Living Again

by L. L. Collins

  “Sweetie, you shouldn’t have been afraid to tell us about him. We want you to be happy,” Liz said. “We would never expect you to pine for Alex forever. You will always be a daughter to us, and we can never thank you enough for letting us be a part of your life still.”

  “Enough talking to us old people. Get in there and make things right. Life is too precious and time too short to let things like this go. You know that as well as we do. We’ll see you tomorrow.” Allen kissed her on the cheek, and the two of them got into the car and left.

  Kayley stood in her driveway, her head reeling and her body in overload on what had just happened. Ben was in her house. And she was okay with that. What Allen had said was right. He hurt her, she hurt him. They both allowed misunderstandings to get way out of control. But they loved each other. And he loved Alexis just as much. She knew she was done fighting rationale over feelings. From the beginning, she had tried pushing him away as much as she could, never wanting to admit that her feelings were important. She was so tired of fighting. She just wanted to be happy. And up until almost two weeks ago, she had been deliriously happy.

  Striding up the driveway and into the house, Kayley knew. The torture and pain for both of them was ending—right now. She walked into the house, where Ben was arranging the beautiful purple hyacinths into a vase in the kitchen and Alexis was playing, just like everything was back to normal in her world. When she walked in, Ben froze, waiting for her reaction to him being there.

  Kayley marched up to him, stopping a few inches from touching him. He looked at her, wide eyed. Smelling his cologne, she breathed in, and a smile broke across her face. Standing up on her toes, she pressed her lips to his, almost crying in relief at feeling him again. The flowers forgotten, Ben crushed her body to his as he kissed her deeply, sighing into her mouth as she allowed her tongue to dance with his. Sucking his tongue into her mouth, Kayley gripped his shirt, then ran her hands up and touched his face. She loved the feeling of the slight stubble he had at this time of day, his high cheekbones, and then his soft, sexy hair. Wrapping her hands around his neck, she pulled him down so she could deepen the kiss even more. She could feel his heart pounding against her chest, and she took one of her hands and placed it over his heart, wanting to feel that he was here. He picked her up and sat her on the counter easily, so they were now even and face to face. She parted her legs and he stepped in between them, closing the distance between their bodies again. Not even wanting to breathe, they kissed for so long neither of them knew how long it had been.

  Leaning back to catch her breath, she noticed Ben’s face. Tears coursed down his cheeks and dripped off his chin, and his chest shook with restrained sobs. Using her thumbs to catch his tears, she pressed them to her lips as he had done to hers once before. No words had been spoken between them since he walked in the door, yet they had already said volumes.

  “I-I thought for sure I’d never see you again,” Ben hiccupped, touching her face everywhere. Tears mirroring his now dripped down her face, and she let them go. “God, Kayley, I’m so sorry. I know they are just words, baby. But I promise, I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I love you so much.”

  Kayley allowed those words to sink into her soul, believing them, trusting them. “I’m sorry too, Ben. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you. Truly. I’m done running and being scared. We both hurt each other, but hopefully we learned big lessons on how to move forward. I can’t live another moment without you.” She looked over her shoulder at Alexis. “Neither can she.”

  Ben pulled Kayley to him, hugging her so tightly she could barely breathe. But she didn’t dare move. “This isn’t a dream, right? Because if it is, I’m going to be really, really pissed when I wake up.”

  She laughed, rubbing his back under his shirt. “No way.”

  He pulled her chin up and kissed her delicately, like a fine piece of china that could break. “Never again,” he murmured against her lips. “I promise.” Trailing kisses from her mouth to her neck, he breathed her in. “God, I don’t know how I’ve lived over the past week, baby.”

  Kayley looked at his eyes, the beautiful blue of the ocean. Her heart skipped at the love and emotion she saw there. “Babe, we haven’t lived. At least I haven’t. I honestly don’t know how I’ve functioned at all. You were everywhere. My thoughts, my dreams, my memories. I think I may be dehydrated for years after all the crying I’ve done. Let’s make a promise, okay?”

