by King, C. M
His body stiffened at my words. “Fuck, Iz, is this why you were hesitant to tell me, you thought I’d freak out? I thought we were in a better place that we wouldn’t let our demons dictate our happiness.”
“I know and I’m sorry, I just didn’t know,” I protested. I didn’t know which way he would react.
“So instead of it being a day of celebration, you’ve wandered around looking sad over me? I just feel awful that you’d even think I wouldn’t be happy for you.”
I stood back and cupped his face. “Joel, please, I just didn’t—”
He sighed and closed his eyes for a few seconds before opening. “No, it’s fine. Let’s start again.”
“What, a do over?” I asked.
“Yes.” He smiled.
“Can we do it tomorrow, I’m bushed and I really don’t have the energy to tell people, especially Elijah.” I needed to brace myself for that moment.
“Then leave it till tomorrow, let’s have an early night and celebrate in our own way.” His lips pulled up at the corners in delight.
“And what would that be?” Though I really didn’t need to ask.
“Let me show you.”
He didn’t need to ask me twice.
* * *
“Oh god, Joel-don’t stop, seriously don’t stop, I’m almost there,” I panted, clinging onto him for dear life.
“Fuck Iz,” he groaned, with a look of desperation, clinging on so that he could get me there.
“I’m almost there, don’t come yet. Oh god-oh god.” I screamed as the orgasm ripped through me. Joel soon followed seconds later with an instant look of relief.
“I don’t know if I can take the job if it means giving this up for three months, I’m going to explode with frustration. I’ve gotten used to these regular orgasms. This being apart is really going to suck that way,” I huffed.
“We can get ’round it with phone sex,” Joel suggested, quirking a brow.
“It’s not the same, I need you inside me. I’ll always crave you.” I sighed, snuggling deep into his chest. “Phone sex doesn’t include snuggles either. What am I going to do without you in my bed? I’ve grown so accustomed to having you beside me that I don’t think I’ll sleep without you,” I groaned. I really was going to miss him so much.
“Hey, we’ll find a way. I can give you one of my T-shirts so you’ll have my scent to send you to sleep.” That thought alone almost sent me back to that dark place, when I spent over three months not knowing if Joel was even alive. That part of my life made me shudder. I hated even the slightest reminder. I purposely fought to push it to the back of my mind so I could keep my sanity.
“Joel, please—” I begged. I didn’t want him to say another word.
“Iz, what’s wrong?” He shuffled our bodies so we were now facing each other.
“Well, it just takes me back to that time that I don’t want to be reminded of,” I whispered. I hated even talking about it.
His fingers stroked my cheek. “Hey, this time it’s different, you are the one leaving me.”
“Yeah, but not willingly it’s my job, I have to go,” I stressed, I didn’t want to leave him for a moment.
“I know, that’s why this time it isn’t a bad thing there’s distance between us,” he explained, pressing his lips against my forehead.
“So you’re not going to miss me then?”
He sighed. “Of course I’ll miss you, but this time will be different. When you sleep with my shirt it’s only because you’re doing the job you love and if that takes you away from for a while, then I can deal with that.”
“So do you want one of my shirts?” I asked.
“I don’t need one. I smell your vanilla scent everywhere I go.” His sweet words made me smile.
“So we’ll speak every day?”
“Of course and FaceTime, cause I need to see this face.” His fingers lifted my chin so I was staring right into his eyes.
“And we’ll have phone sex.” I blushed slightly just at the thought.
“Yep, looking forward to that part.”
“Have you ever had phone sex with anyone?” Oh god, why did I have to ask? I really didn’t want to know.
“No, you’re my first.” He grinned and I knew he was enjoying this part way too much.
“I don’t know what my schedule is going to be like, but hopefully we can see each other somewhere in between, even if it’s just for a day. I can only handle being away from you for so long, a girl has needs that can’t be fulfilled over the phone and I need to be this close to you, to feel you up close and personal.” Every part of me burned for him, it always would. I constantly craved his touch.
“We need to more than make up for it before you leave,” he suggested, smiling.
