Back To Good

by Laura Benson

  Goddammit! I slit open one eye and peeked at the hotel phone practically ringing off the hook on the dark wood nightstand. When it stopped, it started right back up again. Damn it, damn it! I guess sleeping in wasn’t on the books for Sunday. That and my alarm on my cell was going off nonstop. Last night, I had been a bit too drunk to remember to shut my cell off. Once I peeled off my clothes, I fell into bed and into dreamless, drunken sleep.

  Throwing back the covers in a fit of irritation, I picked up the phone. “Hello?” my voice sounded like I’d smoked ten packs of cigarettes. I was in desperate need of water.

  “Mornin’, sunshine.” Matthew’s overly cheery voice was grating to my ears.

  I growled into the phone, and he laughed. We’d planned on meeting in the office today to get some things together, but it was supposed to be a brief meeting.

  “Guess I’m your wake-up call today.”

  “What do you want, Matthew?” I spat out. What I really wanted was to fill up the glass on the dresser with tap water from the bathroom. I wasn’t normally a tap water girl, but I was desperate and would’ve drunk anything to soothe my sore throat.

  “Did someone have a late night?” He sounded like he was addressing his pet, not me.

  I sat down heavily on the bed, pressing down the urge to claw his eyes out later. My head was thumping, and I searched through my purse for some aspirin to help with the pounding. “Get to the point.”

  He sighed. “I’ll be at the hotel in about forty-five minutes and wanted to make sure you were bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. So will you be?”

  I groaned. Forty-five minutes? “Yes, I’ll be ready,” I grumbled. “I’ll meet you outside.” Hanging up, I thumped into the bathroom, getting the shower going, finally having that glass of tepid tap water, and brushing my teeth. My mouth tasted like I licked the side of an ashtray!

  Forty-five minutes later, exactly, Matthew was waiting outside for me. He had his Jeep again, which I preferred anyway to his hundred-thousand-dollar monstrosity. In the car, he held a cup of Starbucks coffee out for me. Glancing down, I saw the creamer and sugar in the cup holder.

  “Life saver, you know.” He grinned at me, enjoying the fact that he was getting on my nerves a little too much. Once I made the coffee the way I liked it, he pulled onto the road.

  “So what did you do last night?” he asked curiously, and I wondered if he already knew.

  I took a tentative sip of the hot beverage. “Hung out with Joey.”

  Matthew sputtered and took his eyes off the road to stare at me. “What?”

  I frowned at him. Weird reaction. “We went to a bar where I listened to a few bands that he’s interested in. Wanted my take on them.”

  He cleared his throat and raised his eyebrows at me. “And?”

  “And nothing.” God, I needed more aspirin. “I left after the last band. He was stuck on some groupie’s lips.”

  Matthew’s eyebrow quirked up in that way that it did when he was interested in something, but he kept his eyes on the road this time. “What did you think of the bands?” Guess he wasn’t going to ask how I felt about Joey making out with some blonde bimbo.

  I gently leaned my head against the seat, trying to find a comfortable position that would ease the pounding a little. “I liked the chick band. They did mostly covers, but if they can write, I suspect they’ll be good. Joey seems to have a good ear for that stuff.”

  “He does,” he murmured and turned into the underground parking lot, pulling into his spot.

  I grabbed my bag and coffee, following him to the elevator. Once the metal doors had shut, I turned to Matthew. “Do you think he’ll be successful as a producer and scout?” I could see Joey being successful at it, but wondered if he’d miss the performing after a while. Joey never seemed to be a behind the scenes guy.

  Matthew looked down at me with bright shining eyes. “Joey is successful at just about anything he touches. I don’t think he’ll have a difficult time transitioning from one aspect of the recording industry. In fact, I think he’ll do an even better job behind the scenes,” he said indifferently.

  “Hmm,” I said, looking up at the floor numbers flying by. I could tell Joey wasn’t happy the way things were going. I’m sure having a different girl on his lap every night was getting lonely. If anything, he seemed to long for that human connection that he probably didn’t get with one-night stands and the like. Maybe when he and I were together, he was caught up in it. Now the lifestyle seemed like it was taking its toll.

