Getting a Life

by Chrissie Loveday

  'What a delightful way to be woken,' he murmured somewhat sleepily. 'Come here.' She rolled over to him and kissed him again.

  'I'm glad you liked being awoken by me. I'm sorry but I have to get up now. I have an early lecture today.'

  'Blow lecturing. Come here and ...'

  'Sorry,' she laughed as she got up quickly. 'You'll have to wait. Come on. You don't want to be late yourself , now do you?'

  'You know something? I really don't give a damn. My father can stew in his own juices.'

  'You really don't mean that, you know.'

  'You may be right. Of course you're right.'

  They both prepared for their days, stopping only to drink coffee and eat toast before setting off for college and the factory.

  'Will I see you this evening?' she asked.

  'Sorry but I'm busy. I'll call you later. Bye now.' He kissed her and made everything swim around her brain once more.

  She watched as Mike roared off down the road. She wondered what she was going to say to Trisha when she saw her. Perhaps it would be best to pretend she didn't know about her date. She decided that would be the best way to handle it. She set out for her days work. It seemed strange to be working when something so momentous was happening in her life.

  'Joanne. I'd like a word with you,' her boss told her when she arrived at college.

  'Fine. When do you want to see me?'

  'I'd like you to have lunch with me. I've booked a table in the catering restaurant. One o'clock.'

  'Oh. All right. Is it something special?'

  'Wait and see,' he said, suggestion implicit in his gaze.

  Joanne worked through her mornings lectures, her mind somewhat distracted by her boss's invitation. What on earth did he want? She could hardly wait for one o'clock and arrived at his office slightly early. She knocked at his door.

  'Ah Joanne. Good. Shall we go?'

  'What's this all about?' she asked.

  'I'm reviewing the staff in the department. I wanted the chance to get to know you a bit better. That's all.'

  'I see.' She felt very relieved. If all he wanted was to get to know her a bit better, that was fine by her. 'That's nice of you to take the trouble.' As they walked, she looked at him surreptitiously. He was somewhat overweight and considerably older than she was. He wore a rather strong aftershave that almost sent her reeling the first time she'd been aware of it.

  The catering restaurant was a rather formal place, designed to give students their first experience of serving meals. It was all silver service and somewhat restrained. Her boss had booked a table for two, one which was tucked away in a corner. She felt less happy about this as most of the tables were for four and much less intimate.

  'Now then, we have several choices. What do you fancy?' he asked once they were seated.

  'I'm not really sure. Don't we have to decide between us which of the dishes we want?' She had only eaten there once before and had memories of having to choose between what was on offer.

  'You choose and I'll take what's left.'

  'Thank you, Mr Taverner. That's nice of you.'

  'Oh but I am nice. And it's Richard. Please call me Richard.' She found it difficult to call him Richard but she tried her best. He talked incessantly and she felt she was getting to know him rather than the other way round. 'I was wondering whether you'd like to go out for a drink with me one evening?' he asked her towards the end of the meal.

  'I'm not really very free in the evenings. My boyfriend wouldn't be too pleased if I wasn't there for him.'

  'Is this the one you brought to the college dinner?'

  'Well, yes.'

  'But you paid for him to accompany you didn't you?' She blanched. How did he know that? She had only ever mentioned it to Trisha. She would never had told anyone. Surely not?

  'I ... well, I've moved on from those days.'

  'But you did pay for him, didn't you?'

  'Well yes. I suppose I did.'

  'So why be so high and mighty about coming out with me?'

  'Because, well because you have a wife and family. And in any case, Mike is ... How did you know, anyway?'

  'We recognised him. He goes under the name of Rudy when he's out working. He was at a party with one of our friends. I knew him immediately when I saw you with him. I thought you might enjoy a drink one evening. So, how about coming out with me?'

  'I'm sorry Mr Taverner. The answer is no. I'm sorry but I couldn't possibly.'

  'That is such a pity. Think about it. I'm reviewing the departmental staffing and I have a senior lectureship to offer to the right person.'

