Breath We Take (Cuffed By Love Duet Book 1)

by Amanda Kaitlyn

  “Hud,” She breathed, all sweet and airy in the way I knew meant she was needy for me. If I had it my way, she’d always sound like that. I would keep her tied to my bed, naked except for a pair of her high heels and those frilly ass panties she liked to tease me with. She’d stay there all day, just waiting for me to ravish her. She was a real life fantasy and even the eight and a half hours I’d been away from her since this morning was too long.

  Her whimper leaked from those pouty lips of hers and I withdrew, slipping my hands around her upturned face and dropping my mouth to ghost over hers. When her hot tongue came out to touch mine, I couldn’t resist. Reaching for the bottom of her scrubs, I pushed it up her stomach until the fabric reached her chin. Reaching down, I tweaked one of her rosy nipples diving in for a taste of her; groaning when she whined against me like a cat in heat.

  God, she made me crazy.

  “I missed you so damn much.”

  Her small hands grabbed at my shoulders as she looked up at me with bright, warm eyes and I felt that warmth all the way to my bones.

  After a day filled with darkness and uncertainty, criminals and danger; she was my peace.

  “Take me to bed, Hud.”

  “Off, Darlin’.” Emberly’s eyes blazed with heated lust at my roughly spoken words and nodding eagerly, she slipped her shirt over her head and let it drop to the floor. Her hands went to the sides of my jacket, easily pushing it off my shoulders to join the quickly growing pile of clothes behind us.

  My hands scooped under her lush, perfect ass and I’m lifting her up my body, heading toward the nearest flat surface in order to love her right.

  “Wrap those legs around me.” She does, her face rooted in my neck, planting hot, needful kisses over my buzzing skin.

  How was it possible to need her this much?

  I didn’t have the answer to the question that whispered in my head.

  All I knew was that I was lost to this woman, this beautiful, sassy girl.

  Mine.

  She’s all mine.

  “I love you. I love you so much.”

  Hearing her feelings for me would never get old, I realized. As I pulled her pants down to her ankles and took her flats and socks off her small feet, the words she said weren’t what had me moving back and looking up at her; an ache in my chest forming in the deepest parts of my being.

  It was the little cracks in her normally velvety smooth voice.

  “Baby. I know you do.”

  Her eyes opened, glistening with such love it’s like a noose wrapped around my neck. I forced a breath from my lungs, finding it hard to breathe at the sight of such consuming emotion.

  The knowledge that it was aimed at me and only me?

  It made me deliriously happy.

  I curled a firm hand around her waist, lowered my head to press against hers. Letting my words whisper into her ear, I wanted her to hear them and believe they were the truth.

  “I love you doesn’t seem fitting for these feelings, Darlin’. I’m fucking crazy without you and sane when I’m with you. I missed you from the second I left this morning and didn’t calm down until now.”

  Her hands wrapped around my neck, holding steadily and when her bright eyes found mine, I saw the reflection of my desperation for her gazing back to me.There was something else there, too. It made me pull back, concern filling me up. It looked as if she had something to tell me; but stopped herself.

  Before I could ask, she was arching up against me, her bare body pressing against me and tempting me to take her like I so craved.

  “Then make love to me, Hudson.”

  She didn’t have to tell me twice.

  Chapter Thirty Eight

  Emberly

  About 6 Months Later

  I’m getting married today.

  The promise of that one, simple truth had my eyes opening to the day that awaited me and I stretched, excitement spreading through my well-slept body. Even the bright, morning sunlight streaming in through the blinds I’d left open the night before didn’t sour my mood. Reaching over Hudson’s side of the bed, I wrapped my fingers around his pillow and breathed in his lingering scent, my eyes closing at the bliss it gave me.

  “God you’re weird. Are you sniffing my pillow, baby?”

  “No, of course I’m not.” Blushing from head to toe, I dove under the plush, warm covers of our bed, hearing his teasing chuckle fill the room. His footsteps approached the bed, followed by his body as he knelt beside me and spread his limbs until they wrapped, snugly around my waist. His large, rough, always greedy hands squeezed my ass under the thin sheet; earning a hearty moan from me. He’d always loved my ass.

