A Whisper To A Scream

by S. B. Addison Books

  Tonight is the big homecoming game. Adam wants me to go, but I don’t feel like myself and being surrounded by hundreds of people screaming and blaring foghorns is something I know I can’t handle. That will just be one more thing to push me closer to the edge of insanity.

  Adam has been great about my abnormal behavior. When I told him I wasn’t gonna go to the game, he kissed my cheek, smiled, and told me he’d see me tomorrow. I love that were complete opposites, yet we work so well together. I’m wild, reckless, mouthy, and I hate authority. Adam is calm, even-tempered, and collected.

  After school he drives me home. When he pulls in my driveway, I gather my things and he gives me one of his beautiful smiles that I love so much. “So, I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

  I swing my door open. “Yep.” I get out of the car and hover above the door. “Good luck tonight,” I tell him, trying to be cheerful. Even though I’m certain my words don’t sound cheerful.

  “Thanks. I’ll need it. My good luck charm won’t be there.”

  I draw my eyebrows together. “You’re sure you don’t care that I’m not going?”

  He nods. “Don’t even worry about it. Especially if you’re not feeling up to it. We have a big day tomorrow. You might need to rest up.”

  I manage a strained laugh. “Bye, Adam.” I close the door and walk into my house.

  Mom isn’t home. She left me a note letting me know that she went to the grocery store, but would be back soon. The emptiness of the house swells up inside of me. I start thinking about Katie, my complicated relationship with Adam, and I realize these thoughts are going to gnaw on me unless I do something to keep myself busy. I need to keep myself occupied.

  I stand in the doorway to my bedroom examining the damage. Cleaning my room will help distract me. The only problem is that it’s probably going to take me years to clean it.

  I start by washing the walls. Every time I lift the sponge and glide it down the pale blue plaster walls clumps of dust so thick fall on my bed and remind me of charred ashes in a fireplace.

  After I finish with the walls, I move onto the dressers, wiping them down with pledge, organizing all of my hair products, and discarding all of the paper plates with food crusted on them.

  Thirty minutes later, I focus on the tan shag carpeted floor where the biggest portion of my mess lies. I sit down in the middle of the heaping piles of clothes and begin sorting them into clean and dirty piles. Once I have them separated, I take the dirty pile to the laundry room and sort the clean pile in half again. Some of the clothes go on hangers and belong in the closet, while the others I’ll fold and place in the dresser drawers.

  When I come to the last article of clothing on the floor, a pair of my favorite worn-in faded jeans. I fold them in half and fasten them on a pants hanger. But as I move them to my packed closet, I notice a piece of whit folded-up paper as it slips out of the back pocket and falls onto the carpet.

  Curious, I hang up the pants and sit down Indian style, unfolding the paper. It’s a photocopied newspaper article. There is a small picture in the upper right corner, but the image is so dark and splotchy I can barely make out who is in it. But as I scan the article and as his name distorts in my eyes over and over again, I’m hit with a revelation that knocks the wind out of my lungs. Adam Jacobs, the boy I love is a sociopath—a cold-blooded killer.

  Chapter 28: Decisions

  A harrowing black abyss of darkness engulfs my room as I lie in my bed. I can’t sleep. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to sleep, ever again. I’m dying inside and I feel the agonizing pain slice through every one of my organs.

  I’ve never felt so lost or tormented in my entire life. It has been hours since I’ve read the article and it’s all I can think about. In the article, Adam was accused of killing his girlfriend, Regina, but he was acquitted. I’m certain a lot of that has to do with his father because the article also says he was one of the best defense attorney’s in Chicago.

  I realize there’s a part of me that has always known about Adam’s tendencies, but I’ve been so blinded by my love for him that I never wanted those tendencies to be real. I wanted to live in a dream. And in my dream he’s all the things he pretends to be. He’s a diamond without flaws. He’s perfect.

  But I have to swallow that thought and choke on it.

  There are specific qualities in Adam that stand out among many of his other qualities. Now I’m no detective, but right before I started ninth grade, I spent the entire summer watching crime show marathons on television. All of the murderers had similar vice that made them stand out.

