The Renegade

by Amy Dunne

  Or perhaps Evelyn might not be the person Alex thought she was. She might have stumbled into a game and unwittingly become Evelyn’s pawn. What else might she be hiding? Alex realised she knew hardly anything about her. Could she be trusted?

  “Time to find out.” She turned in the direction of the medical room. Evelyn had a lot of explaining to do.

  Chapter Twenty

  The pounding on the locked medical room door was as unrelenting as it was aggressive. Evelyn opened up, startled to see Alex. Clearly something was wrong. She started to usher her inside, but Alex stormed past, bumping her shoulder.

  At a loss for what was happening, Evelyn quickly locked the door. “You shouldn’t be here.”

  “I want to check on my husband,” Alex said, her eyes blazing. She went to Murphy’s side.

  “What’s happened?” Evelyn asked. Alex’s behaviour worried her. She couldn’t just come straight to the medical room and bang on the door like that, making a big scene in the middle of the day. It looked suspicious. They needed to be careful. She waited for Alex to answer, but by the looks of her, an explanation wasn’t forthcoming. Trying a different tack, Evelyn walked over to the opposite side of the bed. “He’s doing well. His temperature’s down and the fever is manageable. I think he’s going to be okay.” She waited, but got nothing back. Her body language and refusal to speak telegraphed anger. Her jaws were clenched so tight, Evelyn could see the contours of her neck and throat, including the faint pulse. Maybe she was still upset about the dress? Understandable, but she’d given Tanya permission to raid her clothes, and clearly she had—the jumper Alex wore was hers.

  “How long will it take him to recover enough to walk?” Alex asked, her tone cold. She refused to look in Evelyn’s direction.

  “I can’t say. We’ll have to wait and see. I’m gradually reducing his medication, so hopefully in a few hours he should come around.”

  Alex ran her fingers through her hair, harshly pulling at unruly tufts. “Then I’m staying here.”

  Evelyn shook her head. “You can’t sta—”

  “If he’s going to wake up, I’ve got to be here. I don’t want him waking up alone. Not knowing where he is.”

  “I’ll be here,” Evelyn said softly, to assure her. Why wouldn’t Alex look at her? She was starting to think the target of Alex’s anger might be…her. To her knowledge, she hadn’t done anything to warrant such hostility.

  “Really? Because you were meant to be here during that bullshit ceremony, but you didn’t seem to have any qualms about leaving him in here alone then. What if something had happened? What if he’d taken a turn for the worse? Or woken up and stumbled outside, totally disorientated, and then got shot by the freaks out there?”

  “Hold one a minute,” Evelyn said sharply. Her temper lit in a whoosh and engulfed her in hot emotions. “I’ve done everything possible to keep him—and you—safe. I’ve lived in this shitty room for days and nights, just to make sure he’s not alone. As for your welcoming service, I was told in no uncertain terms that Elijah demanded I attend. I tried to argue, but it was useless. In the end, I had to lock the door and hide the key, just to be certain Murphy would be safe. So don’t you dare make those callous accusations about me.” How dare Alex storm in here and speak to her like that?

  “Whatever.”

  “What the hell is your problem?” Evelyn asked, gripping the side of the bed so tightly it hurt.

  “My problem? Well, hold on a minute, let me think. My best friend’s been shot. I’ve been forced to join some crazy cult. And nobody will tell me the fucking truth.” Alex folded her arms and glared.

  “I’ve been truthf—”

  “Bullshit. You’re the biggest liar of them all.”

  Evelyn stormed around the table and squared up to Alex. “What did you say?”

  “You’re a liar,” Alex said, enunciating each syllable. “I’m sick of your twisted games. You only tell me what you want me to hear. Pretend to be married, agree to join the community, don’t do this, and don’t do that. Well, screw it, and screw you.” She pulled the ring off her finger and thrust it into Evelyn’s hands.

  The ring only fuelled Evelyn’s anger. “What have I lied about?” she asked, thrusting her face closer to Alex’s. “Come on? Answer me.”

  “How about the fact you’re married?”

