Circle of Friends: Love, Lust & Destruction

by Rain, Renee

  “Well, at least you can be honest in admitting that you still want her.” Sabrina waited for a reply, but he was silent. She asked him why he didn’t divorce if he wasn’t happy in the marriage. He reminded her that there was no prenuptial and he would lose too much money if he left.

  “We’re in this lifestyle, I can’t cry infidelity. So it’s cheaper to play along with her.” He went on, “She says she’s not attracted to me, but hell, I’m not exactly turned on by her lesbian tendencies. I married that woman because I love her. Shoot, as fast as she got pregnant with the first two, I just knew we’d have a house full of kids by now. But no, she gives me two babies- that I love dearly- and she goes and gets her tubes tied. Then she all but tells me that she doesn’t want to make love to me anymore”.

  Sabrina sat speechless. On one hand she wanted to tell Henry that his children looked nothing like him, but she was sure someone must have already told him that. Then she felt like he and Rachel needed to talk about their issues and she should step away to allow him some space. On the other hand, she felt like she was fucking the man of her dreams and wanted Rachel to disappear. She sat on his lap and kissed him. They looked into each other’s eyes for a moment, but it felt like forever. She never thought she would run into a man who truly just wanted to be loved by the person he loved.

  “You know,” he paused as he motioned for her to get up. “I’m wrong for coming at you with my issues.” He grabbed his clothes and started putting on his pants. As she stood in silence, he continued talking. “I guess I’m really tired of just fucking and I want a true relationship with intimacy and friendship. And my feelings for you just….” He laughed as he recalled telling her that feelings can’t get involved in this lifestyle.

  “I know. Let’s not talk about it now,” she tapped his nose with her index finger and smiled. She put her dress on and sat back on the edge of the bed to put her shoes on. “So, is this her scent?” She asked referring to his comment about her perfume. He told her that he had a lady at the beauty counter help him find a perfume for Rachel when they first married. “I love that scent, always did. But she would never wear it. Hell, I think she threw the bottle away. But anyways, it doesn’t matter.” He grabbed his shoes without finishing his comment.

  “Look, we both have issues within our relationships. Shoot, we both have issues within ourselves. Maybe it will be best if I stay away and work on myself and allow you and Rachel to deal with your issues, go on with your issues or whatever you decide to do.” He told her that he was not trying to chase her away. She told him that he wasn’t chasing her away. “I am very attracted to you. Physically, sexually and,” she paused, “I think in more than just a lustful way. The problem is, you are married, and I know my heart. I know that Rome is not the man that I will spend the rest of my life with, but you can’t be.”

  When she mentioned Rome, he must have been reminded that she is a woman that a close friend of his is seeing. “Yea, I forgot about Rome,” he shook his head. It was almost 4am and she needed to get home, take a shower and get some sleep. They both stood from the bed. Henry told her that he knew that the circumstances weren’t perfect. “I need to keep seeing you,” he stated sincerely. She looked up at him and felt a little heartbroken. She told him that she did care about him, but that their situation had already gone further than it should have. He caressed her face and leaned over and kissed her. He kissed her behind the ear, then the cheek, and then the lips. He placed his hand on the side of her face, she couldn’t resist as his tongue grazed her bottom lip. The way it felt swirling in her mouth made her want to suck on it. After studying her face for a moment, he led her to the door without saying a word. She walked out of the room labeled “Your Fantasy” without looking back. She knew she had messed up and wished that she had never entertained Rome with the idea of swapping. She had tunnel vision as she headed straight for the door with the exit sign above it. Per protocol, one of the security guards walked her to the car and waited until she drove off. She turned on the radio and shook her head as she realized her favorite sex song was next in rotation in the CD player. It gave her an instant flash back of the time that just ended. She made her way home safely, showered and went to bed thinking about Henry.

  Meanwhile, Henry sat back down on the bed and was staring at the wall as Rachel walked in. “Your girl walked out of here like you fucked her too hard big boy” she teased as she sat down next to him with a smile. He didn’t respond and continued to stare at the wall. “It wasn’t too bad was it?” She questioned as a look of disgust came over her face. “Henry did you break the rules?” She exclaimed as she stood up.

  He shifted his focus to her, stood up, and kissed her forehead. “The rules were broken when we brought this lifestyle into our marriage”.

  Rachel looked confused as she asked him if he was thinking about closing the club. “No”, he placed one of her hands between both of his. “I would be a fool to close down this cash cow. But I’m ready to close my relationship to everyone except a wife and I need a wife who is on board”.

  Rachel could feel her heart racing as she tried to laugh it off. “You mean you just got done fucking a chick and decided that, hmmm, you just want to fuck your wife from now on?” She pulled her hand away and started pacing the room. “Henry babe, you know I love you.” She stopped in the middle of the room. “But you know, I cannot please you and the thought of sitting on your dick makes me cringe. Why can’t we just do like we have been doing? Or better yet, why don’t we just find a third person who we both like who can handle your dick and you can have like two wives?” Henry started shaking his head back and forth. He wasn’t sure if he was hurt or offended, but the words that came out of Rachel ’s mouth were her truths.

