Circle of Friends: Love, Lust & Destruction

by Rain, Renee

  She could hear other people in the background as he asked her if there was any chance that she could come out to Henry’s right then. “Well, I’m a ways out, but I suppose I can come out there.” She had an unsure tone to her voice as if she really didn’t want to go and Rome sensed it right away.

  “What the hell do you mean by that?” There was a moment of silence. “You have a lot of nerves acting like you really don’t care and this could be a matter of your life.” It sound like he took another drink. “Look, I am sure you weren’t calling to say ‘hey Rome I’m yours’, I get that.” Sabrina cut him off before he could finish ranting and told him that she would be there soon and hung up.

  When she arrived at Henry’s, she slowly walked to the front porch and through the door. Initially, she didn’t see any familiar faces. As she approached the kitchen, she saw Rome and Scott sitting at the counter with drinks in their hands talking. Scott nudged Rome to draw his attention to the fact that she was there.

  “Hey there.” Rome stood up, place one arm around her waist, tilted her chin up and kissed her. His demeanor was completely different from the telephonic scolding he had given her not long ago. He acted as if they were a happy couple meeting up on a date. She was surprised for a moment, but she reciprocated the kiss and acknowledged Scott by nodding her head to him. He told her that Rachel was dead.

  “Oh no.” She tried her best to give a sorrowful tone. “Where is Henry at?” She asked as she scanned the faces of strangers. With an emphasis on his name, Rome replied. “Henry is not doing so well. Actually, none of us are.” He picked his drink up and told her to follow him.

  They walked down the hall to their home office. When they entered, she quickly focused on the silent, tearful man who sat in one of two leather recliners. “Hey man,” Rome stated to get Henry’s attention. He looked up and for a split second he and Sabrina locked eyes. He gestured to them to have a seat on the chaise lounge that sat across from his seat. “I’m really sorry.” Henry cut her words short by holding his hand up letting her know that he wanted her to be quiet.

  “It’s been years of playing this game and I would have never imagined it ending like this.” Henry spoke to Rome as he filled his glass with his favorite top shelf cognac. Rome replied by nodding his head and took a sip of his drink. Tears began to roll down his face. Scott walked in and closed the door. Rome turned towards Sabrina and just looked at her for a moment. She looked over at Henry who was looking down at some papers that were on the table next to him.

  “Bri,” Rome placed her hand between his, “Rachel took her own life.” He didn’t know that she already knew this, but she couldn’t understand why Rome was acting as if she needed to be consoled. After all, he knew she did not care for Rachel at all. Rome went on to explain that the reason Rachel committed suicide was the reason she was asked to come out to the house. Henry walked over and kneeled in front of her. As he handed her papers that had the health departments letter head on them, he told her that Rachel may be positive. Her hesitant response was, “positive for what?” Rome took the papers, sat then on the table and placed his hands over his head and leaned forward. Rome stated, “HIV, Sabrina, HIV.” Henry said that Rachel received a letter from the health department stating that her information was given to them as being a recent sex partner of someone who tested positive for HIV. “It said that she needed to come in for testing and have a list of all previous sex partners in case additional notification is needed.” Henry took another drink.

  “I think she just didn’t know how to tell anyone because she felt that it was her fault. She admitted in her note that she had been sleeping with people outside of the circle that she met at the club and online.” Henry wiped the tears from his eyes. “She left a notebook with dates and names of over 80 men and women she had sex with over the last 5 years.” Henry sounded calm as he said this. He realized she may have been turning down his advances because she was seeing so many other people. All Sabrina could do was shake her head. “I left the note she wrote so the police could do whatever they needed to do with it. But this list…..I can’t have people knowing this.” He leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes as if he were thinking.

  “Damn.” She stood up and went to where Henry had been sitting. She filled his glass with cognac, stood there with her back turned, tilted her head up and drank. She thought Rachel would panic, but to take her own life, she didn’t think that she would do that. She drank some more. Once the glass was empty, she turned around to face the two men who were now standing in anticipation of her next reaction. She picked up the papers as if she just wanted to read them. She knew that she had to get rid of them. “So what does this mean for me?” She asked with a flat tone of voice. Rome stated, “it means you’re going to have to get tested, we all have to get tested and often for a while.”

  She then looked at Henry who stood with a solemn expression. “She slept with over 80 different people.” She stated to Henry as he walked closer to her. He put his arms around her waist. “Baby I promise I’ve tested negative twice since the last time me and Rachel had sex. I didn’t lie to you.” He kissed her on her lips and tears ran down her face.

  Rome suddenly became angered. “What the fuck do you mean baby? You two are fucking and got feelings for each other?” Scott stood in front of Rome when he started pushing his chest out as if to challenge Henry. Scott knew about Henry and Sabrina all along. After all- it was his hotel that Henry kept a suite for them to meet at.

  “Rome. How did you enjoy your time in the mountains?” He looked at her silently as she continued talking. “You go and tell April I said that I wish you two the best and don’t stand in my face acting like you were ever so into me.”

