The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)
Page 676
Give me your hand.
Give me your hand.
ULYSSES.
[Aside to TROILUS] Follow his torch; he goes to
Calchas' tent; I'll keep you company.
Follow his torch; he's going to
Calchas' tent; I'll keep you company.
TROILUS.
Sweet sir, you honour me.
Sweet sir, you honour me.
HECTOR.
And so, good night.
And so, good night.
Exit DIOMEDES; ULYSSES and TROILUS following
ACHILLES.
Come, come, enter my tent.
Come on, come into my tent.
Exeunt all but THERSITES
THERSITES.
That same Diomed's a false-hearted rogue, a most unjust
knave; I will no more trust him when he leers than I will a
serpent when he hisses. He will spend his mouth and promise, like
Brabbler the hound; but when he performs, astronomers foretell
it: it is prodigious, there will come some change; the sun
borrows of the moon when Diomed keeps his word. I will rather
leave to see Hector than not to dog him. They say he keeps a
Troyan drab, and uses the traitor Calchas' tent. I'll after.
Nothing but lechery! All incontinent varlets!
Exit
That Diomedes is a false hearted scoundrel, a most dishonest
knave; I wouldn't trust him when he smiles any more than I trust
a snake when he hisses. He gives plenty of promises, like a
dog that's always barking; but when he actually makes good on them,
astrologers know it's going to happen: it's amazing, there must be a big change;
the sun gets light from the moon when Diomedes keeps his word. I would rather
not see Hector than miss the chance to follow him.
They say he has a Trojan tart, and uses the traitor Calchas' tent. I'll follow.
Nothing but lechery! What a bunch of randy scoundrels!
Enter DIOMEDES
DIOMEDES.
What, are you up here, ho? Speak.
Hello, is there anyone about? Speak.
CALCHAS.
[Within] Who calls?
Who's calling?
DIOMEDES.
Diomed. Calchas, I think. Where's your daughter?
Diomedes. That's Calchas, isn't it. Where's your daughter?
CALCHAS.
[Within] She comes to you.
She's coming to you.
Enter TROILUS and ULYSSES, at a distance; after them
THERSITES
ULYSSES.
Stand where the torch may not discover us.
Stand where they can't see the torch.
Enter CRESSIDA
TROILUS.
Cressid comes forth to him.
Cressida'scome out to him.
DIOMEDES.
How now, my charge!
Hello there, my charge!
CRESSIDA.
Now, my sweet guardian! Hark, a word with you.
[Whispers]
Hello, my sweet guardian! Listen, a word with you.
TROILUS.
Yea, so familiar!
Look, so familiar!
ULYSSES.
She will sing any man at first sight.
She attracts any man who sees her.
THERSITES.
And any man may sing her, if he can take her clef;
she's noted.
And any man can play with her, if he knows her key;
she is notorious for it.
DIOMEDES.
Will you remember?
Will you remember?
CRESSIDA.
Remember? Yes.
Remember? Yes.
DIOMEDES.
Nay, but do, then;
And let your mind be coupled with your words.
Well, make sure you do then;
and do as you said.
TROILUS.
What shall she remember?
What’s he referring to?
ULYSSES.
List!
Listen!
CRESSIDA.
Sweet honey Greek, tempt me no more to folly.
You sweet as honey Greek, stop trying to tempt me to sin.
THERSITES.
Roguery!
Treachery!
DIOMEDES.
Nay, then-
No, then–
CRESSIDA.
I'll tell you what-
I'll tell you what–
DIOMEDES.
Fo, fo! come, tell a pin; you are a forsworn-
Enough! Don't trifle with me; you have promised–
CRESSIDA.
In faith, I cannot. What would you have me do?
I swear, I can't. What you want me to do?
THERSITES.
A juggling trick, to be secretly open.
A juggling trick, being a tart while seeming modest.
DIOMEDES.
What did you swear you would bestow on me?
What did you swear you would give me?
CRESSIDA.
I prithee, do not hold me to mine oath;
Bid me do anything but that, sweet Greek.