  The words shocked and hurt as much as any physical blow could. She hadn’t expected that. And even through the red mist of her temper, a part of her had the decency to feel guilt. She hadn’t told Alex she was married. She could pass it off as being too busy and having other pressing matters—all of which was true—but in her heart, she knew she’d deliberately put off telling Alex. The reasons why had been hounding her since the day they’d met. But she was still no closer now to deciphering her thoughts, feelings, and actions than she was back then.

  “And not just to anyone. Oh no. You’re married to Elijah. The demented leader of this fucked-up community.” A flicker of satisfaction transformed Alex’s face momentarily. She’d gotten what she wanted. A reaction.

  “You’ve no idea what you’re talking about,” Evelyn said, as a myriad of emotions surfaced too quickly to understand. Desperation smoothed the edge off her temper.

  “If you say so.” Alex started to turn away, but Evelyn grabbed her arm.

  “I never lied to you about that. I just didn’t have time to tell you—”

  “How convenient.”

  “Would you just let me speak?” Evelyn asked, frustrated by Alex’s surly behaviour. She needed to knock Alex off the self-righteous, sanctimonious pedestal stool she’d put herself on. “What’s it got to do with you anyway?”

  Alex opened her mouth to reply, but struggled to come up with a response.

  “So what if I’m married to Elijah? Does that change me? Does it lessen the time and effort I’ve invested in helping save your friend’s life? Does it make me a crappy mum?” The anger simmered nicely again, not far from bringing back to the boil.

  Infuriatingly, a flummoxed Alex was a sexy Alex. Her eyes sparkled, her cheeks and neck were flushed.

  A jolt of arousal shot to Evelyn’s groin and coursed up through her body. Her face burned from the inappropriate physiological reaction. As Alex had not so kindly reminded her, she was a married woman, lest she forget. That only fuelled her rampage.

  Alex took half a step backward. “I didn—”

  “You don’t know anything about me.” Evelyn stepped toward her. She wasn’t going to let her backtrack. They were going to have this out once and for all. “You don’t know what I’ve been through or the circumstances that led to Jamie and me being here. You’ve made some cruel assumptions about me and think you’ve a right to spout them. That’s not going to happen. I didn’t tell you about Elijah because I was trying to save your friend’s life and warn you of imminent danger. It slipped my frigging mind.” With her free hand she poked Alex’s chest. “What gives you the right to barge in here and be such an arsehole?”

  Alex’s anger looked to be fully replaced by embarrassment. “Nothing. I shouldn’t have said those things. I’m sorry.”

  “No. You don’t get to just apologise. It obviously bothered you enough to come storming in here. Why does my being married to Elijah bother you so much?” Evelyn asked, refusing to back down. She thrived on being indignant.

  Their faces were so close, the tips of their noses practically touched. Alex’s warm breath caressed Evelyn’s face and smelled of mint. Her lips enticed. Although Alex was taller, how she held herself in the awkwardness of her body from the clothes she was wearing made her seem smaller. Since the moment she’d laid eyes on Alex, desire had coursed through Evelyn’s veins. It’d been so long, she’d almost forgotten what it felt like. And here they stood, a hairsbreadth apart. Part of her wanted to pull away and establish a boundary between them; the other part wanted something entirely different. “Neither of us is going anywhere until you explain why you’re so bother—”

>   In a flash, Alex lent forward and sought Evelyn’s lips.

  It was so unexpected, neither of them reacted for a few seconds. It’d been an age since Evelyn had kissed a woman, and although her brain struggled to process what was happening, her body revelled in the intimacy. It felt right. She pressed her lips back with bruising intensity. Her heart skipped three consecutive beats as she waited to see whether Alex would reciprocate or reject her. She felt Alex pull away, only to step closer and return the kiss.

  Their mouths melted together. Seeking more, Alex deepened their kiss and moaned as her tongue slipped inside Evelyn’s mouth. They battled for control in the hot, sweet, wetness they’d created, only to pull apart moments later, both gasping for breath.

  Evelyn’s lips were wet, her head swam, and her heart hammered. She wanted to say something but remained speechless. Her hands still held Alex’s arms and she wasn’t sure whether she should let go. She didn’t want to—but the startled expression on Alex’s face convinced her it was for the best.

