Destructive Choices

by L. U. Ann

  "Hey there," Blake says. As I walk into the house, he pulls me into a soft hug while an excited Cinnamon, ready for some love, dances around our feet.

  Oh, how I missed him.

  "Did you just get here?" I ask, wondering why he is here alone.

  "Are you kidding? I'll take being here alone to wait for everyone to bring you home over being stuck in a car full of hens going 'cluck, cluck, cluck'." He exaggerates, flapping his arms.

  "Oh, stop it! You know you love it." I say teasingly.

  "Lacey, you need to rest." Devon leads me over to the couch. "Let me guess. You want something, or shall I say someone?" He smiles at Lane who is walking towards me with Evan.

  I'm scared to hold him if I'm walking. It's too much right now and I'd never forgive myself if I dropped him. Ah, that warm and fuzzy feeling from earlier holds no comparison to the feel of my little man in my arms.

  Chatter buzzes around me while I focus on Evan.

  "How are you feeling, Love?" Becca plops down next to me.

  "Fabulous." I can't disguise my joy.

  "Well, don't overdo it. Okay, Love? You're here and you don’t want to do something that will put you back in the infirmary," she continues while rubbing Cinnamon's little cream puff head. He has taken up residence for the evening in her lap.

  "Can we please stop talking about me and my injuries?"

  Becca acts as if I've stunned her.

  "Don't play games with me. Enough is enough. Dish the dirt." I request, looking into her eyes.

  She quickly averts her eyes. "There isn't anything to tell, lo–"

  I cut her off with a shake of my head. "Nope. It's not going to work. Something is going on. I haven't heard one whisper or inkling of your Smexy Lucas. I saw the looks you and Doctor Hunkalicious were giving each other. I want to know what's going on with you and Lucas, and I want to know now."

  "It's nothing. I just...” She shrugs her shoulders and rolls her eyes at me. If she wants to take her time telling me, fine. I'll wait. I have nothing but time to wait. She's looking around the room as if she's going to jump into someone else's conversation at any moment.

  "Uh uh, don't. I know that look. I know you. Spill."

  "Fine, we broke up. Okay?" Becca says curtly, refusing to look at me.

  She is definitely uncomfortable. Evan makes an expected loud squeal, causing her to turn my way. I know she can feel my eyes on her.

  "What?!" she asks in a very irritated tone that sends Cinnamon in search of somewhere a little quieter.

  "What happened?" I ask quietly, trying to calm her down. It’s evident this is a very sore subject.

  "Lacey, shit has happened. I mean shit. Shit you haven't had to deal with, thank God, or you would have been even more bat-shit crazy. Caine was going to take Evan to Maine."

  "What?" I yell, startling Evan and triggering a cry from him. "Mommy's sorry, Sweet Pea.” Looking up for assistance, my eyes land on just whom I need. “Mindy, can you take Evan for a minute? I have a rocking chair in my room where you could rock him."

  She excitedly picks up Evan after I kiss the top of his head, and begins to walk towards the hall. I don't want to let him go, but I need to find out what's going on so I can protect Evan.

  "I know my way around here. Jeez, you'd think a girl couldn’t find her way to the make-up counter. Did you not realize I've been–" Mindy abruptly stops, knowing she’s said the wrong thing. Eyeing everyone, she quickly turns around with Evan and continues to my room.

  My heart stops. Panic is quickly setting in.

  "What is going on? Caine was going to take Evan to Maine?" I ask, grabbing the edge of the sofa to steady my nerves while begging for someone to start giving me answers.

  Grandma Pain is the first to speak.

  "Sweet Child, that is one of the reasons why I am here. Besides any chance I'll take to see my great-grandson and sweet granddaughter, I needed to set that boy straight like I did with his Mama years ago."

  Set straight?

  “Lacey, do you remember when I was kind of mean to you in the hospital and ran out?" Becca interjects. "It was the day before Caine was leaving. Lane, your mom, and I had been up late the night before arguing with that douche bag. That’s when we decided it was best to call Grandma Pain to solicit her help. Caine was dead set on taking Evan with him, without you knowing about it."

