PORN STARS... More Than Just Moans

by Joseph, Fabiola;L. Ramsey, Matthew

  “I guess you haven’t heard Ebony, now they’re saying once you go black, you’ll go running back,” Christina replied.

  We all laughed.

  “Okay, okay, you got me. You finally cracked a joke worth laughing at,” Ebony said, still laughing.

  “Speaking of the brothas, I’ll be back,” I said, as I headed over to get a better look at this tall, thug wannabe looking dude. I wanted to just walk up to him and introduce myself, but I was too nervous. The closer I got to him I could see how sexy he was. He looked to be in his early 20’s, about 6’1, gorgeous slanted eyes, clear smooth light brown skin, and some big juicy lips. His body looked slim, but toned like he played basketball, or worked out just enough to stay in shape. Of course I tried looking at his bulge but his long t-shirt was covering it up. He didn’t look like someone who was broke, and about to be homeless. I decided to go to the bar first. Luckily, I was cool with the bartender; he knew I was only nineteen at the time, but he still served me alcohol anyway. I ordered two shots of tequila, and two rum and cokes; one for myself, and one for Mr. Sexy since it looked like he was already drinking one. After I took both shots back to back, I had to get myself together since they were so strong. I turned around to head his way, but he was gone. I started looking all around, and spotted the girl he was talking to, but she was freaking some other dude on the small dance floor. I saw Christina and Ebony staring at me while those bitches were laughing, so I knew they were talking about me. I looked around some more, but he was nowhere in sight. I was going to head back over to the girls and tell them I brought each of them a drink, but Ebony was reading my mind, or she could see the disappointment written all over my face. She started pointing at the big window at the front of the bar, so I looked and there he was outside talking on his cell phone. I smiled and mouthed, “thank you!” to her, and damn near ran outside. I didn’t realize how close the window was beside the front door because as I bum rushed through it he was right there. Oh, shit, was all I could think. He was finishing his call while looking at me like I was crazy. I took a deep breath, and tried playing it off.

  “There you are! I was looking all over for you.”

  He looked around in both directions.

  “Are you talking to me?” he replied as he pointed at himself.

  I was really starting to feel the effects from the shots now, because I wasn’t as nervous.

  “Yes, I’m talking to you. I saw you in the bar, and thought you’d be perfect for what I have in mind. I went to the bar to get you a drink, and then you were gone. I thought I’d lost my opportunity to see if you wanted to model for this company I work for. Have you ever thought about modeling?”

  “No, not really, but I was supposed to model for the first time a few weeks ago, but stayed out too late partying and fucked up my opportunity.”

  I didn’t bother asking him anymore details about it since Ebony had already filled me in.

  “That sucks. Do you want to try again?”

  “Man, at this point I’m willing to do anything. No one wants to hire me, and I’m down to my last two hundred dollars, and I’m sure you know that’s not going to last me long in L.A.”

  “That’s what I wanted to hear,” I mumbled.

  “Say what?”

  “I said what are you doing here?”

  “Man, I needed a drink, and I was hoping to find a girl I could spend the night with. You know how it is.”

  I started laughing, but not because it was funny. I was feeling good and tipsy since I had already had a few drinks with the girls before taking those shots.

  “Why are you laughing?” he asked.

  “No, I’m sorry. I meant what are you doing here in L.A.?”

  “Oh, I moved out here about a month ago with a couple of my boys, but things didn’t work out. I didn’t really come here with a plan, but I like it so I’m hoping to find some work so I can stay. I don’t want to go back to Detroit, because it’s nothing but trouble for me there.”

  Later I found out that no one wanted to hire him because of his criminal record. He got arrested for possession of marijuana, and for theft. He said everyone he knew back home was either hustling, or involved in some type of gang activity so he knew if he went back he’d fall right back into that drama and end up in jail for breaking his probation.

  “I see! Well if you’re serious about making some money we should exchange numbers. The company I work for would definitely pay to take some pictures and videos of you.”