  Henry walked up to her until her back was against the wall. He grabbed a chair and sat in front of her-just in between her legs. “We have two kids together.” He placed his hands on her waist. “And you mean to tell me that you never enjoyed making love to me?” She looked down at him, he had watery eyes. “Rachel, just honestly tell me that you never enjoyed making love to me.” His voice started sounding desperate as he began kissing her waist.

  He began moving his hands up the back of her thighs until he was squeezing her soft behind which always felt so good to him. “Have you done anything tonight?” he asked as he tucked both of his lips into his mouth and slowly released them. She knew that he meant and reluctantly told him the truth. “No.” Pleased by her answer, he pushed up her dress and kissed his way up the inside of her thighs. Once he arrived at his destination, he slid her panties to one side exposing her well trimmed, yet fully covered prize. She smelled slightly sweaty as if she had been dancing, but Henry loved her scent.

  With a sense of panic, Rachel pushed him away. “No. Not tonight. I can’t.” She hurried and pulled her dress down and headed to the door. Henry assumed it was because he had been with Sabrina and didn’t question her. “I’m about to leave,” she stated as she stood at the door.

  “Will I see you at home?” He asked as he stood and straightened his shirt. She looked at him silently for a moment and walked out the door without answering.

  The couple left the club in separate cars as they always did, giving Henry time to drive with no distractions. Once again, Sabrina was on his mind. He found himself comparing her sexual ways with him to those of his wife. Her passive aggressive ways turned him on and he loved that she seemed so soft-spoken, yet obviously eager to please her partner. Rachel was smart, but Sabrina gave him an ear to listen and actually heard what he was saying. Henry pulled into his empty driveway and sat. The quiet storm was well over and the sun would be coming up soon. After about 20 minutes, Rachel hadn’t showed up. He texted her to see where she was at and almost immediately, she replied “Don’t wait up. I need to think about some things.” Henry replied “okay” and went into the house. As he showered, he thought back and forth about Sabrina and Rachel . He was sure that Rachel would come home and agree to close the doors on
their relationship and he looked forward to this. He knew that he would have to stop seeing Sabrina, but to save the marriage with the woman he had loved for so long, he was willing to walk away from all other women. He went to sleep hoping that Rachel would be there when he woke up.

  Sabrina stayed in bed all morning. She sent Rome a text message when she first woke up but hadn’t heard anything. At 2:00pm, she decided to call and to her surprise, he answered. “Have you been okay?” she stated in a certainly concerned tone. “I’ve been calling and texting and haven’t heard a thing. I was starting to get worried about you”. He paused and began to tell her that he was just taking some time to think. He stopped his intended sentence and asked if he could come over to which she agreed. Soon after they ended their call, Tamera sent her a text to give her daily ‘the streets be talking’ update.

  “Word around my part of town is Rome and April went to the mountains together,” was what the text read. It was followed by, “When was the last time you saw him?” Sabrina didn’t reply to either message. She was only slightly moved by this news because she figured something was going on for him to not respond for so long. She got out of bed, made some coffee and brushed her teeth. She had just poured a cup of coffee and put on her robe when Rome rang from the main entrance. He must have been nearby during the call because a half hour hadn’t passed. She buzzed him in and waited. When he knocked at the door, her heart began to race. She opened the door to find him standing on the other side clean shaved and smelling good. Even though she was upset with him, she couldn’t help but to smile as she welcomed him to come in. “Would you like a cup of coffee?” she asked as she led him to the breakfast area. He declined the offer telling her that he had his limit for the day.

  As they sat next to each other at the table, he asked how she had been. “Wondering if you cared,” she replied. He looked with an expression of pity. He knew he had been ignoring her calls and texts and had no real explanation for why he hadn’t been in touch. His truth was that he had spent a few days with his ex-girlfriend in a cabin up in the mountains and couldn’t bring himself to tell Sabrina. Even though they were not in a monogamous relationship, he couldn’t bring himself to admit that he had been ignoring her because he was screwing April the whole time. He always had a problem with being honest in his relationship and blames it on his mother being unfaithful to his father. He never told his father what he knew, but felt that his mother made his father look like a fool with the affairs she had. In the back of his mind, maybe he wanted to make sure no woman would ever make a fool of him.

  He pulled his chair close to her and placed his hands on her lap. “I know I’ve been missing in action. I just needed to stop and look at some things.” He took a deep breath and looked towards the balcony doors. “So what did you come up with?” she asked in a flat tone as she stirred her coffee. She felt like she should be preparing for the worst, but the worst thing he could say was that he wanted to end the relationship, and she actually would have embraced a break up. She cared about him, but she felt like he already ended the relationship when he failed to communicate with her for days at a time.

