A Whisper To A Scream

by S. B. Addison Books

  He spun around, inching closer. Katie squirmed and her eyes snapped open. She thrashed violently, trying to free herself from the restraints. “Adam!” she cried, muffled by a mouthful of silver tape. “Don’t do this!”

  Adam rested the blade of the butcher knife against his lips. The cold metal sent a chill down his arm. His foot began tapping; his palms were sweaty, fingers trembling. There was about to be a river of blood right before his eyes. And on top of his excitement for it, he hadn’t figured out what he could do to keep it from happening. How could he stop himself from killing Katie?

  In all honesty, he couldn’t. Once the monster came out, Adam had less control over himself. It was like an out of body experience. The monster controlled everything. And the only thing Adam could do was hover above and watch.

  He threw Katie a hateful look. Everything was all her fault. If she could have put her feud with Ellory to the side and stayed away from him, then they wouldn’t be here.

  Yes, Katie Halston could now blame her own death entirely on herself.

  Adam started pacing. When he first brought Katie here, he bound her to a chair with masking tape. He glanced over at her. She couldn’t speak because of the tape across her mouth but her eyes followed him. Then, she started sobbing. The sound of her muffled cries echoed throughout the confined space.

  Adam couldn’t think. The sound of her sobbing drowned out his hearing. He stopped mid-pace and pointed the butcher knife at Katie. “Would you shut up?” he screamed. “I can’t think!”

  Katie’s cries died down to a soft whine. Adam narrowed his eyes, thinking, hard. “To kill or not to kill, that is the question,” he said, trying to sound scholarly.

  There he was, letting his urges get the best of him. He had been doing so well lately. But then Katie had to come along and ruin everything.

  He walked closer to Katie, hovering over her. She cowered in the opposite direction in fear. More tears ran down her cheeks and Adam ripped the piece of masking tape off her mouth. “You’re sick!” she screamed.

  Adam looked at her emotionless with cold eyes. “Stop crying.”

  Katie lowered her head. “You’re going to kill me, aren’t you?”

  Adam smiled. “Yes. Yes I am.”

  That was when Katie started screaming—loud, howling— blood curdling screams. “Help me! Someone help me!”

  Adam reached around and turned on the stereo. He played Vivaldi—he swung his knife back and forth like he was conducting the piece himself.

  Katie continued screaming, and Adam put his empty hand over her mouth. “I thought I told you to stop crying.” Kate clamped her teeth down and bit into Adam’s hand.

  “Ouch!” Adam shook his hand and pulled it away. The second he did, Katie started screaming again. He walked over to the kitchen counter and tore off a fresh piece of masking tape. He stood in front of Katie and smacked the silver tape across her lips.

  “Don’t worry,” he whispered. “It will all be over soon.”

  Adam lifted the knife, bringing it to Katie’s throat. He dragged the knife lightly across her slender neck, giving her just a scratch, and he relished the sound of her scraping flesh. It was better than music and took him back to a time in his childhood. The first time he experienced his lust for blood.

  He stopped with the knife and gave it a little toss. Katie was crying so hard that she was having a hard time breathing. Adam placed the knife back on Katie’s throat, when he heard it…..

  Someone was knocking at the door. Adam froze.

  “Adam!” shouted Ellory. “Are you in there?”

  No. No. He thought. He could not let Ellory catch him doing this. So when she started pounding on the door a second time, he dropped the knife and jumped out the back window.

  Chapter 25: Where are you?

  The quaint little cottage stands out among the trees. A fleck of white, standing out in a sea of brown. Flickering candles burn brightly and I know I hear Vivaldi blasting from a stereo inside of the tiny house. I pound on the door, Adam’s sweater still tucked under my arm. “Adam!” No answer. “Are you in there?” I shout. I pound on the door again. Still no answer.

  I step away from the door, frustrated. I remove the sweater from underneath my armpit and lay it in front of the door. I lift my head, taking one last look at what Adam had called our special place, and then I turn around and disappear into the darkness.

