Mens (english version)
Page 33
32.
Patricia is sat close to the table on which I was leaned; Vladi had me favorite with a curtain and the woman you/he/she could not see me. But I could look at her: having a distributed sight I succeeded in peering at among the fibers of the fabric that it covered me here and there, and integrating all the single fragments I built me a complete image of what it was around me.
Patricia didn't have a good wax, but it was a strong woman. It had to damnedly have a good motive to be there. We had not spoken a lot never, us two, also when I was a complete man. I found the company of fatiguing Dan, even if I loved my brother, so also his/her family I had frequented her little. It was a sin: Patricia and my nephews were decidedly nice.
Patricia looked around him; it was alone in the room, for that that he/she knew. Berliz had given her a chair and a sold device for the interface that had to use for talking to me. In reality I carried away cable my voice over-the-counter acoustics that was her before, while to feel I didn't have her/it need of alcunché.
«Angel» he/she called Patricia with firm tone.
It had some occhiaies, but for the rest it seemed well star; at least, as far as possible seen the circumstances.
«I feel you, Patricia» I said, with the voice some cacophonous of the loudspeaker. «Excuse me, but I/you/they have never been good to do the condolences. I have always found him inadequate.»
Patricia weakly smiled.
«We do what to place are both, Angel. I know what you try. I don't want to speak neanch'io of it. It is too soon.»
«Thanks. His/her children?»
«Be'.»
«Already. A beautiful po will be grown'.»
«Lina arrives to me to the shoulder, and Centers it has the voice of his/her father.»
«Unbelievable.»
It was indeed it, I didn't remember at all them so great.
«I want to tell you that. The ams you thankful. If you/they have not lived too badly the agony of Dan it is because there was his/her uncle to make stunts on the ground Martian. They have been attached to the net the whole time.»
«You tell him/it as if I/you had had a good time.»
«Only sometimes» it said, smiling again. «I bet there.»
It was nice as always.
«You won't be only here for thanking me, I imagine.»
«No. I am busy a very serious proposal you. Rather, Dan has a proposal. They are here in his/her place.»
Patricia arranged more comfortably him on the chair. It was really nearby now me.
«You/he/she has never borne the simulacro of metal in which you had slipped. You know as it was Dan.»
«And you?»
«The same, with some reserve. But after what you have done to the Whip and on Mars. however we return to the proposal. Dan knew that you/he/she would not have overcome six months. You/they have tried to operate him/it, but not all the brain tumors are operable. The tumor was in the worse point, you/he/she has destroyed that that it was quickly able. But you/he/she has left the rest intact. On application of Dan, you/they have risked a last operation, but it was a desperate attempt: if he/she succeeded, Dan earned a living; if it failed, you earned there yours. At least, according to Dan.»
«What it means?»
«What you/he/she has decided to live to the best or to give you a healthy body, before the tumor expanded out him some brain. You/he/she has deliberately shortened his/her existence to give you a possibility of life from normal man.»
I remained without words: Patricia was stunned, but you/he/she could not be him/it so much to invent him a lie of the kind.
You/he/she had spoken clear, so much to make me difficult to understand her/it: from years I was forced me to accept that that I had become. It now dealt with undoing all and to start again.
«But. Pat, of what devil macaws you speaking?» I asked.
«You have available a healthy body. It is compatible according to your physicians. And you have a healthy mind without body. Even if on the healthy mind I would not swear, later what has seen.»
«Berliz, Of the.»
«We have come here for the necessary analyses, Angel.»
«. nobody has told me nothing» The protesteds.
«It is obvious. Before the reports you/he/she would have been foolish, and after you were already in the space. You/they would have given only you a thought in more.»
I sustained me calm. Who knows how many times I had desired to be able to return back in the time before the espianto. Also to when I was badly, also to still get back those feelings that is so easily given for you discount. I had an occasion, you/he/she had given him for me Dan to dear price.
«You that I/you/he/she think of it?» I asked.
The face of Patricia was filled with conflicting feelings; I tried not to look with too much appointment but by now I had learned well: I saw the joy to give a deep sense to the death of his/her/their husband and the horror to know that I would have been the new master of that body that companion of life had been her. Because we are also meat and blood in the love, beyond the sex. I saw the horror in to think what you/they would have tried his/her children meeting me for road, debated among the desire to embrace me and the fury for a granted but unforgivable theft. I also saw what its answer would have been before he/she spoke: Patricia wanted to carry out the wishes of Dan with unshakable steadiness, the other things they were secondary; he/she wanted that they were him/it.
«It doesn't matter» it murmured.
It bent the head and attended, looking himself/herself/itself at the hands that were crossed above the knees. A small gesture of surrender, the only moment of weakness that was allowed until then.
I instinctively stuck out a hand toward of her with the impulse to put her/it on his. I immediately stayed me: I would have frightened her, you/he/she would have been a ridiculous scene and inappropriata.
«I thank you, Patricia, and I thank Dan» I said with heat.
«You will do him/it? Will you return human?» churches her lifting the head.
I didn't want immediately to decide; it was that that I had wanted in the last times, but the death of Dan had subsequently put in crisis my identity.
«Human. I am already it, Patricia, even if in different way» I said. «But I will think it, I will very seriously think it.»
Patricia got up from the chair.
«We see us, Angel» it said, going toward the door.
«Yes, in a way or in the other.» The answereds.
But Patricia was already distant.