In Search of Love

by Christine Lynxwiler

  Silence.

  “Cade!” Horrible visions of a wild beast breaking into the tent ran through her mind, then she put her hand over her mouth as she realized he would have had to zip the door back behind him after pulling out the three campers.

  “NO! Stop! Don’t run!” Cade yelled the words from inside the tent.

  Annalisa jumped back from the door. As the loud commands faded into the night, nothing but the crickets sounded in the inky darkness. “Cade?” She didn’t bother with a whisper.

  “Annalisa?” Cade’s groggy voice didn’t resemble the pan­icked tones of a moment before.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah.” A long pause followed. “I guess. Are you?”

  “Yeah. You feel like talking for a few minutes?” She hated to just ask him about the dreams, but she knew from personal experience that if he went back to sleep right now the dream was likely to pick back up where it had left off.

  “Sure, if you want to.”

  “Are Juan and Matthew still asleep?”

  “Yeah.”

  She heard a rustling sound and then the zipper of the tent door. In spite of the situation, she couldn’t help but smile at his dark hair standing on end. Her grin abruptly faded when she realized she must look at least as rumpled. She was thank­ful for the semi-darkness.

  He took her elbow and guided her to the lawn chairs they’d set up earlier along the small bluff overlooking the river. She sank down into her chair and shivered.

  “Here.” His voice, still husky from sleep, echoed across the river. He handed her a lap quilt.

  “Thanks for thinking of that. Now who’s the Girl Scout? Oops, I mean Boy Scout.” She smiled and wrapped the blan­ket around her shoulders. They sat in silence looking at the moonlight dappling the water.

  “Annalisa. . .what woke you up?”

  She stared at him. The silver light reflecting in his eyes made them inscrutable. “Why?”

  “You know, don’t you?” He turned his head and stared at the water. The moments ticked by, but she didn’t know what to say. Finally he spoke again. “You heard me having a nightmare.”

  “I thought it was one of the boys.”

  “But when you figured out it was me, you wanted me to get up and come out here so it wouldn’t start again.”

  “Yes.” She reached over and slid her hand into his. “I thought you could use a friend.”

  “Thanks.” He squeezed her hand then turned it over, making little circles on her palm with his thumb. “You were right.”

  “Want to talk about the dream?”

  He cleared his throat. “It’s always different, but always the same. A child, usually a boy, is in some kind of terrible dan­ger, and it’s up to me to save him.”

  “Do you?”

  He rubbed his hand down his face and didn’t speak for sev­eral seconds. “No.”

  “Have you been having these dreams ever since Joey’s dad killed himself?”

  “Yes, off and on. When I first moved to the ranch, they stopped, but then. . .”

  “Then I came?”

  “I’m not sure that’s why they started back.”

  “I wanted you to find Amy, and you felt like your absolu­tion was over. So the dreams started again.” His angry reac­tion the night she’d asked him to help her made more sense. “I’m sorry, Cade. I understand now why you can’t help me. I won’t ask you again.”

  Even as she said the words, the end of the road rushed up to meet her. She couldn’t stay at the Circle-M, seeking her own happiness, anymore. Tears filled her eyes at the thought.

  He stood and pulled her to her feet. Fireflies flitted through the night sky and intermingled with the innumerable stars that decorated the canopy of heaven. When he gathered her in his arms, she relaxed against him and hid her face in his shirt.

  “Hey, now. If I wanted my shirt wet, I’d have jumped in the river.” His soft voice sent shivers down her spine.

  She leaned back and met his gaze. “Sorry.”

  “You know I was kidding you.” He caressed her cheek with his thumb. “I’d take your tears over river water any day.” She started to speak, and he shook his head. “Wait. That didn’t come out exactly like I meant it.”

  “Oh, really? I thought you were saying you’d rather make me cry than go on a fun float trip.”

  “Actually I’d rather make you laugh tonight and take you on a fun float trip tomorrow. How about it?”

