For the Sake of Love

by Chrissie Loveday

  ‘Oh it’s just wonderful. I’m happy for you. I really hope it works out. And I can’t wait to find out who he is. You sure you can’t even hint a bit?’

  ‘No. We’d better get back or Penelope will be after our blood. We haven’t got any excuse to stay out. Unless you’ve spotted some person who’s famous for being famous?’

  * * *

  For the next two weeks, Amanda had to rely on calls and texts to keep in touch with her beloved Sacha. She’d given up thinking of him as her real husband as it made everything just too difficult with everyone around her. When they did speak, he was completely wound up in his preparations for the next tournament and had made no more suggestions for secret trips to Paris. She tried not to mind too much as she had always known this was how it would be for a while. Two more weeks and he would be back before the major tournaments in England. He needed two more significant wins in minor tournaments to make it through the qualifying rounds for the majors.

  ‘Wish they made patience pills,’ she told him one evening. ‘I’d swallow a bucket load of them.’

  ‘Not much longer my darling. I promise.’

  * * *

  Out of the blue, her world began to fall apart the next week. When she arrived at work, there was a sudden silence. She looked around for Jenny, to see what was going on but she was missing from her desk.

  ‘Something happening?’ she asked no one in particular.

  ‘No, nothing.’ The buzz began again and Amanda settled down at her computer. Unusually, there was an email from Sacha. He normally hated them but for once he had written very early that morning to her home email address. She usually waited to check her own email account from the office computer and was amazed to find it there.

  Darling . . . I’m afraid I have some bad news. Remember the photograph at the top of the Eiffel Tower? They were picturing us. It’s appeared in one of the newspapers here. Headline reads ‘Who is the mystery woman with our own Sacha Manon?’ They claim I am having an affair with some young woman and ask how this will affect my concentration for the coming tournaments. I don’t think you could have been recognised but be prepared for some unwelcome attention. I have Fredo on the case already and he is denying everything.

  Her face white, Amanda felt sick. Knowing how her colleagues managed to ferret out information, it wouldn’t be long before the news broke here. The truth about her own job would be known and Sacha would hate her.

  ‘What’s up?’ Jenny asked, seeing her friend looking quite ill.

  ‘Bit of a problem. It’ll get sorted but it’s come as a shock.’

  ‘If you’re sure. Can I get you a coffee?’

  ‘Thanks. That would be good.’

  Amanda decided to trawl through the morning papers, as they usually did, on the scout for any stories they could follow up. With the tennis stars beginning to come into town, there might be something about Sacha and his new lady. She could find nothing but she was aware that she still being stared at by some of the other girls.

  ‘Jen, do you know why I’m suddenly the object of so many people’s interest today?’

  ‘I’ll find out. Here, enjoy.’ She dumped a cup of coffee beside her friend and went to chat to the other journalists. If anyone could ferret out the truth, Jenny could. Sometime later, she came back and sat on the desk. ‘Prepare yourself for a shock. Your secret’s out. Someone emailed May with the gossip from Paris. There’s a picture in one of the papers showing Sacha Manon and yes, you. Deep in a clinch but obviously both of you are recognisable. I confirmed that you had been in Paris but I promise, I said nothing else.’

  ‘Oh no. I’m shot. How on earth can I keep it from the magazine?’

  ‘You can’t, Hon. May is already working on the story. Penelope is going to be furious that you kept something this important to yourself. Especially when she knows you met him when you were actually supposed to be on an assignment. She will not be at all sympathetic to any soppy love story. Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude. I know you’re not soppy really. But you’re supposed to be totally immune yourself.’

  ‘Oh what a mess. How on earth do I get out of this one?’

  ‘Maybe you need to get to Paris as soon as you can and try to explain it to him. Otherwise, any thoughts of wedding bells have gone.’

  ‘Actually, it’s worse than that. We got married when I was off work.’

  ‘Married?’ Jenny almost yelled. ‘And you never told me?’

  ‘Quiet, you idiot.’ May rushed over with her notebook.

