Finding Kate

by Pollitt, Julie

  Interpreting her yank as instruction, Mabel slowed to a halt. When Kate caught her breath she saw they’d stopped a few yards from the wayward cow. Max nipped at the calf’s heels, veering him away from the riverbank.

  Kate let her horse trot closer to Will and Max. The dog continued barking at the calf until the errant animal turned in the direction of the herd.

  “Good boy Max,” Will hollered.

  Kate’s legs shook and her lower lip trembled. She took a deep breath and tried to keep the tears at bay. She wished she could dismount, but was afraid the horse might leave her behind. Her legs felt weak, and walking back wasn’t a possibility.

  Will led his horse up to hers. “You handled that well.”

  Kate was surprised Will had noticed, being so focused on rescuing the stray. She uncurled her fingers to find nail marks embedded into her palms.

  Will leaned over, grabbed Mabel’s reins, and handed them back to Kate.

  “Thank you,” she said. “This is a lot harder than it looks.” Kate exhaled. She appreciated the fact that he tried to help in whatever way he could, although he remained busy with the herd.

  “We might may a cowgirl out of you, yet,” Will said. He winked and rode off behind the stray calf.

  ***

  The wranglers led the cattle into the summer pasture behind Nancy and her husband’s ranch with no further complications. The cows mooed as they spread out to graze. The field was green and large, a delicious feast for the herd.

  Nancy rode up on her horse and met Kate by the fence. She hopped off and swung the reins around the wooden post. Her face looked like a raccoon with a touch of dirt lining underneath where her sunglasses sat. “How’d it go?”

  Kate slid off her horse. She was so grateful to be on solid ground she wanted to kiss the dirt. “I can barely walk.” She rubbed her backside. “But at least I have a story to write.”

  “You’ll get used to it.” Nancy grabbed the horse’s reins and wrapped them around the post, hitching Mabel next to the other horses.

  Kate looked at Mabel. “Thanks for not throwing me,” she whispered. “But I don’t think I will be getting used to this anytime soon.”

  Trevor strolled up behind her. “Let’s grab something to eat.”

  Kate swiped her grime-covered hands along the front of her jeans. “After I clean up I’d actually like to visit Emma in the hospital.”

  “Can’t you go see her tomorrow?” Trevor’s chin poked out and indicated a struggle between irritation and pouting.

  Now that she thought about it, she was awfully hungry. She nearly gave in, until she spotted Will, standing beside his horse staring at them. Will would undoubtedly join the rest of the wranglers at Nancy’s table.

  “I do want to see her this afternoon,” she told Trevor. “Besides, I need to get my pictures downloaded and my story written for the paper.”

  “Okay.” Trevor shrugged. “Give me a call when you’re done. We can have a late supper together.” Trevor took off his baseball cap and stared at the ground. Did she detect a bit of self-pity on his face? Was he jealous over the time she spent with Will? He had no reason to be. Will barely knew she existed.

  “I’ll call you.” Kate slid her hand into her pocket and retrieved her keys. Noticing that Will had his sights on her, she threw her arms around Trevor and gave him a long, intimate hug.

  ***

  Kate tapped her fingers on the kitchen table as she waited for the wireless to connect to her computer.

  The Chicago Herald’s home page inched onto the screen. Kate clicked on the fashion column link and rested against the back of the chair waiting for it to load. When it finally did, she soaked up every word. The first fashion show of the summer came and went and Kate missed it. The Internet locked up, and an ad for a stunning pair of heels stopped halfway down the screen. “I need faster service.” She’d never see all the pictures at this rate. There was no choice but to go into town and find a faster connection.

  In the meantime, she could at least transfer her photos. She connected the cable from her camera into the computer. Pictures of the cattle drive popped up.

  Kate clicked through the shots taken earlier that day. She stopped at an image of Will surrounded by cattle. He sat atop his horse in his dusty jean jacket, mud-caked chaps, and worn leather boots. His unshaven face was tanned from the sun. He looked like a poster cowboy, and her heart fluttered a bit at the thought.