  “I…” Alex said, floundering. She stepped back, making distance.

  “We can’t do that again,” Evelyn said, wiping her mouth with her hand. Her anger was long gone.

  “I’m sorry,” Alex said, looking crestfallen.

  Evelyn shook her head. “I don’t know what came over me. I’ve never been impulsive. I was really angry with you.”

  “It’s my fault. I made the first move. I should’ve known better, especially as you’re married and—”

  “Don’t start that again,” Evelyn said, glad to be the one interrupting for once. “We need to talk. I’ll answer your questions as best as I can. Just bear in mind, we might not get much time. Let’s sit.” Evelyn pulled out two rickety-looking chairs, ensuring there was a decent-sized gap between them. “Go ahead. Ask away.”

  “How long have you been married to Elijah?” Alex asked. The seat groaned as she sat.

  “Wow. You’re direct. And there was me hoping you’d break me in gently.” Evelyn gave a weak smile.

  “I think you’ve probably gathered I’m a fairly direct person,” Alex said, shrugging.

  “No kidding.” Evelyn laughed, which was good because it lightened the mood. “We’ve been married for around six weeks.”

  Alex looked surprised. “So it’s a recent thing?”

  Evelyn nodded. “The same amount of time as Gemma and David. We had a double ceremony.” She grimaced.

  “He’s old enough to be her dad.”

  “Granddad even.” Evelyn sighed. “Out of all of the marriages that have taken place, only two couples seem happy. Not that happiness matters, of course.”

  “Do you love him?” Alex asked, wringing her hands nervously.

  “Honestly? I hate him. Not a day goes by when I don’t secretly fantasise about killing him.”

  Alex sat up straight. “Then why marry him?”

  “Because if I didn’t, he threatened to hurt Jamie. There was no choice. I had to protect Jamie. He’s all that matters.”

  “He blackmailed you?” Alex gritted her teeth again.

  “Is it blackmail if you’ve complete control over another person’s life? Saying no wasn’t ever an option. There wasn’t a choice. We’re prisoners. Now they’ve got us inside, we’re trapped. To make life bearable, you’ve got to pander to every whimsical beck and call. The guards, guns, and watchtower aren’t just to keep people out. They keep us in. In order for this community to survive and thrive, they need women. Elijah’s big plan is to repopulate the world with what he thinks is his God’s chosen race.”

  “White people.”

  Evelyn gave a humourless smile. Alex seemed to finally be grasping the direness of their situation. “You noticed that, then?”

  “There’s got to be a way out of here?”

  “A few of us have been searching since we arrived, but we’ve come up with nothing. Then Gemma managed to break out. Since then, everything’s a million times worse.”

  “All you need is a weapon. I’ll go find Scott, take his weapon from him, and we’ll force our way out.” Alex meant it. She looked poised, ready for the word, so she could jump up and bolt out of the door.

  Evelyn shook her head. “That’s one gun. All of the other men have guns. Some of them might be reluctant to shoot, but others wouldn’t. There’s too many of them and they’re trained. Plus, I couldn’t risk the lives of Jamie or Matilda. And Scott is a good lad, but they know he’s useless when it comes to weapons. I wouldn’t be surprised if his gun wasn’t even loaded.”

  “Surely they wouldn’t really shoot to kill?” Alex asked.

  “Can you take that risk? Because I can’t. There are worse things than death, Alex. Sure, he might keep me alive, but I’ve no doubt in my mind he’d hurt and kill Jamie just to punish me. I can’t let that happen. And when the other men get back, it’s going to be worse yet. He’s never going to let us go. Me especially. I belong to him.”

  Alex ran her fingers through her hair again, massaging her scalp. “If our chance of escaping is so slim, why did you say you wanted me to help you try?”

  Evelyn fidgeted and dropped her gaze to the floor. “There’s something about you. As soon as I saw you, I felt a connection. If anyone can help think up a foolproof way to escape, I believe it’s you.”

  “No pressure, then,” Alex said wryly.

  “Any other questions?” Evelyn asked.

