In Search of Love

by Christine Lynxwiler

  Casting a glance to where Matthew and Juan stood about twenty feet or so away, he shook his head. “I’ll tell you later.”

  Just as had happened earlier, one look at her sad expression, and he knew what she was thinking. “Unless you’re thinking there might not be a later for us.”

  Her attempt at a laugh fell flat. “Why do you say that?”

  “Are you leaving?”

  “Cade.” She gently touched his arm. “Let’s don’t talk about this right now. Not here.” The pain was evident in her brown eyes. The sun glinted off the gold flecks, and he remembered the first day he’d met her. He’d thought the golden highlights in her beautiful chocolate eyes were buried treasure. Then he’d decided they were secrets that would end up causing him pain. How right he’d been. He shook her hand off his arm and turned to the boys. “We’d better get these fish cleaned if we’re going to make it to Jack Rock Hole before dark, guys.”

  Juan and Tim grumbled a little at having to surrender their poles, but all three boys stared with interest when Cade pulled out his pocketknife and began teaching them how to clean fish.

  In spite of his earlier exasperation with her, he couldn’t help but grin when Annalisa turned her back on the messy proceedings. His mother had always helped clean the fish, but his genteel grandmother had done the same as this brunette beauty and ignored the procedure.

  He allowed each boy a carefully supervised turn with the knife, then took it back to filet the meat, separating it from the bones.

  As he finished, he snuck a peek at Annalisa, who continued to studiously ignore them while she brushed Bubba’s shoul­ders. “You’re going to spoil that horse rotten,” he called.

  “I’m nice to him. He’s nice to me,” she retorted. “It’s a give-and-take relationship.”

  “Well, it’s time for him to give again, because we’re head­ing out.” He packed the fish in the small cooler and showed Juan where to dump the remains, explaining to the boys the difference between litter and fertilizer.

  They mounted the horses and headed up the trail. Since the path was very distinct, Annalisa led the way, with the boys in the middle, and Cade bringing up the rear. Five minutes away from the pond, Tim slowed down to ride beside Cade. “How much longer?”

  Cade guffawed and then laughed harder at Tim’s puzzled expression.

  Annalisa stopped Bubba. “What’s so funny?” she called.

  “I’m turning into my dad. Tim just asked me how much longer.”

  She grinned broadly. “Don’t you imagine kids asked that even in wagon trains?”

  “I guess. I always thought it was a car thing.”

  “Uh... Mr. Cade?”

  “Yeah, Timbo?”

  “Does that mean you don’t know how much longer?”

  ***

  Juan skipped another rock across the rolling water. “. . .three. . . four. . .five. Five times! That one went five times.”

  Annalisa grinned as Tim stealthily moved along the water’s edge, obviously scoping out just the right rock. A look of pleasure crossed his face just before he bent and snatched up the stone. He slung it, but it kerplunked into the water just like the hundred other brave stones that had passed through the seven year old’s hand in the last half hour.

  He kicked at the rocky beach, then turned his pleading gaze back to Juan. “Show me again.”

  Annalisa watched the play of emotions across the teen’s face. Disgust at being bothered by a baby warred with the delight of being looked up to. Delight won, and Annalisa did a mental Yes! as Juan patiently demonstrated again how to hold the flat stone.

  She leaned back in the lawn chair. The early evening sky swirled into a panorama of reds and yellows and blues that was reminiscent of this morning’s sunrise. God’s power had been proven many times over in the events of today. She could see these three boys changing before her eyes.

  Looking over to where Cade helped Matthew build a rock house on the shore, she couldn’t be sure whose grin was broader. Matthew had smiled more today than he had in the whole time he’d been at the ranch. Now, if only he would talk.

  Tears stung her eyes as she remembered what Cade had told her about Matthew. A car wreck had claimed the lives of his parents, and he’d had no relatives who’d been willing to take him. It had been impossible to place him in an adoptive home, because since the night of the accident, he hadn’t spo­ken a word. The doctors had examined him and found no physical reason for his muteness. His counselor had chalked it up to extreme emotional trauma and concluded he would have to come back to talking on his own.