  His photo would make the perfect cover shot for her article. He’ll love being on the front page of the newspaper.

  ***

  “I heard you rode a horse today,” Emma said, pushing herself into a sitting position in her hospital bed.

  “I don’t know if you’d call it riding or hanging on for dear life,” Kate laughed.

  Emma motioned for Kate to sit next to the bed. She moved closer and Emma rested her hand on Kate’s forearm. “I want to show you something.” She reached for a picture frame on the table next to her bed. “Isn’t that the most handsome man you’ve ever seen?”

  Kate smiled at the black-and-white photograph. “I’m guessing that’s your husband.”

  “Walt and I were married almost forty years before he died.”

  Kate felt a lump stick in her throat. “How have you dealt with his death?”

  “Not well at first. I asked the Lord so many times why he took him so early. I never heard him answer. So, I began to question my faith. Wondered what I’d done to deserve it and why God had forgotten me.”

  The nurse walked into the room and placed a tray of food in front of Emma.

  “Thanks, hon.”

  After the nurse left, Kate asked, “How did you get past that?”

  “I read my Bible.” Emma tore the cellophane covering off the fork and spoon and placed them on her tray. She removed the plastic dome lid from her plate, allowing the aroma of mashed potatoes, gravy, and cubed steak to penetrate the room. “I finally figured it out.”

  “What did you figure out?”

  Between bites of dinner, she replied, “God never forgot about me. He was right there all the time. I was the one who went missing. His words were on the pages of my Bible promising comfort and hope. When I immersed myself in his word, I began to feel his peace.”

  “So you aren’t angry anymore?”

  “Oh, I’m still upset that Walt is gone. But I can’t let that rule my life. I always go back to the Bible.”

  Emma took her last bite of potatoes. “That’s when I realized that God experienced a far greater loss when he sent his son to die for us. He understood my loss from his own experience.”

  Kate had heard those words before and she believed them. But she’d never thought about them from this perspective.

  Kate wheeled the tray beside the door and returned to Emma’s side. She wanted to embrace Emma and say something. Nothing would be enough. Emma didn’t need them. She had already given it over to the Lord.

  “Someday soon I’ll see Walt.” Emma smiled and closed her eyes as if she were picturing the scene now.

  Kate often wondered what it would be like in heaven. She felt a firm conviction that once Emma stepped into that realm, Walt would be standing on the other side ready to wrap his arms around her.

  A knock on the door startled Kate, tearing her from her thoughts. She turned in time to see Will come into the room. Emma grinned at him as he approached her bedside.

  Emma lifted her hands to Will’s face as he leaned down to kiss her. “Looks like you have more color in your cheeks,” Emma said.

  He sat down in a chair on the opposite side of the bed from Kate, and tipped his hat.

  “She ate all of her meal too.” Kate pointed to the empty food tray.

  Will’s focus remained on Emma. Kate could see the love he had for her. She admired that in him. Kate didn’t want to intrude on their time together, so she stood up to leave. “I’d better be going. Will, I’ll see you at Emma’s in the morning.”

  Will stood up as she sta
rted to leave the room. “A couple of guys from the drive offered to take care of things over there for a few days so I could keep an eye on her. So, you won’t need to go over to Emma’s place anymore.”

  A twinge of sadness filtered through Kate. Although she didn’t particularly like getting up early, she had enjoyed helping Will take care of Emma’s ranch. “I enjoyed helping. You’re a great teacher.”

  “I wish I had . . .” Will paused.

  Kate wasn’t sure why he stopped talking. The silence was awkward. “Wish you had what?”

  “I wish I had a chance to show you more.” Will stared into her eyes.

  Kate was a little stunned at his comment. She wasn’t sure he knew she existed more than to have her over to help feed chickens.

  “I know you and Trevor are close,” Will added, “and I see the way you look at him, so I hesitate to say more.”

