Forever Touched

by Lilly Wilde

  I’d started to get cold, so I prepared to give up and head home just as the door opened behind me. It was Aiden … and he was with Scott.

  “Aria, please. This is not the time to demonstrate your stubbornness. You shouldn’t be out here in this cold.”

  “Aiden, we need to talk,” I said, looking at him. “Alone,” I added, as I glanced toward his new best friend.

  “Scott will see you home,” Aiden said.

  “Are you serious?” I asked.

  Aiden was in his wheelchair and started to roll away.

  “Fuck you, Aiden!”

  I started my way home, Scott trailing me. “I don’t need an escort.”

  “Mr. Raine made it clear that I was to see that you got home out of the cold.”

  “Whatever,” I said as I continued, my eyes wet with tears as I made my way back to the large, empty house. No one had the capacity to love me as much as Aiden … but on the other side of the coin, no one had the ability to break me into as many pieces as Aiden.

  Regardless of what I did or said, he wasn’t coming back. He wanted to be alone in this, and that’s exactly where he’d left me … alone. The sense of abandonment was a familiar and dreaded reminder of my past. It had been a black mist that infiltrated my mind and drove me down a path I now regretted. I couldn’t leave Aiden with that. I wouldn’t let him give into the ridiculous notion that he was somehow less than—that he had to go through this in isolation.

  *****

  Oddly enough, I had a night of uninterrupted sleep. A night that gifted me with sweet dreams and a quiet baby. Lyric must have known Mommy needed her rest, because he’d slept through the night. He was lying on his stomach, fast asleep. I found myself smiling when I thought I heard his little baby snores. Stroking my fingers through his dark curls, I said, “My perfect little guy.”

  Lyric started to shuffle, and eventually he awakened. I lifted him from the crib and snuggled him in my arms.

  “Your father is such an idiot.” I let out a sigh and touched my forehead to Lyric’s. “Even though he can’t seem to keep the promise he made to me, what matters most is that he’s keeping the one he made to you.”

  I noticed a shift in my mood. I wasn’t sad anymore. I was … well, I was resolved to let Aiden have his way. If he wanted to have my support from afar, then he’d have it. I was done trying to push any sense into his thick head.

  With a renewed sense of purpose, I exhaled the pent-up anxiety and made plans for my day. Meeting with Tristan, I asked that he reschedule all of my appointments for the next couple of days. Today was all about me. Aiden could sulk all he wanted, I was done waiting in line for another ride on the emotional rollercoaster.

  “Can you also call the Mandarin Oriental and get me a couple hours at the spa today?”

  “I’m on it,” Tristan said. “Anything else?”

  “Yes. The salon. Tell Diego it’s an emergency.”

  “Yes ma’am.”

  *****

  After some time with probably the best masseuse in Boston, I was sitting in Diego’s chair.

  “You know,” I said, running my fingers through my dark tresses. “I think I want to do something different with my hair.

  Diego’s eyes widened. “Huh?”

  “Why are you looking that way?” I asked.

  “I’ve been styling your hair for five years and it’s always the same. Wash and clip. Or deep conditioning, wash and clip.”

  “I know. But I think it’s time for a change.”

  “Cut?” he asked.

  “Nah. Not ready for anything that drastic. Baby steps.”

  “A color, then? You can’t really go lighter, but how about a lift and some highlights?”

  “Hmm. I don’t know.”

  “You could always go back darker if you don’t like it.”

  I should do it. I wanted to look in the mirror and see someone new … not the sad, stressed woman I’d been for the past few weeks.

  “Let’s do it.” I needed a change. I couldn’t let Aiden’s behavior define my days anymore.

  *****

  Arriving home hours later, I glanced at Aiden’s new residence as I passed. And the anger I’d worked hard to suppress started to surface. I could be as unreasonable as he. I could very easily interpret his departure as an indication he was done with this marriage. So why not take Lyric and leave? Was he so arrogant to think I’d wait around for his scraps? That I’d be here waiting indefinitely?

  Who was I kidding? It was Aiden Raine, so of course he thought exactly that! But what if I turned the tables? What if I let him see what it was like to have the rug pulled from underneath him? To have someone else dictate the path his life would take. As pissed as I was, I knew I wouldn’t do that. How could I when I knew this foolishness was his misguided attempt to distance me from the possibility of more pain? And even more so, how could I do that to him when Nadia had already done just that?

  *****

  Leaning my forehead against the kitchen window, I gazed at the house on the far end of the property. It was so close, but it may as well have been hundreds of miles away, because that’s how far Aiden was from my reach. Was he in therapy? Was he eating? Was he missing his wife and son? I didn’t know. And I wouldn’t know because he didn’t want me to know.

  Each morning, upon waking, I grabbed a cup of tea and sat at the same window, the same questions running through my head. And then I looked toward the future, envisioning the day when Aiden was back with me. It was silly, but it was my way of starting the day with him.

