Linda Goodman's Sun Signs

by Linda Goodman

  A nice gift for your Capricorn husband would be a book of poems, the more romantic the better. If you don’t give hints early in the relationship about the art of affectionate expression, you may become a well-provided-for spouse, who’s adored and warmly appreciated—with a perfect dear for a husband—but who is also emotionally starved. It won’t do any good by that time to complain that he never tells you he loves you. He’ll just look at you in injured innocence or grumbling disgust (depending on how strong Saturn was at his birth), and patiently explain that “You’re crazy. I distinctly remember telling you I loved you when I gave you your engagement ring and again when little Alexander was born.”

  He thinks you should know how he feels about you since he supports you, and pays you the tribute of allowing you to bear his children and be his wife. To Capricorn, mushy, verbal declarations are gilding the romantic lily. He may ask, “What do you want, George Clooney?” That’s your cue to say “yes” loudly. It should startle him a little. He won’t turn into George Clooney, but he may be shocked into realizing that a gently murmured “sweetheart,” at appropriate times won’t harm his masculinity.

  As a father, he’ll be a Father—the literal personification of the word. He’ll always be at the head of the table, and that goes for picnics, too. Even if he’s the one sitting on the poison ivy, near the ant hill, around a paper cloth spread under the trees—the spot where the Capricorn daddy sits is the head of the table. He’ll demand respect and obedience, and he’ll insist on routine and discipline. But he’ll repay it with honest devotion, even self sacrifice, probably approve of big, happy birthday parties and a very merry Christmas. Capricorn fathers are highly unlikely to spare the rod and spoil the child. He’ll see that they go to the dentist and do their homework, with a few groundings when it’s necessary. His own sense of organization and dependability will be emphatically conveyed. It certainly won’t hurt the youngsters, though it might take a little starch out of them. Remind him that parenthood can be fun, as well as a serious responsibility. Think of him as a Charles Dickens type papa. Teach the children to give him generous goodnight kisses, and encourage him to take them to the ball game, fishing or swimming. If he’s a little strict, remember that they’ll profit in the long run, as long as he doesn’t overdo it. When the grandchildren bounce on his knee, he’ll turn shockingly permissive. Capricorn grandpas make great baby sitters. I even know one who roller skates around the block with his second generation offspring.

  A Capricorn man will seldom marry in haste and repent at leisure. He’s more apt to marry at leisure and repent in haste. Most Capricorn marriages are solid, but if the goat makes a mistake, he’ll walk out abruptly, and his wife won’t get a second chance. Capricorn abhors divorce, so it won’t happen often, but when it does, it’s final. To be blunt, when he’s had it—he has had it.

  Your Saturnine husband may regulate lovemaking to a schedule, along with shopping, correspondence, doing his banking, visiting museums or art galleries and washing and waxing his hybrid sedan. It may seem cold and unsentimental, but remember that the practical Capricorn is interested in the physical side of love long after other husbands resort to poetry to express their emotions. Interpreted, that means just what I said back at the beginning. Dessert last. After he’s retired, he’ll have more time to develop his technique of affection. That’s better than insurance. And you’ll have that too, with a Capricorn husband—insurance against a rainy day, insurance against loneliness and insurance against the blows of a sordid, ugly world. Any sensible female appreciates the value of Saturn devotion. He won’t be a fiery lover who courts you with starry eyes and passionate, flowery speeches. But he’ll protect you from all your feminine fears. He’s a tough guy with a gentle heart. He’ll chop the wood for that cozy fire, then sit with you in front of it and hold your hand tenderly. No matter how many gray hairs, extra pounds or wrinkles you add as the years slip by, to him you’ll always look like the young woman who made him say “I love you.” When you stop to think about it, why should he say it again and again? Once is enough when it lasts that long.

  The CAPRICORN Woman

  So she got up and walked about—

  rather stiffly just at first,

  as she was afraid that the crown might come off:

  but she comforted herself with the thought

  that there was nobody to see her,

  “and if I really am a Queen,” she said,

  as she sat down again,

  “I shall be able to manage it quite well in time.”