  “Don’t be ashamed, Darlin’. I know I smell good.” He mused, cocking one of those heart stopping grins I loved so much and burying my head in his chest, I breathed him in. Oh God, bad idea!

  “No, oh my god, no, you don’t, Hud! Go shower.” Pushing both my hands against the mass of his rock hard chest, I made a feeble attempt to push him away; feigning disgust. I don’t know why I tried it, though. My man was built like a truck.

  And those muscles…

  “Are you kicking me out of my own bed?”

  “No. I’m kicking you out of our bed. And technically, we’re on my side. So up you get. We have a wedding to get ready for.” I felt his deep laugh against my hair before he pulled back, strands of my hair surrounding us as he did. I gave a whole new meaning to bed head. I grimaced as he attempted to tame the crazy hair I was sporting, watching an amused smile spread over his handsome face.

  “A wedding, huh? Whose gettin’ married?”

  “Us, baby. So get up!” Laughing again, Hudson pulled me up with him and lifting me against his chest, I quickly wrapped my legs around his wide waist grinning when he groaned.

  “You’re not wearing any panties, are you?”

  “No, why would I? You’d just rip them off me.”

  His hand came down, suddenly on one side of my ass, eliciting a low moan of surprise from my sassy mouth. If that was my punishment, I’d have to remember to be sassy more often.

  “Shower sex?” I asked against his lips, smiling cheekily.

  “Hell yes, shower sex. Get in there vixen.”

  Raising a hand in mock salute, I earned myself another playful slap.

  “Yes, Sir!”

  ***

  “Are you nervous?”

  After our long and oh-so-steamy shower this morning, Hudson dropped me off at Ashlee’s place, I.E. our old apartment and headed to his parents house to get ready with Tristan and the few groomsmen coming today. I knew Tristan was his best man, of course but I hadn’t met his friends at the department that would be standing beside him at the alter, waiting for me. I’d meet them soon, though. Ashlee was doing my hair up in some fancy, braid twisty thing she said I’d love and since she’d always been the more stylish of the two of us, I told her she could do whatever she wanted with my hair and makeup. As long as it wasn’t too crazy.

  “No. I’m so excited. Is that weird? Should I have cold feet right now?”

  Her face softened, her eyes filling with understanding and awe.

  She was my best friend. Pushing the chair back a little, I looked up at her, smiling.

  I couldn’t do any of this without her cheering me on.

  Did she know that?

  I hoped she did.

  “You’re messing up all my work! Geez, woman!”

  She complained, mussing with my hair again as if I’d been running in circles instead of slightly moving my head to look at her while we talked.

  “You know I love you, right?”

  “I know if you mess up your make up once it’s done, I’ll cut you.”

  But, I heard what she really wanted me to know.

  I love you, too.

  Sighing dramatically just for her, I let her complain.

  “Now, we couldn’t have that, could we?”

  “No, we can’t! So shush and let me finish making you p
retty.”

  Rolling my eyes, I let her get back to work, having a feeling that even if I did mess up my make up, the man waiting for me wouldn’t mind.

  I couldn’t wait to marry his sexy ass.

  “Fine, Ash. Do your worst.”

  It took another hour for us to finish getting me ready after I messed her up. Her words, not mine. Ashlee smiled as she appraised me, contentment lifting her lips and warming her gaze. I must have looked damn good!

  “You ready for the dress?” She asked, leaving to room to where we set down the garment bag earlier. For some reason, I couldn’t follow her. My feet suddenly felt as heavy as led and my legs were shaky, like the carpet had just been pulled from under me. Dropping down on the mattress behind me, my face went between my hands and pulling in a ragged breath I tried to breathe through the panic attack that I knew was on the horizon. I got them every once in a while, when my anxiety got to be too much for me to handle. In hindsight, I’d been getting them much less frequently since this year and I knew there was one, singular reasoning for that fact. Hudson.