“I have a month while the tour is on a break, so you’ll have enough time to more than make me happy.”
“Yeah, that might be long enough, I guess. I can work with that.”
“Well, you know I am a greedy girl and I will always want more,” I breathed, brushing my lips against his.
“You have no complaints from me, I love how I brought out this side out of you.” He slowly kissed his way down my neck.
“You brought out a lot of things, trust me,” I moaned. His lips were slowly undoing me in the best way possible.
“I just helped you to unleash what you were always holding back.”
A smile tugged on my lips. “I never knew I had it in me till we—”
He flicked his eyes up to meet mine. “I love the way you still blush when you try to talk about it.” He chuckled.
“I think I always will.” I would forever be tomato red whenever the subject was brought up.
“Good, I love your sexy blush, I find it sweet.”
“Well, I don’t, I hate that I always react the same way, you would think I’d be conditioned to it now.” I hated the way my face always gave me away. Traitor.
“Hey, don’t ever change a thing, Iz, I love every part of you.” He lips kissed along my cheek to returning to my lips.
“Even the bad parts?” I mumbled between kisses.
He pulled away in confusion. “What bad parts?”
“Oh you know the jealousy, the moody me. I don’t think you love them,” I snorted. I hated those traits about myself, but it was something I just couldn’t control.
“Wrong, I love every part of you. I like that you get jealous, that you are staking your claim. But I’ll always tell you the same thing over and over you are the only one I want,” he stressed, urging me with his eyes to believe him.
I frowned. “I know, I feel the same. I think I finally get it.”
“Good, because I need you to know that I am yours and you are mine, nothing or no one will break us. We’re going to live long happy lives together.”
“But what about the wedding?” It was already a touchy subject, the thought of asking him to delay it even more scared me. Would he take it to heart?
He sighed. “The wedding will just have to be pushed back, I can handle that. I’d rather see you happy doing the job you love than stuck behind the bar with me.”
“It does have its perks though when the boss is so hot.” I rolled on top of him so our faces were barely inches apart.
“Wow, that’s not very professional of you, taking advantage of your boss, perving over him when you think he’s not watching.” He grinned.
Oh he loved every minute of it.
“That is the highlight of my day.”
“Scandalous, maybe I need to give you a warning.”
I brushed my nose slowly along his teasingly. “So am I a bad girl.”
“Very bad,” he breathed.
“Well, don’t bad girls get punished?” I asked, smiling innocently.
“They sure do.”
“So what’s my punishment?” I barely had time to speak before he flipped me over onto my back, his eyes stared deep into mine, instantly ignited with lust. I felt him hard pressed up against m
e, and I moaned softly anticipating his next move, hoping that it would result in me ending up with one hell of an orgasm.
He flicked his tongue teasingly along his lips, so my eyes lingered there, hoping that mouth was going to be my undoing.
“Joel?” I asked, feeling impatient.
His eyes met with mine and he smirked, sending a shiver through me.
“Well? What’s my punishment?”
“Here, let me show you.”
Within seconds, his mouth was on me taking my breath away for all the right reasons.
Chapter Fifteen
The next day we invited everyone around to break the news. There was a lot of suspicious activity, but we didn’t give in no matter how much they persisted. They would all find out together. I put together a nice brunch of croissants, cheese, waffles and pancakes. I didn’t want to do any hot food certain the moment I told them all thoughts of food would go out the window.
Elijah was the first to arrive, of course the interrogation started the moment he walked through the door, but we both remained tight lipped despite his best efforts. My mother and Mike arrived shortly after. Joel busied himself making a round of coffees as everyone waited in anticipation of what I was about to announce.
“I’m glad you could make it ’round here for us to give you our news,” I said smiling as Joel approached me from behind wrapping his arms around my waist.
“I can only stop for an hour, Saturday in the boutique is a bitch, and we need all hands on deck,” Elijah stressed, urging me with his eyes to hurry up.
“It won’t take long, but we have some great news to tell you.”
“Oh my god, you’re pregnant?” my mother shrieked, looking completely horrified.