  ‘So it’s true? Wow, that’s hot. Lucky you. He’s just gorgeous. Come on, dish the dirt. What’s he like? Does he do any chores or is he the typical macho male? We need pictures. Together if possible. If he’s still away, you’ll have to have some taken on your own. Wow, this is the best. He’s considered to be one of the up and coming stars.’

  ‘I’m begging you, please don’t do this. You’ll ruin everything for me. For us. Find some other poor soul who’s better equipped to deal with this nonsense. I never wanted to be a celebrity or famous in any way. I even turned down a by-line in the magazine so my real name wasn’t known.’

  ‘Sorry Amanda. Penelope would never forgive me if I let this one slip by. Especially with Queens and Wimbledon coming up so soon. Tennis is going to be the big news for the next issue and this is the biggest. Right on our own doorstep.’

  Amanda closed her eyes, wishing herself anywhere but here. The room was swirling round her and she thought she might faint at any moment. How could she have been so stupid as to think she could keep it secret, when she worked in such an environment? It was a total gossip factory. She vowed never to write another story about any celebs who didn’t want their lives set out on a plate for the world to see. Why should anyone be interested in her? Only it wasn’t her, it was Sacha they wanted.

  ‘I’m going home,’ she whispered to Jenny. ‘I have to warn Sacha and somehow, extricate myself from the headlines.’

  But her plans were thwarted. As May came out of Penelope’s office with a smug look on her face, the Editor saw her moving towards the door. She beckoned Amanda into her office and there began one of the most difficult interviews of her life.

  Details of how they had met were demanded and she was well and truly scolded for being unprofessional. ‘Think it through Amanda. Do you want some affair with a man or do you want to continue a very promising career?’

  ‘It’s more than some affair. We love each other.’

  Penelope sniggered. ‘Oh yes, and for how long do you think you keep him happy? Love? Nonsense. No such thing. You may think he’s in love with you but it will never last. Don’t you know how many of these well known people have a string of girls chasing them? One each night. Course you know. We make it our business to know. Don’t put yourself in that position.’

  Amanda wanted to slap her face. What did this cold fish know about love? She was dedicated to her own career and probably had never shown interest in anyone on a personal level. She nearly blurted out the truth about their marriage but she knew it would be even more damaging to them both.

  ‘I’m going to take some time out of the office today. I can’t bear everyone staring at me. I’ll work from home. If you’ll excuse me.’

  Penelope waved an impatient hand at her, dismissing her from the office.

  * * *

  Sitting in front of her laptop at home, she pondered over the words she could find to explain things to Sacha. She was tempted to rush off to Paris to explain in person but she knew that was not the right way.

  My darling, she wrote. You were right. One of the magazines has got the story and they plan to publish it in the next edition. I haven’t said anything at all to anyone but it seems they know enough to publish an article. Speak later. I’m working at home today so call me when you can.

  It seemed little enough to write but she would explain things properly on the phone when he called. It was just before lunch time when he called.

  ‘How are you?’ he ask
ed.

  ‘Angry. Upset. I don’t like this publicity. I promise, I haven’t told anyone about us being married.’

  ‘I’m coming over tonight, after I finish training. I shall come to your apartment, if that’s okay. No reason not to as we are married and it’s all above board. I expect the world will talk whatever we do or don’t do.’

  ‘It will be wonderful to see you. I shall look forward to it.’

  ‘I’m not at all happy about it. I hope we can sort out something.’

  He put the phone down without a single word of love. He was clearly angry and she dreaded seeing him instead of longing to see him. Listlessly, she dragged herself to the shops to buy ingredients to make supper. She wasn’t much of a cook so it had to be something simple. She bought fresh fish, salad, some crusty bread and a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc. She knew it would be something he would like, though in reality, she felt neither of them would be eating much. She still felt sick to the stomach.

  It was almost nine o’clock when he called from a taxi to say he would be arriving in a few minutes. She turned on the grill and put the salad into a bowl. She lit candles and hoped the soft lighting would provide a gentler atmosphere than she was anticipating.