  “When do we meet with the label?” I asked, putting Joey’s sex life out of my mind for the moment.

  “I’ll try to schedule something before the concert.” He turned toward me, looking a bit surprised by my question. “Technically you’re working for them, but I want you to think about Joey during all of this.” I started to frown and say something when he stopped me. “Listen, our objective is the same, but sometimes using kid gloves around certain people helps in the end.”

  I scratched my forehead, taking in what Matthew said. I wasn’t thrilled that he was telling me how to do my job. I knew exactly how to handle certain people. Sociology and psychology in college taught me that. Especially rich, gorgeous people. This wasn’t the first time I had dealt with wild, and it certainly wasn’t the first time I had dealt with entitled.

  “Fine,” I grunted, sipping my coffee.

  Matthew’s brows raised in mock surprise. “Fine? No ‘I can take care of myself, Charlie’, or ‘shut the fuck up, I know what I’m doing, Charlie’? Damn, you’ve mellowed in twenty-four hours,” he mimicked, giving me a flirty smile.

  I sighed melodramatically. “Yes, fine. I’ll do what you want, when you want. Isn’t that what this all about?” Finally, the elevator doors opened, and I pushed my way out and down to my boring L.A. office. Matthew gave me the smallest, stuffiest, grayest office imaginable. No windows to look out of. It was a fishbowl office, where the door and wall beside it were all glass. No privacy. I sat down heavily in my chair and groaned.

  I immediately went to work, writing up some press copy to send out to various organizations about the record store signing and Joey’s upcoming radio segment. I included links to his website and how people could win tickets to the show. Basically trying like hell to get something out there to generate the publicity we needed to have a successful concert. It wasn’t that Joey was in a down slide regarding his celebrity, but the news that he’d been volatile, hostile, and drug-addled hadn’t exactly presented him as Prince Charming.

  Faxing the copy, I closed my computer and headed down to Matthew’s office.

  A couple of hours had passed, and I was ready to call it a day. I wasn’t going to work my whole Sunday away. I got some things done without the distraction of phones ringing and people wanting me in five different directions. As far as I was concerned, I was done.

  I knocked on Matthew’s door.

  “Come in.” He was staring at his computer and didn’t even look up when I stepped into his office. His office was cheery and huge. He had some gorgeous black and white photos of Joey in concert and a couple of him and Joey that looked like they’d been in Spain or Italy. Joey was looking away from the camera, and Matthew was looking dead straight at it. His smile was breathtaking. I saw the Grammy that Joey won for best new artist on a side table. Platinum albums also littered the wall. A huge Billboard sign took up nearly one wall with Joey’s number one song blown up to gigantic proportions. Well, if anything, Matthew was proud of his friend and employer. I noticed in a smaller picture on a coffee table in front of the love-seat size sofa, there was a picture of Matthew with a gorgeous brunette. I couldn’t quite place her, but knew her to be someone famous. They looked to be very cozy.

  “I’m done for the day. Could you drive me back to the hotel?” I continued to look around the office trying to not focus solely on Matthew and the picture of him with the girl.

  He finally looked up at me with a bit of tiredness to his eyes. He’d caught
me staring at the picture while I bit the skin around my thumb. I crossed my arms against my chest when his look softened at me after glancing at what I was looking at. I just hoped he didn’t decide to talk to me about it. I wasn’t really in the mood.

  “Yeah, I need to finish up a few things, do you mind waiting?” He stuck his hand out, offering me a seat.

  “Sure.” I sat in the grey, plush chair opposite his desk and crossed my legs. I’d put on some short shorts and gladiator sandals earlier in the day, not realizing that my clothing choice would cause Matthew’s eyes to rake over my legs. I secretly watched as Matthew’s gaze slowly went the length of my leg as I swung it back and forth. The heat in his eyes caused my thighs to clench together. I made it look like I was checking Facebook and e-mail as his furtive glances continued to rake over my swinging leg. Okay, so a sly smile graced my lips at the show I was giving him, but if he was going to make me wait, I was going to have some fun with it.