  “Anything,” Ben immediately said, his hands resting on her legs. He ran them up and down the bare skin of her thighs and she shivered, goose bumps breaking out on her body. Ben smirked at her reaction. “I want you too, baby,” he growled in her ear. “Let’s count the hours until Alexis goes to bed, because I’m going to make you scream my name over and over and over again.”

  Kayley eyes widened and her whole body tightened, aroused at his words. “Maybe I’m going to make you scream my name,” she teased.

  He raised his eyebrows and put his lips back at her ear. “Maybe Alexis should go visit Nana tonight. Now what’s the promise? Wait, I have one. I promise to make this night the best night of your life, even better than our first night. What’s yours?”

  “I was going to say let’s promise to always tell each other everything, even if it seems insignificant. That could’ve saved us a whole lot of heartache.” Kayley grinned. “That’s not nearly the kind of promise that you made me, but I will take both of them.”

  “Thank you,” Ben said suddenly, seizing her again. All teasing forgotten, he held her, caressing her and kissing her gently.

  “For what?”

  “For taking me back. For forgiving me. I don’t know who that man was you saw back at my house that night. I don’t ever want to see him again. That’s another promise I will make you. You will never see that person again, that mean, hateful, spiteful person. I know we’ll get mad at each other, but I promise to never, ever treat you like you don’t matter, even when I’m mad. I will always listen to you and hear you out.”

  “I know, babe. I know,” Kayley reassured him. She continued to run her hands underneath his shirt, loving the feel of his rippling muscles under her hands. “You don’t have to thank me. You came after me, you tried. I’m the one that was too stubborn to give in. So, I promise too. I will always listen to you and never run away mad. I will spend forever if you want me to, showing you how much you mean to me.”

  “If I want you to?” Ben hooted. “I dare you to try to get away from me now. Do we have enough money saved up to not work for the rest of our lives?”

  They laughed, and Ben picked her up off the counter. “I have a song for you. Let’s dance.” He removed his phone from his pocket, selected the song, and sat it on the counter. Kayley closed her eyes, loving how he always picked the best song, and each time, it took her back to the song he sang in her ear. Wanted by Hunter Hayes started streaming through the speakers of his phone, and Alexis turned, hearing music. Smiling, she toddled over to them and held her hands up to be held. Ben grabbed her, then pulled Kayley to him, swaying back and forth slowly to the words.

  As she listened to the lyrics, she closed her eyes, emotion overtaking her. Ben whispered his lips across hers. “Open your eyes.” She did as he asked, and he held her head with his big hand. “I mean every word in this song, baby. Nothing makes sense without you. The world is brighter with you in it. I want you, from this moment on. You’re beautiful, but more importantly, you’re a kind, loving, and tenderhearted woman.”

  They were silent through the rest of the song, Alexis’ head on Ben’s shoulder and her hand holding her moms. Ben kept his one arm around Kayley, holding her tightly to him as they danced slowly. As the last chords of the song played, Ben released her with a loving smile.

  “Whoever said chivalry is dead hasn’t met you, Ben Nichols,” she smiled, wiping the emotion from her eyes. “You never cease to amaze me.”

  “We dance, Daddy?” Alexis asked, her hands on either side of
his face.

  “Always, Princess,” he answered, kissing her button nose. “You’re my Princess, and Mommy is my Queen. I love you both with all of my heart.”

  Alexis looked at Kayley. “We wuv Daddy, Mommy?”

  “We do, baby girl. We sure do.” Kayley kissed Alexis, then gripped Ben’s hand as he released Alexis back to the floor.

  “Now, let’s go spend some time with our girl. Want to go for a bike ride? Then, I’m serious, we’re taking her to your mom and dad’s because I’m going to take you in every room in this house tonight. Well, except hers, because that would be just wrong. Oh- and you know the flowers? They are purple hyacinths. They mean, please forgive me, I’m sorry.”

  “Already did,” Kayley answered. She turned to Alexis. “Want to go for a bike ride, Princess?”