  Some were neat freaks. Adam is a neat freak. He can’t even stand a ball of fuzz on the backseat of his car. Some were so perfect that you automatically knew something was off about them. Realistically, not one person on this planet is perfect. Everyone has at least a few flaws if not more. Adam exudes perfection. Apart from genetics, he excels in everything. He has to try really hard to be perfect to cover up what he really is. The Adam whose eyes show no emotion. The Adam who just does things and doesn’t think about the consequences. The Adam who kills.

  Kills. Murders. Slaughters. Just thinking the words makes my stomach hurt. He’s killing innocent people. Those people are someone’s children. Those people belong to families. Deep down in my gut I know what Adam is doing isn’t right, but the love I feel for him still blazes inside of me. I’m torn by my love for him and my hatred for what he is. He’s a beautiful disaster. My beautiful disaster.

  Adam warned me about the other side of him. The part of that’s consumed by darkness. The monster inside of him. He thought I’d be afraid of the monster, but I’m not. He thought I’d run away screaming, but I won’t. He thought I’d turn on him, but I can’t.

  Adam and I in a way are similar. I used to be just like him, a hollow shell of a person. He changed that for me. He showed me what it’s like to feel.

  Maybe I’m stupid. Maybe I’m just as evil as he is by keeping my mouth shut. But he told me once that I was different. And I can’t help but hope that me being different is the one thing in this world that can save him from what he fears the most…Himself.

  Chapter 29: In The End

  Saturday morning Mom has a schedule mapped out for me. After breakfast she takes me to Carol’s Crimps & Curls, the only salon our town has to have my hair and nails done.

  I don’t usually pamper myself and I’m so caught up in all of the drama going on in my life that I can’t even enjoy it. Adam haunts me. Adam and his beautiful smile, his infectious touch, his deep voice that makes my insides smolder. And the other Adam. The Adam I should hate, but don’t. The Adam I should push away, but can’t. And the Adam I should put behind bars, but won’t.

  “There aren’t they pretty,” gushes the manicurist who’s wearing a pound of make-up.

  I look at my hands briefly. “Yeah. Thanks.”

  After my nails dry, I’m ushered over to Carol, the salon owner’s chair. As I sit down, I notice Megan White’s reflection in the mirror. She looks out of it, staring straight ahead a dazed look on her face. She’d probably be doing this with Katie if she were here.

  Guilt feeds on me, rips at my skin, and picks my bones clean. What do I do? Keeping Adam’s secret is going to eventually kill me. I am sure of it.

  Carol finishes my hair in exactly one hour. Mom then rushes me home and she helps me get into my dress. Yards of gold satin adorned with a thin sheer golden glittering top layer.

  Mom took me to some swanky contemporary store in The North Place Mall to get it. Luckily, the goddess-like dress with one shoulder strap was on clearance. I lift my arm and Mom zips me up the backs away, gasping. “Oh, Ellory.” She places her hands in the corners of her eyes to keep the tears from falling. “You look stunning, sweetheart. Just stunning.”

  For someone who doesn’t like to wear dresses, I am loving this one. I love the way the soft fabric clings to my skin, and when I spin in front of my floor length mirror, the sunlight beaming in from my w
indow hits the tee-length dress and I look like I’m sparkling.

  “Hold on,” Mom says as she dashes from my room. She returns a minute later carrying a pearl necklace. I turn around and she fastens them around my neck. “These were great grandma Reva’s,” she tells me. “I wore them when I married your father.”

  I face her and pull her in for a hug. “I love you, Mom.”

  She beams as a tear slides down her pale cheek. “I love you too, sweetheart.”

  Our mother-daughter moment is interrupted by a knock at the door. Mom exits and I finish up, applying a little make-up. I take one last look in the mirror. “Well, Ells this is as good as you are gonna get.” Then I shut off the light and walk into the living room.

  Wren claps her hands together excitedly when she sees me. “You look awesome!”

  “Thanks,” I say. “You don’t look to bad yourself.” Wren spins and the champagne mermaid style gown with a sweetheart neckline hugs every inch of her.