  Reality was sitting in fast and this was way too much for her to digest. She felt a surge of adrenaline going through her bloodstream. She was only being facetious by sending the fake letter and labs. Now she worried about Rachel admitting to sleeping with all of those people-what if she really did have something and they are all walking time bombs?

  “Look, I will keep getting tested and let you all know my results. But I’m done with all of this.” Sabrina pulled her keys out of her purse, put the papers in her purse and left before anyone could ask her to give them back. Kent noticed her storm away with tears in her eyes and must have figured that they had broken the news to her. To a degree, Sabrina wasn’t truly worried about HIV, but was more bothered about Rachel taking her own life because she was being malicious. She decided that she would not mention any of this to Tamera. She was sure that if the streets talked to her the way she claimed, she would find out about this on her own. Sabrina’s drive home was long and sobering. Rome called her cell phone several times- she didn’t answer. Henry called, but she didn’t answer him either.

  She went to the funeral and even met up with Henry twice after Rachel was buried. The second time they saw each other was too much for her. They tried to screw each other’s brains out, and physically she loved it. But he told her that he never wanted her to leave him. She was sure he was just in his grief, and although she wanted him even more, she couldn’t stomach the thought of his wife being out of the picture in the manner in which it occurred. She assumed that Rachel was doing enough playing on the side that she felt guilty without getting tested. But Sabrina couldn’t believe that she would do something so extreme without confirmation. She kept telling herself that she didn’t make her do it, but she felt a need to stay away from everyone.

  The next few months were long and stressful but she did follow through with testing every three months. Once she had two lab results come back negative, she only texted the information to relay it to Rome and Henry. When they would reply trying to converse, she didn’t respond. She often saw Rome in passing at work, but would never stop to talk. One Friday afternoon, as Sabrina was heading to her car, Rome decided to stop her and try to get her to say more than a simple hello. “Hey Sabrina. What have you been up to?” This was all he could think to say.
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  “Just working and trying to pay bills,” she replied. He asked if she would join him for dinner one day. “No.” Her response was quick. She told him that she was looking for a second job and that she really didn’t have the time or money to be eating out. He looked at her like she was crazy. She was sure that he wondered why in the world she needed a second job because he knew about how much her salary was. Her living expenses weren’t high either. But the truth was, for months Sabrina patched up her anxiety and grief with shopping and taking weekend trips to the casino’s that she couldn’t afford.

  “Well, I’m sure you aren’t interested, but Henry is looking for a part time accountant since he opened his third club”. She nodded her head ‘no’. She knew Henry would pay well, but she had a weakness for that man that she had to keep in check. Thinking about him still made her want to tighten up her walls and take slow, deep breaths. Plus she knew that he would never forgive her if he found out the truth behind the letter that lead to Rachel ’s suicide. It would be in her best interest to ignore Rome’s suggestion and not inquire. “Thanks for the heads up, but I just need to disconnect from you all and move forward with my life.” She tried to speak in a sincere tone as she walked away. He realized she had gained weight and her body was wider than he preferred, but her face was still beautiful and he missed her. He watched her until she was too far to see.

  She was glad that she was granted a transfer request to a sister location on the other side of town and this would be her last day in that building. She didn’t tell him about her transfer, so he didn’t know that this would be the last random run-in they would have in those hallways.

  As she sat in her car getting her things together, she paused and laughed out loud. “Ha, work for Henry. That must be the funniest thing I’ve heard in months.” She shook her head as she placed the key in the ignition. She sat and thought about how all of this began and how much of a nervous wreck she had been over the past months. Knowing that she would rarely- if ever see Rome again gave her a degree of peace. Really, she was drowning in debt from her self-prescribed shopping therapy and needed to do something before she was faced with garnishments.

  She scrolled through her phone. She saw a text message from a friend Tearny that she missed earlier. Tearny was younger than her, but they found that they were both from the same area when Tearny did an internship with the company while Sabrina was doing some audits in Atlanta. She was surprised that she would be in town and that she reached out to her. She heard through the gossip line at work that Tearny had shown up a couple times with bruises on her arms. Sabrina tried to reach out to her, but she always acted like everything was fine or didn’t have time to talk. Sabrina replied that she should call her when she got in town.

  Sabrina proceeded to her contact list. When she got to the eighth letter of the alphabet, she took a deep breath. She started the car and prayed that no one would answer as she pressed ‘call’.

  Part II: Tearny

  Tearny Blake’s story starts when she was fresh out of high school. She packed her bags and headed for college just outside of Atlanta. Her mother thought that she might have done better to just sit out a year or even take classes at the local community college. She was worried about her moving near a place as big as Atlanta. Tearny felt in her heart that if she was going to get away from her small town, she had to do it while she was still determined.

  Fall semester started and 18 year old Tearny soon realized that she was just one of many pretty girls on campus. It was a slight crush to her ego since she was accustomed to being the one of few who possessed very alluring features in her Midwest hometown. She was tall, thin with a flawless honey-kissed complexion. She had coiled hair that reached her mid back without being relaxed. She was given the nickname “Beauty” when she was a child and it stuck with her through high school.