  'So if I agree to come out for a drink with you, you're saying I might be in line for a promotion?'

  'It could most certainly happen.'

  'I'd expect to get a promotion on merit, not on socialising with the head of department.'

  'Anyone who pays for sex is fair game. Why so prissy now?'

  'I never paid for sex,' she protested, almost spluttering with her answer to this detestable man.

  'Your loss, my dear.'

  'Thanks very much for lunch.' She tried her best to remain on civil terms with this man but it was becoming more and more difficult. She had scuppered her chances of getting a senior lectureship in the college but so what? Would she ever get over having booked Mike to accompany her? 'I'd better go or I'll be late for my lecture.'

  'Of yes, you mustn't be late or the boss will have to scold you.' He licked his lips suggestively. She gave a shiver. Hideous man she thought. She nodded to him as she left.

  It had completely unsettled her and she felt slightly sick. She longed to be cuddled by Mike but it was going to be a while before that could happen again. She picked up her mobile and texted him.

  How are you doing? Hope all is well with you. Love Jo xx

  She kept on looking through the afternoon but heard nothing back from him. She gave a sigh. It was tough when you fell in love, she decided. She gave a shudder at the very thought of Richard's suggestion. Now all she had to face was Mike taking Trisha out for an evening. No problems there she thought sarcastically. Why on earth was she doing it? Was it to spite her Dave? Or was there some other purpose? At last she decided to call him.

  ' Will you be coming round tonight?'

  'I'm sorry but I have an engagement. I did say so this morning.'

  'Oh.'

  'Sorry. I can't avoid it I'm afraid.'

  'I wish you didn't have to do it.'

  'For heavens sake Joanne. I've told you it doesn't mean anything. I get paid well. I need to have money.'

  'Okay, okay. I know all of that.'

  'Good. Maybe we should have a bit of a break for a while. It's all getting too intense. Too intense for me at least.'

  'But ... I see. Let me know when you want to see me then.' She hung up. She wished she had never called him. Her world was rocking around her. She had thought everything was so safe with Mike but now here he was telling her he needed a break for a while. How long was a while? Everything had seemed so good last night. Even this morning, he'd been lovely. Maybe it was just a blip. Something that had happened during the day. She swallowed her tears and tried to work.

  Trisha came into her office. She felt tempted to pour out her heartbreak.

  'So how are things with you and your man?' she asked instead.

  'I think we're going to work through it. It isn't easy when you've know each other for so long.'

  'Good. That's very good news. So why on earth are you ...' She stopped herself. Then she subsided into another mood of silence and wouldn't be drawn on what was wrong. Whatever she felt about it, now she had to live with it. But, as she believed she was in love with this man, it was very difficult.

  'What's up?' asked Tricia. 'You don't seem your usual self at all.'

  Joanne stared at her. Should she say anything or not? She decided against it.

  'Just work problems.'

  'Oh? In what way?'

  'Oh Mr Taverner. It's nothing reall
y. Only I've scuppered my chances of getting a senior lectureship.'

  'Oh no. How did you manage that?'

  'I don't want to talk about it.'

  'I was going to tell you something. Oh never mind. I'd better go. I'm out this evening.'

  Joanne was about to ask if it was with Mike but she decided against it. She'd really prefer not to know. She was somewhat curious about why she wanted to go out with Mike however, especially if she and Dave were back together. But, overwhelmingly, he wanted to take a break. Misery crept back into her heart.

  'Must get on now. Was there something else?' she said, as brightly as she could.

  'No. There's nothing else. See you.'

  'Yes. See you.' Trisha left and she turned back to her own woes. What was she going to do? Somehow, life without Mike was hardly appealing. She really must pull herself together and go out there. Someone would want to go out with her but who? Mr Taverner, undoubtedly. Perhaps she should call him and suggest a date!