  I feel Adam’s eyes on me, scorching my skin. Peeking over my shoulder I meet his gaze, apprehensively. I’m nervous and panicked, but at the same time over-joyed and thrilled. He struts toward me, taking my hand and my heart pounds against my ribs. Inside I’m screaming. I’m a piece of glass. I’m shattering. I’m broken.

  Adam leans in and caresses my ear with a whisper. “You look gorgeous.”

  I smile and my fingers tremble in his grasp. “Thanks.”

  All the mothers crowd around us. Isabelle steps forward. “Everyone get together!”

  Wren poses with Mike and Adam wraps his arms around my waist. His touch makes my heart sing and my skin crawl at the same time. I exhale. I can’t freak out now. I need to talk to him first. Then I need to develop a plan of action.

  Mom puts her eye to her camera. “Okay guys, smile.”

  I put on the best fake smile I can and then we’re blinded by a series of flashes.

  We arrive at the school sometime later and I feel like I’m still seeing white dots from all the pictures. Mom was the worst of the bunch. She was snapping her camera up until we pulled out of the driveway.

  The entire gym decorated in crepe paper splendor is something I’ve never experienced. I marvel at the thin wisps of silver and black and the tiny twinkle lights that encircle the entire perimeter. A glistening disco ball hangs from the ceiling, plastering an afterglow along the muted yellow walls. I stop my observation when I see Mrs. Miller standing behind the punchbowl with a scowl on her face. I look away quickly. Somehow I feel like she’s Medusa. One look in her eyes and I’ll turn to stone.

  Wren and Mike are already on the dance floor, surrounded by a sea of swaying couples. Adam steps away from me, extending his hand. “What do you say, Ells? Wanna have a go?”

  I take his hand as he guides me out onto the dance floor. I do my best to remain calm even though my stomach is in knots. Adam places his hand on my back and the warmth from his touch radiates through the fabric of my dress. I love him. I love him. I love him. An overwhelming sense of desire surges through me. Adam holds me tighter and I’m twisting in half.

  I don’t want to lose this. I feel welcomed in his arms. I place my head against his chest and expect to hear nothing. A person so consumed by darkness can’t be human. But I hear the soft thumping loud and clear. I hear his heart and I feel it because his heart beats for me.

  He takes my face in my hands. And I swear I see a spark of emotion in his eyes. “Adam, I—”

  “I think I love you,” he blurts out.

  “That’s not possible,” I whisper. “You can’t.”

  His eyes are the waters of the Caribbean, clear, crystalline, and sparkling. “I can.”

  A strangled gasp clogs my throat. I swallow. “No you can’t. I know you can’t.” He brushes my lips gently. It amazes me how such a soft peck can swallow me whole and dilute my perception of what’s really happening. “Adam I know.” I spew the words out like spilled milk. Fast and runny spreading out along a countertop.

  He scrunches his eyebrows, confused. “Know what?”

  I stand on my toes and he puts his ear against my mouth. “I know about Regina.”

  Adam’s body goes rigid. He backs away from me slowly, stunned. He doesn’t say anything in return, but he doesn’t need to.

  A bomb goes off inside of me and I feel every part of me explode. Adam turns to walk away and I clutch his hand. He peeks over his shoulder, a pained looked tugs on his features and I think he might fall apart. I close my eyes, panting. When I open them Adam is inches away from my face and as he opens his mouth to speak a shrill piercing noise ricochets off the walls of the gym.

  I plug my ears while Principal Anderson taps the microphone. “It’s time to announce the homecoming queen and king and the court.” I keep a tight grip on Adam’s hand, but he refuses to look at me. “Adam.” I yank on his arm. “Adam.”

  “And the first two members of the court are….”

  He still won’t look at me. I yank on his arm harder. “Adam.”

  “Ellory Graham and Adam Jacobs!” Principal Anderson announces.

  I drop Adam’s hand as the entire student body faces us. I feel awkward. I hate being the center of attention. But Adam is used to this. He gives everyone a toothy grin and holds out his arm to me. I lace my arm through his and we walk up the stage steps.