“What?” I asked shocked by how she’d suddenly concluded such a thing.
“All that education gone to waste, you’ve just graduated, and now you’re having a baby. I expected more from you Izzy, I thought you would be careful, that you were on some form of contraception. I can’t believe I’m going to be a grandmother at my age,” she ranted, shaking her head in disbelief.
“Mum—”
“I don’t know, I wanted more for you. I wanted you to see some life before you had kids to tie you down.”
“Well, I’m happy to be an uncle,” Elijah chimed in, smiling.
“You wouldn’t be an uncle, I’m the uncle,” Mike cut in.
“Just because we’re not blood related doesn’t mean I can’t be an uncle,” Elijah snorted, shooting glares at Mike.
“Yes, it does.”
“Says who?” Elijah shrieked.
“Errr me.”
“Whatever, Mike, if it had went your way they would have still been apart.”
“Why are you bringing that up? That’s in the past,” Mike growled, anger flashed in his eyes at the mere mention of his previous actions.
“Yeah, well, people in glass houses, if I want to be the baby’s uncle then I bloody well will be,” Elijah huffed, crossing his arms.
“For the love of god, I’m not even pregnant,” I yelled.
“What?” Everyone asked as I rolled my eyes. Of course they had all jumped to the wrong conclusion. Joel kissed my cheek and chuckled waiting for me to finally unveil my big news.
“What I was about to say, if you’d let me finish, is I got the casting job with Fame, I’m going to be touring the country in a month’s time.”
“No way,” Elijah screeched, almost piercing my ear drums.
“Yes, I got the call yesterday to say that my performance was outstanding and that they want me to join the cast,” I replied, grinning.
“Izzy, that’s amazing.” My mother leapt up and hugged me hard. I could barely breathe, but I let her have her moment after all I had nearly turned her grey.
“Thanks.” I smiled pulling away only to see tears fill her eyes with the happy news.
“I need a hug too, sis,” Mike said, moving past my mother. I smiled as he hugged me hard, planting a soft kiss on my head. “Proud of you, sis. I’m glad everything is working out for you. You deserve it after all that hard work you’ve put in.” I moved back and looked at him surprised, he was never one to really shower any praise so this was a first. But I’d gladly take it, not knowing the next time he would be so open with his feelings.
“Out of my way, Mike. I need to hug Izzy now, stop hogging her,” Elijah snapped, walking towards us.
“I swear, Izzy, one of these days I won’t be responsible for my actions,” Mike whispered in my ear.
“Shush, he will hear.”
“Good.” He winked and moved away but not before he shot a glare in Elijah’s direction.
“Finally I get to squish you on your great news.” He grabbed me and squeezed me hard. I had to laugh, any more hugs and I was sure I’d end up with bruises. “I’m so proud of you.”
He pulled back with tears in his eyes, and I could see the genuinely meant it. I was a little scared there would be some jealousy after all I was getting to do something he really wanted as well but there was nothing there but happiness for me. For that little act of selflessness in wishing me well in my new venture, I loved him even more.
“You’ll have to skype me and let me know how you are getting on. Let me know the tour dates and I’ll make sure me and Sam have a front row seat to cheer you on and show our support.”
“I don’t think I could perform knowing you’re right there in the front row,” I replied, feeling slightly unnerved by it all.
“Fine, we’ll book a few rows back but we are definitely coming to see you.”
“Okay,” I conceded, knowing fine well he would get his own way.
“Oh and we’ll be there too,” my mother chimed in.
“Fame really isn’t my kind of—”
“You’re there to support your sister, I don’t care, we’re going, Mike,” my mother barked.
“Sheesh, okay, keep your hair on.” He scowled.
“Oh Fame is fabulous, Mike, you will love it,” Elijah piped up, enjoying winding him up.
“Yeah, whatever,” Mike muttered.
It really wouldn’t be my brother’s cup of tea, but he would be dragged along anyway. I didn’t know whether my dad would get the time off work and fly over, but I was hopeful he would. I made a mental note to Skype him preferably when he wasn’t in bed.