  “I-I-“ Kate couldn’t get the words to come out of her mouth. She wasn’t even sure what to say. She liked the fact that he was showing interest, and she wanted him to say more. But what about Trevor? She did have him to consider.

  Chapter Eleven

  Kate glanced around at the patrons in the small Cortez restaurant. Green southwestern kokopelli symbols danced across the wallpaper, matching the design on the vinyl booths. She picked up a lemon wedge off a saucer, squeezed it over her water, and dropped it in.

  “I’m glad you called,” Trevor said, sitting across the table from her. “I wanted to tell you how proud I am of your accomplishment yesterday.”

  “I gotta say, I’m pretty proud myself.” She sat up, straightened her shoulders and smiled a wide-toothed grin. She could be proud of staying on top of her horse as she raced after Max and Will during the cattle drive.

  “I’m used to seeing you loaded down with shopping bags and carrying the latest style purse. This is a change for you.” He sipped on his soda.

  “I never said I would stop toting the latest fashions,” Kate said, smiling.

  “You miss home, don’t you?” Trevor laughed.

  Kate nodded and fiddled with her silverware, lining up the bottom of the knife with the spoon. “How’s Victoria?”

  “She’s fine.” Trevor shifted in his seat. “But, back to you. There’s something different about you.” He squinted his eyes and cocked his head to the side. “I’ve been trying to figure it out all day.”

  He changed the subject too fast. Had there been a rift in his plans with Victoria?

  The waitress arrived carrying plates of food. “Everything all right here?” She set their meals in front of them.

  “Fine. Great. Why? Do we look like something’s wrong?” Kate sensed the nervousness in her own voice.

  “I just thought maybe you wanted a refill on your water.” The waitress crinkled her forehead, pressing her eyebrows together.

  “Oh, I thought…” Kate stopped talking midsentence and decided closing her mouth would be a good plan. The waitress turned and walked away without saying another word.

  “You all right?” Trevor asked, leaning in toward the table. “You seem a little jumpy.”

  “Just tired from a long day,” she said, hoping her explanation would satisfy Trevor.

  “I really haven’t had much of a chance to spend time with you since you arrived,” he said, cutting his steak. “I’ve been so busy with the Durango paper. How are you settling in?”

  “It’s a huge change from Chicago. Today proved to be exciting. I’m glad you talked me into going on the cattle drive.” She laughed. “Covering local board meetings just doesn’t scream fun to me.” She’d sat through several meetings to fulfill her college journalism requirements and had decided going to the dentist would be more entertaining.

  “I know. But, it’s part of what happens in the community. It’s a small town and people are very involved in what takes place here,” Trevor said.

  “Town board meets in a few days. In the meantime, I thought I might try to dig up a more interesting story. One that will sizzle on the front cover.”

  “That’s fine. Just remember, you are writing about what the residents want to know and what will affect them and their families. Those are the most important stories.”

  Kate nodded and finished her dinner. Her eyes felt heavy and her body still sore from yesterday’s long arduous day of helping move cattle.

  “So what’s going on with Victoria?” Kate decided she would come right out and ask.

  “We’ve decided to put our engagement on hold.” He paused and tapped his fork against his plate. “In fact, we decided to put our relationship on hold.” His eyes met Kate’s.

  “When did this happen?” She rested her back against the booth.

  “This afternoon.” He continued eating. “We want to make sure we’re making the right decision. After all, it’s a lifetime commitment.”

  She couldn’t fault him for being sure about Victoria, but it didn’t seem like his true motive? What changed his mind? Just the other day they looked so in love. Now he didn’t appear fazed by this decision.

  Could God be opening the door of opportunity for her relationship with Trevor to blossom into something more than friendship? She stared at him until he lifted his head, and then darted her line of vision in another direction. She stopped eating and chugged the entire glass of water in front of her. When it was empty she set it back down on the table.

  “You OK?” he asked, pausing his fork in midair.

  “No problems here.” She lied. He’s available. Be happy. Why did it feel like a heavy weight landed on her shoulders?