  Cade had asked her to pray about it, and she would—even after she was gone. She might not be around to see the end result, but she had faith that God would allow Matthew to find the peace he needed to be able to speak again.

  The thought of leaving Cade and the boys caused her chest to tighten. She sat up straight and pushed herself to her feet. Sometimes it was better not to relax.

  I’m coming, Amy.

  Chapter Eleven

  The delicious aroma of grilled fish drifted down the path to greet the firewood-toting bunch. Cade’s stomach rumbled, and he picked up the pace.

  “That smells wonderful!” He dumped his armload of wood in the designated campfire spot. “What are we having besides fish?”

  “Corn on the cob and vegetables, all fresh off the grill. Plus some cornbread muffins I made up before we came.” Annalisa’s hair was pulled up in a pert ponytail cascading down her back in curls. Her freshly-scrubbed face shone like a child’s.

  Inexorably drawn by either the mouth-watering smell or the lovely brunette, Cade moved over to the grill area. Unfortu-nately, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out which attracted him the most. How could she look so perfect after a long hot day on the trail?

  “Any chance you could spare a drink for a poor, thirsty laborer?”

  With her hand on her hip, she cocked one eyebrow and waved the spatula at him. “Would it get you started on that campfire any sooner?”

  “Definitely.” He smiled at her mock severity.

  “Well, then, I guess I’d better let you have it. We were hop­ing to roast marshmallows for dessert.” She reached into a satchel and pulled out a collapsible juice pouch with a straw. “Hope you’re not too picky. It’s not exactly cold.”

  “Thanks. I can handle lukewarm juice.” He peeled the straw off the side and unwrapped it. “But in certain things I guess I could be considered picky.”

  He turned and walked over to start the campfire. His family had always called him picky when it came to the opposite sex. Now that he’d met Annalisa, he realized what he’d been waiting for.

  ***

  The glow of the campfire illuminated four sticky, happy male faces as Annalisa shoved the last bite of marshmallow in her mouth. Cade leaned over and wiped her face with his own damp paper towel. “You must have been a Girl Scout. I’d have never thought of giving everybody a wet paper towel.”

  “Nope, I’m not a Girl Scout, just a very messy eater when it comes to roasted marshmallows. . .as you noticed.”

  “Hey! Watch this!” Tim scooped three marshmallows at once off his stick and shoved them in his mouth.

  “Watch this!” Not about to be outdone by a little kid, Juan held his stick up. Five burned marshmallows sagged down from it. He held it up over his mouth and tried to eat them off before they fell to the ground. Just as he got the fourth one in his already full mouth, the last one drizzled into his black hair. “Eww! Gross!”

  “Was that as sticky as Old Sweetie’s kiss?” Cade drawled.

  “Very funny.” Juan gave his hair an ineffective swipe with his moist napkin, but Annalisa noticed, instead of getting mad, he grinned. “How am I gonna get this off me?”

  “Come over here.” Cade stood up and walked over to the bucket, which Annalisa had put some clean river water in for washing. “Bend over.” He filled the long-handled ladle and poured the water over Juan’s head. Juan came up swinging
water from his hair like a dog. Everyone except Matthew laughed, and Annalisa thought she might have heard a chuckle from him.

  “Whoa, Buddy.” Cade offered the bar soap. Juan snatched it from his hand and lathered up his hair. “We’ll be done in a minute.” As soon as Juan had a good lather, Cade poured clean water to rinse, then handed him a towel.

  “Juan’s playing beauty shop,” Tim called, pointing and laughing.

  “Oh, yeah?” Juan’s eyes sparked anger for a second, then he smiled. “At least I don’t have no sticky hair anymore. Thanks, Mr. Cade.”

  “No problem.” He slung his arm across Juan’s shoulder, and they walked back over to the campfire.

  Cade’s patience with these boys astonished Annalisa. Her own father would have probably smacked her for getting marshmallow in her hair. Or at least made her wear the gooey mess the rest of the night.