  There’s no such thing as a typical Capricorn female. She can be a museum curator who wears wire-rimmed glasses, or she can be a dancer, who wears a glittering Gstring. You’ll see her crisply running a suburban P.T.A., serving BLTs in a coffee shop, or organizing the biggest Charity Ball in the city. A Capricorn woman may decorate the society columns, smile demurely behind a political candidate husband or pour mysterious liquids into test tubes. But whatever she’s doing and whatever she’s wearing, Saturn will rule her actions and her secret aims.

  She can be ultra-feminine, flirtatious and charming enough to make a man feel like a giant grizzly bear who can protect her from the cold, cruel world. Or she can be icy, quiet and aloof, sitting securely on her marble pedestal and challenging you to be clever enough to win her superior hand. Whichever personality she projects, underneath her womanly wiles or her practical, sensible manner, she has the same goal—a steely determination to snag the right man, who becomes an equal partner, makes her proud and who can be a good father to her children.

  So many Capricorn women are career-oriented, you might think love and marriage would always be a second choice. With love, you have a point. With marriage, no. The thing to understand is that the Capricorn goals are security, authority, respect and position. It makes little difference if these needs are supplied in front of a blackboard as a school teacher, behind a desk as an executive, or beside an ambitious husband whose social life and home she can manage with easy grace and careful planning. One way or another, the Capricorn woman will get her recognition. Some of them get it by writing books, lecturing, painting or composing music. It’s surprising how many Capricorns of both sexes have unusual artistic talent. Perhaps it stems from an innate sense of balance and harmony, knowing what is pleasing and what is right or correct.

  This is a little delicate, but even the Saturn females you find who become exotic dancers or engage in the world’s oldest profession (there will be only a handful), will end up by marrying the top comic or the theater owner in the first instance—or the wealthiest client in the second. The goat must climb. Whether the starting position is high or low, the top of the hill is where she finds the view more satisfying. There’s nothing flashy about the Capricorn female. You’ll certainly never see her loudly or obviously pushing and shoving for first place; you may even think she’s docile enough to contentedly take a back seat to her competition. Wait. See who gets the promotion.

  Don’t be misled into thinking she’ll never sacrifice her career for marriage. Just give this woman half a chance to be a social leader and the head of a well-run household, and you’ll see how quickly she loses interest in her job (one of the few things she’ll do quickly). If you need her to, the Capricorn woman will gladly continue working to help you climb up the mountain of success—she won’t be lazy. Otherwise, however, she’s happier enjoying her position as your wife, provided the position is a good one, and there’s enough financial security.

  One of the most typical and delightful things about this woman is her natural breeding and grace of manner. You can meet a Capricorn female who was raised in a one-room shack across the railroad tracks, or whose father works the swing shift in a coal mine, but unless she decides to reveal her background (which she probably won’t), you’ll be convinced she comes from an old-line family, and was turned out by one of the best finishing schools. Such is the Capricorn built-in sense of social grace and conservative, conventional appearances.

 
; Any man who’s involved in a relationship with the female goat should learn a basic fact about this Sun sign. She seems to be more even-tempered and emotionally steady than she actually is. Her manner may convince you that she’s as firm as a rock and nothing can ruffle her calm surface. The truth is that she’s subject to many moods. All women are subject to moods, you say, but the Capricorn female can have some really black and long-lasting ones. If she feels mistreated or unappreciated, she’ll brood for days, weeks, even months. She calls it being sensible or practical, but Saturnine gloominess, pessimism and depression is much more deeply rooted than that. It’s triggered by fear of the future, worry about the present, shame over the past—or a suspicion that she’s being made fun of or is inadequate in some way. These women do not accept teasing lightly. Keep it at a minimum. To be honest, they find it impossible to see the joke when they’re the victims. You don’t have to bury her in compliments constantly (she’ll sense when they’re insincere, anyway), but don’t kid her about important matters, and praise her often enough to make her realize you know her true value.