  Looking weary and slightly more ruffled than usual, he came into her flat. He held out his arms to her and pulled her close. Almost disbelieving, she allowed herself to kiss him with the usual passion.

  ‘I am so sorry, cherie. We should have been more careful. That person taking a photograph was no innocent. They recognised me and sold the picture to one of the cheap tabloid papers. And now, you say the news has reached England too. I fear there is nothing we can do. I threatened to sue the newspaper but they say we have no grounds for success. We were together. We did kiss in public for anyone to see.’

  ‘I’m sorry too. It may be worse than you think. But, you must be hungry. I have prepared a simple supper. Nothing much.’

  ‘Thank you. I think we both may need one of your double chocolate muffins to follow. This is the first time I have seen where you live. It’s not very big, is it?’

  ‘London is very expensive, as you must know. This is the best I can afford. Here, sit on this chair. I’ll pour some wine.’ She felt suddenly shy. His large frame seemed to fill the room and she was slightly embarrassed by the modest place she called home. As she grilled the fish, she told herself, one more night. I must have one more night before I tell him the truth. His anger was not yet directed at her but it soon would be. Once he knew the truth, everything would end.

  ‘Perhaps, after all we shall have to confess the truth to the world. If the press are spending their time guessing, giving them the truth may be better. Perhaps if we give one interview they will leave us alone.’ She was clutching at straws.

  ‘I can’t tell you how much I hate all this intrusion. I have never looked for publicity. I just want to play excellent tennis and be famous only for being a good player. What I do in private is my own business. Oh, let’s try to forget it for one more night. I have missed you so much.’ He held out his arms to welcome her and she cherished the moment. It could be her last moment of happiness with this wonderful man, once he knew the whole truth.

  * * *

  Sacha slept surprisingly well, having been totally exhausted when he arrived. Amanda slept fitfully, feeling uncomfortable, as well as extremely worried about facing the coming day. She wasn’t going to work at the office as she needed to spend the day on this most difficult confession. Leaving him sleeping, she went to make coffee and switched on her laptop. In deference to her position on the magazine, she had been sent a proof copy of the article. With growing horror, she read the text. One sentence hit her.

  Our own column writer, Amanda Derry (known to you all as A-Jay) has herself hit the celebrity jackpot. She’s been having a secret romance with the gorgeous Sacha Manon, rising tennis star. He was voted as the ‘hunk we’d all most like to be seen with’ by all our female office staff. Lucky Amanda. Will there be wedding bells soon?

  The article went on with tenuous claims, most of which had been found in numerous, unlikely places. Once he saw this, Sacha would have the whole truth hitting him in the face. She read on, torturing herself with thoughts of the coming revelation. She didn’t hear him coming to stand behind her and too late, she realised that he was also reading the text. As he drew breath, she jumped and closed the file.

  ‘No point hiding it. I already saw the piece you were working on. How could you? Amanda, how could you? One of the reasons I fell in love with you was for your honesty, for being open and straight forward. You must have lied to me so many times. Selling magazines? A blatant lie. You work for the very sort of magazine I hate most. I am sure you only became close to me because of your filthy magazine.’ He muttered at length in French, none of which Amanda could understand but yet she knew exactly what he was saying.

  ‘Sacha, it isn’t true. I didn’t cultivate you for a story. I do truly love you and when you asked me to marry you, I said yes because it was everything I could have ever have dreamed about.’

  ‘So why were you waiting outside the tennis courts that day? An accident?’ She looked down at her fingers, blushing and trying to think of something she could say to make things better. ‘Say nothing. I want no more lies. It is perfectly clear that you were there to create some sort of story. Come for a drink you said. So sweet and innocent. But you wanted a story. Pure and simple. Do you even know the meaning of the word love?’

  ‘Once we had spoken, I knew I could never write a story about you. I fell in love with you instantly. Everything about you was a dream. I promise, I told nobody. I kept our secret. Surely you must believe me? I didn’t even ask my very best friend to our wedding for goodness sake. I haven’t even told my parents. Sacha, I love you so much.’ She tried to put her arms round him but he pushed her away.

