Linda Goodman's Sun Signs

by Linda Goodman

  Capricorns have an enormous admiration for those who have preceded them to the top of the mountain, and who have laid down the laws for the journey. They court success; they respect authority and honor tradition. Lots of energetic, impulsive people label them snobbish and stuffy. The goat could conversely label his critics rash and foolish, but usually he’s too wise to make unnecessary enemies by indulging in such self-defense. The Saturn-ruled submit. They agree. They adapt. Or do they just appear to do so? Capricorn allows others to walk in front of him, but he often gets there first, against all logic. He’s careful to avoid the obstacles, the sharp rocks. No wonder he seldom stumbles. His eyes aren’t fastened on the stars. He keeps his gaze fastened ahead, and his feet firmly planted on the ground. Jealousy, passion, impulse, anger, frivolity, waste, laziness, carelessness—are all obstacles. Let others trip and fall over them. Not Capricorn. He may glance briefly behind him with pity for the failures, or in grateful tribute for past advice and help, but he’ll soon continue his steady upward climb until his goal is reached.

  There are Capricorns who are deliciously romantic—who understand the strange light of the moon and the glorious colors of the butterfly’s wing. But they won’t let their emotions blind them to the facts. Not if they’re typical Saturn people. If Capricorn writes a lovely poem, full of imagination and illusion, the theme will be solid and the punctuation will be correct. It will come to the point, and the sentiment will never be allowed to slosh over the edges. Don’t defy the conventions if you want the respect of the goat. Even the more daring ones, and they are the exceptions, will observe at least the outer trappings of social acceptability. Public scenes and raw, naked, uncontrolled passions embarrass them.

  An occasional Capricorn will forget to hide his ambition, and refuse to work unless he’s at the head of things. Then he becomes a stubborn goat, who insists on starting at the top of the ladder, where he feels he belongs. Naturally, such an attitude produces a gloomy, pessimistic, cold and selfish person, who’s impossible to satisfy. But a couple of hard bumps usually suffice to set him on the right path.

  Young Capricorns are typically more contented than older Capricorns, and there’s a good reason. In almost Chinese-fashion, the Saturn-ruled youngsters idolize ancestors and elders. Respect for the wisdom of age and experience is ingrained in the Saturnine nature. When they mature and the “honorable ancestors” and the old folks are gone, the wild actions of the younger generation can frighten and bewilder the conservative goats. They go about saying, “Tch, tch!” shaking their heads and murmuring about the good old days. Luckily, however, a fair percentage of them adapt to meet the challenge. It’s a warm thing to watch a gray-haired Capricorn cheerfully cavorting with youth, learning for the first time the joys of childhood he missed as a serious youngster. Older Capricorns either behave like frustrated dill pickles, or they happily roll hoops and dance the boogaloo. A few of them, caught in the uncomfortable middle, grin with suppressed excitement as they sit on the sidelines and tap their feet in time to the music, but never quite gather the courage to jump on the carousel.

  You’ll seldom find the straight, well-shaped Capricorn nose stuck in other people’s business or the Saturn tongue wagging in gossip. If the Sun sign is combined with afflicted Gemini or Pisces influences, there may be a little gabbiness, but normally they’re content to mind their own affairs. They won’t often hand out unsolicited advice, but when you deliberately seek their practical wisdom, they won’t hesitate to give it with stern overtones. They’ll expect you to accept it, too. The Capricorn has learned to cope with duty and responsibility and to tolerate frustration. If you can’t follow his example, he’ll waste little time trying to teach you, and allow you only a pinch of sympathy.

  You may read that Capricorns marry for money or social position. That’s an exaggeration, though I will say that it was doubtless a Capricorn who remarked, “It’s just as easy to fall in love with the conductor as it is to have a fling with the second violin.” The practical goat rarely leaps into business or marriage unless he’s prepared financially for the former and emotionally for the latter. These people will do strange things for security. Old age is constantly on the Saturnine mind. Even the young Capricorns will instinctively enjoy visiting Uncle Jasper or Aunt Minerva. After all, the doting relatives might have a few bonds or some property, besides the fact that they’re comfortable and familiar. One certainly wouldn’t want to see a fortune willed to a pet canary. You may think such an attitude is cold and calculating, but to the Capricorn, it’s sensible. Opportunity never has to knock twice at the goat’s door. He’ll hear the first knock. In fact, he’s been leaning against the door, listening and waiting for it.

