy.
But we won't do the same thing;
we won't praise what we mean to get a high price for.
This is our way.
Exeunt
Enter TROILUS and CRESSIDA
TROILUS.
Dear, trouble not yourself; the morn is cold.
Dearest, don't let's get up. The morning is cold.
CRESSIDA.
Then, sweet my lord, I'll call mine uncle down;
He shall unbolt the gates.
Then, my sweet lord, I'll call my uncle down;
he shall unbolt the gates.
TROILUS.
Trouble him not;
To bed, to bed! Sleep kill those pretty eyes,
And give as soft attachment to thy senses
A
s infants' empty of all thought!
Don't bother him;
come back to bed! Close those pretty eyes in sleep,
and empty your mind of thought,
be like a child!
CRESSIDA.
Good morrow, then.
Good day to you, then.
TROILUS.
I prithee now, to bed.
Please, go to bed.
CRESSIDA.
Are you aweary of me?
Are you tired of me?
TROILUS.
O Cressida! but that the busy day,
Wak'd by the lark, hath rous'd the ribald crows,
And dreaming night will hide our joys no longer,
I would not from thee.
Oh Cressida! If it weren't for the fact that the day,
awoken by the lark, has aroused the raucous crows,
and that the dreaming night will no longer keep our pleasures secret,
I wouldn't leave you.
CRESSIDA.
Night hath been too brief.
The night has been too short.
TROILUS.
Beshrew the witch! with venomous wights she stays
As tediously as hell, but flies the grasps of love
With wings more momentary-swift than thought.
You will catch cold, and curse me.
Dam the witch! With those who are evil spirited she stays
eternally, but she flies away from love
with wings as swift as thought.
You will catch cold, and curse me.
CRESSIDA.
Prithee tarry.
You men will never tarry.
O foolish Cressid! I might have still held off,
And then you would have tarried. Hark! there's one up.
Please stay,
you men never stay.
O foolish Cressida! I might still have waited,
and then you would have stayed. Listen! Someone is up.
PANDARUS.
[Within] What's all the doors open here?
Why are all the doors open here?
TROILUS.
It is your uncle.
It is your uncle.
Enter PANDARUS
CRESSIDA.
A pestilence on him! Now will he be mocking.
I shall have such a life!
Damnation to him! Now he will mock me.
I shall have such a time of it!
PANDARUS.
How now, how now! How go maidenheads?
Here, you maid! Where's my cousin Cressid?
Hello there, hello there! What price for virginity?
Hey, you girl! Where's my cousin Cressida?
CRESSIDA.
Go hang yourself, you naughty mocking uncle.
You bring me to do, and then you flout me too.
Go and hang yourself, you naughty mocking uncle.
You encourage me to do this, and now you mock me for it.
PANDARUS.
To do what? to do what? Let her say what.
What have I brought you to do?
To do what? To do what? Let her tell me what.
What have I encouraged you to do?
CRESSIDA.
Come, come, beshrew your heart! You'll ne'er be good,
Nor suffer others.
Enough of this, curses on your heart! You've got such a dirty mind,
you can't believe anyone else is different.
PANDARUS.
Ha, ha! Alas, poor wretch! a poor capocchia! hast not
slept to-night? Would he not, a naughty man, let it sleep? A
bugbear take him!
Ha, ha! Alas, poor wretch! Poor simpleton! Haven’t you
slept tonight? Wouldn't that naughty man let you sleep? May
a goblin take him away!
CRESSIDA.
Did not I tell you? Would he were knock'd i' th' head!
[One knocks]
Who's that at door? Good uncle, go and see.
My lord, come you again into my chamber.
You smile and mock me, as if I meant naughtily.
What did I say? I wish someone would bash him on the head!
[Somebody knocks]
Who's that at the door? Good uncle, go and see.
My lord, you come back into my bedroom.
You smile and laugh at me, as if I had naughty intentions.
TROILUS.
Ha! ha!
Ha! Ha!
CRESSIDA.
Come, you are deceiv'd, I think of no such thing.
[Knock]
How earnestly they knock! Pray you come in:
I would not for half Troy have you seen here.
Come, you are mistaken, I'm thinking of no such thing.
[Knock]
How persistently they knock! Please come in:
I wouldn't want have you seen here for half of Troy.
Exeunt TROILUS and CRESSIDA
PANDARUS.
Who's there? What's the matter? Will you beat down the
door? How now? What's the matter?
Who's there? What's the matter? Do you want to knock down the
door? What's going on? What's the matter?
Enter AENEAS
AENEAS.
Good morrow, lord, good morrow.
Good day to you, lord, good day.
PANDARUS.
Who's there? My lord Aeneas? By my troth,
I knew you not. What news with you so early?
Who's that? My lord Aeneas? I swear,
I didn't know it was you. What brings you here so early?
AENEAS.
Is not Prince Troilus here?
Isn't Prince Troilus here?
PANDARUS.
Here! What should he do here?
Here! What would he be doing here?
AENEAS.
Come, he is here, my lord; do not deny him.
It doth import him much to speak with me.
Come, he is here, my lord; don't deny it.
It's very important that he should speak with me.
PANDARUS.
Is he here, say you? It's more than I know, I'll be
sworn. For my own part, I came in late. What should he do here?
He's here, you say? That's more than I know, I'll
swear. As for me, I came in late. What would he be doing here?
AENEAS.
Who!-nay, then. Come, come, you'll do him wrong ere you are
ware; you'll be so true to him to be false to him. Do not you
know of him, but yet go fetch him hither; go.
What!–No, then. Come, come, you'll do him harm without
knowing it; your loyalty will actually make you disloyal. You can say you
don't know he's here, but still, go and get him; go.
Re-enter TROILUS
TROILUS.
How now! What's the matter?
What's this! What's the matter?
AENEAS.
My lord, I scarce have leisure to salute you,
My matter is so rash. There is at hand
Paris your brother, and Deiphobus,
The Grecian Diomed, and our Antenor
Deliver'd to us; and for him forthwith,
Ere the first sacrifice, within this hour,
We must give up to Diomedes' hand
The Lady Cressida.
My Lord, I hardly have time to greet you,
my business is so urgent. Nearby there is
Paris your brother, and Deiphobus,
the Greek Diomedes, and our Antenor
returned to us; and in return for him at once,
before the first sacrifice has been made, within the hour,
we must hand over the lady Cressida
to Diomedes.
TROILUS.
Is it so concluded?
This is what's been decided?
AENEAS.
By Priam, and the general state of Troy.
They are at hand and ready to effect it.
By Priam, and the general assembly of Troy.
They are almost here and ready to carry out the order.
TROILUS.
How my achievements mock me!
I will go meet them; and, my lord Aeneas,
We met by chance; you did not find me here.
How the fates mock what I have done!
I will go and meet them; and, my lord Aeneas,
we met by chance; you did not find me here.
AENEAS.
Good, good, my lord, the secrets of nature
Have not more gift in taciturnity.
Very well, my good lord, nature won't reveal her mysteries
any slower than I will give up your secret.
Exeunt TROILUS and AENEAS
PANDARUS.
Is't possible? No sooner got but lost? The devil take
Antenor! The young prince will go mad. A plague upon Antenor! I
would they had broke's neck.
Is this possible? No sooner does he get than lose her? Damnation to
Antenor! The young prince will go mad. A plague upon Antenor! I
wish they had broken his neck.
Re-enter CRESSIDA
CRESSIDA.
How now! What's the matter? Who was here?
Hello there! What's the matter?Who was here?
PANDARUS.
Ah, ah!
Ah, ah!