[In Distress 02.0] In Pain

by Caethes Faron

  “I got a response from my contact at the settlement.” Malcolm’s voice pulled Will from his thoughts. “The extra space won’t be a problem, but there’s interest in why we need it.”

  “Can we tell them?”

  “There’s no reason not to.”

  “You trust them that much?”

  “Yes, but it’s not just a matter of trust. If they were going to turn on us, they already have enough information to topple the movement. Besides, they’re as much a threat to the Federation as we are, even more of one. The only reason the nation-states wield so much power over their citizens is because they believe there’s nowhere safe for them to go.”

  “But they’ve never shown interest in what we’re doing before?”

  “They wish us the best, but they prefer to keep to themselves and not get directly involved. They understand that information is power, and part of the reason they’ve helped us with server space is because they have their own archive they maintain, and our archive is part of it.”

  “They know everything?” The thought of people in one of the settlements having so much knowledge engendered an odd sense of kinship. They were directly connected to people who lived with freedom. It gave Will even more hope that eventually he’d have freedom too.

  “Yes. Given how much space we’re going to need, they know something big is happening. They may want to monitor what we’re doing more closely now. Once I pass along the details, I’m sure they’ll put it to a vote and decide whether or not they want to become more involved than they already are. But I can go ahead and tell Oculus that we have the space. He’ll be pleased.”

  “He’ll be happy to hear from you.”

  “Has he said something?”

  “He’s wondering if you’re really back. I think there’s a part of him that suspects I’m lying to him about you working today. In fact, I’m pretty sure he’ll think you’re contacting him because I told you to.”

  A slight grimace passed Malcolm’s face. “That’s to be expected. I should have contacted him already.”

  “He’s just worried. I assured him you’re back.”

  “I wish I had the confidence in myself that you do.”

  “You’ll do the right thing, Malcolm. You always do.”

  Malcolm didn’t say anything in response. Instead, he went right back to work.

  The only way to lighten Malcolm’s burden would be to deliver the emotional release he needed. Clearly he was doing his best. Will knew the effort it took for Malcolm to focus on the movement and not pursue his desire for revenge. He was doing his part.

  This wasn’t like times in the past when Malcolm had retreated into the dark self-destructiveness of his mind. He’d already made it clear that he harbored no guilt over Kaleana’s death. That in itself was a greater victory than Will had hoped for so soon.

  Tomorrow they would say goodbye to Kaleana. It was important that afterward they faced the future together as a united front, focused and wholeheartedly committed to their cause. If Malcolm didn’t walk away from the memorial renewed, Will didn’t know if he ever would. He owed it to his lover and to himself to give Malcolm the best chance of success.

  He’d keep an eye on Malcolm for the rest of the day and see if settling into work didn’t improve his situation. Tonight, he’d try to work out some of their frustrations in bed. If things didn’t change, though, he’d have to take matters into his owns hands and nudge them along a little bit. No matter what it took, he was getting Malcolm back tomorrow.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  The weight of Will’s arm on Malcolm’s chest trapped him to the bed as surely as if there were ropes binding him. He wouldn’t disrupt Will’s peaceful countenance, especially when he needed the sleep. The man had been running in overdrive ever since the day Kaleana died.

  Despite having just had sex, no hint of drowsiness descended on him. He wished he could fall asleep. He needed to. He couldn’t afford to not be alert at the memorial tomorrow. Kaleana deserved his best. Besides, once he walked away from her memorial, he needed to be ready to move forward. It had been selfish of him to retreat from the movement. Will needed him. His family needed him and so did the movement. If he didn’t revisit his priorities, he risked losing the loved ones he still had.

  If only Will would roll over, Malcolm could pace. What he really wanted was to take one of his cars out on the open road and accelerate until he outran all the turmoil that swirled inside him. No, that wasn’t what he really wanted. It would be nice, but it wouldn’t scratch the itch that kept him up. Try as he might to deny it, he wanted a beating. He kept telling himself he didn’t need it, though. Need and want were two different things. Needing it would imply he was somehow addicted to it. All he needed was Will. They’d make it through the rest somehow.