  In childhood, Capricorns are inclined to be weaker, more sickly than other youngsters, but both strength and resistance to disease increase with age. The sober, temperate nature of the typical goat gives him amazing endurance—and such potential for survival that it’s not unusual to find him living past the century mark. Saturn people should be able to avoid doctors and hospitals, but they don’t, because fear, uncertainty, worry and gloom are deadlier than germs. No amount of practical diet, conservative habits and stubborn resistance to illness can overcome the dangers of pessimism. Capricorns who want to avoid sickness should have plenty of outdoor exercise, and develop a more positive, outgoing personality. The fresh air of the country and the fresh breezes of tolerance will work magic with Saturnine health. Almost all goats of both sexes have sensitive skin. There may be nervous rashes, allergies, roughness and chapping, some peculiarity of perspiration, enlarged pores or acne. Stomach disorders from incompatible foods and mental distress are common. Broken arms and legs may occur. The knee caps, joints and bones are vulnerable areas, and psychosomatic paralysis, severe headaches and kidney infections are further fruits of saturnine melancholy.

  They will either have beautiful, white, strong teeth—or constant problems with decay and continual visits to the dentist, one or the other. Generally speaking, if they avoid the lingering illnesses caused by lingering depressions, the Capricorn tenacity for life is remarkable. But it’s no fun to be the last leaf on the tree if you’re suffering from arthritis and rheumatism. The goat must seek the sunlight and laugh at the rain to stay healthy.

  He’s such a shy, sweet soul, a trifle stubborn perhaps, but gentle about it. He seems so harmless. What a safe person to trust and confide in—how pleasantly he builds your ego. Who could hurt him or suspect him of ambition? All the while, Capricorn is using your own weaknesses, conceits and jealousies to make himself stronger. He’s useful and eventually so indispensable that you ask him to take over the reins. Then he’ll rule unobtrusively in the corner, modestly pulling the strings of authority. The goat submerges his ego to gain what his ego truly desires—the position of the real leader. With kindly, but stern, cautious wisdom, he guards the past from neglect and protects the present from confusion, so you can build tomorrow safely.

  He doesn’t have to lead the parade with a big, brass band. He gives permission for the parade, and plans its route from behind the scenes. All the daring high-wire acts need the Capricorn’s strong, safe net when they miscalculate and tumble. The discipline and formality of jet black and navy blue—the solid practicality of brown—the deep, honest dreams of dark green—these are the quiet colors of his enduring rainbow. Walk slowly through his silent forest, carpeted in soft moss and climbing ivy—and seek the eight hidden treasures of Saturn. Rich, red rubies lie buried beneath the Capricorn weeping willow. Stay—and learn the eternal beauty of the pure, smooth onyx. Capricorn lead is solid, and Capricorn coal builds lasting fires.

  Famous Capricorn Personalities

  Isaac Asimov Howard Hughes Julie Ormond

  Jimmy Buffet Joan of Arc Dolly Parton

  Gerard Depardieu Dianne Keaton Louis Pasteur

  Benjamin Franklin Martin Luther King Edgar Allen Poe

  George Foreman Ben Kingsley Helena Rubenstein

  E. M. Forster Mao Tse Tu
ng Sissy Spacek

  Kahil Gibrain Walter Mondale Denzel Washington

  Alexander Hamilton Isaac Newton Woodrow Wilson

  Stephen Hawking Richard Nixon Tiger Woods

  The CAPRICORN Man

  “Don’t keep him waiting, child! Why,

  his time is worth a thousand pounds a minute!

  And don’t twiddle your fingers all the time …

  Better say nothing at all.

  Language is worth a thousand pounds a word!”

  He has a self-made brick wall around him. He’s shy, but he’s strong and tough. He’s pleasant, but he’s fiercely ambitious. Like the legendary, silent, earthy cowboy, the Capricorn man seems to prefer to be alone. He doesn’t. Not really.