  I had no clue what Matthew was doing and wasn’t about to interrupt him to ask. The sooner he finished, the sooner I could get back and relax. This entire weekend had been sort of a blast from the past meets emotional exhaustion. And my teasing of Matthew was adding to my emotional instability. I decided that I would, in fact, check Facebook and e-mail and stop covertly watching Matthew.

  I was responding to some Facebook questions from friends before I noticed Matthew’s furious typing had stopped. When I looked up, he was staring at me as I toyed with my phone. “What?” I asked, trying to hold in a chuckle.

  He cleared his throat and blinked a couple times. “Nothing.” He was clearly confounded.

  I expected him to return to his work, but he didn’t. He kept staring at me, his blue eyes darkening as he watched me, and I found myself biting my lip harder than necessary. “What?” I asked again with more edge to my voice. “Do I have something on my face?” I started pressing my fingers all around my cheeks and forehead. Maybe there was some leftover toothpaste, or maybe there was some smeared mascara that I didn’t catch after my shower.

  He blinked again, and a small grin formed on his lips. “Yeah, you got a little something…” He started with a finger near his mouth, then did a circle around his entire face, basically insinuating that there was something on my entire face. His grin blew up at his stupid joke.

  “Very funny,” I said sarcastically and went back to messing around with my phone, idly swinging my leg back and forth knowing that it would drive him just a bit crazy.

  He went back to work, his fingers a frenzy on his keyboard, and I found my eyes traveling back up to watch him. Damn it, he was gorgeous. Today especially in his denim button-down shirt and pressed khaki pants. His hair a floppy mess that worked for him. But there was something else about him lately that had me fascinated. He was so different from Joey. Always had been, but maybe I never noticed it when we were kids because we borderline hated each other. Where Joey was more athletic looking, Matthew looked more Fifth Avenue, model ready.

  Now that I was thinking about it, though, I started to dissect their personalities. While Joey was always outgoing, Matthew was a bit more difficult to crack. Joey wore his emotions freely, and Matthew kept everything close to the vest. Even when he was angry or pissed off, for whatever reason, Matthew was a lowly-fused dynamite, Joey would explode, but Matthew would smolder.

  “Do I have something on my face?” Matthew asked, making me jump. I hadn’t even realized he had stopped working again. He caught me staring at him.

  Damn.

  I expected him to make some cocky remark, but he didn’t. There was something on his face I had never seen before—a little sadness, curiosity, and…longing? I felt my heart speed up and my jaw dropped a little in surprise. He’d never looked at me like this. Maybe we were friendly now, but he’d always despised me. I’d always been Joe’s girlfriend, the annoying thorn in his side that he never could manage to dig out. I was the third wheel to their dynamic duo.

  Our eyes locked, and I licked my lips, trembling when he broke eye contact, and his gaze trailed down to my lips. This was just fucking weird. Matthew wanted me? Me?

  The bigger and more shock-inducing question was: did I want him?

  A part of me did, and that part of me wanted to jump up over the desk and yank him to my aching lips. I wanted to taste him on me. But that part of me wasn’t meshing with the past me. I couldn’t put those two girls together. I couldn’t let go of how he used to treat me then versus now. He never physically hurt me. It wasn’t anything that I couldn’t eventually forgive him for, but it was still a struggle. He was a bee in my bonnet.

  I swallowed, and his eyes returned to me, but all those emotions were suddenly gone. The spell was broken. Again, that grown-up part of me wanted to scream, No! But that high school girl kept my lips firmly shut.

  Matthew shook his head. His cheeks were flushed. Again, he took me by surprise. Was he embarrassed?

  Silently blowing out a breath, I went back to my phone, ignoring the heat that had built up in my body after one simple, stupid, extremely hot look. How the hell could he affect me with one look? This was not good. Not at all. I needed to get myself under control. Quickly.