  ****

  The next day, Wren shows up at my front door. “What’s going on with you?” she asks, placing her hands on her hips.

  I pull back the door. “Hey Wren. Come on in.”

  She steps inside with a fierce, protective look in her blue eyes. “I’ve been so worried! I thought something might have happened!”

  “I’m fine Wren.”

  “How was I supposed to know that? All of this Katie stuff has the whole town in an uproar.”

  We go into my room. I fall back on my bed and Wren clears a spot on the floor moving a mess of my dirty clothes with her foot. “So Katie hasn’t shown up at home yet?”

  “No,” Wren says quietly.

  “I still think everyone is making a big deal out of nothing. I still think she’ll come home eventually.”

  Wren scoffs. “I think you’re living in denial.”

  I sit up and cross my legs. “Wren, we’ve got to school with Katie our whole lives. We know her.” I tell her the same thing I told Mom yesterday. “She probably hooked up with a townie in a motel room or something.”

  Her eyes widen, baffled. “For two days in a row?”

  “I wouldn’t put it past her.”

  Wren looks around my room, taking in the mess and he eyes center on something on the floor. She picks up the card and flips it open. Her jaw drops. “You got another one?” She turns the card over a few times the stares at the inside again.

  “Yeah. A few days ago.”

  “Do you have any idea who it might be, then?”

  I thought it was Katie, but that turned out to be just an assumption. “No. I don’t know who it as and at this point I really don’t care.”

  “How can you say that?” Her voice goes up an octave. “Someone has been harassing you and you don’t care. What’s wrong with you?”

  “They got what they wanted. I don’t see the point in obsessing over it.”

  “What do you mean?”

  My heart sinks and my bottom lip quivers. I avoid eye contact all-together, afraid that if I look into Wren’s worried eyes, I’ll fall apart all over again. Today, I’ve been doing a good job keeping myself together. “Adam dumped me.” The words were so hard to get out that they come out barely above a whisper.

  I hear the emotion in Wren’s voice. “No.” She moves from the bed to the floor and pulls my head to her chest. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  I sigh. “Wren, I just want to forget about it. Can we please just talk about something else?”

  My throat vibrates and I feel like at any second I’m going to explode. I’ll become a splattered wall-paper of blood and guts. Please change the subject, Wren and do it fast.

  I pull away from Wren and she smiles exuberantly. “I got asked to homecoming.”

  A half-smile stretches across my lips. “That’s awesome. By who?”

  “Mike Roberts,” she says blushing. “He’s in my physics class.”

  I take both of her hands in mine. “Wren, I’m so excited for you.”

  “I’m pretty excited too,” she gushes. “You should see my dress.”

  “I’m sure it’s gorgeous.”

  Wren goes into detail and describes the cut of her dress, the color, the length and doesn’t leave out a single expletive. I’m so happy for her. She’s so selfless always giving and worrying about others before herself. She totally deserves this. She deserves all of the happiness the world can give.

  “You can come with us if you want,” she searches my eyes. “I know Mike wouldn’t care. I’m sure he’d love to have two dates.”

  “Wre
n, I’m not going to be the third wheel on your big night.”

  Wren looks down at her hands. “That’s not it. I wouldn’t consider you the third wheel, Ellory. You’re my best friend. This is our last homecoming and I just can’t imagine spending it without you.”

  Her kind words fill me up with warmth and cover up the void that’s missing inside of me. At the moment my sorrow is replaced by unrequited joy. But that only lasts briefly when I realize I might see Adam at homecoming with another girl and I don’t know if I can handle that yet. “I’ll think about it,” I tell her, hoping that she’ll be content with the fact that I’m not giving her a definite no or a definite yes. She is.

  Chapter 26: I Know

  On Monday, I’m frozen in the open door of my first period English class. Miss Miller sits at her desk reading a book and my eyes shift back and forth between my desk and Adam’s. I can’t decide if I’ll be able to go through with today. I told myself this morning that I’d be fine. I told myself that I’d made it through the worst of this whole break-up, but I haven’t seen Adam since Friday night, well technically, Saturday morning and I know when I do see him, I’m going to lose it.