  Another glance at Will’s brown hair askew atop his peaceful head assured him that his lover wouldn’t be moving anytime soon. With a sigh of resignation, he reached for his Glass Tab. Maybe some reading would lull him to sleep.

  After taking five minutes to read a single paragraph, he gave up on maintaining the focus needed to read. This would be a long night followed by a long day. Maybe he should take something to help him sleep. He didn’t like relying on any external measures, but there must be something in his medicine cabinet that would work. As soon as Will rolled over, he’d give it a try if he hadn’t drifted off already.

  “What’s wrong?” Will asked, his voice thick with sleep.

  “Nothing. Go back to sleep.” Malcolm couldn’t even bring himself to move Will’s arm. Eyes barely open, neck craned to look up into Malcolm’s face, his lips relaxed in an almost pout made Will too adorable to disturb. Besides, he’d probably move on his own now.

  “No, you’re wide awake. What’s wrong?”

  He really didn’t want to keep Will awake, but he’d be able to spot a lie. Better to go with a half-truth. “I haven’t wanted to move and disturb you. I have to use the bathroom.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry.” Will snatched his arm away and tucked it under his pillow.

  “Don’t be silly.” Now that Malcolm mentioned it, he did need to pee.

  After washing his hands, he stared at the medicine cabinet. While he wasn’t used to taking pills, Kaleana had always kept him stocked with the basics just in case. Something about taking a sleep aid seemed to concede defeat. What kind of person couldn’t sleep? There was no reason for him not to go to sleep on his own. Resolved to just lie in a more comfortable position, he left the bathroom, only to be greeted by an empty bed.

  Well, not entirely empty. A pair of cuffs rested in the center, the same pair he had put in that exact position earlier. Will stood at the foot of the bed, his pajama pants back on and holding the wide, thick belt that Malcolm preferred. He momentarily forgot to breathe.

  “I don’t know if you still want to use the cuffs, but if you do, I’m fine with it.”

  Malcolm closed his eyes, absorbing the compassionate words from his lover. No, this wasn’t what he wanted. This was admitting defeat. He wouldn’t cause Will to go against what he had already committed not to do. “We said we wouldn’t do this. I’m fine. I need to learn to deal with things without it.”

  “Maybe, maybe not. I don’t know, but this is different now. I refused to do it before because you wanted to punish yourself with it. That’s not the case now. You don’t want this because you feel guilty or that you deserve it, you want it because it gives you pleasure. You have a tough day ahead of you tomorrow, and you deserve to relax tonight. That’s what this is. Some people like bubble baths, others like to relinquish control for a little while and swim in a stream of feeling and pain.” Will smiled. “It’s all right. It’s who you are, and I love you.”

  How could Will put into words so clearly what Malcolm felt when he couldn’t do so himself? The man had a rare talent. Every word Will spoke rang true and reverberated down into Malcolm’s core.

  “How could we use the cuffs?”

  Will’s
smile turned into a proud smirk. “I tested the light fixture earlier.” He pointedly glanced to a wrought-iron fixture that curved out of the wall into a U-shape and held a light. “It will support your weight. I can remove the light from it.”

  Normally, Malcolm didn’t like to relinquish control in any situation, but somehow it was different this time. He needed to release himself from any expectations and just let himself feel. As his relationship with Will had grown and deepened, he also found himself more willing and able to trust and make himself vulnerable.

  “You tested it?”

  “Yes. I decided earlier that if the sex didn’t relax you, we’d do this.”

  Will always seemed to be two steps ahead of him. “I’d like to try that then.”

  Will nodded and removed the light from the designated fixture, leaving Malcolm to bring the cuffs to him. The lamb’s wool provided a soft cushion, but it did nothing to diminish the desired effect from the cuffs. With his arms raised above him and the cuffs hooked over the fixture, a pleasant pull stretched his body.

  Once he was secured, Will rubbed his hands up and down Malcolm’s back and ass, creating a warm friction. Everything about this would be enjoyable. Nothing that could possibly be interpreted as a punishing pain would be inflicted. Will had mastered the art of pleasuring Malcolm with pain long ago.