  Chapter Ten

  For almost a couple of weeks, Joanne sat at home in the evenings, quite alone. Mike had gone from her life, seemingly for good. He hadn't been to her lectures and she had seen nothing of him at all. She knew it was wrong to sit festering at home and was determined she would go out with the college crowd, if anyone asked her. The trouble was, nobody did. One Friday evening, she took the initiative.

  'Anyone fancy the pub?' she asked in the staffroom.

  'Wow, you're actually asking us to go out?' one of the blokes said.

  'Why so surprised?'

  'Usually we have to cajole you into coming. Okay, I'm up for it. Anyone else?' One or two of the others agreed and so a small group left the college and went across to the pub. Trisha was amongst them and walked with her friend.

  'How's Mike' she asked.

  'No idea. I haven't seen him for a while.'

  'Really? I thought you were a firm thing. You know, going strong.'

  'Obviously not. Right you lot, I'm buying. What do you want?' She was determined not to waste her time talking to Trisha about Mike. Thinking about him was painful enough and she didn't even want to go there.

  She bought a couple of bottle of wine and several glasses across to their table.

  'I decided we're all drinking the same.' She poured it out and drank hers quickly. 'Someone else can get the next lot,' she told them.

  'I say, steady on Joanne. You're drinking much too fast for safety.'

  'Rubbish,' she remarked as she poured a second glass for herself. 'I'm not a virgin bride any more.' She gave a loud hiccup and sat back in her seat. The others smiled but said nothing.

  The evening went on, ending up at their favourite curry place. Joanne was fairly drunk but quickly sobered after eating a plate of hot curry. She was funny, flirty and they all seemed to enjoy her company.

  'Where have you really been, up till now?' one of the men asked her.

  'I've just been too shy. Now it's time I escaped from shyness and came out.'

  'Well good on ya. Maybe you might fancy a night out with me? Just the two of us?'

  'I might just do that,' she told him, pouring herself another glass from the bottle on the table.

  'When?' he asked.

  'I'm not exactly sure.' She suddenly felt terribly drunk and was happily leading him on.

  'How about tomorrow? We could go out on the town. Enjoy ourselves.'

  She hiccuped again. 'I don't think I feel too well. I'm sorry.'

  Trisha came over and told the others she would look after her. The man who had been chatting her looked a little crestfallen.

  'I'll drive her home and see she's okay. No worries.'

  'Okay. If you're sure. See you on Monday.'

  They all left and Trisha took Joanne's arm and led her back to college, where their cars were parked.

  'Come on love. You sit in the passenger seat and I'll drive you home.'

  'It's all right. I'll manage just fine.'

  'No way. You're not driving anywhere after drinking.'

  'You're very kind. Thank you Trisha.'

  'So, no Mike around to take care of you?'

  'Not at all. He wanted to take a break and after he went out with you, I s'pose he just isn't interested in little ole me any more.'

  'Is that what you really think?' her friend asked. 'You're wrong. Quite wrong. I did go out with him once. He was very cool with me, though.'

  'Really?'

  'Yes, really.'

  'So what did you do?'

  'Went for very nice meal. He was hesitant about coming back for coffee but I persuaded him to. Then he went home again. That was it.'

  'You didn't snog him?' she asked, still feeling rather drunk.

  'No. I asked him to but he turned me down. Flat.'

  'I'm going to be sick. Can you stop the car please?' Trisha screeched to a halt and leaned over to open the passenger door.

  'You okay, love?' she asked.

  'Remind me never to drink like that again. In fact I'm going to give up drinking altogether.'

  'Don't worry about it. We all say that. Not a good first time out on your own, was it?'

  'I miss him. He told me not to be so serious but I miss him.' She began to cry. 'I know I'm stupid but I really miss him.'

  'Nearly home. I'll make some strong coffee and then you should go to bed. I'll come round tomorrow and drive you to college to collect your car.'

  'You're a very, very good friend. Thanks Trisha. But I'm so glad you didn't snog him. So very glad.'