  Joey never called to apologize or to talk about what happened at the bar, and I was somewhat okay with that. Sunday melted into Monday, which in turn became Tuesday. We finalized the plans for the record store on Thursday, and Friday morning on the tenth, the morning of the concert, we’d be at the radio station bright and early. Early reports were that the concert was selling tickets quickly, and the ones that we were giving away were considered a hot commodity. The radio station’s contest line was blowing up. This was good. We were on the right track, and I was very pleased.

  I’d been shadowing Joey from meeting to meeting, with various studio representatives and the bands that he was interested in investing in. Most times he seemed mellow, if a bit strange that I was spending so much time around him. Right now, he was a target for even the smallest of smear campaigns, and my job was to keep his nose clean. Literally and figuratively. From time to time, I’d notice he’d have a hard time staying still; legs bouncing, hands moving rapidly. It was like all this energy was balled up inside him, and he had no way of releasing it. He’d pace, I’d sit. Then he’d sit and bounce up and down. I’d try to get a handle on him, but most times he tuned me out. I brought it up to Matthew, but he dismissed it as nerves. I thought it was more of a chemical thing, but Matthew just glared at me. Yes, I was concerned for Joey. If he was using drugs and hiding it, it was an issue. Something that we’d have to discuss now and not later. Regardless of Matthew’s view on recreational drug use. If he was using anything heavy, well, it needed to be discussed.

  Working for the alpha male does strange things to a woman’s psyche. Over these last few days, there were times when I wanted to slap Joey, beat Matthew, and hitchhike out of town. It was no-holds barred with those two, and I still felt like I needed a shower after dealing with their misogynistic shit. For a few weeks, I’d been working behind the scenes, and we were coming up on the gig with the record shop. I was hoping that Clara would be in my corner. Though I could pretty much surmise that she’d kick ass if those two men got out of line.

  Matthew and I were heading to the shop together. Joey would be meeting us there roughly thirty minutes before his show. We’d put out feelers and very minimal publicity because we weren’t sure how much traffic it would generate. It would’ve sucked if the LAFD shut us down for overcapacity. Clara met us at the front of the store and led us to the back, where people were already setting up the area for Joey. Stragglers were standing around, obviously waiting for their rock god, all of them decked out in T-shirts (with Joey in various poses or a shot of him at a live concert) and holding CDs. I smiled at the early crowd, pleased with how everything looked. Now I just had to make a wish that everything would go off without a hitch. Matthew just nodded and waved at the fans, while Clara and I discussed various set-ups and speaker sound. Within te
n minutes of being at the store, he stepped aside to take a call.

  “What’s stuck up his ass tonight?” Clara asked with an amused look.

  I shrugged. I wasn’t sure what was up with Matthew. Since the weekend—and our ‘moment’—he’d been quiet around me when we were alone and not his usual teasing self when he was with Joe. I looked over toward him, but his back was turned to me. His shoulders were bunched up as he furiously tried to keep his voice down for whoever he was talking to. Curious, I took small, casual steps toward him to hear what he was saying.

  “I don’t give a fuck about that,” he snapped. “We had a deal, and you said it would be fine. Well, I’m standing here, and nothing is fine. Of course, she’ll be there! She’s only good for one thing.”

  Who was he talking to? I could tell he was pissed, and I only hoped that it had nothing to do with tonight and Joey or me. I’d put a lot of faith in Joey being here. If he stood us up, it could ruin everything we were trying to achieve. That was not something I was ready to deal with.

  He started into the caller again. “Listen you motherfucker, I don’t give a shit. We had a deal, and if you renege, your name will be piled onto shit after shit, and I don’t care if you never dig yourself out of that goddamn hole.” Matthew turned around and caught me eavesdropping. He narrowed his eyes at me and turned back around to say a few more words, then effectively cut off the conversation.

  I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Please tell me that had nothing to do with Joey not showing up?”

  Matthew pursed his lips. “It does have to do with Joe, but not for the reasons you think.”

  He looked past me, over my shoulder. I followed his gaze to see Joey had arrived, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Clara was already at Joe’s side before I had a chance to shake off the nerves suddenly building inside of me. With Matthew and Clara here, at least I didn’t have to be around Joey all night. I would just make sure everything went smoothly.