  “Is that right?” he asked as if he didn’t believe me.

  “Hell yeah!” I replied as I lustfully looked him up and down.

  “Why are you looking at me like that?”

  “Cuz, you are too sexy, but I’m sure you hear that all the time, huh?”

  “Man, go ahead with all that.” he said with a little smirk on his face. I think I even saw him blush a little.

  “Seriously though just give me a call, and I’ll make it happen.”

  “Okay, put your number in my cell.”

  I put one of the drinks down on the window frame as he handed me his cell phone. It was already at the new contact screen, so I entered my number and then saved it as “Krave, a money opportunity,” just in case he forgot who the hell Krave was when he came across the name in his address book. I took one last look at him, smiled, and then started walking back into the bar.

  “Krave? That’s your name?”

  “One of them.”

  “I got you. Well, I’m Tyree.”

  I turned back around.

  “It’s nice to meet you. I hope you call me.” I started to walk away again. “Oh, damn, your drink. Talking to you made me forget all about it. It’s right there. It’s a rum and coke. I thought I saw you drinking one earlier.”

  “I was, but I’m good. This girl told me she had a bad experience, so she’ll never drink anything out here from anyone she doesn’t know ever again. She said you never know what kind of drugs you might take unknowingly. Besides, the way you’ve been watching me all night, and with a name like Krave, I might have to watch out for you,” he said, and then laughed. I knew he was joking, but little did he know I was going to get that ass, literally, so I simply replied.

  “I understand.”

  I walked back inside, explained to the girls what happened, and then we enjoyed the rest of our night.

  A week went by, and I still didn’t hear from Tyree. I figured he found a job, or was stretching out the little bit of money he had left. After filming an interracial scene with this cute, barely 18-year old white boy for one of Fantasy Pictures websites, Thugs vs. Twinks, I went to the locker room to wash up and change my clothes. I got all of my stuff together, grabbed my bag, and was about to walk out when I realized I had two new voicemails. The first one was from my dad checking up on me, asking how I was doing. He said if I needed anything to let him know. I called him back later that day and told him I was doing great, but could use a new laptop. Sure enough the following week he shipped it to me. I could’ve brought it myself because I had plenty of money in the bank, but I like making him feel good. I think it makes him feel like he’s being a good Father. I made a mental note to slip the money that he paid for it back in his “hiding spot”, that he thinks I don’t know about when I went back home to visit him for Christmas last year. The other call was from Tyree asking if I could still set that interview up, and if so to call him back. I didn’t waste any time and called him right away. I thought I was about to get his voicemail, but he picked up after the fourth ring.

  “Hello!”

  “Tyree?”

  “Yeah, it’s me. Thanks for calling me back.”

  “No problem. I’m glad you finally called. Are you ready to make some money?”

  “Man, you have no idea. I’m broke and desperate at this point. Even if your company doesn’t hire me as a model, I’ll take any job that you can get me.”

  “Don’t worry if you decide that you really want to do this, and like it then y
ou’ll definitely be a model. There’s even some acting involved. Is that cool?”

  “I don’t know how good my acting skills are, but I’ll definitely try my best.”

  “I’m sure you’ll do just fine, but I have to warn you so you’re not caught off guard. Some of the modeling and acting involves nudity.”

  “Oh, for real?” he sounded a little disappointed, and he didn’t seem as excited as before.

  “Yeah, but it’s cool, and trust me it’s a professional environment. Besides it looked like you had a nice body. Don’t tell me you’re insecure, or scared to show areas that you might be lacking in.”

  “No never that. I don’t have any problems stripping, but that’s usually only when I’m about to get it in. I know I look good with or without clothes on. I keep my body right so if you ask me I should get paid to look this good, but I’ve never had anyone actually want to pay me to get naked. You see what I’m saying?”

  “Look at you sounding all confident, and conceited. I can’t wait to see if you have that same attitude when you’re in front of the camera.”

  “Trust me if I’m getting paid for it I will. I have nothing to be ashamed of.”