  “Thank you,” Ben said to Kayley’s mom and dad, not even bashful about asking them to keep Alexis so he could take Kayley home. Kayley was in Alexis’ bedroom at their house, saying goodnight to her.

  “Ben, we’re so glad that you two worked it out. Of course we want to keep Alexis. What we want is for all of you to be happy again, and be a family.” Renee smiled at Ben. “That is what you want still, right?”

  “More than anything,” Ben admitted, then turned to Dale. “I want to ask you, sir, if you think it would be okay for me to ask Kay to marry me. Not right now, but sometime in the near future.”

  Dale and Renee exchanged a glance, and Renee put her hand over her mouth. “Son, nothing would make us happier than to see Kayley happy again. When we see her talk about you, it’s almost like the worst didn’t happen to her two years ago. Not that she will forget, but you helped her move on. She left the past in the past. We would be happy to have you in our family.” Dale clapped Ben on the back and pulled him in for a hug.

  “What’s going on here?” Kayley asked, waking into the room. The two men eyed each other, a secret between them. Ben reached for her hand and pulled her to him, kissing her softly.

  “They were just putting me in my place,” Ben said, winking at them.

  Kayley gasped. “Mom! Dad! Why would-”

  “I’m kidding, Kay. Kidding. We were just having a discussion about us figuring things out.”

  Kayley smacked his arm, grinning. “Well thank goodness! I would hope they would never do that to you.”

  “You two take care,” Renee said, a knowing smile on her face. “You’ll pick up Lex after work tomorrow?”

  “One of us will,” Ben said. “I have a short day tomorrow, so I may be able to be here earlier than Kay, depending on if any emergencies come in.”

  Kayley listened to Ben talk to her parents about picking up her daughter early, and she felt content. This man, that she almost lost, didn’t care about going to the gym or getting a drink to relax after work. He cared about picking up her daughter and taking her home early, so Kayley didn’t have to get her. She had missed him so much. Her stomach fluttered as she thought about going home alone with him. They hadn’t been together in too long. She thought back to his heated whispers in her ear when they were in her kitchen several hours ago, and she blushed. She had no doubt that he fully intended to do everything he said, and she couldn’t wait. They had said everything they could say; their bodies were going to show the rest.

  “I see that pretty blush on your cheeks,” Ben whispered in her ear. “I know what you’re thinking about, and you better bet that I’m thinking about it, too. Let’s go home, Kayley.”

  She smiled up at him, touching his face. “Let’s go home.”

  Ben opened the front door and stepped back, letting Kayley in and shutting the door behind him. As she stepped away, he grabbed her arm, turning her around to face him. Taking her purse off her shoulder, he flung it to the ground, the contents scattering.

  “Hey!” she laughed. “What…”

  “I told you, every room,” Ben said, his voice deep and his expression scorching her. Her eyes widened and her body pulsed with need for him. Desire curled around them, filling up the room. He stepped forward, pressing her against the front door. “Screaming my name,” he reminded, his eyes dark with longing. Kayley swallowed, her throat dry and her pulse pounding at the raw sex that he exuded. She licked her lips, wetting them, and his eyes zeroed in on them. He leaned forward and bit her lip gently, and she gasped, feeling the sensation zapping her everywhere. “Remember the last time I had you against this door? I didn’t have you the way I’m going to have you now. Touch me.”

  Kayley watched his intent gaze follow her as she put her hands on his chest, pulling his shirt off of his head. She sucked in her breath at the sight of his beautiful chest. No matter how many times she saw him, she could never stop the reaction she had to seeing him. “I love your body,” she murmured, leaning over and pressing kisses along his shoulders, neck, and chest. She leaned over, kissing the hard ridges of his stomach, feeling his slight hair tickling her nose. He ran his hands through her hair as she kissed down his body. She breathed in, smelling the intoxicating smell that was inherently him. Reaching the waistband of his jeans, she looked up at him. He smiled seductively, causing her stomach to flutter. Unbuttoning his jeans, she pushed them off his hips, smiling when she heard him suck in a breath. He hauled her to her feet and slammed her against the door, almost frantic as he reached under her shirt and flung it off, followed quickly by her shorts.

