by V. R. Knight
I looked at him.
“What?” I asked.
He smiled.
“My jacket. Why don’t you keep it?”
I was shocked. He loves this jacket and he’s letting me take it?
“Are you sure?” I asked.
He nodded, so sure of himself.
“Ok,” I pulled it back and I felt like I was wrapped in his arms. Though, it had a slight smell of blood on it.
“Um, thanks.” I said.
He nodded. I put my scarf on and gloves then went around the bed to him.
“I’ll come back tomorrow.” he smiled as I leaned down and kissed his cheek. I pulled back and looked into his eyes, then gently kissed his lips. He sat still savoring the kiss. I pulled back completely and smiled.
“See you tomorrow.”
He nodded as I left.
Three days later:
School was out for the holidays so I didn’t have to worry about going. I went to see Zane everyday and stayed till 6 or 7. Most of the time he would sleep and when he wasn’t asleep, I would read to him or we would just talk or laugh. We fought about 2 times about something stupid. But we always got over it. I sat in the familiar chair and watched an old episode of House.
“Dude, this guy is a jerk.” Zane said pointing to the TV.
I rolled my eyes.
His arm was out of the cast but still in an Ace Wrap and he couldn’t move it that much. Apparently it wasn’t a brake just a really bad sprain. His bruises were healing up good.
“He’s not!” I said.
He looked at me, his hair messy and falling to the side more. “Ok! So he is a little bit.” I admitted. He smirked. He was wearing a dark blue t shirt and plaid sweat pants. “But come on! He’s hot for 40 years old!”
He laughed and shook his head.
“You need to get out more,” he said.
I frowned.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
He sighed.
“You’re in here everyday with me. It’s Saturday go out and have fun or something.”
I rolled my eyes.
“What if I don’t want to have fun?”
He raised an eyebrow.
“You do. And once I get out of here we are going to have some fun.”
He winked at me. I laughed.
“And what makes you think I want to have fun with you?”
He frowned.
“Well, I guess you lose out then.”
I laughed again.
“OK, whatever. I have to run to the store anyhow and get food.” I stood up and got my things together and placing Zane’s leather jacket around me. I had worn it all week. I smiled as I walked out. He waved. I got out into the city and sighed as I went to the local market. Mom and dad would be home today. They were getting out early because they didn’t need the counsoeling anymore. They were ok. Surprise, surprise. I thought coldly. I went into the store and grabbed some frozen pizzas, a small already made salad and a Gatorade. I paid for my stuff and just as I was about to go out the door I ran into someone.
“Oh! Sorry,” I muttered and looked up pushing a piece of hair out of my face. It was Grant.
“Olivia! Wow, hey,” he said surprised just as much as I was. He actually looked really nice today. He had on his black ski jacket with matching hat and gloves. His blonde hair coming out from the hat. This is how I remembered Grant; the sweet and charming guy.
“Um, hey how are you?” I asked politely. He smiled and showed those white teeth.
“Good, pretty good. My dad just got promoted in his job.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“Wow! That’s awesome. He’s been trying to hit that for a while now hasn’t he?”
He nodded.
“Yeah he’s real excited about it. So how are you?” he asked quietly looking into my eyes. My breath almost caught.
“Um, good. Just hanging out, you know. Zane’s been in the hospital so I’ve been going in everyday.”
Grant frowned and nodded.
“I heard about that. Heard he got into a fist fight with his stepdad or something?”
“His mom’s boyfriend, well now ex boyfriend. So I’ve been a little tied up.”
He nodded sympathetic.
“Well, actually there is a Christmas party at Jonathan’s house tomorrow, if you want to go.”
I smiled.
“That would be nice. Zane was trying to get me out of there, anyhow.”
The look when I said Zane’s name spark a glare just barely visible in Grant’s eyes but I knew him too well not to see it.
“Cool, then I’ll see you there I guess.”
I nodded.
“Bye.”