  It’s hard for her to relax in romantic situations. There’s plenty of physical desire under the cool Capricorn surface, far more than most people suspect, and it’s never satisfied casually. Sitting around and wasting time with breathless hugs and ecstatic kisses while the future is still hanging unsettled, is definitely not her favorite hobby—yet once she’s decided you’re the right man and the finances are secure or your ambition is sufficient, she’ll be as warm as a cuddly panda, affectionate, and even passionate. Capricorns don’t believe in vague dreams that glide aimlessly through a misty, blue sky. They want to know where the ship of romance is taking them, and that it’s sailing on safe waters. Build a firm foundation under your house, if you plan to carry a Capricorn over the threshold. Make sure there’s plenty of insurance and the mortgage is paid off or will be soon.

  She’ll probably be something of a social butterfly, extremely aware of etiquette, and she’ll lean toward quaint customs like engraved napkin rings and afternoon tea. Things must be correct and tradition must be observed at all costs. She may have an inconsistent habit of wanting to shop in the most expensive, exclusive stores, yet insisting on a bargain. She doesn’t mind buying a dress that’s on sale, as long as it bears the right label.

  Capricorn women have a fresh beauty of their own. You’ll rarely find one who’s not unusually attractive. Yet they are timid and unsure about their appearance, and you may find them needing constant reassurance that they’re pretty. Although Capricorn females hate dishonesty in all forms, they’re not above lying about their ages. They usually get away with it, too, thanks to the odd Saturn aging twist. They look like little old ladies as children, then bloom suddenly into women who look like young girls when they’re past the prime of life.

  It would be a terrible mistake to snub her family. The man who marries a Capricorn woman, marries her relatives. There’s no point in thinking that yours is different. She’s not. Somewhere along the line, you’ll stop laughing at motherin-law jokes (you may cry instead). Many times, the Saturn female is the sole support of her family, financially or morally or both. She may care for an ill parent with devotion to the point of relinquishing the idea of marriage completely. Often, she’ll enjoy the sacrifice because of her honest love for her family, but even if she resents it, her strong sense of responsibility and duty will not permit her to escape.

  You might as well resign yourself to flattering your motherin-law, and hope she’s a great gal, who’s worth it. Don’t argue politics with her father, and if you must criticize her brothers and sisters, see that the criticism is constructive, and based on a sincere belief in their potentialities. Frequently, Capricorns find themselves burdened with distressed or invalid relatives, and the typical goats will never let love, however consuming it might be, cause them to neglect such obligations. You’d better start right out by planning to have a guest room or two for visiting relatives. But there’s a reverse benefit. You’ll have a partner who is kind and considerate toward your own family. The Capricorn female will understand if you have to allocate a fixed sum to your parents each week, and she’ll probably be a companion to your brothers and sisters. She’s the kind of girl you take home to meet mother, and mother approves of her immediately. Since men are so contrary, such instant encouragement can cause them to back away. It’s always more fun to fight objections for your lady fair. But you’ll only be slicing off your nose to spite your heart, because your mother is right. The Capricorn female, if she’s a typical Saturn woman, will make an excellent mate.

  The home of a Capricorn woman often looks so effortlessly spotless and smooth-running, you’d think there were little fairies and elves hiding in the corners, working away furiously after midnight to shine and polish and cook and clean. Wrong. The very last place you can expect to find such imaginary creatures is around a Capricorn. The Saturn practicality and faith in firm facts ordinarily precludes any sympathy with the unseen. A Capricorn woman wouldn’t believe in leprechauns if one sat right on the tip of her nose. In all fairness, however, although she may not be a way-out dreamer or a follower of occult mysteries, once she has the solid facts, she’s able to see the romance and poetry in the most ordinary situations.

  Hers is an earthy kind of beauty that can make even the gross and ugly seem lovely with sheer usefulness. She’s not a stranger to the gypsy spell of the north wind, nor is she deaf to the silver song of spring showers and the call of a lonely skylark. Great music stirs her deeply, and she’s an enchanted patron of almost any art form. Perhaps she has to see and touch magic to believe in it. A leprechaun would probably get much further with her if he came right out and said where that pot of gold is hidden, instead of hinting about it in fairy tales.