  “I hear that. Well, how about you meet me outside of Shadows tomorrow around noon. I’ll pick you up, and take you to the studio where I work. I’ll introduce you to Breeze, who’s one of the owners, and if you like what you see and hear we’ll go from there. There’s no pressure, so if you’re not feeling it then just say so. If you don’t want to do it I’ll treat you to a nice lunch, and I’ll drop you off where ever you need me to afterwards.”

  “All right then, I’ll see you tomorrow at noon.”

  I hung up, and I immediately called Breeze on my way home to make sure his offer was still good. I told him about Tyree the following day after I gave Tyree my number. Breeze informed me that if Tyree looked as hot as I described, and if I thought he had what it took to be part of Fantasy Pictures to bring him in for an interview. He said, “If I like his performance, and if he signs with us I’ll give you a referral bonus.”

  “Hello!”

  “What’s up Breeze?”

  “Hello Jamar. How are you?”

  “I’m great, and yourself?”

  “I’m fine. Is something wrong?”

  “No, everything is cool. I was calling you because Tyree finally called me back, and I was hoping you didn’t forget about what we discussed.”

  “I didn’t forget, and you know I’m always looking for new talent. This week, I’ll only be able to interview him tomorrow between 1:00 PM and 2:00 PM.”

  “Okay, great, that’s perfect because I’m meeting him downtown tomorrow at noon so that will give us enough time to meet you, but Breeze, there’s one thing that I failed to mention,”

  I paused because I wasn’t sure how Breeze would respond.

  “Go on, I’m waiting.”

  “The thing is, I’m not actually sure if he’s gay, or willing to do gay porn. I told him it was a modeling gig, so I hope it’s not a waste of your time.”

  “Jamar, how could you? This poor guy won’t know what he’s walking into tomorrow,” he said and then let out a devilish laugh.

  “I know Breeze, but he’s perfect. I know he really needs the money so I think he’ll like what you have to offer him. Plus, you don’t understand how bad I want him.”

  “Oh, you want him? Here I was thinking you just wanted the referral bonus.”

  “You have no idea. I’m going to need your help convincing him though.”

  “Trust me I’ll try my hardest, and you know me, I usually get what I want. I’m used to turning straight boys out, especially the broke ones. You haven’t worked on this yet but we have a series called “Straight Ass for Cash”, about half of the men claim to be straight, but the other half are gay but sell the fantasy really well. If your guy works out I’ll definitely need him for the next film.”

  “Thanks Breeze, but I need one more favor. I know you have a procedure, and use Domingo to test out all of the men, but I want to be the one who tests drives Tyree.”

  “Wow, Jamar, you’ve got it bad for this guy, and I see you’re really starting to enjoy being part of our business. I think my father was right about you when he said you’re going to have a long and successful career. I guess I’ll let you try him out, but I have to go now. I have some business to attend to.”

  “Thanks again Breeze. You won’t regret it.”

  Chapter 3

  “Welcome to Fantasy Pictures”

  I woke up wondering if the day before was all a fulfilling nightmare. I felt like I was alive again. I felt like I had just won a prize and I wanted to share it with everyone. I was awakened from my 19 year slumber and I was ready for the adventure of a life time. All night I dreamt of Breeze and all the things he had done to me. In-between my legs throbbed for more of his sex and I couldn’t wait to get it again. Although my mind was on him that whole day, I tried to go about life as if nothing had ever happened. I picked up my dry cleaning and went to the bank to set up an auto payment for my bills. It wasn’t until the teller told me that I didn’t have enough money in my account to cover all of them that I wondered if Breeze would ever call and give me the job.

  “Well how much am I short?” I asked hoping that this month; I would only be short a hundred dollars.

  “You’re about three hundred dollars short. Do you have any money in your savings to cover that?”

  Now if I would have hauled off and slapped this silly bitch, would I have been wrong? Now, with all of my accounts pulled up on that computer monitor that’s in her face, she knew the answer to that question better than I did.