We went around each other and I went to my car feeling unsure if I should really go to the party without Zane? Mm, I’ll ask Zane tomorrow if I should.
When I got home dad and mom were unpacking their stuff.
“Oh, hey honey!” mom said rushing over to me to give me a hug. I hugged back a little. I was still upset with them.
“How is Zane?” she asked rubbing my arms.
I shrugged.
“He’s fine.”
She frowned.
“We should go in sometime to see him, Ian.” mom said turning to dad.
He shrugged looking the same.
“Hi dad,” I muttered. He nodded and gave me a quick hug. I put the food in the frig as I heard mom and dad talking, well mom was giggling. I rolled my eyes. I went up to my room quickly and shut my door. The school had given me extra work to do over the holiday so we wouldn’t forget what we were doing. How fun is that? I started on the book they gave me and settle back in bed with a notebook by my side.
I guess I fell asleep, because the next thing I knew I was dreaming. It was just flashes but it was more of a nightmare. Grant plunging the knife into Zane’s back, the look of excitement on Grant’s face. The look of pain on Zane’s face…..it hurt me. Then I could feel Kendra behind me, I could also see her face. The same look on Grant’s. Her eyes blazing with fire. Then everything was gone but Grant and I. He was wearing his ski jacket and his matching gloves and hat. I stared at him, his eyes were kind, like they always were. He was smiling at me.
“I really miss you Olivia. I want to be friends, maybe more, if we can be.” He said sweetly. My heart melted. Was I falling back in love with Grant? No, I couldn’t be! But this thing with Zane….it was fake. We might have had sex but does he really feel like that for me? Grant took my hands and brought them up to his heart and place them there. I took in a breath. “Olivia….” He moaned closing his eyes. “Olivia,” he said again but his voice sounded like a girl. I frowned…..
I sat up quick and pressed my lips together.
“Olivia?” mom knocked on my door.
“Com—“ I cleared my throat because it sounded hoarse. “Um, come in.”
Mom opened up my door and walked in. She smiled at me her blonde hair up in a blonde bun.
“Oh, I’m sorry honey, were you asleep?” I rubbed my eyes and sighed.
“No. what do you need?”
She came in smiling brightly.
“I just wanted to talk. We haven’t seen each other for a week. And I want to know how Zane is doing.” She put her hand on my knee. “And you.” she said seriously.
I felt my wall break down and I almost gasped when I felt tears in my eyes.
“Zane’s hurt mom.” I said simple. “But mom, I’m so confused.”
She listened.
Should I tell her? No, I can’t tell her about the fake relationship between Zane and I. It’s too hard to explain. I sucked in a breath then looked at her.
“Mom, I really like Zane but….I think I might still have feelings for Grant. What should I do?” I begged.
Mom sighed and looked at me with sad eyes.
“Honey, I’ve never been in this situation before. But what I can tell you is to follow your heart.”
I raised an eyebrow.
Mom laughed
. “I know, I know, its sounds corny but really honey that’s what you should do. Just do what your heart is telling you. That’s all I can say.”
I frowned and looked down at my hands. What if my heart was as confused as I was? Something pounded a name in my heart, it bled the name but I couldn’t get hurt. Not again. I pressed my lips together and nodded.
“Thanks mom.”
She grinned.
“No problem sweetie!” She paused a minute then giggled. “Your father and I have been getting a long great!” she said thrilled.
I really didn’t want to listen but I had too. All the while she told me about her and dad’s experience with the therapist and how she worked wonders! I could care less. I thought of Zane in the hospital and decided I would go in first thing in the morning. I sighed.
“So now our sex life is great!”
I stared up at her my eyes wide.
“Mom! Ewe! Stop it! I don’t want to hear about that!”
Mom laughed and patted my knee.
“I know sweetie. Oh well, I have work in the morning since they called in. Night.” She kissed my head then left the room. I fell back in bed tears stinging my eyes once again. My phone vibrated on my night stand and I reached out glumly and picked it up.
“Hello?” I asked.