  Trisha smiled. If Joanne knew half the story ... She had invited him into her flat and tried very hard to entice him into her bed. She'd even tried getting him drunk and had done a sort of striptease in front of him. But nothing would move him. She had really wanted him on that occasion, wanted to prove that Dave wasn't the only man in her life. He'd turned her down and had finally left. She had thought of complaining to the agency but had decided it would be mean and spiteful. It had taught her a lesson though. She and Dave had finally made up their own row and were well and truly back together again. As for Mike, he was best forgotten. For both of them.

  'Now, drink this. Plus a glass of water.' She handed a strong black coffee to her friend.

  'Thanks. I feel better now. I really made a fool of myself, didn't I?'

  'You did rather. But I think it may have done you some good with the others.'

  'But I hate drunken women. I bet everyone does.'

  'I don't think they realised you were quite as drunk as you were. Don't worry about it. As for Mike, maybe you should give him a call? You've proved something by not seeing him. Why not ask if he's given up on his course? Makes it a good reason to call him.'

  'I'll think about it. Maybe if he doesn't come on Tuesday?'

  'Sounds like a plan. Now, would you like me to put you to bed?'

  'I'll be fine now, thanks. I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks again.'

  'No worries.' On that note, she left her friend, hoping she never had to find out about her own evening with Mike.

  Joanne felt nervous about meeting up with her colleagues again but they were all friendly and one of them asked her if she'd go for a drink with him. She was about to say no but something stopped her and she agreed to go out with him. She didn't even fancy him one little bit but she felt it would be foolish to turn him down. The date was set for the next day. She was very nervous about the whole thing but was determined to make herself go.

  When Mike failed to show again at her lecture, Trisha came to ask if she was going to phone him.

  'Maybe tomorrow,' she said. 'I'm going out this evening.'

  'Good for you. Show the world you're in the market again.'

  'We'll have to see about that.'

  They went to a pub outside the town. It was a quiet place, mostly for eating rather than drinking.

  'I thought you might like to have a meal?' Roy offered.

  'Thanks. That would be lovely.'

  'I took the liberty of booking a table act
ually. Hoping you'd agree to eat.'

  It was a slightly difficult evening. They had little in common, except they both worked at the college. Conversation was slow and somewhat stilted. A group of people came into the dining room and sat across the other side from them. She glanced across and almost fell apart. Mike was there, accompanying a slightly dull looking lady. He was being his usual self, charming and chatty. He looked up and saw her. He hesitated for a moment and smiled and then continued to talk to his companion. Joanne was totally shattered. She asked to be excused for a moment and went to the loo. As she was coming out, Mike was there, waiting for her.

  'Hallo Jo. I'm glad to see you took my advice. Came out for an evening with someone else.'

  'Yes, of course. Nice to see you,' she mumbled. 'And you? Working as always?'

  'Yes. Incredibly boring. So who's the chap you're with?'

  'Colleague. From college.'

  'Enjoy your evening. I'd better get back.' He turned to leave but stopped and came back to her. 'I'm so sorry, Jo. I never meant to hurt you.'

  'Really? Well you did. Very deeply.'

  'What can I do to make things right?'

  'Nothing at all. I'd better get back to Roy.'

  'I'm sorry. I'll call you soon.'

  She listened to his words and her heart leapt again. She knew she would give in right away to him if he did call her. She needed him to explain to her why he'd said he could never have anyone in his life permanently ... or words to that effect. Thinking about it, he must have something that had upset him in the past. Whatever it was, it had nothing to do with her. She went back to her companion for the evening. She could hardly wait for it to be over. She wanted to think of Mike again ... to wallow in remembering him. But she knew that could be fatal and tried to concentrate on Roy and whatever nonsense he was talking about.

  He took her home when they had finished their meal and came in for coffee. She didn't know how to refuse him when he asked if he could. She then had the problem of getting him to leave. He seemed to sit there for ages until she finally said,

  'You'll have to excuse me now. I have an early start tomorrow.'