  His eyes wild, he scanned her body, pressing himself against her in the most delicious way. She moaned, leaning against the door, her eyes closed. The sound fueled him further, and he kissed her frantically, sucking her lips, then her tongue, followed by biting her softly, then licking. His hands cupped her breasts, teasing and arousing as his mouth went down her neck, to her chest. He slid the bra straps off her shoulders, then used one hand to unclasp it from the back. Throwing it, he sucked one nipple into his mouth, his arm around her waist, holding her up against the door, and the other headed south, to her most sensitive area.

  They both groaned in mutual ecstasy as his fingers found her though her small lace thong. He moved the scrap of fabric out of the way, moving his mouth to the other breast as he moved through her wetness. Kayley arched back as he explored her with his mouth and fingers, her senses everywhere all at once. She reached down and pushed his boxers off, taking him in her hands. As soon as she touched him, he growled and became more urgent, rocking his fingers into her. She rubbed his soft tip, feeling the moisture there. Running her hand slowly up and down his manhood, adding slight pressure, she felt it. His suckling, his fingers, touching him, it was all too much.

  Standing back up, his lips found hers again, his other hand teasing her nipples as he made love to her with his mouth again. Just as hard and intense as he was before, he intensified their kiss, his tongue and mouth so consuming, she didn’t know where he stopped and she began. Her chest heaved with arousal and excitement, and she continued touching him, making him even harder than before.

  Abruptly turning her around, he pressed her from the back. He rubbed himself along her backside, his hands around her, touching her everywhere. He moved both hands to her panties and pulled. She was shocked when she heard them tear, and he growled as he threw them to the ground. She reached around behind her to try to touch him again, but he gripped her hands and put them on the door, holding her there. She didn’t know who this Ben was- but she loved it. He was only driven by pure, hot need right now, nothing else.

  “So. Hot,” he grunted, rubbing at her entrance. She whimpered, practically begging but unable to formulate any words. “What do you want, baby. Tell me.”

  She leaned back against him, not able to move her arms but trying to move herself as close to him as she could. She opened her mouth, but nothing would come out. She panted, closing her eyes as he continued to rub himself right at her entrance.

  “You don’t have any words for me? Damn, you’re so hot. I need you, I want you,” he murmured, letting go of her hands so he could run his down her body.

  �
�I want you, now,” she finally forced her brain to connect to her mouth.

  Ben kissed the back of her neck, his hands on her hips. Thrusting himself inside her, she immediately clenched and screamed. The sensation was too much. He felt so good, so right. He pulled her hips back and forth as he stroked in and out of her.

  “Harder,” she spit out, leaning her forehead against the door. Ben groaned and happily obliged, pushing into her as hard as he could, over and over again. She felt the sensations building, knowing she wasn’t going to last much longer. She reached behind her and wrapped her arms around Ben’s head, pulling him as close as he could be. He panted into her ear, both of them moving in sync with each other. He ran his tongue along her ear, making her shiver. She started squeezing him tighter, and knowing her body, he knew she was close. He reached his hand around her, touching and feeling her so her slickness coated his fingers. He loved feeling himself inside her, and he took his finger and began rubbing her in circles as he continued the pace from behind, matching his stroke to his finger.

  “Yesssss,” she bucked, putting her arms behind her and pulling him closer, into her. He gritted his teeth, trying to make it until she let go.

  “Let go with me, baby,” he grunted, his voice like hot lava. The combination of his touch in multiple places, coupled with his words, sent her body convulsing on him, over and over and over. She felt like her body was freefalling out of a plane without a parachute. She closed her eyes as her body shuddered and let go, feeling him pulsing inside her, doing the same. They continued like this for longer than she could count, allowing their bodies to come down from the greatest high they had ever imagined.

  Ben panted, feeling like he had just run a marathon. But, oh, my god was it so much better than that. He rested his head on Kayley’s shoulder, bringing his arms around her waist and holding on for dear life. He kissed her softly, relishing in the taste of her slightly sweaty skin. Sweaty from their lovemaking.