“Olivia, are you ok?” Candice asked sounding worried. I sniffed, clearing my voice.
“Um, sorry. What’s up?”
Candice was quiet for a second.
“OK…..Oh! Um I just found out that Kendra and Grant broke up last night.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“Really?”
“Yeah, Tommy said he and his friends were walking to the pizza place and Kendra stormed out crying. They asked some people and were told that they had had it out at the restaurant and got into a huge fight in front of everyone.”
Wow, I never thought that would have happened. Even though Kendra and I weren’t talking, maybe I should call her? She might need a friend.
“Is she ok?” I asked.
Candice gasped.
“She’s probably fucking a guy right now getting over---Oh! Olivia, I’m sorry, I forgot you and her—“
“No, no, its fine. I know what people thought you her.” I said calmly.
“Oh…ok, well I’m sure she’s fine but who knows. Listen I got to go, Tommy and I are going out. Just thought I would let you know. Oh! How’s Zane? Tommy and I went in and saw him yesterday but we didn’t see you.” she rambled on and I couldn’t help but smile.
“Yeah, I was gone yesterday. OK that’s fine, go have fun. I’ll call you tomorrow or something.”
Candice laughed.
“OK, bye!” I hung up and sat my cell phone down. I curled into a ball and thought of calling Kendra.
Chapter 45
The next morning I got up took a shower and changed. I grabbed a candy bar from the cupboard and a pop-tart then headed to the hospital. I hugged Zane’s jacket to me trying to find that smell again. When I got to the hospital Zane was awake flipping through channels on the TV. He grinned when he saw me.
“Hey Princess!” he said.
I rolled my eyes but smiled. I kissed his cheek.
“Brought you something.” I said wiggling an eyebrow as I ate the rest of my pop-tart.
“Oh yeah what?” he asked.
I pulled out the candy bar. He grinned even wider.
“Thank God! Real food! This place’s food sucks!”
I laughed.
“Didn’t Jane bring you anything?” I asked.
He shook his head.
“Only some…that stupid healthy stuff too.”
I laughed again.
“She’s your mother you have to listen to her.”
He scrunched up his face. I laughed and shook my head.
“Glad you’re back,” I said and leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek. He moved instead and our lips hit. He pulled me onto the bed and I could feel the lust and passion in his kiss. I was so surprised. I latched my hands in his hair as he bit down on my bottom lip. I moaned. I didn’t hear the heart rate monitor till it was beating so loudly that I pulled back quickly. Zane was panting and looked at me. I smiled.
“You’re heart is about to beat out of your chest if we didn’t stop.”
He laughed and pink tinted his cheeks. I just smiled. But then I thought of Grant. He would have never blushed. Not for me at least. Why was I thinking of him though?
“I think we should stop for now.” I said pulling myself free of Zane.
He frowned slightly.
I sat back in the chair and calmed my breathing too. “Um, so Jonathan Merith is having a Christmas party tonight. I got invited.”
Zane raised an eyebrow. I waited for him to say something.
“Are you going to go?” he asked.
I shrugged.
“I’m not sure. I was waiting to talk to you first.”
He laughed.
“Olivia, why do you have to talk to me first? I’m not your father; you don’t need to ask permission.”
“I wasn’t going to ask for permission!” I said. “I was just going to see if you didn’t mind—“
“I don’t. You need to get out for a while anyhow. I mean, you’ve been in here everyday with me. Get out, have some fun.”
I frowned.
“Are you sure?”
He smiled.
“I’m positive.”
I smiled.
“Thanks.”
He laughed. “You make your own choices Olivia. You’re a big girl.” I just watched him for a moment. Watching his red lips move, then his blue eyes shining up at me. He was wearing old sweat pants with paint on them and a black t shirt. Making his eyes look extra blue. A fluttering was in my stomach.
“Ok, I’ll go tonight.” I confirmed.
He nodded.
