Living Again

by L. L. Collins

  Suddenly, Kayley’s shoulders started shaking. “Kay? Are you okay? Did I hurt you? I’m so sorry, baby,” Ben turned her so she was facing him.

  She shook her head, tears still pouring from her eyes but the hugest smile crossing her face. “No, no, babe. I- you- that was amazing. I mean, you have always been a fantastic lover. But that? Holy shit, Ben. You need to do that…again.”

  Ben laughed, throwing his head back. “I missed you.”

  “Well, then I need to make you miss me again,” Kayley said, wiping her tears.

  “Oh no, never again am I going to miss you like that. But I will, however, do that whenever you want me to.” Ben raked his eyes up and down her gorgeous body, becoming aroused again. “Why the tears?”

  “Happy,” Kayley said, her eyes roaming him as well. “So damn happy, I can’t hardly stand it. I wasn’t crying. My heart was leaking from my eyes. It’s so full. Thanks to you.”

  “It’s going to be my mission in life to make it full,” Ben said huskily, touching her where he had just been. “Now, let’s move to the next room. I’m thinking kitchen.”

  Kayley laughed, her eyelids fluttering closed as he teased her with his fingers. She didn’t think she could possibly be ready again after that, but maybe her body knew just a little better than she did. “K-kitchen?” she mumbled. “I may need to lay down after that. My legs may not hold me for a second round like that.”

  Ben scooped her up like she was a feather, carrying her into the master bedroom. “In that case, kitchen later. I’m going to do some naughty, naughty things to you, Ms. Carson.” Sitting her on the bed, he crawled over her, pressing his hardness into her. She arched her back, wanting him. “Oh no you don’t,” he teased. “You don’t think you’re going to get that already, do you? I must make you really, really want it first.”

  She writhed beneath him, trying in vain to put him where she wanted him. “Done,” she said, looking up at him with such longing, he almost gave in. But seeing her, laying here on the bed they had shared so many nights over the last several months, he wanted to take it really slowly this time, so her body remembered his kisses he gave it like tattoos branded on her skin.

  Kayley opened her eyes to the bright sunlight, hearing her soft alarm playing next to her head. Wanting to groan but grinning like a fool instead, she stretched her arms and legs, turning side to side. She was so sore and completely exhausted after very little sleep, but it was delightful. She would gladly walk around with both of those things today after last night.

  After he had made love to her almost excruciatingly slowly in their bed, he had moved her into the shower. Hitting snooze on her alarm, knowing she could push it just a little longer, she closed her eyes, relishing in the memory of last night.

  “Time for the shower,” Ben had purred in her ear, running his tongue where he had just whispered. She shivered, and he laughed. They were sitting at the kitchen bar, feeding each other fruit, cheese, and crackers at 2am, starved after hours of love making, talking, and holding one another. Neither of them wanted to sleep, wanting to prolong the amazingness of this night. She thought they had probably spent more time kissing, passing food back and forth to one another, than eating. She loved every moment of it.

  She took a grape in her mouth and then leaned over, hungrily sucking his lips in. When he opened, she rolled the grape in with her tongue. He accepted it and groaned, rolling it to the side of his mouth and continuing licking into hers. Finally pulling away, he crunched the grape, his gaze hot on hers.

  She sat back in the barstool, a wicked smile playing on her lips. “So, let’s see how we’ve done tonight. First, at the front door. After, the master bedroom. Then, the couch. Is this the final act, the shower?”

  Ben looked offended. “Last act? You think I don’t have enough stamina to last until we have to go to work? He wiggled his eyebrows at her, and ran his finger down her chest, successfully opening the robe she wore. Using his whole hand to push it off her shoulders, his face darkened with desire again.

  “We could make it barstool next,” he said, using his thumbs to rub her breasts.

  Kayley had no idea how in the world either of them were even still walking, much less still desiring to continue this, but she was just as hot for him as she was six hours ago. The way he touched her, looked at her, and made love to her, she may just lock him in her room for the rest of her life. She leaned her head over close to his ear. “But, I think I just may be dirty,” she purred, mimicking him by licking his ear. “Do you think you know how to help me with that?”