  Most Capricorns save their rainbow thinking for history and heroic deeds of the past. Since she worships tradition, and reveres those who have overcome obstacles to gain success, it’s easier for her to get sentimental over the Gettysburg address than to get enthusiastic over your latest wild scheme. Actually, she’s a true romantic, with greater imagination than the scatterbrains with unreal fantasies. Every January gal has haunting poetry in her soul, but she doesn’t have much sympathy for poets who starve in attics. Take care of the food and rent and then pursue the dream, whatever it may be, is the Capricorn motto. Also make sure that the dream is worth pursuing. She sees nothing glamorous or magical about failure.

  You may have to share your Capricorn wife with causes. She’ll be a tireless worker for the poor and the defenseless, but she may prefer to show her charity in group efforts, rather than to individuals. Saturnine sympathies are usually organized, seldom scattered. Female Capricorns are natural leaders of women’s clubs.

  As a mother, she’ll probably instill both thrift and a respect for quality in the youngsters. She’ll teach them to “Eat it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.” Still, they’ll be served the best cuts of meat, and she’ll buy them the finest brand of shoes. To her, economy does not have to mean cheap. The children will be expected to be polite to relatives and elders, and they’ll probably learn excellent manners. They won’t be pampered or allowed to willfully disobey. If you give her a book on child psychology, she may use it to paddle an unruly offspring and get around to reading it later. Sticky kisses may not be welcome, but few mothers are more devoted than the female goat. Her children will get a courteous listening ear. She may be a little strict and unsympathetic to their growing pains, but she’ll be a fascinated audience for their achievements. The child who runs home from school and shouts, “Guess what I learned today,” won’t be ignored by the Capricorn mother, who will never be too busy to give her youngsters her interest and attention. After they become teenagers, there may be a few barriers when the Saturn conservatism clashes with youth’s liberalism. At this point, she may need some help in understanding her children’s enthusiastic dreams. She may learn the hard way that she can’t dictate their friendships and c
onfine them to “acceptable” people. But she’s intelligent enough to adjust and pull in her horns, if it looks as though she’ll lose more than she’ll gain.

  Since many Capricorn females have sensitive skin, they don’t wear much make-up. Lots of them are allergic to it. But nature rewarded them with natural beauty that needs little gilding, and they’ll keep it long after the roses have faded from the cheeks of other women. Some of them startle you with lovely complexions, firm features and bright eyes at the age of eighty and older.

  Patiently help your Capricorn woman overcome her lack of personal confidence. She’s not unimaginative just because she doesn’t court delusion. Try on a couple of her practical dreams for size, and you’ll find they’re surprisingly comfortable. Stubbornness may be one of her vices, but she’s not a whiner or a nervous nag. As your partner, she’ll push you toward success, yet be tender and devoted. In spite of her modest, often gentle ways, she’ll know just how to twist you around her little finger. There’s a deep richness in her love that’s more lasting than the brittle, scorching, demanding love of other women. Who says she doesn’t believe in fairy tales? Only a wise Capricorn maiden could look deep into the eyes of an awkward frog, and see that he’s really a prince in disguise.

  The CAPRICORN Child

  “Oh, how I wish I could shut up like a telescope!

  I think I could, if I only knew how to begin …”

  “Pat her on the head,

  and see how pleased she’ll be! …

  A little kindness—

  and putting her hair in papers—

  would do wonders with her—”

  If you’re one of those people mothers hate, because you think all newborn infants look like little old men and women, save your description for a Capricorn baby, and you won’t get so much resistance. Tiny Capricorns do resemble miniature octogenarians. They look old in their youth and young in their old age. That little wrinkled prune of a face in the bassinet will someday be smooth and unlined when other faces are sagging. Maybe it has something to do with being born in January—the old year going out and the New Year coming in. The odd turnabout does match the familiar image of the old man, with his care-lined face beside the fresh infant of the New Year with his Ivory soap look.