  When Malcolm’s backside was sufficiently warmed, Will moved his lips to Malcolm’s ear. “All right, just relax and enjoy. Let me know if there’s anything particular that you want, but other than that, there’s nothing you need to do. You’re in my hands now, and I’m going to take care of you.” Will’s words sent a thrill through Malcolm. Will gave him a quick kiss under his ear, nipped at his lobe, and then retreated.

  Normally, Malcolm liked to see Will as he prepared to beat him. The confidence that suffused him was impressive. Now he couldn’t see him at all. He hoped that he wouldn’t give him any warning of the first blow. The anticipation was half the fun.

  It came, a strike forceful enough to be felt but gentle enough to not cause any more shock than the surprise of its touch. Another followed quickly on its heels and then a pause. The sting morphed into pleasant warmth. Another and another. Already an ache was forming beneath the surface, a solid foundation to the flighty stings pelting his skin, like a strong bass note holding a melody together.

  A few strikes in and Will released a formidable stroke, startling Malcolm with the intensity of the pain. Instead of running from it, he fell into it, letting it consume him and wipe away all his anxieties. As the pain turned into a deep-seated pleasure, the pressure Malcolm had carried around inside of him began to unfurl, his tension uncoiling. The sensation mimicked massage, tough pressure causing pain as it coaxed a muscle to relax and relinquish its knot.

  A loud, seemingly never-ending groan emerged from Malcolm’s throat. As always, Will delivered. With the skilled touch of an expert, he layered the pain in such a way as to bring the most pleasure possible. Everything about the experience relaxed him.

  After a few minutes, the strokes changed and crescendoed as Will increased Malcolm’s sexual arousal. Before Malcolm could seek an orgasm, Will retreated. Oh, this would be a lovely game. On and on Will played Malcolm, relaxing him into a state of high-soaring bliss and then bringing his sexual desires to the forefront.

  After Will once again crescendoed his blows until Malcolm desperately desired the crest and crash of a wave of orgasm, the beating stopped.

  “What do you want?” Will had come right up to Malcolm’s side and rested his hand in the curve of Malcolm’s back.

  At first, Malcolm resented having to pierce his hazy high enough to make a decision, but he was glad Will gave him the choice. He didn’t want to come from the beating. He wanted to be in bed with his lover, their limbs entwined. He wanted to be held and told he was loved.

  “Bed.”

  Will immediately dropped the belt and released the cuffs. Malcolm’s knees provided little support. His whole body slumped in total and complete relaxation, as if he had no bones holding him upright. Will wrapped his arm around Malcolm’s waist and provided what support he could as Malcolm dragged himself to the bed where he collapsed and rolled over onto his back, his eyes instantly closing even as the welts called out from the contact.

  The wet sensation of Will’s tongue licking up his shaft brought Malcolm’s eyes wide open again. “Ohhhh.”

  “Hmm. I thought you’d like that.”

  Will licked up the underside of Malcolm’s shaft and then nibbled right underneath the head. The air cooled the wetness left by Will’s tongue, contrasting sharply against the extreme heat of Malcolm’s body. The beating melted into a hazy backdrop for the surge of pure lust that consumed him.

  Will occupied his mouth with licking, kissing, and nibbling as he nuzzled Malcolm’s thigh with his cheek. Each touch of his lips, each swipe of his tongue deepened Malcolm’s ache for him. A high-pitched whimper escaped the back of Malcolm’s throat. He needed this. He needed Will.

  “Please.”

  In one swift movement, Will enveloped Malcolm’s cock with his mouth. The sensation blocked out all thought. His hips automatically lifted from the bed, searching out more. Will’s mouth glided up and down, his tongue massaging the underside of Malcolm’s shaft as he went, eliciting a groan from somewhere deep inside him. Malcolm rested one hand on Will’s head, not controlling his movement, just wanting another point of contact to ground himself as his hips rolled up to match Will’s rhythm.

  On a down stroke, Will’s hand joined his mouth, slightly twisting with each up stroke. His other hand cupped Malcolm’s balls, his fingertips teasing the sensitive skin behind them. Each sensation layered on top of the last, building, pulling all of Malcolm’s feeling into the places where Will’s skin met his. The pace quickened.