  Ben sucked in a breath, blowing it out slowly through his teeth. “Maybe I like you dirty.”

  “But I think being clean is really, really fun.” She walked her fingers down his abs until she got to his basketball shorts, where she knew he was going commando underneath. Taking hold of the waistband, she stood up, pulling him with her into the master bathroom. Letting the robe fall from her shoulders, she reached into the shower and turned on the water. Leaving it to warm up, she turned to Ben.

  “These don’t belong in the shower,” she stated, taking control. She slid her hands in either side of the shorts and pushed them down, and just like that, they were standing in front of her bathroom mirror, looking at each other like they were a buffet and they hadn’t eaten in weeks. Ben pulled her closer, his hands tangled in her hair.

  “I love every single part of your body. It was made for me. You were made for me.”

  Her emotions a puddle on the floor, she tipped her face up. “We were made for each other.” She released him and stepped into the shower, curling her finger at him so he would come in after her.

  As they stood under the water, they rubbed shampoo into each other’s hair, relishing each moment of this new experience. Kayley squirted body wash on a washcloth and used it to caress every part of her lover’s body. Moving slowly and sensually, Ben did the same, until they were both clean and very, very turned on.

  Determined to take the lead, Kayley put her finger on his lips when he tried to kiss her. He frowned, and she smiled. Reaching down to cup him, his eyes widened. He reached out to touch her and she shook her finger at him.

  “What are you doing, my love?”

  “It’s my turn,” she said against his mouth, trailing her mouth down his body. The water from the shower ran down both of them, and she licked the water off his stomach. His breath hitched as she pushed him back against the built in bench seat. She continued her path, then took him in her mouth. He gripped her hair, smoothing it back as the water ran over both of them. Kayley reveled in the power she had over his body as he struggled to maintain control.

  Not wanting to wait anymore, she straddled him, smoothing back his wet hair from his face and looking into his sea blue eyes. His eyelashes were stuck together with water droplets, and his face had water running down it in rivulets. His full lips were red with their kisses, and he licked them as she stared. She wished she could take a picture of how amazingly gorgeous he looked at this moment, but instead, she took it in her mind.

  She reached down, guiding him until he entered her, and he gripped her hips, slowing her. “I’m in control,” she teased, moving up and down on him, watching as his eyes rolled back and his arms squeezed her. The sensation of him, combined with the water making them slippery, and she knew neither of them would last for long. He sat back, trying to let her keep control but wanting it badly. Feeling powerful and sexy, she continued her seduction of him, riding him until she couldn’t take it anymore.

  “Can I touch you now?” Ben growled, his eyes positively on fire. She nodded, and his hands were everywhere. Her breasts, her ass, in between her legs. They both came undone after that, and she lay her head on his chest until she felt she could breathe again.

  “Kay?” Ben’s voice was gravelly. “Remember what you said at the front door earlier?”

  Kayley sat back, a small smile on her face. “Yeah?”

  “Holy shit,” he repeated, breathing out a long b
reath. “You can do that again, and again, and again.”

  “Which time are you thinking of?” Ben’s voice was in her ear. Her eyes flew open and she grinned at the sexiest man in the world, laying naked next to her. He leaned over and kissed her gently. Her lips were actually sore. She wasn’t sure if that had ever happened to her before.

  “Who says I was thinking about that?” Kayley looked over at this breathtaking man, and then giggled.

  “Because you had a shit eating grin on your face with your eyes closed. And, because it’s all I’m going to think about today. Or for the rest of my life. Make up sex with you is awesome. But next time, let’s have the sex without the fight, okay?”

  “You got it,” Kayley agreed. “No fighting. And…I was thinking about the shower.”

  Ben groaned, putting his muscular arm over his eyes. “My god, that was the most amazing thing ever. You, being all bossy and stuff, and me not able to touch you? That was hot. Freaking hot. I’m going to think about that for a really, really long time. Unless you’d like to repeat that this morning.”