  ***

  The wind blew gently through Kate’s hair as she and Trevor stood next to her car outside the restaurant. The moon shone down on his face. His strong chin, blue eyes, and blond hair always made her heart flutter. This time, as she stared into his eyes she felt different. Unaffected.

  Trevor reached up and brushed a piece of hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. Before Kate knew what was happening, Trevor took a step forward, slid his hands around her waist, and planted his lips on hers.

  Trevor backed up. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while now.”

  “I…uh…” Kate’s hand dove into her bucket purse. She fumbled around for her keys. She felt the metal, pulled them out, and held them in front of her. “Leave…I have to leave.”

  “I’ve missed you Kate. Our long walks, talking together past midnight, and eating our favorite hotdogs while sitting next to the river.”

  She loved those times and she couldn’t deny it. Her heart pounded in her chest, but for all the wrong reasons. She felt as though she should grab Trevor and embrace him, but something held her back. She felt it in the pit of her stomach. Instead, she grabbed the door handle and almost leapt into her car.

  “I gotta go.” She threw her purse into the passenger seat, and turned the key in the ignition.

  “Call me Kate,” Trevor yelled through the window. He lifted his eyebrows and tilted his head like a lost puppy.

  She nodded and drove out of the parking lot, turning onto the highway toward Wintervale.

  “What is the problem? He’s right there in your hands. Ready. Willing.” Kate smacked the steering wheel with her hands. What held her back? Who held her back?

  He wore boots and a cowboy hat and moved fast on his horse.

  ***

  Sunlight streamed in through the silver-colored mini blinds covering the hospital window and woke Will. He had planned to leave during the night, but once he sat down to rest, his heavy eyelids won the battle.

  He watched Emma sleep. Her chest rose and fell with rhythm and consistency. He remained thankful for that simple fact. He rubbed his eyes and glanced at the clock. Eight a.m. Will couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept so late.

  He rustled around the room for a few minutes. He wanted to stay, but too many things at home and work needed attention. Will leaned down and kissed Emma’s forehead before leaving the room.

  A glint of sunshi
ne flickered off the newspaper stand catching Will’s attention as he departed the hospital. Curious, he stopped to take a look at the headline. “Mountain Lion Saved after Close Brush with Death.”

  Kate’s byline sat above the beginning of the story. He dropped some change in the slot, pulled out the paper, and read through the article. Kate’s research, interviews, and retelling of the events proved accurate.

  Confusion settled in his heart. He wanted to spend more time with her, yet he wasn’t sure he wanted to let his heart feel anything for Kate. Things seemed to backfire on him. Besides, there wasn’t a drop of country life in her blood and she would be returning home to Chicago soon.

  She belongs in the city away from horses, cattle, and me. Kate belonged with someone like Trevor who would spoil her. Country life and Kate were like opposing magnets working against each other.

  He appreciated every bit of her help on the ranch. But, he wasn’t the kind of person to rescue her from the mud. She needed someone to hold her hand as she tiptoed through life and Will wasn’t made that way.

  Laughter bubbled to the surface when he thought about her klutziness. She had a way of falling into trouble like it was second nature.

  Why couldn’t he get her out of his mind? Every time he laid eyes on her she stole his breath. She was every man’s dream. But, did she love Trevor like he suspected? Maybe he was being unreasonable believing she only wanted to stay in Chicago? It was more than he wanted to worry about. At least right now.

  ***

  Kate turned on her back, fluffing the pillow beneath her head. She lay still in the dark night. Her thoughts raced back to Trevor’s embrace. I’m supposed to be over-the-moon right now, not sulking. Shouldn’t I have felt goose bumps or a surge of electricity with that kiss?

  So why did Will keep popping into her mind? She shouldn’t care anything about him. Why did she so desperately want him to be the one kissing her? She flipped over on her side and stared out at the moonlight. It was becoming clearer to her that Will was taking over her heart.