  I can feel my skin beginning to heat up from the anger of Caine’s escapades.

  "There was no way we were going to let him. We were grasping at straws because he’s Evan's sperm donor, unfortunately.” Lane glances at Devon for a moment.

  What was that about?

  Why is Lane looking at Devon? Did he tell them how he feels about me? Caine was going to take Evan away from me. Holy shit, this is a soap opera.

  Mom tries to comfort me.

  “Sweetie, don’t look so worried. We knew exactly who to call. While you were unconscious, Grandma Pain began blowing up our phones because she hadn’t heard from you. She had missed two weekly calls and refused to take Caine’s excuses that you were busy. She had no idea you’d been in an accident, but was on one of the next flights up here.”

  Grandma Pain relishes in the love we all can feel Mom has for her. She must have made one hell of an impression during her last visit.

  “Love, I’m sorry we kept this from you, but we were scared shitless of how you would react even though we had it under control.” Becca confesses.

  “Okay, so what is going to happen? Is he going to try to take Evan? How do I keep him safe?” I ask, trying to calm my shaking body, and in fear of what the future holds.

  Grandma Pain stands, and approaches my side. “Sweet Child, there is nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about. If that boy knows what’s good for him, he’ll listen to me.”

  “What makes you so certain?”

  “He’s greedy just like his mother. Plain and simple. I told him I would write him out of my will if he didn’t straighten up and do the right thing by keeping Evan with his mommy.” She waves her hand as if it’s no big deal.

  I shake my head, not knowing if I will ever feel Evan is safe.

  "Sweet Child, I know Caine will never hurt Evan. No matter how greedily he behaves, he treated Evan very well while you were in the hospital. I don't think you have a thing to worry about."

  The overwhelming bout of emotions is too much for me to handle right now. I feel like a complete and utter wreck. The reasons aren’t sane, to say the least, so why should I bother holding in my emotions?

  "I’m home. I should be rejoicing in the fact that I get to see my baby boy every day, but Caine is stealing this happy moment. He’s stealing my sense of relief and freedom. Why does he always have to have this hold on Evan and me? Is he doing this deliberately to torment me? Did he try so hard to change, and when I wouldn’t take him back, he became vengeful?" I exclaim, shedding tears. "I remembered everything from that night when I woke up from the coma. I didn't say anything, not one word, because I was trying to protect Evan. I knew Caine would take it out on him, and now look at him trying to steal my baby." I throw my head into my hands, unable to control the pain Caine causes me. I cry for everything he has done to this family, to me, to Evan. The room is silent except for my sobs.

  Ugh! What the hell do I do now?

  “Can I have a minute with Lacey?” Devon asks from the sidelines of our family drama.

  ‘Sure’, ‘no problem’, and ‘absolutely’, sound from around the family room. I love how quickly the room empties, as if they can’t wait to remove themselves from the situation. Devon sits where Becca was only seconds ago, and brings my hand to his lips.

  “I’m not going to lie to you and say everything is okay. I’m not going to sit here and say there is nothing to worry about. What I am going to tell you is, I would love nothing more than to help you figure it out, if only as a friend. I don’t like how he treated you, Lacey, and continues to manipulate and control you.” He pleads for me to fight and n
ot put up a white flag, which would allow Caine to win by influence.

  Bringing his fingers to my hair, he brushes it over my shoulder, while looking into my eyes.

  “Here is what we need to do. First, we need to let you heal. Secondly, we need to find a lawyer so that you can file a separation. And last, but certainly not least, we need to get you smiling again.” He takes his thumb and traces it under my eye, and in this moment, all I want to do is lean into his hand. There is so much comfort in his touch, his words, even his presence. He’s too good to be true. No way on God’s green earth does a guy like this really exist.

  Ignoring what he said, I continue to panic.

  “But what if he tries to take Evan?” I can’t let him do that. I can’t. I need to always keep Evan in my sights. Should I run away with him? Will that solve the problem?

  Turning away from Devon, I allow more tears to spill, while fear overcomes me.

  Bringing his hand in my hair so that I will face him, he gets my full attention.