  One day, things would be right between us again. They had to be. In the meantime, I’d picked up the pieces of my life, placing one stilettoed foot in front of the other and making my way without Aiden. On his behalf, I’d spoken at the dedication ceremony for the new Raine Therapeutic Recovery wing at the hospital. I was thriving at work and I was enjoying time with Lyric. I’d resumed my piano lessons as well. Just because Aiden wasn’t around to teach me didn’t mean I had to put it off.

  Although I was doing pretty well, I didn’t like this new normal. And regardless of Aiden’s reluctance to come back to me, I knew he didn’t either.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  April bounced into my office with a buoyancy that had the potential to brighten any room she entered.

  “Oh wow! Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” I asked, pulling her into a hug.

  “Then it wouldn’t have been a surprise.” She grinned at pointing out the obvious.

  “So what brings you to Boston?”

  “You’ll never guess,” she said, a wide smile on her pretty face.

  I motioned for her to have a seat. She was wearing a form-fitting dress that revealed her hour-glass shape. April worked out—a lot.

  After years of coaxing, she’d finally taken my advice and was making plans to move to Boston, but her decision to move had little to do with me. Her boyfriend Blaine had been offered a promotion which required relocation and, given the seriousness of their relationship, she was moving with him. They were actually looking for a place together.

  “This can only mean one thing,” I said.

  “What?”

  “You two have made plans for a future together.”

  “Maybe,” she said. “I want to take my time … and get it right, you know?”

  April had always been eager to connect with someone. Sometimes her desire overtook rational thinking. She threw caution to the wind when it came to guys. So to hear that she was playing it safe was further affirmation of the importance of her relationship with Blaine. She wanted a future with him.

  “I’m so happy for you.”

  “Thanks, Aria. I’m over the moon happy with him. He’s the one,” she beamed. “I just know it.”

  Finally. The guy she’d been searching for had come along and stolen her heart. She looked amazing. Her long, brunette hair was full and flowing around her shoulders, and she was smiling so widely it was contagious.

  “Let�
��s grab lunch,” I said. “I just may have some potential employment opportunities for you.”

  “Okay, but not here. I know you’ve offered in the past, but now that you run the company, I don’t know if I would feel comfortable working for you.”

  “Why?” I asked.

  “Because you’re a tyrant when it comes to work. I don’t want anything to ever jeopardize our friendship again.”

  “Neither do I,” I said. “And I’m quite sure I can remain professional regardless of a friendship.”

  “Thanks, but I’ll pass,” she said.

  April and I chatted about the companies she was interviewing with as we made our way to Grotto. After we were seated at a booth, we placed our orders and then she said, “I know I’ve said this a thousand times, but I’m glad we’re friends again.”

  “So am I, April. I really missed you … even though I didn’t want to.”

  April shook her head at me. “You and your stubbornness. My poor godson doesn’t stand a chance with parents like you and Aiden,” she said with a laugh.

  “I know. I seriously wonder about that all the time.”

  “So how’s he doing? Still chomping on his toes?” she asked.

  I took a sip of water. “Every chance he gets.”

  “And Aiden? How is he?”

  I looked down at my silverware, not wanting to reveal the state of my marriage.

  “Aria, what is it?”

  “Where should I start? The part where he refuses to let me help him or the part where he moved out and served me with a visitation schedule for Lyric?”

  “What? When did that happen? And why didn’t you tell me?”

  “A week or so ago. I have a hard enough time thinking about it, let along talking about it.”

  “Did you two have a big fight or something?” she asked. “I can’t picture him ever leaving you.”

  “In his warped mind, he hasn’t.”

  I explained the events that led up to Aiden’s decision to leave, April’s eyes dimming more with each detail.

  “I have a few choice words for him,” she said once I’d finished.

  “Good luck getting within hearing range. He has round-the-clock security who have a list of the select few who are allowed to visit, and if my name isn’t on that list, I doubt yours is.”

  “Unbelievable,” she said, shaking her head. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Thanks,” I replied.

  The waiter placed our food on the table and then stepped away.

  “This looks good,” April said, lifting her spoon.

  “It’s delicious. My favorite,” I said, as I took a spoon of the zuppa.

  “Looks like my move came just in time. I can keep you and Lyric in good spirits,” she said.

  I looked up at April. There was so much more she wanted to say. I knew her well enough to know she wanted to rip Aiden a new one. Her only deterrent was the wounded look on my face. I’d lived every day of it. Hell, I was still living it, and I didn’t need a reminder from anyone of what I already knew. Aiden was wrong. He’d been hurtful and he’d been selfish.

  “Thank you for not saying anything more than that,” I said.

  “For now, I’ve said the only thing you need to hear. But when he’s better, he’s going to hear from me.”

  “You and me both. I assure you.”

  “Other than the stupid-man syndrome, how is he?” she asked.

