Love Is Crazy (Love Is… #1)

by Abby Brooks

  Just when she was about to lose control, he came with one shuddering thrust of his hips and wrapped both of his arms around her. She dropped her head onto his shoulder while her center clenched around him, still contracting, both of them panting, until that damned giggle rose in the back of her throat. She tried to swallow against it, but it came out anyway, echoing against the cheap tile.

  “That was funny?” he whispered, sliding out of her, eliciting one more gasp before zipping up his pants and getting himself set to rights.

  Juliet shook her head. “No, it was wonderful. I’ve just never done it in a bathroom before.”

  “And that makes you giggle?”

  Juliet hung her head. “I giggle when I’m nervous.”

  Ian brushed a bit of hair back from her face. “You never, ever have to be nervous with me around. I got you.”

  “I know,” she replied. “It’s just new to me. To be taken care of.”

  “Seems like this is a day of firsts, then.”

  She hopped off the sink and picked her shorts off the floor, thankful her panties had stayed neatly tucked inside. “It was definitely that.” After she dressed and took a moment to smooth her hair into something that didn’t look like she’d just had hot bathroom sex, she looked at Ian, at a loss. “Now what?”

  “Well, hot stuff, we walk out of here hand in hand, heads held high.”

  “But what if someone sees?”

  “So what? Do you know any of these people?”

  “No, but I might one day.”

  Ian linked his arm in hers and pulled her towards the door. “How about this, I can just about guarantee that anyone who sees us is gonna know what we just did and they’re all gonna be jealous, at least on some level.”

  She couldn’t really argue with that, although some part of her was afraid they’d get in trouble or something. Public lewdness? Wasn’t that a thing? But it didn’t really matter because they couldn’t stay in here all day, and it extra double didn’t matter because Ian had unlocked the door and was pulling it open.

  Pulling it open to show an older woman leaning against the wall, arms crossed over her ample stomach, fiddling with her phone, waiting. She looked up, shock playing in her eyebrows, and then a knowing smile slid across her face.

  “Hello, Mrs. Cernshaw,” said Ian, pulling Juliet along after her body went rigid with fear.

  “Ian,” said the woman, greeting him with a twist of her head and a glimmer in her eye. “I’d tell ya to have a nice day, but it looks like you already have.”

  Juliet couldn’t stop herself from giggling and she stumbled after Ian into the restaurant.

  “Head held high, Juliet,” Ian whispered to her through the side of his mouth.

  She was pretty damn sure that everyone in the busy restaurant was looking at them, aware of what they’d done, snickering at them with each other, but with Ian’s hand firmly wrapped around hers and her chin up and her eyes straight, that sense of power returned. That’s right. She’d had sex in the bathroom. With the hottest guy in the whole damn town, nonetheless. After skydiving. How many of these people could say they’d done even one of those things? Not many. She was pretty darn certain of that.

  Ian paid the bill and led her outside, letting go of her hand only to wrap an arm around her waist and pull her close. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

  “No. That’s all you.”

  “I won’t argue that I’m pretty amazing myself, but you’re stealing the show, doll.” He pulled her through the blazing June afternoon, heat seeping up through the black pavement and swirling around her legs. A blast of hot air fell out of the car when he opened the door for her and Ian told her to wait while he got the car started and the AC blasting.

  “How’re you holding up?” he asked over the hood of the car.

  “My legs aren’t very interested in holding me up at all, thank you very much.”

  “Well, that’s good to hear, but that’s not what I’m talking about.” Ian smiled. “How’s your energy? I’ve got one more stop planned, if you think you can manage.”

  “I don’t know how much more excitement I can handle, but I’m willing to find out.”

  “That’s the spirit.” Ian ducked down and climbed into the much more tolerable car. “But, this is a very tame trip. Boring almost.”

  “I’m not gonna lie and tell you I’m not a little relieved.” Juliet relaxed into the soft leather and let her head fall back against the headrest. “What do you have in mind?”

  “I thought we’d go to the hardware store and look at some paint samples.”

  She actually loved that idea. She had all kinds of ideas for color palettes and had thought more than once that she could be working on little details like that in the evenings after Ian had gone home. She told him as much as he navigated the streets of Bliss and pulled into the parking lot of the hardware store.

  “Well, that’s all well and good, with one stipulation,” he said as he put the car in park and pulled out a car shade for the window, muttering about how he should have remembered it the first time.

  “Oh, yeah,” she asked, unnerved by his stern tone of voice. “Afraid you won’t like the color I choose or that I won’t do a good enough job?”

  “No, nothing like that, silly. I just don’t want you working from sunup to sundown. And let’s be honest, there’s a fairly decent chance you’d do just that.”

  Julz couldn’t disagree. Not completely. “But I like to stay busy.”

  “Me too, but sometimes we’ve got to sit still a little. It’s good for the soul. Or so I’ve heard.”

  He led her into the store and plopped her in front of the paint samples, nodding his head in agreement with most of her choices. She chattered away about the way she envisioned the house looking when they were done, about all the potential it had, how happy she was to be there.