  “Look umm, I’ve had my share of women.” This came out of his mouth with a nervous tone. “And I liked the way my life had been.” She waited for the word ‘but’ to come out and he didn’t fail as he continued talking. “But I’m feeling a little different about you.” He sat back in the chair as if he were searching for words. He went on to explain that since the last party, he’s been having reservations about the lifestyle. “I care about you a lot more than I realized and I would rather be with just you in a relationship than to have ill feelings about someone else screwing you.” He paused and cracked his neck before he went on. “I know you were at Henry’s club last night. Rachel texted me.” He stated as if to scold her. “And know you two have been meeting at the hotel. She also told me that Henry hadn’t been staying at home on Tuesday nights, which is probably why you cancel so many Wednesdays with me. ” With a slightly smirked expression, she tilted her head and replied with one word, “True”.

  He decided to remind her that Henry was a long time friend and that sex with women other than his wife was just part of the lifestyle. Sabrina began to feel anger building inside. She understood from the first night that the sex was just sex and was irritated by him acting as if she wasn’t aware.

  “So is this a case of you introduce me to something that you figured I would run from and I didn’t run?” She tilted her head in disappointment. “Is that it Rome? You figured I’d be like your last girlfriend, nut up and run. Or is it that I went to your boys club last night without you so he could fuck the hell out of me since you weren’t available? All of a sudden you want to be monogamous and just a week ago, you wanted a super freak.” She stared at every inch of him. “It’s a control thing isn’t it? You don’t want to be monogamous; you just want to swing when it’s in your favor.” She laughed as he shook his head ‘no’.

  He put his hands over his head and leaned forward looking to the floor. “You showed me that you would do what you thought would make me happy and I love that you care enough about me to set aside your ways and roll with mine.”

  At that point, she was a little offended. “You exposed me to something I had only heard rumors of- just to see if I would do it? I took a sip, and now I want to keep drinking and you want me to stop?”She shook her head. “ You see Rome,” she took a deep breath and went on, “you don’t tease a kitten with a loose ball of yarn, cause eventually it will unravel and someone will have to put it back together. Let’s just end this now, cause I’m not Tameka and I dammed sure ain’t April.”She realized she was over their relationship and really just wanted to be done with him. She stood up without a tear in her eye and walked towards the door. Knowing just what she wanted him to do, he followed her.

  He looked at her and stated in an almost caring tone, “You just be careful out there. Keep getting tested just in case a rubber breaks. Don’t get your feelings in it, it will only break your heart at the end.” He shook his head as he pulled his keys out of his pocket. She rolled her eyes up as she asked why he was shaking his head. “I’m just tripping. Maybe I am being selfish. But I feel like I love you.”

  “How could you say you love me now. You don’t love me Rome. You’re just selfish.” She thought to herself how all of a sudden when she’s falling for Henry- Rome wants to tell her that he loves her. She laughed at him just a moment and he looked at her like he was confused. “Practice what you preach Rome,” she unlocked the door. She didn’t tell him that she got a text just before he came from Tamera informing her that he was out of town with April. She was no better for her involvement with Henry, but as far as she was concerned- Rome put her in that situation. She felt a need to get Rome out of her system for good.

  She cancelled her plans to meet Tamera at the mall and decided to get her laundry and housekeeping done. That night, she decided to go back to Club Amoré. She was surprised to find that neither Henry nor Rachel were present. She ordered a glass of wine at the bar and asked the bartender if either of the two were in Eros. He held his lip tight and nodded his head “no”.

  A younger blond woman sat next to her. She looked like she may have been in her mid to late twenties. As Sabrina sipped on her drink, the other woman introduced herself as Holly. She replied with her name and the two shook hands. “So I heard you asking about the owner Henry.” She looked to the bartender and ordered a martini. Sabrina asked if she knew Henry and Rachel. “I’ve seen them in passing, but nothing more.” She looked through her designer bag to get some money to pay the bartender. She tossed her hair to the side and scooted to the edge of the barstool to get closer to Sabrina. “So, you haven’t heard?” Sabrina nodded her head because she had no idea as to what this woman was talking about. “It’s been buzzing all over the place this evening that Rachel was found dead in her car sometime today.”

  Sabrina held her drink in her mouth for a minute. She swallowed har
d and asked Holly, “what do you mean she was found dead?”

  “Yes, she was missing for like most of the day. Henry and one of his friends went looking for her since the police said she had to be missing 24 hours before they would act on a missing persons report. Well, they found her in her car at a park on the north end. She was in the driver’s seat with a note that just said she was sorry. Now I don’t know if she took some pills, shot herself or what, but she’s gone.” Holly took a drink and scanned the club.

  Sabrina called the number that she had in her phone for Henry. There was no answer. She immediately started riffling through her purse looking for the business card that he gave her when they first met. It had his alternate cell phone number on it and she felt a serious need to call him. Tucked among store receipts and shoppers cards, she found it. She dialed the number and waited. After five rings, it went to his voice mail, but she didn’t leave a message.

  She looked at the clock. It was 11:30pm. She decided to call Rome. The line rang twice before she heard his voice on the other end. “I was hoping you would call,” were the first words she heard him say. She took her purse, tilted her head to Holly and walked outside. “Hey Rome what are you doing?” She held her head down but her eyes looked up to see if anyone was around as she stood just outside the door. She could tell that Rome had just taken a sip of a drink as he told her that he was over at Henry’s house. “Something happened to Rachel and there’s some serious shit going on. I think you need to be here.”