  “No.” Malcolm’s grip on Will’s scalp tightened.

  In an instant, Will let go, leaving Malcolm in a ball of aching need. He crawled up Malcolm’s body until they were face to face. The exertion left Will’s lips plump and red, wickedly inviting. Those gorgeous lips descended onto his mouth without asking. Malcolm’s panting had left his mouth chilled, and the warmth of Will’s tongue explored each surface. The heat of Will’s erection pressed against his abdomen. While Will’s tongue delved deep, Malcolm wanted more. His arms encircled Will, holding him to him with a fierceness, as if he could meld them into one.

  “What is it you want?” Will asked when he pulled his lips away, his fingertips pushing back the hair on Malcolm’s forehead with feather-light touches that sent a shiver down Malcolm’s back.

  “I want to come with you inside me.” Their hot breath mingled between them.

  “As you wish.” Will lifted himself off of Malcolm and reached for the lube. The sudden intrusion of cool air caused a chill to run down Malcolm’s body, which only served to heighten his anticipation.

  Will knelt between Malcolm’s legs and spread the lube over his cock. The sight of it made Malcolm salivate and momentarily question if he had made the right choice. He suddenly wanted it in his mouth more than anything. That desire fled as soon as he felt the tip of Will’s cock at his entrance.

  “Please don’t tease me.” Malcolm’s voice sounded pathetic to his own ears, but he’d devolved into a ball of need.

  “Of course not.”

  Will eased his way inside, stretching Malcolm until he filled him. The sight of his lover entering him combined with the physical sensation sent a shudder of pleasure through Malcolm’s whole body. Will leaned forward, and Malcolm wrapped his legs around him. With the first thrust, Will bent down and kissed Malcolm’s chest. With the next he sucked. And the next he nipped with his teeth.

  “Oh, yes, Will.” The pace increased, as did the intensity of Will’s mouth. Malcolm felt sure his chest was littered with marks that would give him pleasure when he saw them in the morning. Each thrust of Will’s hips sent a new wave of pleasure through Malcolm, driving him higher and higher.
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br />   Malcolm crushed Will against his body, holding his lover to him as if he might get away. His hands searched for purchase against Will’s back, sliding in the thin sheen of sweat. No matter where his hands traveled, they still didn’t seem to pull him close enough. He desperately needed Will.

  “I love you,” Will said, as if he had read Malcolm’s thoughts, interpreted his need.

  Will pulled away, and Malcolm couldn’t contain a whimper. The disappointment was short lived. Will’s hand curled around Malcolm’s cock, and his lips descended on Malcolm’s once more. This time Will’s tongue kept time with the stroke of his hand and the thrust of his hips. Malcolm threaded his fingers in Will’s hair and stroked his back with his other hand. Both men emitted a mixture of groans and grunts as the tempo increased. Faster and faster Will pushed Malcolm to the edge. Each thrust awakened the welts from the belt rubbing against the bed, the pain and pleasure coalescing into an ecstasy that Malcolm’s body could no longer contain.

  An orgasm ripped through Malcolm with a force he hadn’t experienced before. His entire body shuddered. He couldn’t see or think or feel anything other than the waves of pleasure that crashed through him again and again. A few more thrusts and Will groaned as he released his own orgasm. He immediately pulled out and rolled to Malcolm’s side, pulling Malcolm to him.

  Malcolm acquiesced and settled his head on Will’s shoulder as Will stroked his hair.

  “What…I don’t…how…” Malcolm couldn’t form a coherent thought.

  Will chuckled. “That good, huh?”

  “Best…no words.” Dammit, the power of speech eluded him.

  “Don’t worry, I get the idea. That was…intense. More so than usual.”

  At least Will felt it too. Malcolm hated to think he’d been the only one to experience that intensity.

  They lay together in silence, Will’s fingertips massaging Malcolm’s scalp as Malcolm’s eyes drooped. After a few minutes, Will’s hand traveled down to one of the welts on Malcolm’s back, penetrating the sleepy fog that had consumed Malcolm’s mind.