  Kayley laughed, rolling over on top of him. “I wish I could, sexy doctor. But, I have to get to work. And I have to make coffee, because I know I’m going to need it today, or I may just fall asleep on one of the patient beds.” By the time they had gone to bed, it was around 4am, and now it was just after 7. “What time do you get off? You told my mom you had an early day.”

  “I do,” he answered. “I want to get princess. I needed you alone last night, but I miss that little girl. Is that okay?”

  Kayley pushed his hair back, kissing his forehead, nose, then lips, then running her tongue along his morning stubble. “I love you, Ben Nichols. Of course that’s okay. She’s your daughter.” His hands roamed her naked backside, awakening the other part of him.

  “I have something for you,” Ben said.

  “I feel that,” Kayley laughed, rubbing up against him slightly.

  “Well, yes, that,” he laughed back. “But no, I actually do have something for you. I meant to give it to you last night, but uh- well, we were otherwise occupied.” Holding onto her, he leaned over the bed where he had deposited his jeans after collecting random clothing from around the house in the middle of the night. Rummaging in the pocket, he produced a box.

  Kayley’s heart pounded. What in the world? He wasn’t proposing now, like this, was he? Her eyes wide, she met Ben’s eyes.

  “Open it,” he said softly. She sat up, pulling the blanket around her as she held the small box in her hand. He ran his fingers along her arm, waiting. She looked at him again, then the box. Opening the cover, she gasped as she saw what it was. Nestled in the box was a beautiful tear drop shaped blue topaz necklace, surrounded on the outside by platinum gold and small diamonds.

  “Ben,” she breathed, her hand on her heart. “This is amazing, honey. Why? This is too much.” Her fingers ran along the beautiful stone.

  Ben removed the box from her hand and sat up, taking the necklace out and holding it up. The sun shone through it. “Remember the crystal heart I gave you?”

  “How could I forget it?” Kayley said. It still hung from her rearview mirror.

  “I gave you that so you could remember, when you looked at it, to follow your heart. I hoped at the time that your heart would lead you to me.”

  “It did,” she said softly. “Every single time I looked at it, I thought of you.”

  “Well, this, it’s kind of similar, except see the shape?”

  “Teardrop,” Kayley stated.

  “Yes,” Ben unclasped it and put it around her neck. “And when you wear it, I want you to remember that I will never, ever make you cry like that again. The only tears I want to see from you are happy ones, like when we’re laughing or teasing each other, or emotional ones, like when we make love, or when we get married, when we have more babies, or when Alexis goes off to school. Never, Kayley. This necklace is a visual reminder of my promise that something like what happened will never, ever, ever, happen again.”

  Kayley sniffled, allowing his words to sink in. Fingering the beautiful topaz, she still couldn’t believe he was real, all of this was real. Love like his only existed in romance novels and movies. “Ben,” she whispered, blinking away the tears building in her eyes. “I swear, you never cease to amaze me. I love it, and I will wear it always. It’s so meaningful, and thank you. But most of all, I love you. Every single part of you. We’re moving forward. Together.”

  Kayley checked her schedule to see how many more patients she had today. She was exhausted. Downing an energy drink, she smoothed her hair back into a clip and caught her reflection in the therapy room mirror. She felt like her face was frozen into a smile. Her cheeks were flushed, and even though she hadn’t felt this tired since Alexis was a baby, she felt alive. Her eyes were bright, despite circles under them from lack of sleep. It was totally worth it¸ she thought, smiling at why she was so exhausted. It started with Ben, and it ended with Ben.

  “Kayley to the office,” the intercom announced, shaking her out of her reverie. Thinking it was Rachel wanting details and she had been avoiding her, she walked quickly to the front of the building. She swung open the door, her eyes searching for Rachel. Instead, she noticed an enormous bouquet of roses sitting on the counter in the office.

  “Yes, they’re for you,” Rachel’s voice came from behind her. She walked to the counter, her heart fluttering. “Dr. Yummy, huh? What in the world did you do to deserve that many flowers?” Ignoring her, Kayley reached for the card sticking out of the top of the arrangement. She couldn’t even count how many flowers there were, with baby’s breath in between, nestled in the most beautiful vase she had ever seen.