  Molly greets us and places a sash over my head and then she places one over Adam’s head. I’m still in shock. “Who the hell would nominate me?” Molly laughs and nods to the crowd. Wren smiles brightly and waves. I shake my head and hold myself up against Adam because I feel like I’m going to be sick.

  While Principal Anderson announces the next couple Adam finally glares at me. “How did you figure it out?” His voice is cold and steady. I can’t understand him. Why does he feel like he has the right to be angry?

  “Megan White and Blake Forrester!” Principal Anderson yells.

  “Someone has been sending me letters!” I snap. “And you didn’t exactly keep it a secret, telling me that I don’t want to see the other side of you.”

  Megan White and Blake walk up the steps and breeze past us. Adam bites his bottom lip and his eyes shift to the floor. “Letters?” he whispers.

  “Yes. Someone sent me letters. And the last thing they gave me was a photocopied article from a newspaper in Chicago. About you and Regina’s murder.”

  Principal Anderson goes on. “And the next couple is…Corinne Connor and Josh Tanner.”

  Adam stares out into the crowd and I follow his gaze. “I try so hard not to be that guy,” he says in a monotone voice. “I don’t want to be that guy.”

  Pain tears through my chest and my heart sinks. “Adam,” I whisper. I’m cut off by Principal Anderson’s voice. “Wren Thompson and Mike Roberts!”

  My moment of despair is interrupted by a flutter of excitement that whips through me when I see the look on Wren’s face. My attention averts to Molly and the glint of happiness in her eyes tells me she’s the one who nominated her.

  Adam trembles in my grasp and I slide my hand up his arm, trying to console him. His hand is slick with sweat and I notice a crazed look in his eye. He even starts mumbling. “I don’t know who could have sent them? Who could it possibly be? I didn’t want you to really know. I just wanted to make you aware that there’s a dangerous side to me...”

  Principal Anderson cuts into Adam’s rants. “And the 2011 homecoming king and queen of Logan High are...”

  “I’d never hurt you, Ellory.” Adam glances at me with desperation in his eyes. “You know that right?”

  I know he means it. I’ve always known that no matter what or who Adam is, he will never hurt me.

  “Megan White and Adam Jacobs!” Principal Anderson booms as the entire gym erupts in applause.

  Adam freezes his eyes full of uncertainty. I urge him to go and watch as Molly places another sash over his head. The hollering in the gym gets louder and I timidly scan the row of people on stage and it occurs to me tha
t if Katie were here, she’d probably be up here too.

  Megan White steps forward as Molly lifts the sash over her head. Adam stands next to them in a trance-like state. His lips move, but no words come out. Megan bends down and Molly places a crown on her head.

  The next sequence of events seem to occur in slow motion. A second after Megan White is crowned queen, she steps forward, waving and that’s when Katie Halston’s body falls down from the rafters, swinging by a thick noose. The stiff body smacks into Megan and sends her flying off the stage and that’s when all the chaos breaks out.

  Chapter 30: Let The Bodies Hit The Floor

  Adam panicked. His initial reaction was to jump off the stage and get away. And there were two reasons that he decided to do that.

  One, the sight of Katie’s blood sent him into frenzy—even though it was dried blood. The moment he saw it, the blood against her throat, he found himself combing the gym for a sharp object. If he could locate one, he’d slaughter everyone in the gym and give himself a blood bath.

  The second reason was that he was enraged. So enraged that he thought about screaming out— showing the monster inside of him to the whole student body.

  Someone was mocking him. It made Adam’s blood boil that someone was mocking him, trying to play copycat. He hated to admit he was not the person who killed Katie Halston. Yes, he kidnapped her. Yes, he left her alone in his cabin. And yes, he planned on killing her himself, eventually.

  Feet away, he glanced up at the body that was hanging from a rope on the stage. Whoever performed this hack job of a murder was sloppy.

  Adam was anything but sloppy. All of his crimes were precise and planned out thoroughly planned. He would never put the body on display like that. It was a sure shot way of getting caught. And getting caught was the last thing Adam wanted.