Please, don't hold me to my oath;
tell me to do anything but that, sweet Greek.
DIOMEDES.
Good night.
Good night.
TROILUS.
Hold, patience!
Stop there!
ULYSSES.
How now, Troyan!
What's this, Trojan!
CRESSIDA.
Diomed!
Diomedes!
DIOMEDES.
No, no, good night; I'll be your fool no more.
No, no, good night; I won't be your fool any more.
TROILUS.
Thy better must.
I expect better men will.
CRESSIDA.
Hark! a word in your ear.
Listen! Let me have a word.
TROILUS.
O plague and madness!
Oh plague and madness!
ULYSSES.
You are moved, Prince; let us depart, I pray,
Lest your displeasure should enlarge itself
To wrathful terms. This place is dangerous;
The time right deadly; I beseech you, go.
You are upset, Prince; let's go, please,
in case your displeasure should lead
to anopen quarrel. This place is dangerous;
it's a perilous time; I beg you, go.
TROILUS.
Behold, I pray you.
Watch, please.
ULYSSES.
Nay, good my lord, go off;
You flow to great distraction; come, my lord.
No, my good lord, let's go;
this is making you mad; come on, my lord.
TROILUS.
I prithee stay.
I ask you to stay.
ULYSSES.
You have not patience; come.
You won't be able to control yourself; come on.
TROILUS.
I pray you, stay; by hell and all hell's torments,
I will not speak a word.
Please, stay; I swear by hell and all its tortures,
I won't say a word.
DIOMEDES.
And so, good night.
And so, good night.
CRESSIDA.
Nay, but you part in anger.
No, but you're leaving angry.
TROILUS.
Doth that grieve thee? O withered truth!
Does that upset you? How your honesty has gone!
ULYSSES.
How now, my lord?
What's this, my lord?
TROILUS.
By Jove, I will be patient.
I swear, I will be calm.
CRESSIDA.
Guardian! Why, Greek!
Guardian!
Why, Greek!
DIOMEDES.
Fo, fo! adieu! you palter.
Whatever! Goodbye! You're messing me around.
CRESSIDA.
In faith, I do not. Come hither once again.
I swear, I'm not. Please come back here.
ULYSSES.
You shake, my lord, at something; will you go?
You will break out.
You’re shaking, my lord, at something; will you go?
You will explode.
TROILUS.
She strokes his cheek.
She's stroking his cheek.
ULYSSES.
Come, come.
Come, come.
TROILUS.
Nay, stay; by Jove, I will not speak a word:
There is between my will and all offences
A guard of patience. Stay a little while.
No, stay; by Jove, I won't say a word:
my self-control will stop me following
my anger. Stay a little while.
THERSITES.
How the devil luxury, with his fat rump and potato
finger, tickles these together! Fry, lechery, fry!
How the devil lechery, with his fat behind and
tickling fingers, winds these people up! Burn, lechery, burn!
DIOMEDES.
But will you, then?
So will you do it?
CRESSIDA.
In faith, I will, lo; never trust me else.
I promise I will; otherwise never trust me.
DIOMEDES.
Give me some token for the surety of it.
Give me some token to prove it.
CRESSIDA.
I'll fetch you one.
I'll get one for you.
Exit
ULYSSES.
You have sworn patience.
You have sworn to be calm.
TROILUS.
Fear me not, my lord;
I will not be myself, nor have cognition
Of what I feel. I am all patience.
Don't worry about me, my lord;
I won't be myself, or acknowledge
my feelings. I am all calm.
Re-enter CRESSIDA
THERSITES.
Now the pledge; now, now, now!
Now the promise; now, now, now!
CRESSIDA.
Here, Diomed, keep this sleeve.
Here, Diomedes, keep this cuff.
TROILUS.
O beauty! where is thy faith?
O beauty! Where is your loyalty?
ULYSSES.
My lord!
My Lord!
TROILUS.
I will be patient; outwardly I will.
I will be calm; on the outside I will.
CRESSIDA.
You look upon that sleeve; behold it well.