But wait, Grant’s going to be there. And he and Kendra aren’t together. I don’t know what to do if he talks to me. Maybe just go with it? The thought of seeing Grant actually made my heart rate bounce a second. Wait no! I thought I was over him?
“Something wrong?”
I blinked and looked up.
“No, nothing’s wrong Zane,” I said quietly.
He still looked at me with an I’m not buying it look. I can’t tell him Grant is going to be there. Or that Kendra and he broke up. He would never let me go. Or maybe he would. But I think I need to talk to Grant. One last time. Really see how my feelings are toward him. I just hope nothing happens.
I left early from the hospital to go home and get ready for the party at 6. Mom and dad were in the living room and I could hear the TV on and them talking. I stopped in and said hi.
“Oh you’re back early.” Mom said.
I nodded.
“I’m going to a Christmas party tonight.”
She raised an eyebrow.
“Without Zane?”
I shrugged.
“Why?” I asked.
She just shrugged, too. Witch of a woman. I thought.
“I don’t know. Is Grant going to be there?”
She thinks I’m going to cheat on Zane! I thought.
“Um, I don’t think so.” I said, thinking it wasn’t any of her business.
“Oh, ok. Well have fun!”
I nodded and went up the stairs. My mom knows me. Maybe that’s why she said that. But I’m not doing anything with Grant! I just want to talk to him. Is that called cheating? I looked through my closet and found some old clothes that I hadn’t worn in a while. I found a black skirt. A little tight though. A red silk shirt with a black vest. It was very punk. Maybe too punk I thought. I used to be like that. Wear those clothes with my baggy pants. I had my own style. I didn’t really go along with the flow. I was more of a stand out person and I loved being that way. I know girls at school talked about my clothes but really I didn’t care. I liked being different and standing out in a crowd. Now, I guess I’m one of those girls. I slipped on a pair of
boots and grabbed my jacket then headed back out to the jeep.
“Bye.” I called as I left. I was nervous as I started up the car. I swallowed and drove over to Jonathans’.
The house was rocking with music, from rock, rap and Christmas music. I laughed as I heard someone shouting 12 Days of Christmas. He was obviously drunk. I knocked on the door and a girl opened it up drinking from a cup dressed up as a slutty Santa. She grinned when she saw me. “Hey!” she yelled over the music. I didn’t really know her but saw her around the school. “Come on in!”
I went in and sighed as I saw people dancing and making out. Not exactly a Christmas party. “How are you Olivia?” the girl asked. Oh man what is her name!
“I’m good, you?” I called over the music.
She laughed.
“I’m great! Want some beer? There is some in the kitchen.”
I shrugged.
“Maybe later.”
She nodded and drank the rest of her beer.
“So you and Grant getting back together?” she asked. I looked over at her sharply.
“No! Why would you think that?” I asked bitterly. She was too drunk to hear it though.
“Oh cause he and Kendra broke up and he was talking about you.”
Grant was talking about me?
“About what?”
The girl burped loudly.
I grimaced.
“About getting back together with you.”
I frowned.
“I don’t know.” I said quietly. She cheered as someone jumped off the stairs and fell face first onto the carpet. Grant wants me back. For real! Not in a dream but for real.
“Is he here yet?” I asked.
She cheered again before answering me.
“Yeah, I think he’s in the dining room or something. Go baby!” she yelled and ran toward a guy kissing him.
I rolled my eyes. I took off my coat and placed it behind the steps. I didn’t want any bozos trying to steal it or puke on it. I walked into the kitchen dodging a guy running out holding a keg. I rolled my eyes and grabbed a Coke out of the cooler. It was a lot quieter out here other than sometimes hearing a shout of cheering once in a while.
The kitchen branched off into the dining room and there I saw Grant. My breath caught a moment. He was wearing nice jeans and one of those stupid name brand shirt with the logo on the front. He also had a beer in his hands. He was talking to two other guys, one with a girl on his side. Seriously! She was basically clinging to him. The other guy was big and broad. Very scary looking but I recognized him from the football team. I walked over and smiled.