  “Either come in Miss Graham or go to the office,” Miss Miller bellows, not taking her eyes off her book.

  I take a small step through the doorframe. I’m still glancing between the two desks. I don’t know what to do. I feel a warm gust of air on my neck. Someone is behind me. What if it’s him? What if it’s Adam? I march ahead down the aisle and take a seat in the back left corner of the room. The bell rings and they remaining students file into the room. Including Adam. He stares at my empty desk momentarily and then looks at Wren. I fold my arms on my desk and lie my head down, avoiding them, knowing that any second they are going to glance in my direction.

  My eyes wander over to my left. I focus on Katie’s desk. Katie’s empty desk. A wave of shock crashes into my gut and my chest sinks. I thought the whole Katie disappearing act was a hook-up gone wrong. Every part of me was sure of it. Yet, here I am, sitting across from her empty desk faced with reality. Katie Halston is a missing person and there’s good chance that she’ll never walk the halls of Logan High ever again.

  After class, I wander down the hall aimlessly, ignoring the loud talking, slamming lockers, and bodies brushing past me. I’m in a daze, staring straight ahead, eyes wide. I feel a hand on my shoulder, and then I hear Wren’s voice. “Did you see Katie wasn’t in class?”

  “Terrible.” That’s the only word I can get out.

  The first half of the day goes by in a blur. Logan High moves around me, but I can’t seem to keep it together. The halls suffocate me. On top of Adam, thoughts loom in the back of my mind that Katie is most likely lying in a ditch somewhere.

  I call Mom and tell her I don’t feel good and that I want to come home early. She doesn’t make a fuss or put up a fight, she just tells me she’ll be here to pick me up in twenty minutes.

  At my locker, I open the pewter metal door and the soles of my tennis shoes squeak, echoing through the bright empty hall. I gather a few folders, remove my book bag from the tiny hook inside, and go to close the door when a piece of paper floats out of my locker and swings back and forth until it rests on the speckled tile floor.

  I bend down to pick it up and a brown shoe stomps down on the paper, pinning it down. I tug on the paper. “Please move. This is mine.”

  “But you don’t even know what it is.” I bounce up quickly and slam my locker door. I’m face to face with Adam and he’s leaning against the locker next to mine. “Going somewhere?” he asks an intrigued look on his face.

  “I’m going home,” I tell him. “Can you please move your foot?” Adam picks his foot up and I snatch the paper. I stuff it in my back pocket and start down the hall. His footsteps pound behind me. He’s following me. I freeze and keep my back to him. “Adam what do you want?” I swallow painfully.

  “Thanks for giving my sweater back.”

  “Oh.” I face him. “You’re welcome.”

  He reaches out to touch my cheek. I flinch and move my head. “I’ve missed you.” His deep voice is low and tortured and empty. He’s a black abyss. A void of nothingness, but I can’t fight the feeling of want for him.

  I want him so bad the hurt crawls up my throat and sets it on fire. “You said I didn’t mean anything to you. How can you miss someone you don’t care about?”

  He smiles whimsically and lowers his head. “I lied. I was angry. Sometimes people say things they don’t mean when they’re angry.”

  “I never did anything to you. All I did was care enough and love you enough to want to help you through whatever was bothering you.”

  Adam’s jaw tightens and his lips form a straight line. “You don’t understand. I was trying to push you away to protect you. But I can’t Ellory. I can’t push you away anymore. I need you.”

  “Protect me,” I scoff. “Protect me from what?”

  His features darken despite the bright lighting in the hall. “From myself.”

  A part of me thinks he’s joking, but from the way he’s staring at me I know he’s not. “I don’t believe that,” I say.

  He glares at me incredulously. “What? You think I’d lie about something like that?”

  “No. I’m saying I don’t think you need to push me away from you to protect me because I don’t believe you’d ever hurt me.”

  “Ellory, there is a side to me that I never want you to see. I’m not who you think I am.”