  Secretly, Capricorn yearns for adulation. He’d love to thrill the crowd on a flying trapeze. In his private dreams, the goat is an incurable romantic, but Saturn chains his nature. The stern planet of discipline demands of him calm behavior, practical actions and serious intent. This is his cross, and it’s often a heavy one to bear. Sometimes he’ll cover his frustration with a brusque manner—and sometimes he’ll startle you with unexpected and incongruous humor, although it will always be the ironic tongue-in-cheek variety. But that’s often the funniest kind, and Capricorns can be quite a gas when they’re wry and dry and juggling the jokes.

  Turn a steady, dependable Capricorn male inside out, and you’ll find a merry, gentle dreamer, who longs for the free wind to blow through his hair, and finds the sweet fragrance of compliments intoxicating—who hungers for excitement and thirsts for adventure. Only a chosen few can release this lonely soul from his secret prison.

  Sun signs can be wonderfully helpful if you’re inclined to judge a book by its jacket. Here you were thinking that Capricorn fellow would make a great school teacher but a miserable lover. You’d just about decided he’d rather be president than be yours. He impressed you as a man who would rather see his name written in the social register than in your diary. Now you discover that he has a heart as warm and friendly as a cozy wood fire on a winter night. I know it’s exhilarating, but wait just a moment before you dash off to give him a big bear hug and expect him to fly you to the moon. Those surprises I just described are part of his inner nature. He’ll be thrilled and impressed if you guess, but inner nature means just that—inner nature. Chances are he’ll never let all those gauzy dreams of careless rapture escape and run around loose. Just so you know they’re inside him. That’s enough. Don’t go expecting your Capricorn to dash barefoot through the buttercups. You can’t change his basic, Saturnine personality.

  What you can do, however, is laugh at his shaggy dog stories until he feels brave enough to tell more sophisticated tales. You can hint that you think there are banked fires beneath his conservative manner until he has the confidence to let a flame or two leap out. You can tell him you find his kind of dreams more colorful, because no dream is as bright as the one that really happens, so he’ll be encouraged to weave more of them. Someday, he will reach the top of his special mountain, and you’ll be right there beside him, mighty proud of your determined goat—and mighty glad you believed in his practical dreams.

  Capricorns pretend they can live without compliments, and the way they behave when they get one is pretty convincing proof. Did you ever say something nice to your Capricorn man and see it fall as flat as the expression on his face? Don’t be hasty. Just because the goat is such an expert at fooling himself doesn’t mean you have to be fooled, too. Actually, he desperately needs to be told he is good, clever, handsome, desirable and interesting, but since he’ll seldom make his need visible, he gets few orchids. Consequently, he may be a little rusty, and won’t know quite what to do when someone openly admires him, so he covers his embarrassment by making a wry joke or ignoring it, a reaction which can freeze people into deciding never to risk flattering that poker face again. The impression is created that he hates compliments, so he gets even fewer. It’s a vicious circle. Maybe it’s your fault, more than his. Next time you give your Capricorn a verbal bouquet, look at his ears. See how pink they are? See that faint twinkle in his eye and how his nose twitches ever so slightly? He’s as pleased as Sunday punch. Just because he doesn’t dance a jig or roll in the grass like Leo, the lion, doesn’t mean he hasn’t been made deeply happy and ten feet taller. He needs to be seen as the truly great guy he is. Nature and the stars keep him from advertising. You’ll have to be his press agent.

  This man is what horticulturists would call a late bloomer. He’s as serious as an owl in his youth, but he’ll relax gradually as he matures, and if he’s a typical Capricorn, he may end up as the youngest looking and acting man in the group. Now, that’s a point well worth considering. With other men, you have to tolerate flighty foolishness for years and then look forward to a stuffy old age. With a Capricorn, you may have your enthusiasms smothered a bit at first, but just think what you have to look forward to! Your Capricorn lover won’t run off to Paris with you in the spring of your romance, but he may take you to see the Taj Mahal by moonlight forty or fifty years later, when other men are complaining of creaking joints. It’s not a bad switch. If you’re the kind who likes to stuff yourself first with rich appetizers, and then dutifully have your vegetables, he’s not for you. A love affair with a Capricorn man, provided it ends in marriage, is like having dessert last, where it belongs.