  “Guess you two made up, huh? I can’t say that I’m surprised, though he better watch out if he ever does something like that to you again,” Rachel continued, seemingly not caring that Kayley wasn’t answering her.

  Kayley, my girl, the card read. I can’t stop thinking about you, and these flowers are only fractionally as beautiful as you are. You have quickly become my whole world, Ms. Carson, and I cannot wait for what the future holds. Thank you for just being you, and for having the world’s most adorable little girl, too. Thinking of you today and always. See you tonight. I can’t wait. Ben.

  She held the card to her chest, tears blurring her vision. She didn’t think her heart could take one more romantic word from him, or it just might burst out of her chest. She leaned over, closing her eyes as she breathed in the sweet smell of the roses. How had she gotten so lucky? Not once in her life, but twice, to have been a part of two amazing men’s lives?

  Rachel tapped her foot impatiently. “Hel-lo? Earth to Kayley?”

  Kayley grinned at her. “Yes, we’re back together. We worked everything out. It’s a story for another time, but let’s just say everything worked out the way it was supposed to.”

  Rachel rolled her eyes, pretending to be irritated. Really, she was only irritated that her own story didn’t turn out that way. Blowing her breath out, she smiled at her friend. “That’s great, Kay. You two are so cute it’s ridiculous. But, I’m serious. If he ever does anything like that again, we won’t ever let him near you again.”

  Kayley and Ben settled in to a regular routine. December came, and with it the craziness of Christmas time. Having survived their first holiday as a couple, Thanksgiving, Kayley was looking forward to the memories of Ben being around for Alexis’ first Christmas where she actually knew what in the world was going on. She was enthralled with all of the decorations, the tree, and of course, presents. She also convinced her that she wanted to go see Santa. They were headed there this afternoon. She fully expected to carry a screaming Alexis out of the mall, but they were going to try.

  Pulling into the hospital parking lot, she got Alexis out of the car and zipped up her jacket. It was a cool Florida day, and she hoped the nice weather stayed around for Christmas. There was nothing worse than sweating on Christmas day. Well, except mayb
e shoveling a driveway full of snow, which she thankfully had never had to do.

  “See Daddy?” Alexis asked, looking up at the hospital. Kayley scooped her up, wanting to get into the hospital quickly and walking with Alexis could take an hour. She loved to see every little thing- even a small bug on the ground could enthrall her.

  “Yes, we’re meeting Daddy and then we’re going to see Santa!” Kayley smiled at her daughter. She wore a red dress with white trim, white stockings, and black patent leather shoes. While she didn’t have quite enough hair to put clips in it, Kayley did find her an adorable elastic red headband with a big flower on the top. She looked like something right out of a kids catalog, if she said so herself.

  “Santa! Daddy sit wif me on Santa? Get pwesents?” Alexis’ big blue eyes looked seriously at her mom.

  Kayley laughed. “Daddy doesn’t get presents from Santa, any more, Princess. Only kids like you do! But Daddy and I will be right there. What are you going to tell Santa you want?”

  Alexis turned her head, thinking. “Baby doll,” she stated confidently, nodding her head.

  Reaching the front desk of the hospital, she saw Aimee there and smiled. They had become friends ever since she and Ben had gotten together. They had bonded over their mutual dislike of Dana. “Hey, Aimee! How are you, girl?”

  She flipped her brown hair over her shoulder and leaned over. “You got here just in time,” she whispered, her eyes dancing.

  “Why?” Kayley looked around at the bustling hospital. “Is Ben busy?”

  “Well he’s busy, but not in the way you think,” she said, making Kayley confused. Looking at her face and realizing she was talking in circles, she continued. “Word is he’s with Dana up in Chief’s office. Seems that Zoey called and ratted her out about what she did in New York, sending those pictures to you. Chief doesn’t accept his staff acting in an inappropriate manner. She’s in some hot water, I guess.”