  His words remind me of the note I’d received giving me the same warning.

  He’s talking in circles, making excuses. He has to know that I don’t care what he is. I was a walking corpse before I met him. Adam fills me up with joy. He fills me up with a love so intense that blurs the lines between fantasy and reality. He makes me feel full. I’m complete. And he has to understand that no flaw or personality issue will ever squash that love. Not now. Not ever.

  “I don’t care what you are.” I’ve noticed the darkness in his eyes and how at times he seems emotionless. “I love you, Adam.”

  A hysterical glint swells in his eyes. “You won’t. You’ll be just like everyone else. You won’t understand. You’ll runaway screaming. You’ll the see me for the freak I truly am.”

  “How can you say that?” My eyes shift to the back glass exit doors. Mom pulls up and honks the horn. “Adam, no matter what, I will always love you. And you will never be a freak to me.”

  Adam smiles, his lips shaky. “We’ll see.” He places his lips on my forehead and a tingling sense of belonging sweeps over me. No matter what Adam says, in that moment I know I belong with him and he belongs with me. What I feel for him isn’t a silly teenage crush or some lustful illusion. It’s real. So real that when I’m lying alone without him, my limbs ache for him, my heart hammers for him, and the love surges through my nervous system sparking like lightning bolts.

  I pull away from him and I feel myself splitting in two. As I turn and walk down the steps an overwhelming fear develops and claws at my insides. He’s brought out the part of me that’s been hidden for so long, and I’m proclaiming my love and acting out in a way I never thought I would. I know that such intense feelings are drastic, desperate, and tragic and rarely have happy endings.

  Chapter 27: Where Is She?

  By Friday there is still no lead or advancement on Katie’s disappearance. School isn’t the same. The once crazy hallways have died down to students walking around with haunting looks in their eyes. Yesterday day at lunch, I observed Megan White as she sobbed into her bowl of chicken noodle soup. Blake sat next to her and tried to comfort her, but she was inconsolable.

  The police showed up at the school and questioned everyone, but I can tell they don’t even know what to do. Nothing like this has ever happened in Burton. I only know of one crime that has ever been committed here and it was a man stealing another man’s cow. And that occurred over thirty years ago.

  The truth is I feel the sam
e way everyone does. Katie’s disappearance has left a tiny hole in my heart. Yes, we are—no—were enemies, but Katie was born and bred in this town just like me. Katie was one of our own. As I sit in English and stare at her empty desk for the fifth day in a row, I’ve come to the tragic and depressing conclusion that Katie Halston, my one time BFF turned frenemy is dead.

  They held a search party for Katie Thursday evening. I didn’t go. I didn’t think it was right of me to show up and put on a fake optimistic smile pretending we were friends when we weren’t. Maybe it was wrong of me not to go. But there was a part of me that couldn’t stomach it. I couldn’t go look for a person that I know is never coming back. I know that hope is pivotal in a situation this, but I think of all the missing that have come home after being missing. There has only been a few that I can remember.

  Despite the devastation, Mrs. Miller keeps us buried in homework. Every day that I walk into English my stomach lurches when I see her sitting in Ms. Winkle’s desk. I hope the old bag comes back soon because I have to admit that I miss her. There is something about Mrs. Miller that seems off and it’s not just that she gives me the creeps. It’s that no matter where I am or what I’m doing, it always feels like she’s watching me, observing me.

  She shows up in random places where I am, like she has my schedule memorized and I can’t help but wonder why?

  There have been times where I’ve caught her staring at Adam. Not like lovingly, but like a territorial stare. Seeing her like that puzzles me and in the back of my head I’m always wondering if she knows him from somewhere. A few times she’s caught me staring at them and her cold stare is enough to frighten the bravest person.

  I’ve been distant with Adam for the last couple days. I’ve been feeling guilty about the way Katie and I treated each other. And I’m curious, wondering what her reaction would be if the tables were turned. Would she feel the same way I do? Would she be as upset as I am if I was the one who was missing? I guess I’ll never know and that bothers me more than anything.