  Naturally, the Capricorn reverse aging process may suggest to you that there’s a catch in the faithfulness department. There is. It’s true that you’ll have few worries about your goat straying when romance is young and dewy. It’s also true that he may kick up his heels a little as he grows older. Still, with all that, he’s a safer bet for fidelity than most other Sun signs, because the Capricorn man practically burns incense at the family altar. Whatever minor indiscretions he may contemplate when his late blooming begins, they’ll never replace the home fires, the children and you. He’s almost reverent about family ties. That includes the family he’s created with you and his own family, which has been the object of his devotion since childhood.

  It wouldn’t do to insult his mother or be cool to his brother. Be prepared to love your in-laws, even if they’re about as lovable as prickly cactus. Not only will he defend them, but also if you allow disputes to get sticky, the strain of choosing between loyalties to two families can make him morose and gloomy. (If there’s anything in this world you don’t want to do, it’s make a Capricorn morose and gloomy.)

  You may bump into a Capricorn who has open contempt for his relatives, or who has bitterly cut family ties and never looked back—but scratch the surface of his independence and you’ll find a deep, emotional wound in his past that originally caused such untypical behavior. Many Capricorn men live at home long past the age when their friends are out enjoying the delights of a bachelor pad. They usually fall in love later than most men too—and they seldom marry before they’re settled in a career.

  With an eye for pedigree and perfection, they’ll look around pretty carefully. The goat will pick a woman who will be a good mother. It also wouldn’t hurt if she was a good cook and tidy around the house. After that, she’ll have to dress well, be able to impress his business associates and friends, and preferably be a cut above them in background, manners, breeding and intelligence. Last of all, he’ll make a quick check to see if she’s beautiful or if she appeals to his physical senses. You can see right away it’s no big deal if your hair is droopy, your perfume bottle is empty or your legs aren’t the kind to make the current Miss Universe hate you. Just dig into the trunk for those D.A.R. papers and show him the family Wedgwood. Take his mother to lunch once a week, and let him see how practical you are with your budget. Invite your four-year-old sister along on your next date. If you’re an only child, rent a neighbor’s toddler. Wipe her little nose gently and frequently with a proper linen handkerchief, talk about your desire to be on the mayor’s committee for civic improvement, walk sedately, drop a few French phrases and gurgle when
you see a baby in a buggy. Be sure to respect his father as the wisest gentleman you’ve ever met, and make casual references to your great uncle, who helped Carnegie build his empire—or your ancestor who fought by George Washington’s side in the snows of Valley Forge (it doesn’t matter which). If you’re pretty, so much the better. But glamour will never replace that afghan you made for his cousin Joyce. I can almost promise that he’ll never marry you if you don’t pass inspection with his family. There are exceptions, of course, but they’re so rare you’d be downright reckless to gamble that your Capricorn man is one of them.

  After his family has proposed—or rather after he has proposed—put your foot down. Firmly. Let him know you love his folks dearly, but he’s the one whose bed and board you’ve chosen to share. Otherwise, you’ll spend many a Saturday night cooking dinner for his Uncle Charlie or helping his young sister through her painful adolescence.

  Since Capricorns are always slightly nervous in the presence of the opposite sex, an occasional one will awkwardly hint at off-color situations, fumble with attempts at innuendo, or appear to be rough, tough and callous. It’s just his way of being one of the fellows, a typical method of hiding his embarrassment and curiosity about the purple passions of more aggressive people. Don’t ever let it lead you into thinking he wants you to play Bonnie to his Clyde. You are not Mae West or Texas Guinan. You are a lady and don’t ever forget it. He may cast a furtive, interested glance at a lady of the evening, but she’s definitely not the kind of lady he marries. This may sound like advice from your spinster Aunt Abigail, but if you think it’s square, go on and wear your teeny bikini and green mascara—pour on the perfume and kiss him in public. You may eventually walk down the aisle in a white veil, but it won’t be beside a Saturn groom.