After the big reveal, we went onto have a lovely brunch together. My mother made light of the fact she thought I was pregnant, from her reaction it was perfectly clear that she wouldn’t have been happy at all. I knew she wanted to see me have a life first, but I couldn’t help but feel sad she had reacted in such a disgusted way to what would have been her first grandchild. Joel made light of it, but I could see he was taken back by her hostility. It had made me see her in a different light. We never really discussed it afterwards, though Joel seemed slightly withdrawn. I thought it had maybe sparked something inside that always told him he was not good enough, so I made a mental note to try to boost his ego over the next few days. Elijah’s reaction had been the total opposite; he had embraced the potential new arrival with open arms even regarding himself as an uncle, which made me smile. I would hope that despite the years that would pass between us we would always remain best friends. I wanted him in my children’s life too. He always said he would love to adopt, and I thought he and Sam would make amazing parents. Whomever they raised would have a blessed life. They would want for nothing.
Joel made preparations for the rota now that I was no longer working at the pub. He managed to rejig it so my hours were shared out amongst the other members of staff. They were eager for the extra money so it worked out well in the end. On my last day we all had a mini lock in where we had a round of drinks together toasting my new career. Of course there had been plenty of jokes from the guys, I wouldn’t have expected anything less, and they even arranged an impromptu dance to the main theme song. That was an image I would never forget all four guys decked out in headbands and leg warmers. I cou
ldn’t stop laughing at the absurdity of it all. Even though I was mighty relieved to be heading onto pastures new, where I would be starting the career I always dreamt about, there was still a part of me that would miss the staff and the customers and the day to day banter that we exchanged. But I managed to appease everyone by telling them I would drop in when I could to see them all. The fact of the matter was I knew I was going to be run ragged working my socks off for the next month, and then I’d be off on tour, but it was better to tell a tiny lie and leave on a high note than a sad one.
The next few days were manic, sorting out all the documentation, handing over forms and after a lot of to and froing, I finally became a full cast member that was now on the payroll. Just having this as my work role was the greatest achievement of all. I was still in shock days on, but I knew I would soon snap out of it the moment training began, but I had an advantage, I was a quick learner. I had a great memory and could pick up steps within minutes. I hoped my quick pace was enough to get me through so I’d be ready to join the tour in the month’s time.
* * *
After the first week, I came home almost broken, the dance sessions had been long. The day was split up between the dance and learning my lines. As it wasn’t a main role, the lines part was manageable. I was certain once I got into the rhythm of performing everyday everything would soon flow effortlessly, I hoped. It was a massive thing to undertake, but I grabbed the opportunity with both hands.
Joel was amazing. He was there to rub my feet and give me a pep talk when I came home battered and bruised. He was the one that kept me going when all I wanted to do was have a duvet day and reacquaint myself with my friends Ben & Jerry. Elijah was great too, he would come around and sit there while I relayed all my day back to him. His eyes lit up as I walked him through the performance that I couldn’t help feel sad that my friend wasn’t going to be there to share it with me. Of course he kept me topped up with Maltesers, and we’d still have our film nights, just I would fall asleep half way through. It was a good thing Ruby was there to listen to Elijah chat about Channing and Ryan. She was used to it. She was still his princess despite the fact she could now crush you when she tried to work her way onto your knee. She still had that strong bond with him, and he still had his Ruby nights where he’d take her home and spoil her. I worried that she would take it bad when I finally left. Would she think that I had neglected her? The thought alone made me teary. I never wanted her to think that I had abandoned her. I wished that I could take her with me, but I knew that was never an option. I couldn’t even think about the day when I would leave her behind without tears filling up my eyes. She was my beautiful dog and I never wanted to have to say goodbye. I couldn’t even think about saying goodbye to Joel, the thought alone killed me. I think we were both in denial, living in the moment, trying to pretend that the days were slowly counting down to my departure. It was a weird feeling. I was filled with a level of excitement for what was ahead, but a part of me just didn’t want to say goodbye. It was a double edge sword.