  Her assigned roommate was Stephanie. She was another one of those pretty faces floating around. She was a second year freshmen. She did complete the previous year, but a few too many parties led to her falling six credits short of being a sophomore. “Hey girl. Now before you get too comfy and think college is all fun and games, I have to school you on a few things that nobody told me about my first year.” Stephanie sat on her own bed and continued talking.

  Tearny did not hear most of what she was saying and it seemed like a bunch of gibberish going in one ear and out the other. What did stick with her was Stephanie giving her party rules. “Child now look, I know you aren’t old enough to drink. But I know you will party, and that’s cool- we all party. But don’t leave your drink sitting. Don’t drink anything that you don’t see being poured. And most importantly- do not get drunk!” Although Stephanie sounded like an old woman with her words of wisdom, Tearny knew that what was being said was for her own good.

  She remembered when she was in grade school and her youngest aunt came home acting really crazy talking to herself. The whispering throughout town was that someone slipped some drugs in her drink and she had not been the same since. She spent eight years in and out of psychiatric hospitals before they found her in a hotel room with her wrists slit. Some blamed the drug. Others said that she was schizophrenic and wasn’t being properly treated because the family was in denial. Either way, Tearny did not want to be a victim, so she took heed in what was being said to her.

  The weeks went by with plenty of studying and a party here and there. Most consisted of a small group of friends hanging out and having a few drinks. The weekends were long and slow when there wasn’t a party to get ready for. Those were the times she found herself to be homesick.

  One Saturday, Stephanie decided that she couldn’t sit on campus. She looked at Tearny and all but yelled, “Girl, go to the city with me”. She was always a little hyper and bouncy, but she appeared as if the thought of going to the city was recharging her body.

  Tearny looked at her with a confused expression on her face. “And do what? Get mugged…or even worst…get lost?” She tried to laugh, but the fact was, coming from a small town, the thought of going into such a big downtown area intrigued and terrified her at the same time.

  Stephanie was a good talker and was able to convince her that it would be fun. “Girl, we can take the bus downtown and check out the stores. They even have these beauty supply stores that some Korean people own and the stuff is dirt cheap.” The thought of seeing some new stores set off a light bulb and Stephanie could tell that she was becoming interested.

  Tearny put her feet up on her bed. She looked around the little dorm room that the two of them shared. Her bed was against the wall near the door and Stephanie’s was positioned to where both beds formed and “L” with a desk separating them. This way they both had clear views of the window and the path to the closets and the bathroom was clear.

  Tearny began to focus on her closet. She thought about how she would love to put some new clothes in it. “Stephanie, I don’t have any money to go shopping and all that.” She leaned back on the pillows and looked at the ceiling. “Hell, I barely had enough financial aid to cover my meal card for the quarter”. She looked up at the ceiling which reminded her of the cheap texturing that was applied to the ceilings of her cousins’ home who lived in a public housing unit.

  As Stephanie went into the bathroom, Tearny realized she didn’t hear all the people in the courtyard that usually hung out there. She got up and went to the window. The sun was shining and it looked beautiful against the leaves that were changing into their fall colors.

  Stephanie came out of the bathroom and reached for her shoes that were on the floor at the foot of her bed. “How many 70 degree days are we going to have before the temperature starts falling?” Tearny looked at her and realized that she may very well be the only person left in the building once Stephanie left. Tearny put her shoes on, grabbed her purse and the two headed to the bus stop.

  The bus ride in itself was and adventure for Tearny. This was the first time she was able to see what existed outside of her campus world
. She spoke to Stephanie in a low, almost whispered tone, “Hey, how long will it take for us to get there?” She looked as if she were just seeing the world for the first time.

  “It will take about a half hour all together.” She crossed her legs and began looking through her purse for a piece of gum. Tearny looked out the window and thought about how she was glad that the bus was loud enough to cover the sound of Stephanie’s chewing and popping of gum. She liked her roommate a lot, but the gum popping was one thing that got on her nerves.

  When they finally got downtown, Tearny was in awe. “Girl this looks like the back drop to a movie.” She had never seen so many tall buildings and so many people in one area. The pair walked casually down the busy streets. Stephanie loved being among all the commotion and smiled as they push through the crowds. “It isn’t as bad as New York’s Canal Street.” She nudged Tearny with her elbow and smiled. Tearny’s eyes got big just long enough to let Stephanie know that she was not thrilled with such congested spaces.

  They stopped at one of the hair supply store that Stephanie spoke of and Tearny bought some hair products. As they walked out of the store she looked at Stephanie and shook her head. “I have never been in a hair store that sold shoes, underwear and DVD’s.” Tearny laughed as she placed her small bag of hair products into her oversized purse. Stephanie smiled at her and replied, “You know I will be going back to get that pack of thongs when I get some more money”. She knew that she was serious because Stephanie always looked for a deal, even if it meant buying panties from a store that advertises itself as a hair supply store.

  They continued down the street window shopping until they come upon a fast food restaurant that had a value menu. “A burger, fries and a drink for three bucks is right up my alley.” Tearny stated as they sat at an empty table with their orders. As they sat and ate, there was a period of silence between the two. They looked at the people walking by as if they were watching a play.