  “What?” she asked with a little crinkle of her nose when she realized he’d stopped answering and was just smiling at her.

  “You.”

  “What about me?”

  “I like you. I think you’re beautiful. And super cute right now with your ‘been fucking’ hair and your tan legs poking out of those little shorts, going on about all the same things I love about that house.”

  Juliet’s eyes went wide and her hands went to her hair, trying to smooth the little wisps away from her face.

  Ian took both her wrists in his hands and gently pulled them away. “Don’t. I like it.”

  They talked a little more about the paint and even made a few decisions on color. Ian was paying for several gallons for the kitchen and living room when Juliet finally realized how much money he’d spent today. Guilt twisted in her stomach and she started chewing on her lip.

  “And,” Ian said, not noticing. “If you run out of a color, you could just run down and buy another gallon or two. Keep the receipts and I’ll reimburse you the next time we get together.”

  Her stomach clenched again at the thought of dipping into her money envelope. She was going to have to find a job. Soon. And she was pretty sure Ian wouldn’t like it when she brought it up. He genuinely seemed to like taking care of her, spoiling her with little surprises and making sure she had everything she ever needed. And, if she was being honest, she liked it, too, especially because it meant she had plenty of time to spend with him. But, it was also just as important that she stand on her own two feet. If everything she had came from Ian, well, where would that leave her if things didn’t work out? With a few boxes of old stuff jammed into the back of her Hyundai, that’s where.

  “So, here’s the thing,” she said over the rattle of the cart wheels on the pavement in the parking lot. “I think I might need to get a job. I’ve got some money, but not a lot. And it really stresses me out to see that number dwindle without knowing I have a source of income. I don’t want to take time away from the renovations, and I really don’t want to take time away from being with you, but…” she held out her hands and shrugged h
elplessly. “I thought maybe I could get a waitressing job, something with variable hours. I don’t have a lot of expenses, but, I do need to have a way to make money.”

  She didn’t know why this conversation made her so nervous. Ian understood the way the world worked and surely, he’d understand her need for an income. It wasn’t that she expected him to react badly or yell at her or anything like that. It’s just that a job would be a serious time commitment. It would mean the end of this little blip of fantasy life, spending her days working with Ian and her evenings playing with him. She wasn’t ready to say goodbye to that and she definitely wasn’t ready for him to start thinking that she was trying to create distance between them.

  He was quiet while he opened the trunk and put the paint and supplies inside. Still didn’t say anything when he opened the door for her and she slid inside. He didn’t close the door so she could enjoy the breeze and her nerves went haywire waiting for him to come back from putting the cart in the corral. Calm down, silly. If he’s mad, then it’s just another sign that he’s not the kind of guy you need. Of course, her heart fluttered around down in her stomach at the thought because so far, he’d been everything she’d ever needed and then some.

  She looked up expectantly as he lowered himself into the car and pulled the shades out of the window. She waited for him to crank the AC before they both closed their doors, the heavy thunks sounding small compared to the sound her heart was making.

  “A job would be silly,” he said, pulling out of the parking spot. Juliet’s heart sank. “I could just pay you for the time you spent on the renovations.”

  “But you’re already giving me free rent for that.” She held her breath for his response, needing him to give her a good reason for not wanting her to find a job.

  He blew air out his mouth and checked the mirrors, the space between his eyes tight. “That’s true.” He waited about a million years to finish his thought. “Here’s the thing. I’m feeling a little greedy about my time with you. I’m not sure I’m ready to give up even a minute of it.”

  Well, that was a pretty decent reason. “I understand. Believe me, the fact that I’ve waited this long to even consider looking for a job is a testament to how much I like spending time with you. But, it makes me nervous. My entire life savings is in an envelope in my room, and sure, I only take out a little at a time, but that money is finite. I’m living a fantasy right now.” She turned in her seat, put a hand on his thigh. “A wonderful, exquisite fantasy that I don’t want to end. Not at all. But, that money is going to run out.”

  “What would you do? What did you do in New York?”

  “I’m not sure that I want to do what I did in New York.” She sighed, the thought of having to find a job dampening her mood. “I don’t know, like I said, waitressing? Something simple.”

  Ian shook his head. “You’d be wasted as a waitress.”

  “Yeah, but I’d get to spend time with you. Maybe only take part time hours. Match them up to when you’d be working on the other houses, or doing whatever other work you have to do to keep things running.”

  “I know it makes sense for you to work. I know you’re gonna need an income. But, do me a favor. Live the fantasy with me a little longer. And we can look for a job that would suit you together.” He finally smiled again and her heart unclenched.

  “I don’t know.” She swallowed, wanting to do exactly what he suggested, but not sure if it was the smartest path. Her head was a mess of should’s and want’s and supposed to’s. “I just need to know that I can stand on my own two feet.”

  “But you already know that. You’ve done that your whole life, haven’t you? And here I am, more than capable of helping you with your finances, asking you to let me help you.”