  “Stop! Grandma Pain already said she won’t let it happen, and neither will I. I promise you.”

  I feel as though I'm taking advantage of him and his resources.

  “Devon, I appreciate everything you’ve done, but you’re in school and your lacrosse team is counting on you. I can’t have you messed up in all of this.”

  Closing my eyes and shaking my head, I embrace the reality, my reality. I will never be free from Caine. Never. Just as I’m about to list the reasons he should leave me alone and go on about his life, his lips are on mine. It’s not a quick, chaste kiss. No, the heat of his lips burns me, lighting a fire within my chest. I place my arms on his biceps to brace myself. The kiss has thrown me off as if I'm crashing into a fairytale. The kiss makes me lose all thoughts, worries, and fears. His lips linger a few seconds more, before we both are overcome with the strengthening passion, deepening the kiss. The kiss is interrupted by a throat clearing. Crap, I forgot where and who I am in that kiss. Holy shit, I've never been kissed like that.

  “I have no problem shutting you up if I have to, especially if I get to do it like that.” His contagious grin causes me to smile.

  I roll my eyes at the ‘aw’ coming from behind Devon. Becca.

  “Oh and don’t forget, classes are over and next week is the end of the lacrosse season. So, you may just be stuck with lonely ol’ boring me. Well, except during my internship,” he finishes.

  “So, have we been successful in our little family reunion? Are you done freaking out on us?”

  I nod at Becca, taking the tissue from Mom as everyone comes back into the room.

  “Okay, can I go get my little man? I’m dying to play with him before I need to head out,” Becca says.

  I smile at all the love in this one room for Evan. It is overwhelming. He and I are so fortunate to have this.

  Becca steals Evan from Mindy, but all too soon, Grandma Pain steps in and steals him from Becca. It’s very comical to watch how flustered Becca gets when she goes head to head with Grandma Pain. It’s a funny sight and one I could probably sell tickets to.

  Grandma Pain is the first to turn in for the night, followed by Mom. Becca and Lane help me get settled for bed while Devon rocks Evan, warming my heart. Soon after putting Evan in the crib, Devon and Becca leave so that I can get some rest. Devon has a team practice tomorrow followed by his internship rounds. He kisses me good-bye and tells me he would see me in less than twenty-four hours. Becca rolls her eyes.

  “Lane?”

  She’s sleeping in the room with me on an air mattress. She’s worried I might need something or Evan may wake me. She’s an incredible sister.

  “Yeah, what’s up?”

  “Where’s Dad? I don’t know how to deal with everything I’ve learned, and with him not being here.” I blow a loud breath. “I don’t know what to do. He’s my dad, but if he did that to Uncle Tony, how can I live under the same roof as him? How can I be here with Evan? Any time spent here is putting him in danger.”

  “Lacey, listen. I’ve known for a while. I’m sorry you have to hear this for the first time now. Mom didn’t tell me until after we all found out you were pregnant. Mom was a mess when you traveled to Florida with Caine. I thought she was going in a dark place again and I wouldn’t leave her alone. Come to find out, she was freaking out that there was a possibility you would have a boy and she was worried about how to protect him.” Lane throws her arm over her eyes.

  “I’m sorry. I had no idea. I guess I really don’t understand why Mom didn’t leave. And why she was okay with him not going to jail. I honestly think we all would have been better off had he gone to jail. We may not have had to move to our second home in Florida, and she wouldn't have had to return to work. She could be a vibrant woman. Not someone who deals with neck and back pain every single day.” I sigh.

  “I know. We can’t question why Mom did what she did. People do things for all different reasons. Why did you stay with Caine for so long?”

  I roll my eyes; she’s right.

  “I’m glad she finally lifted some of the weight from her shoulders because I’ve helped her keep an eye on Evan. Never, and I mean never, has Evan been alone with him.”

  “But wait, Mom said….”

  “No, I was here with him all along. I’ve kept very close tabs on Evan, and where he was with Caine, just in case he decided to drop Evan off with little or no notice. I made it work, Lacey. Was it stressful? Yes. Did I enjoy the creative excuses I had to come up with? No. But I kept my nephew safe."