  “Oh my god! You okay?”

  “Hudson.”

  Pushing his name through my dry throat, I felt the weight of grief stricken sadness settle within my chest. As we’d been planning our wedding, there had been times when I felt my mom’s absence, when I’d wanted her there with me more than anything. But, it was my wedding day. It was my wedding day, the day I’d give myself, wholeheartedly to the man I loved and cherished and would spend forever to…

  My Mom wouldn’t be here to witness any of it.

  God. How hadn’t I expected this? Why was it hitting me so hard, now?

  Useless, stinging tears slid from my eyes and landed on my shaking hands as I heard Ashlee scurry from the room and her hurried footsteps return, her hand clasping one of mine gently; as if she was afraid I would break.

  I was surprised she wasn’t mad at me for messing up my makeup, but couldn’t get the apology out of my lips before she was pressing my phone to my ear. I grabbed it to my ear as she urged me, focusing on just breathing in and out.

  “Hey, Ashlee. What’s up?” His deep voice, so smooth and so rough at the same time slid through me like the smoothest of whiskey’s and I sagged with the calm he gave me with just the sound of his voice. I hiccuped through the soft, grateful sob that broke, painfully through my chest and he must have heard it because his once easeful voice was tight with concern when he spoke, again.

  “Fuck! Darlin’, it’s me. Listen to my voice, you hear me, baby? I’m going to marry you in a few hours and nothing will hurt you, ever again. Nothing. Now tell me what’s wrong.” In just a few sentences, he calmed my panic and quelled my reminiscent sadness. I missed my mom so much, but I knew she wouldn’t want our day to be ruined by tears or the pain of my dark past. Hudson and I were meant to find one another, to heal each other from the losses we’d both felt in our pasts and most of all, to build a life together that would be filled with love, laughter and such hope. Hudson had given me a love I never dreamed of and if I let anything get in the way of that, I’d be a foolish woman.

  “I’m okay, baby. I’m sorry, I was just missing my mom.”

  “Fuck, I wish I was there to hug you right now. I love you, Emberly.”

  Smiling through my tears, I knew he meant it with everything he was.

  He always had.

  “I love you more.”

  “I was just about to text you, it’s weird that you called before I could.”

  Frowning, I looked up at Ashlee’s worried eyes and nodded, letting her know I was okay. She helped me out of my jeans and held the opening of the beautiful, white lace dress I picked out for me. It was sleek and simple and the minute I saw it, I knew it was my dress. It was perfect.

  Stepping into the dress, she took the phone from me and put it on speaker so that I could slip my sweater over my head and adjust my strapless bra before she closed the zipper in the back, turning me around to take a look. When her jaw popped open on a soft squeal, I knew she loved it as much as I did.

  “God, you’re beautiful, girl! So pretty.” Blushing, I heard my sexy man’s voice coming from the phone and laughing, I picked it back up having forgotten about our call.

  “You forget about me, baby?”

  “I was putting on my dress, Hud.”

  “Shit, I can’t wait to see it.” Sitting carefully on the bed, I smiled at the thought of his reaction when he saw me. One tradition we’d kept was that he hadn’t seen the dress before today. I wanted it to be a surprise and judging from his fervor, I was sure it’d be worth the wait.

  “Why were you going to text me?” I asked, wondering if something was wrong if he was willing to distract us so soon before the ceremony. He said I had fifteen minutes to get my ass down the aisle but what could I say?

  I liked making him wait. And the braid thing took a while.

  “There’s a raid I’ve been called in for at the station. We’ve been working on it for a few weeks now and we finally have a location for the shipment.”

  My heart dropped into my stomach as he explained how important it was and all I could think was; he was leaving our wedding for work?

  What the hell?

  “What?”

  “I’m sorry, Darlin’. I won’t be long.”

  “Hudson, I don’t think-”

  I heard some voices in the background and then his voice took on an urgent tone.

  “I have to go, Emberly. I’ll be back before you know it.”