  Juliet’s head and heart went to war and it was a few seconds before she could find her voice around all the conflict. “I just can’t let myself be controlled.” Her words were a whisper, the voice of fear, the voice of the woman who’d signed a terrible contract that let a man do terrible things to her.

  Ian pulled off the road and flicked on the emergency lights. “Oh, my angel,” he said, turning in his seat, his expression soft. “There’s a difference between being controlled and being taken care of. I’m not ordering you to stay unemployed, I’m not trying to make you weak and reliant on me. I’m asking you to stay with me because I feel like I can’t take a full breath when we’re apart. Because you are my sun and the world goes dark when I’m not with you. I’m here to help. I want to help. And if you need a job in order to feel in control, then fine. We’ll find one that’ll get you some money and still let us be together. But if you need a job in order to feel like you’re doing the right thing, then let me just say this. My right thing is taking care of you and it would make me feel like I’m being the best man I can be if you let me make you feel safe.”

  Juliet blinked back tears, her voice obliterated by a rush of emotion. His words gave her heart all the ammunition it needed and her head sulked in a corner, admitting defeat. “You just keep proving that whole Ian-Moore-is-amazing thing, don’t you?” she finally managed to ask.

  “I hope that what I’m proving is that I care a lot about you and your happiness matters to me.”

  “Yeah,” she said, her voice cracking on the word. “That too.” Juliet blinked back the tears that blurred her vision. How did he keep managing to speak directly to her heart like that? “I can’t tell you how good it feels to know I matter.” And then her throat constricted against any further words and she swiped at her eyes. She refused to cry in front of Ian.

  “Well, hot stuff, give me enough time and I’ll show you just exactly how much you matter. Because this,” he made a broad gesture with his hands, “is just the tip of the iceberg.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Juliet didn’t start looking for a job. And when she started to worry about how that made her a bad person, or how she wasn’t pulling her own weight, she just thought back to what Ian had said that day in the car. And she felt better. It didn’t make any sense. There wasn’t any logic to it, none at all. She should be terrified and embarrassed, living off some guy she’d only known for a couple weeks, waking up excited to see him and falling asleep with his name on her lips.

  But she wasn’t embarrassed. She was happy.

  “You be good,” she said to Lulu as she closed and locked the front door, on her way to meet Ian at his house for dinner. This was going to be the first time she’d been to his house and she couldn’t wait to see it. You could tell a lot about a person by how they lived and she never got tired of learning more about the amazing Ian Moore. He’d given her a set of handwritten directions and she pulled them out of her purse, smiling at the precise letters neatly marching along the lines of the page. He’d even included the number of miles she’d spend on each road before she made a turn and important landmarks to help her know she was on the right track.

  A storm bloomed in the evening sky. Dark clouds, bulging and heavy with rain, poured across the horizon and wind whipped her hair around her shoulders and her dress around her thighs as she ran for her car. As she drove, she watched the ocean churning and thrashing against the shore. Even like this, all frenzied and dangerous, it was beautiful. Would she ever grow tired of seeing it? Would she ever grow numb to the beauty?

  It didn’t take long to find Ian’s house, which was, of course, on the beach. It was a lot like hers, only bigger, and in better shape, and way more secluded. His driveway was paved rather than gravel. She parked her car next to an unfamiliar vehicle and got out. Juliet held her hair in one hand to keep it from flying around in the wind and ran up the steps to the front door. Ian had left the main door open for her.

  “Hello?” she called through the screen door, knocking lightly on the frame.

  “Hey!” Ian called from somewhere deep inside the house. “Come on in. I’ll be right there.”

  She pushed through the door and the wind slammed it shut with a bang. She looked a
round. “Something smells amazing!” She was hesitant to move much further into the house without him. “How many cars do you have, anyway?” she asked, bending over to admire a picture of the Moore family on a small table near the door.

  “That’s not his car,” came an unfamiliar male voice. “It’s mine.” The owner of the voice peeked out through a doorway at the end of a hall that extended down past a set of stairs. The warm smile and dark hair marked him as most definitely a Moore. No doubt about that in the least. Juliet headed down the hall towards what turned out to be a huge kitchen with granite counters and stainless steel appliances. White cabinets and clean lines.

  She found Ian leaning on the counter, watching his brother work. He straightened when she walked in, opening his arms to her and kissing her deeply when she stepped into them. “You didn’t think I was going to cook a whole dinner myself, did you? Ruin my chances at impressing the hell outta you?” he asked, pressing his forehead to hers.

  “You’ve already impressed the hell outta me. I’m sure you’d have made something delicious.”

  Ian’s brother—Harrison, if she remembered correctly—snorted and shook his head. “No,” he said with a gleam in his eye, even though he kept his attention on his work. “He’d have made something akin to charred poison, or it would have been cold cuts and cheese.” He wiped his hands on a dishtowel and offered Julz his hand. “I’m Harry by the way. We’ve not officially met, although I feel like I know you after listening to Ian go on and on. And on.” Harry met her eyes briefly, only to let his gaze flicker away.