He lov'd me-O false wench!-Give't me again.
You're looking at that cuff; examine it well.
He loved me–you false girl!–Give it back to me.
DIOMEDES.
Whose was't?
Who's was it?
CRESSIDA.
It is no matter, now I ha't again.
I will not meet with you to-morrow night.
I prithee, Diomed, visit me no more.
It doesn't matter, now I have it back.
I won't meet you tomorrow night.
Please, Diomedes, never visit me again.
THERSITES.
Now she sharpens. Well said, whetstone.
Now she's getting sharper. Well said, sharpener.
DIOMEDES.
I shall have it.
I shall have it.
CRESSIDA.
What, this?
What, this?
DIOMEDES.
Ay, that.
Yes, that.
CRESSIDA.
O all you gods! O pretty, pretty pledge!
Thy master now lies thinking on his bed
Of thee and me, and sighs, and takes my glove,
And gives memorial dainty kisses to it,
As I kiss thee. Nay, do not snatch it from me;
He that takes that doth take my heart withal.
Oh all you gods! Oh this pretty token!
Your master is now lying on his bed thinking
about you and me, and is sighing, taking my glove,
and giving little kisses of remembrance to it,
as I kiss you. No, do not snatch it from me;
if you take that you take my heart as well.
DIOMEDES.
I had your heart before; this follows it.
I had your heart before; this goes with it.
TROILUS.
I did swear patience.
I swore to be calm.
CRESSIDA.
You shall not have it, Diomed; faith, you shall not;
I'll give you something else.
You shall not have it, Diomedes; I swear, you shall not;
I'll give you something else.
DIOMEDES.
I will have this. Whose was it?
I want this. Whose was it?
CRESSIDA.
It is no matter.
It's not important.
DIOMEDES.
Come, tell me whose it was.
Come, tell me who's it was.
CRESSIDA.
'Twas one's that lov'd me better than you will.
But, now you have it, take it.
It belonged to someone who loved me better than you will.
But, now you have it, take it.
DIOMEDES.
Whose was it?
Whose was it?
CRESSIDA.
By all Diana's waiting women yond,
And by herself, I will not tell you whose.
By all Diana's attendant stars up there,
and by herself, I swear I will not tell you.
DIOMEDES.
To-morrow will I wear it on my helm,
And grieve his spirit that dares not challenge it.
Tomorrow I will wear it on my helmet,
and torture the soul of someone who dares not challenge it.
TROILUS.
Wert thou the devil and wor'st it on thy horn,
It should be challeng'd.
If you were the devil andwore it on your horns,
you would be challenged.
CRESSIDA.
Well, well, 'tis done, 'tis past; and yet it is not;
I will not keep my word.
Well, well, it's finished, it's over; but it isn't;
I won’t keep my word.
DIOMEDES.
Why, then farewell;
Thou never shalt mock Diomed again.
Well then, goodbye;
you will never mock Diomedes again.
CRESSIDA.
You shall not go. One cannot speak a word
But it straight starts you.
You shan't go. One can't say anything
without setting you off.
DIOMEDES.
I do not like this fooling.
I don't like this fooling about.
THERSITES.
Nor I, by Pluto; but that that likes not you
Pleases me best.
Nor do I, by Pluto; but what you don't like
I like the most.
DIOMEDES.
What, shall I come? The hour-
What, shall I come? The time–
CRESSIDA.
Ay, come-O Jove! Do come. I shall be plagu'd.
Yes, come–oh Jove! Do come. What a life I have!
DIOMEDES.
Farewell till then.
Farewell until then.
CRESSIDA.
Good night. I prithee come. Exit DIOMEDES
Troilus, farewell! One eye yet looks on thee;
But with my heart the other eye doth see.
Ah, poor our sex! this fault in us I find,
The error of our eye directs our mind.
What error leads must err; O, then conclude
,
Minds sway'd by eyes are full of turpitude.
Exit
Good night. Please come.
Troilus, farewell! One of my eyes still looks at you;
but my heart is seeing with the other.
Ah, how poor women are! I find this fault in us,