  “Hud-” The dial tone hit my ear a moment later and frowning, I pulled the phone away, sure he hadn’t hung up on me.

  On our fucking wedding day, no less!

  My stomach curled as worry filled my clenching gut, the same worry I always felt he went to work every day. The worry I until now, stayed quiet about.

  What could be so important that he’d leave, now?

  Now of all times? God, I was going to be sick.

  “Emberly! You okay?” No, no I wasn’t. I didn’t say that though. Swallowing thickly, my stomach rolled again and squeezing my eyes shut, I whispered.

  “Please unzip me.” Ashlee frowned, but quickly undid the zipper at the back of the dress I was wearing and as soon as she had it over my head, I rushed into the bathroom next to her bedroom, losing my lunch in the toilet not a full minute after.

  Worst. Feeling. Ever.

  “What’s wrong, babe?”

  “He’s going into work. Some drug raid. I don’t know.”

  I didn’t have to turn around and look at her to know that she was frowning in disapproval. She’d told me to talk to him about my worries. But had I?

  Nope.

  Chapter Thirty Nine

  Hudson

  “MOTHER FUCKER!”. CURSING under my breath, I rushed through the front door of Ashlee’s apartment, my annoyance at the whole situation only worsening when I noticed she’d left the door unlocked. Damn stubborn women.

  The message she sent me wasn’t like her. Not like my sweet, beautiful Emberly.

  12:13 PM- I see where your priorities are, Hudson. Have fun with your raid.

  In the two hours or so that I’d been gone, Emberly sent me one text message. It wouldn’t have bothered me, if it wasn’t for the utter defeat her message left me with. She was upset with me, even mad. I wasn’t dumb so I got that shit.

  But, what I didn’t understand for the fuckin’ life of me was why?

  She’d never had a problem with my job. If anything, it’s what drew us together. If I wasn’t a cop, we never would have met.

  Fuck. The thought of that left a sour taste in my mouth.

  Dragging my hands through my hair in aggravation, I spoke through the locked bathroom door, knowing my girl was on the other side. Ash’s car wasn’t here when I arrived, so she must have already left for the church. My girl was all alone and under the obvious anger she was feeling, there was something more bothering her.

  And I was about to figure that shit out.


  “Open the door, Darlin’.”

  “Did you have fun?”

  Rolling my eyes, I leaned my hands against either side of the door, ready to break down the wall she was putting up between us. We were past this, I knew that.

  Whatever she was upset about, it was enough to scare her into shielding me, again.

  What had scared my beautiful girl?

  “It wasn’t fun, Emberly. It’s my job. I thought you knew that.”

  Dead silence met my terse response and after a few minutes, I heard the lock sliding free and I slammed it open, bounding inside the bedroom without another thought.

  I needed her back in my arms. Then, I’d fix whatever was broken. Whatever I’d unintentionally broken…

  “Hudson!” She squealed in surprise as I hoisted her in my arms and took her to the bed, making sure my grip on her was nice and tight before I took one hand off her curvy waist and tucked it under her chin, lifting her face so I could see her eyes.

  She could run and hide from me all she wanted but when her violet eyes looked into mine, I saw her heart. I saw everything she was feeling, clear as day.

  It was one of the things I loved about her, that when it came to us, she was an open book. You just had to take the time to read between the lines.

  “I’m so mad at you.”

  Finally! An answer.

  “Why? Explain this shit to me because I don’t get it. This is my job.”

  It was what I’d always done. Protect and serve. Catch bad guys. What else did she expect from me when I went in to work every morning?

  “Its our wedding day!”

  “And you know I wouldn’t miss marrying you for the world. I know that’s not what your upset about. Ash told me you’ve been upset. What’s that about?”

  Biting her lip, she nods.

  “Ever since you went after Brad, I’ve known how easy it would be for you to be hurt. God, or worse. I don’t know how I would handle that. I just… worry. I don’t want us to lose each other. We’ve come so far…” Her voice was breaking and it was breaking me.