  “About the same. He can get up and down on his own now, and he’s experienced a few sensory indicators here and there, but for the most part, he’s still trying to get himself back to normal. He’s exhausting himself and it’s been so hard watching him like this.”

  “I guess that’s why he doesn’t want you to see it,” she said. April looked at me, sympathy in her big doe eyes.

  “I suppose,” I said as I tore a piece of bread. It was still too warm, so I let it cool before taking a bite.

  “So after the three interviews I have lined up, I’m up for anything,” she said, switching gears.

  “So you’re finally ready to leave your Pennsylvania life behind?”

  “Yup, I haven’t really been happy there in years.”

  “The family stuff?” I asked.

  “Same as always.”

  “Are things any better with them?” April’s dysfunctional family had been one of the many topics that initiated our friendship. She was the ever-hopeful thread that held them together, but playing mediator in the face of constant disarray took its toll on her, which is why she’d developed such a rigorous workout regimen. It was her stress reliever, and her body was the better for it. She looked amazing. She wanted a family, which was why she tried so hard to be the bandage on the many open wounds of the Jensen family. But now maybe she would have a chance at a family of her own.

  “Not really.” She smiled wryly and shook her head.

  “Guess it’s good you have us,” I said. “You’ll be a part of our family.”

  “How is that any better than the weird-ass family I have?” she asked.

  I laughed. “Well, it’s not much better, but we’ll have each other.”

  “I’m so glad you feel that way.”

  “I’m not going to lie. What you did hurt me so badly. I not only saw it as the worst possible betrayal of our friendship—I saw it as though you were taking away Lyric’s chance of a happy childhood. And I didn’t think I could ever forgive that.”

  “But you have?” she asked.

  “Yes. And not only because it all worked out, because it very well could not have, but because I know you would never do anything to hurt me. And you’d never remove my choices unless you knew something I didn’t know. You knew there was a hole inside me where Aiden had been. You saw it every time you looked at me.”

  “I did,” she said. “And I see it now. Something inside you was missing then … and even now. The light—the energy that’s a natural part of you—was gone. And I knew Aiden was the only person who could flip that switch.”

  “But you knew my reasons for not telling him,” I said.

  “I did. But what you didn’t know is when I spoke with him and told him you’d had a child with someone else, something inside him dimmed also. I’d heard it in his voice. My heart broke for both of you. After my trip to Belize, I called Aiden and told him I needed to see him. I didn’t want to tell him anything over the phone. And plus, I wanted to get a better read on him before I said a word about Lyric’s true paternity. And when I told him, you should have seen him, Aria. His eyes lit up and he was smiling as if he’d just been given the grandest of all prizes. If he was as opposed to kids as you’d said, he wouldn’t have reacted like that. And if I’d had any indication that he was the anti-father you’d thought, I would have never risked Lyric’s happiness that way. I never would have said a word.”

  “Why didn’t you call me and tell me what you thought before actually doing it?”

  She swallowed a spoonful of soup and replied. “Because of the very reason we said a few minutes ago. You’re stubborn. You wouldn’t have seen anything but what you wanted to see. And I knew how much growing up without a father damaged you. You didn’t want that for your son.”

  “Thank you, April. But don’t ever do that again.”

  “I won’t. I promise.”

  “Even if you feel it’s for my good?” I asked.

  “Even then. I’ll just keep bugging you until you cave,” she added with a smile.

  I’d once thought our relationship would never be the same again, but I had hopes that it would be. It was okay to need her and it was okay for her to need me. And yes, it was even okay for us to make mistakes.

  “And one more thing. Stop looking at me like you feel sorry for me. It’s been horrible. Every bit of it, but the only thing that kept me sane is the knowledge that Aiden and I will get past this. It really is going to be okay.”

  “I admire you,” she said.

  “For what?”

  “You’ve really come full ci
rcle. I mean, a couple of years ago, you would never have even let a guy call you on the phone, let alone have his child, marry him, and go through so much with him. But here you are, strong and confident in your future with Aiden despite the fact he’s being a total ass.”

  “What can I say, April?” I shrugged. “I love him. And in his own backwards way, he’s trying to protect me. He doesn’t want me to see him like this. And he doesn’t want me to feel trapped. Which is crazy. I don’t care if he ever walks again, I’m not leaving. And when he finally accepts that truth, he and I will be fine. And then I’m gonna kick his ass for putting us through this.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Aiden and I were still living apart, and with the exception of a phone call about Lyric’s checkup, we hadn’t spoken. I hadn’t seen him in over a week; notes or messages via Dianna had been the extent of our communication. I had no idea of his end game, and I’d arrived to a point where I no longer tried to figure it out. He was foolish to think his actions made anything better for either of us. And quite frankly, I’d grown tired of trying to convince him of that.

  Can you bring Lyric over today?

  Unexpected. Very unexpected. A text from Aiden. As a matter of fact, it was so out of character that I briefly considered ignoring it. Briefly.