  “Will you tell me about your past?”

  “Anything in particular?”

  Alex scooted her chair closer. “Anything you want to share.”

  “I had a normal childhood growing up with my parents and my older sister, Carla. When I was eleven, my mum was diagnosed with cancer. I was thirteen when she passed away. That’s when I decided I wanted to study medicine. My dad died of a heart attack when I was nineteen. Carla went travelling and met her husband Steven. They got married and lived in Australia and had my niece, Samantha. I only got to spend a few holidays with them, and I regret that so much now.”

  “Do you know if they survived?” Alex asked.

  “Steven phoned to tell me when Samantha passed away and within a couple of weeks Carla had, too. I didn’t hear from him after that. Communication went down not long after.”

  “I’m sorry.” Alex reached out and tentatively took hold of one of Evelyn’s hands and held it.

  Evelyn sniffed back tears. “Did you lose anyone?”

  “Both my parents and my partner, Dianne.”

  “I’m sorry, too.” Evelyn gave a gentle squeeze of her hand.

  “I don’t understand why I survived and so many others didn’t.”

  “I often think the same thing. It happened so suddenly.”

  “Do you think it was manmade?”

  “Biological warfare gone wrong?” Evelyn asked and Alex nodded. “It could’ve been. But Mother Nature’s been throwing some curveballs in recent years, too. I don’t think we’ll ever know for sure.”

  “So you don’t think it was the smite of God?” Alex asked bitterly.

  “You don’t believe in God?”

  “How can I? What kind of God would kill billions of people in such a horrific way?”

  Evelyn wiped away a tear. She was on an emotional roller coaster today. She’d always been emotive and a little too sensitive, but recently that had intensified tenfold. Her stance on God remained the same as ever. Undecided.

  “You don’t actually believe in God? Not after everything?” Alex asked.

  Evelyn shrugged. “I believe in something. I don’t know what exactly. But I’m not making excuses for everything that’s happened.”

  “But you’re a doctor. A woman of science and—”

  “So that means I can’t have a faith? I believe in spirits. I believe there’s more to people than just the physiological, emotional, and psychological components. When we die, it’s not just the end. I can’t really explain it.” Alex looked dumbfounded and remained silent. “I wanted to die with everyone else. L
iving seemed too hard. But then I found Jamie, and he changed everything. I never knew I could love someone so much. When I first came across him, he was filthy. Covered in dirt and filth, his hair unruly—he looked like a mini zombie or demon. I wanted to scream and run away, but I was too terrified. And then, in his sweet, innocent voice he said, ‘Hello’, and I saw beyond the dirt. It was love at first sound. I knew I’d survived to save him.”

  “You’re a wonderful mother.”

  “Thank you,” Evelyn said. “Maybe there’s a reason why we’ve survived and we don’t know what it is yet. Maybe we’ll never know. But I’m very glad to have met you. And although I wouldn’t wish being here on my worst enemy, having you here has made life a bit more bearable.” She gave Alex’s hand a gentle squeeze.

  For a little while, they remained in a comfortable silence.

  “Will you do me a favour?” Evelyn asked.

  “Sure.”

  “Please put this back on.” She offered the ring back to Alex. “The reason I gave it you and told you to lie was because otherwise, you’d have ended up being married off to someone. I should’ve tried to explain it better to you at the time.”

  “Where did you get it?”

  “It was my mum’s wedding ring.”

  “I can’t wear it. It’s too precious,” Alex said, trying to hand the ring back.

  “Nonsense. I insist. Here.” Evelyn took the ring and slipped it on Alex’s finger. As they both looked at the ringed finger, Evelyn lazily caressed Alex’s hand with her thumb. The ticklish caress made Alex squirm but caused an ache to settle in Evelyn’s lower stomach. “It never fit my finger, that’s why I kept in on a chain. It suits you.”

  “You’d better stop,” Alex said hoarsely.

  “Why?” Evelyn leant closer.

  “Because I won’t be able to stop myself from kissing you again.”

  Evelyn brushed her cheek against Alex’s and moved her mouth to whisper in Alex’s ear. “What if that’s what I want?”