  “Let’s all get washed up and ready for bed, then I want us to talk about something.” Cade herded the boys over to the wash bucket, then poured them each some drinking water in a cup to brush their teeth with.

  When they’d gathered around the fire again, Cade stood up. “We’re going to do a little experiment.”

  The firelight revealed the curiosity in all three boys’ eyes.

  “First, I need a volunteer.”

  Three hands shot up in the air.

  “Juan, come on up here.”

  Juan tossed a victorious smile to the younger boys and sauntered up to where Cade stood.

  “Turn around and face them.” Juan turned around toward Annalisa and the other boys.

  Cade stood about two feet behind him. “Fall straight back.”

  “What?” Juan swung around to face Cade.

  “Come on now, you volunteered.” He pivoted Juan for­ward. “Look straight ahead and fall backward.”

  Juan turned around, and Annalisa almost laughed at the look of concentration on his face. “Aw, man. I can’t.”

  “Sure you can. You know I’ll catch you, don’t you?”

  “Yeah, I guess, but. . .”

  “I’ll catch you. Now, fall.”

  “Okay, here goes nuthin’.” Juan suddenly looked younger than his thirteen years. He squeezed his eyes shut and fell backward into Cade’s arms.

  Cade caught him gently and then lifted him back to stand­ing. Relief radiated from Juan’s face. “That was sort of fun.” Cade held up his hand, and Juan gave him a big high-five.

  “I’m glad. Now go sit down before your legs give way.”

  “My legs hold me up just fine. I ain’t no scaredy-cat.” As Juan strolled back to his chair, careful to maintain his cool, Cade winked at Annalisa. She put her hand over her mouth to cover her grin.

  “Matthew, you want to give it a try?”

  Matthew nodded and jumped from his chair and ran up to Cade. Before the man said anything, Matthew turned around and faced the boys and Annalisa, standing a couple of feet in front of Cade.

  Cade squared himself with his eager volunteer and held out his arms. “Okay, Matthew, fall straight back.”

  The red-haired boy didn’t hesitate like Juan had done. Cade caught him easily and set him back upright. Matthew’s grin split his freckled face, and he energetically returned Cade’s high-five and scurried back to his chair.

  Before Matthew was in his seat, Tim was standing in front of Cade, immediately falling back in his arms. Cade scooped him up and swung him around while his shrieks of delight echoed through the hills. Out of breath and laughing, Cade put the child down and gently pointed him to his chair.

  When everyone was seated again, Cade’s smiling face grew solemn. “Juan?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Why did you trust me to catch you?”

  “ ’Cause you said you would?”

  “Yes, but, hasn’t anyone ever told you they’d do something and then not done it?”

  Juan dropped his head. “Sure have.”

  “So did you trust them next time?”

  “Nah.” He half-mumbled the answer.

  “Then why did you know I’d catch you?”

  Juan looked up and his black eyes glittered in the firelight. “ ’Cause you ain’t never let us down yet.”

  Annalisa could see Cade fighting to suppress the urge to correct Juan’s English, but she applauded his restraint. This wasn’t the time for grammar lessons.

  “I hope I haven’t. So, in other words, we wouldn’t fall back with someone behind us if we didn’t know they’d catch us, would we?”

  Matthew shook his head vigorously.

  “Uh-uh,” Tim said.

  “No way!” Juan chimed in.

  “What about if somebody you don’t know, or do know but don’t trust. . .” Cade said each word deliberately, and Annalisa knew he was willing the boys to let the message sink in. “. . .tries to get you to do something dangerous, like take drugs or ride in a hot car?”

  “I wouldn’t,” Tim piped up, and Annalisa suppressed a smile at his earnestness.

  “Me either.” Juan’s voice wasn’t perky like Tim’s, but he sounded like he was firm on the subject.

  Matthew shook his head.

  “Boys, you make me proud. You’re some of the smartest boys I know.” Cade sank back down in his lawn chair. “I’ve got one more question for you, though. What if I was standing behind you about to catch you and a snake bit my leg or a panther jumped on my back?” Tim gasped, and Annalisa appreciated Cade’s quick change. “Or a squirrel fell out of the tree and landed right on my head?”