  “Does it look like I have any fucking money in there?” I ask out of frustration with both the teller and my current situation.

  I could tell that she was restraining herself as the red in her checks appeared. I stood there and thought about it. There are only so many things that I could go without. I need my electricity and water so that was a must. It looked like my car insurance and cable was going to be put on the back burner for the month.

  “Can I have my damn ID back please?” I asked as I snatched my belongings off the counter. I knew that this wasn’t her fault but I didn’t care. I was mad at the world and was ready to blow up on anyone that I came across. It wasn’t even really because of my financial situation, I had been there before. It was because I felt that I had wasted my time. I felt that I had lowered myself and fucked a stranger on the hopes that I would become a porn star. Plus, my self-esteem was lowered. Why hadn’t he called? Wasn’t I good enough? What didn’t I do right? On one side of things, I had the best time of my life, and on the other hand, I felt inadequate. Fuck this shit, I thought. I just needed to go home, jump in a hot bath and smoke a fat one. I jumped into my car that would soon be uninsured and headed to the nearest weed spot. This was my only vice so far. I had always made sure to stay away from liquor after seeing what it had done to my mother. To me, weed was harmless; all I had ever done after smoking was eat and sleep.

  I took a 20 out of the fifty dollars that I had left for groceries and brought a DUB. It would be enough to fuck me up and maybe put me in a better mood. Or at least take my mind off of the things that were bothering me. Once home, I dropped my bags at the door and headed straight for the couch. I let my body sink into it as I picked up my palmistry book. It was wide and long with a hard cover. It was my favorite thing to roll my blunts on. As I broke the lime green buds in-between my fingers, I knew that soon I would be in a foggy heaven, and I wasn’t wrong. The smoke invaded my body and made its way up to my brain. Within five minutes of my first drag, I was high. I walked over to the stereo that was on my book case and turned on Alice Smith’s For Lover’s Dreamers and Me. As her smooth yet deep voice swam through my apartment, I let her words flow through my soul.

  When I wake up in the morning time, I like to see you sleeping by my side. I think about the nights we had before, want to give you this and
more, let you know I truly adore you.

  Every time the first song on her CD came on, it was like I was hearing it for the first time. The song Dream said everything that I had ever wanted to say to a man but never did. It was also everything that I wanted to hear myself. I swayed my way to the bathroom and let the almost too hot water run until it filled my small tub. I slipped off the little dress that I had on and stepped into the tub. I slowly sat down to let my body adjust to the hot water. As I relaxed, I lit the half smoked blunt and sang along to Alice’s Woodstock. Midway through the song, I thought I heard my cell phone ring. After trying to listen through the music, I decided that I hadn’t heard anything after all. If it did ring, I wasn’t in the mood to care.

  After an hour of soaking and bathing, I was ready to move my one woman party to the bedroom. I barely dried off before visiting cloud nine again. Mid-way through my little piece of heaven, my phone rang. I thought about letting it go to voicemail, but I didn’t want to take a chance and miss Breeze’s call.

  “This better be good,” I said into the receiver. I didn’t even bother to look at the caller ID.

  “I guess my little Jezebel isn’t in a good mood today.”

  My heart skipped a beat when I heard him say Jezebel. I still wasn’t used to it but it sounded right rolling off of his lips.

  “Oh, I’m sorry; I didn’t think that you were going to call.”

  “What are you crazy or something? How could I not call you back, you blew my mind, Jezebel.

  I wanted so badly to tell him that I felt the same way, but I didn’t have the courage to do so.

  “So you have good news for me or should I just kill myself now?” I asked trying to lighten the mood with a little joke.

  “Well, you better get your gun, rope, knife or pills ready. I’m sorry to say that it’s not looking good.”

  My mind had begun to spin. How could I not get this contract? He just told me that I blew his mind. All of my plans to catch up on my bills and really save some money for a rainy day went out of the window, and I wanted to jump right after them.