  ‘I don’t want to even look at you again. I’ll pack my things and go right now. I’ll speak to my lawyers and have this mockery of a marriage annulled immediately. I can see that you wrote this piece yourself. It’s on your laptop and you were working on it this morning. Clearly, that’s why you were up before me. I see you wanted to get it in first before the news broke in the bigger papers.’

  ‘I didn’t Sacha. I would never do that.’

  ‘But you are a professional journalist. We met because you came to me looking for a story. You are very professional. I never even suspected you then. How far would you really have gone to make some story out of this, had I not been so foolish as to trust you?’

  ‘How can I prove to you that I do truly love you? I would never have married you if I didn’t love you.’ Tears were coursing down her cheeks. She was almost begging him to believe her words but he wasn’t listening.

  ‘I cannot believe anything you say now. This is all happening at the worst possible time for me. I am playing at Queens in a week or so. My first match is on the Monday. Opening day. I have to concentrate as best I can. Please make sure I don’t have to see you again.’

  As the room began to spin around her, Amanda lay back on her sofa. She discovered that she couldn’t stand up. She couldn’t speak, as the love of her life tossed his belongings into his bag. Without a backward glance, he stormed out of her flat and out of her life. She lay still for a long time, knowing that she would collapse if she tried to stand. Her mind whirled round the events of the past weeks. She should never have allowed herself to become so involved with him. Never should she have agreed to marry him without confessing the truth. But if she had, she would have missed so many wonderful moments. He was hers and everyone else’s dream. She had never fully believed that someone so gorgeous could actually be in love with her. The phone rang and she got up slowly, praying that it was Sacha.

  ‘Amanda, are you all right? Only I was worried when you didn’t appear at work again.’ It was Jenny.

  ‘No. I’m not all right. I never will be again. Sacha has left me. Thanks so much to all of you. My life is over. Grateful
thanks to May for sending me her article. Sacha believed I’d written it and he never wants to see me again.’

  ‘I’m coming over. Stay where you are.’

  ‘No, I don’t want to see anyone. Especially anyone from that blasted magazine. Personal? It’s a word I don’t want to hear again.’ She put the phone down and lay back again. She felt sick and got up to fetch some water. The sink was still full of last night’s washing up. She’d imagined they might be finishing it off together after a cozy breakfast, not that it was very likely. She’d always known confession time was waiting round the corner. At last, the tears came. She wept as never before, totally wrapped in her own misery. The ring of the doorbell finally roused her. She asked who it was before opening the door.

  ‘It’s me. I was worried.’ She opened it to see her friend standing with a paper mug of coffee.

  ‘I was hardly going to leave you here alone. Here, coffee. Your favourite, with extra chocolate sprinkles. I got it from the little place along the street. Gosh you look terrible.’

  ‘Thanks Jen. You know, this time, everything’s way beyond chocolate.’

  CHAPTER SIX

  Jenny stayed with her friend for the rest of the day. Together, they washed up the supper things with Amanda weeping as she did so.

  ‘I don’t care what Penelope says. For once, I’m ignoring the demands of the office and the magazine. You’re right. We do peddle people’s privacy and nobody really cares what it does to their lives.’

  ‘But as you say, it does pay the bills. Somehow, I have to get myself back onto the market. I’m on my own again and I have to earn a living. I suppose there’s no way we can stop the article?’

  ‘I don’t think so. Besides, there will only be a queue of people outside trying to write another version. I think you need to dress up in your best. Put your make up on and let’s go back to the office tomorrow, head held high.’

  ‘I can’t possibly. Thanks for the suggestion but I can’t.’

  It took two days before Amanda felt able to return to work. She took her friend’s advice. Put on her make up, a smart suit and went into the office, head held high. There were one or two sympathetic glances but everyone was working as normal and nobody mentioned her story. Penelope called her into the office.