  Tim giggled.

  “I imagine you’d drop us,” Juan offered.

  “I imagine I might very well do that, Juan. It wouldn’t be my fault, but the ground would be just as hard and hurt just as bad. Wouldn’t it?”

  “Uh-huh.” All three boys nodded.

  “So even if a person is someone you can trust, you can’t trust them completely, can you?” They shook their heads. “Why not?”

  “Because a squirrel might fall on their head.” Tim extended his fingers and squeezed the top of his head, crossing his eyes.

  After the laughter died down, Cade nodded. “That’s right. Something out of their control could make them not trustwor­thy, because they’re human. I want to share with you guys one of my favorite Bible verses. It tells us there’s someone we can always trust in. . . Someone we can depend on even more than we do ourselves.”

  “God!” Tim called out.

  Cade smiled at the boy. “Yep, that’s right, Timbo. I’m glad to see George’s Bible lessons are paying off. This particular les­son comes from the book of Proverbs, chapter three, verses five and six. This is what it says, ‘Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.’ ”

  Annalisa felt her throat clog with emotion. Had she been allowing God to direct her path? Surely it was His will that she find her sister, wasn’t it?

  “In other words, if you trust God and count on Him and let it be known that’s what you’re doing, He’ll show you how to go.”

  “What if a squirrel falls on his head?”

  “Don’t be silly!” Juan shook his head. “Nothing can hurt God or keep Him from being there to catch you.”

  “Not even a wildcat?”

  Juan shook his head. “Not even a snake.”

  Tears filled Annalisa’s eyes, and when she met Cade’s gaze, even in the firelight, she could tell his were moist, as well.

  No one spoke for a minute, then Cade cleared his throat. “Jesus loves me, this I know. . .”

  The boys and Annalisa joined in, and the chorus of the old familiar song rang out through the dark night. Annalisa’s heart was so full it felt like it would burst.

  “Let’s pray.” They all bowed and, for a second, all that could be heard were the crickets chirping. “Father, Thank You for this day. We’ve had so much fun, and we know that with­out You, none of this would have happened. Lord, please be with each o
f these boys—Juan, Matthew, and Tim. Help them to grow up strong and brave in Your service, trusting always in You, and allowing You to direct their paths. Please be with Annalisa and help her find the peace she seeks. And be with me, Lord, in everything I do. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

  Even the boys seemed subdued, but content, as they all qui­etly put the fire out and used the lantern to light their way while they got settled in the tents. Once everyone was in bed and a whole string of good nights had been said, Annalisa contemplated the many sides of Cade McFadden until she finally drifted off to sleep.

  ***

  Annalisa opened her eyes. The shadowy material above her face looked unfamiliar, but the cry that had jarred her from a sound sleep was very real. She sat up, desperately trying to get her bearings. Cade’s camping trip—she was in a tent. She glanced at Tim, who lay in his sleeping bag next to her. The seven-year-old hadn’t protested when he’d been assigned to her tent. She’d been afraid he’d think it was babyish, espe­cially since the other two boys were sleeping in the tent with Cade. Had the embarrassment caused Tim to have a bad dream?

  His long lashes swept across his cheeks, and her heart con­tracted at the thought of him having nightmares. But his even breathing seemed to show no evidence of distress. She sat, listening to the crickets, with the sleeping bag bunched around her waist. She’d brought a lightweight jogging suit to sleep in, and she’d been warm when they’d first gone to bed, but now a cool breeze was blowing through the screen door.

  Another yell broke through her thoughts. She took one more look at Tim, who still appeared to be sleeping soundly, then jumped up and unzipped the door. She slipped her feet into her beach sandals and hurried the few inches to Cade’s tent. He’d laughed at her for insisting they be so close but, unused to sleeping outside, she hadn’t cared.

  “Cade? Are the boys okay?” She whispered, just in case anyone was a sound sleeper and hadn’t awakened in all the commotion.