  “I can’t believe everything you and Mom have had to do. Thank you for keeping my little man safe. Lane, I cannot imagine life without him. What if Caine pulls some trick and takes Evan away? I don’t know what I’ll do.” I’m stricken with guilt.

  Lane laughs. “Lacey, have you not listened to Devon?”

  Confused by her words, I stay silent.

  “That guy is head over heels in love with you and won't allow anyone to hurt Evan.”

  “What do you mean? How?” In love with me? Devon's in love with me? My chest hurts from how fast my heart is beating.

  “He should be the one to tell you, but his family is well-known, and they have a lethal team of lawyers that apparently no one messes with. Devon was telling us a stor–” Lane stops abruptly.

  “Lane? What on earth went on behind my back?” I ask, wondering for a moment whether or not I can handle learning any more. I feel overwhelmed just from what I know.

  “Lacey, you need to relax and let Devon talk to you. I cannot believe someone can be over the moon in love with someone like he is with you." She says with a hint of sarcasm, maybe to lighten the mood. "I've always wanted you to find love like I did with Blake. So you better watch it. I will make Becca and Grandma Pain deal with you if you mess it up with him.”

  “La—“

  “I’m not trying to marry you off already. I’m just saying that that guy will do anything for you. Did I tell you how happy I am that you’re home?” Lane changes the subject, switching positions on the loud air mattress.

  “I love you, too, Lane. Thank you for everything you did for Evan while I couldn’t care for him. I am so thankful for everyone and appreciate everything. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay you.” I yawn the final words.

  “Love you, too. Now go to sleep. We can talk more tomorrow. Oh my goodness, did you know how well Grandma Pain can cook?" Lane says cheerfully. "Mmm, I think breakfast is now my favorite meal.”

  I try to fluff my pillow. It feels so nice to be back in my bed compared to the one at the hospital. At one point, I even thought I had bedsores, but it ended up being my muscles aching from the physical therapy.

  “Yeah, she’s incredible in the kit…”

  I may have fallen asleep in the midst of that conversation. Not sure.

  Chapter Six and a Half

  "Lacey, please wake up." Huh?

  Lane's panic wakes me from a deep sleep. She's crying but taking charge o
f the situation.

  "It's Mom. I need your help." She's still shaking my shoulders to get me up.

  "Okay." I throw the covers off and jump up, following Lane to Mom's room.

  "The ambulance is here and I need your help finding out what she took."

  What? I'm stopped in the doorway trying to figure out what happened this time.

  "Lacey, snap out of it. We can freak out later. Come on."

  We begin raiding Mom's personal life. I feel guilty going through her things but we need to find out what she took. She always leaves a list when she takes matters into her own hands. How could we miss how desperate she was? Lane and I are learning the signs of depression when her bipolar begins to roller coaster. Lane and I are always around to help Mom pick up the pieces. Not our father.

  Determined, I look around. Lane's throwing bottles from the medicine cabinet into a Walmart bag.

  "Find the note Lacey!" Lane yells, not even looking at me.

  I look around and wonder if it's in her nightstand drawer. Rushing over, I pull it open and my heart drops.

  "Lane!"

  "Lacey, if you don't get up and shower now, we are all moving miles away from here. You stink to high Heaven, almost worse than the pulping section of a paper mill."

  "Grandma Pain, you know I took a shower the other day before I left the hospital. It's only been two days. I don't stink and I'm beginning to realize why you were named pain." I cannot wait to be able to move around like I used to, without pain, without limitations. I don't think I'll ever take it for granted again.

  "I don't care what my name is. That boy is gonna be here any second, and you are not fit for company or a trip to the lawyer's office! Get your heinie in gear, or Imma gonna do it for you."

  The doorbell rings and I can hear her trail of obscenities as she works her way to the door. It's been nice having her here. My father has yet to show his face and I'm happy about that. Apparently, he is staying at a motel. I'm still trying to wrap my head around Caine's intentions to hurt me by taking Evan. I don't need the added stress of my father's repulsive behavior on top of all that.