  “Sounds like a deal I can’t refuse.”

  “I know just how to seal the bargain.” His thumb moved to her lower lip.

  “What?” She looked at him to see what he was talking about, then shivered again as his mouth lowered to hers. Cade’s kiss was everything Annalisa had come to expect of him—strong and sweet. She’d never felt so safe, yet there was nothing brotherly about this embrace. Love washed over her in great rushing waves.

  He pulled back, and they stared at each other as the river babbled beside them. With a poignant smile, he released her. “Get some sleep. We both need to get some rest if we’re going to corral those boys on the river tomorrow.”

  “Good night, Cade.”

  They walked a little distance apart from each other back to the tents. When they reached the doors, he spoke one more time in a whisper. “Annalisa. . .”

  “Yeah?”

  “Thanks for waking me up.”

  She couldn’t speak around the lump in her throat, so she nodded and groped for the door zipper through a fresh blur of tears.

  He reached over and unzipped it for her, then quickly un-fastened his own door and went inside.

  She nestled back into her sleeping bag and tried to ignore her trembling arms and legs. She prayed for a long time, then, mindful of the other campers so close, shed silent tears until sleep finally overtook her.

  Chapter Twelve

  Cade had gotten up before good daylight to take the horses to the pen a few miles down river. The trip there had been quick, riding Duke and leading the others, but the journey back had taken longer than he expected. He probably should have left Annalisa and the boys a note.

  Too late to worry about that now, he thought, as he approached the camp. The smell of bacon and eggs frying made his mouth water. Annalisa had her back to him and once again, he was struck by her graceful movements. From the silence, he surmised the three boys were still asleep. She prob­ably hadn’t even realized he was gone.

  His mischievous streak kicked into overdrive, and he tip­toed to his tent. He squatted down facing her and fastened the zipper loudly. She spun around to look at him, and he stood up and stretched.

  “Good morning.” He covered his mouth as if to yawn.

  “Good morning, Sleepyhead. I’ve never known you to sleep so late.”

  “This fresh air does strange things to a person,” Cade said.

  “I guess.”

  “Hey!” Cade strove for a surprised tone. “Where are the horses?”

  Annalisa looked up from the skillet. “Oh. I don’t know. Maybe they got tired of hanging around.” She bent over to dig in the satchel bag for something.

  “Annalisa!” Cade couldn’t keep the exasperation from his voice. “Did you understand? I said the horses are gone.”

  “Yeah, I heard you.” She barely glanced up from buttering bread.

  He was stunned by her reaction, or lack thereof, to be more specific. Somehow he’d expected much, much more. “Don’t you care about the horses?”

  “Sure I do. As a matter of fact, why don’t you go look for them? I’ll save you some breakfast.”

  “Aargh. . .” He sat down in the lawn chair and shook his head. “I can’t believe you. I thought you’d be worried.”

  “Worried?” She looked up and winked. “When I saw you on Duke leading the others away before dawn? What’s to worry about?”

  He sprang to his feet. “In all these years, my brothers have never gotten the best of me when I played a joke on them. But it didn’t take you five m
inutes to have me ready to pull my hair out.”

  She threw back her long mane of hair and laughed. “I’m sorry for disappointing you.”

  Cade knew he should have been disappointed, but he was secretly delighted that she’d turned the tables on him. “That’s okay. It had to happen sometime. Better you than Clint or Jake or especially Holt.”

  “I didn’t do anything special, Cade. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time.”

  “I’m starting to think that’s the secret of happiness.” He realized again how thankful he was that she’d come along to his place at this particular time in his life.

  Annalisa laid the food out on plates. “So, did you take the horses somewhere just to play an elaborate prank or is there a method to your madness?”

  Cade glanced heavenward in mock despair. “Now, she’s interested.” They laughed together. “Actually, I had a reason. . . I was trying to make it easy on us. When we inflate the rafts and put all of our stuff in them, we can float down the river a few miles and the horses will be waiting for us in a pen at the end of the line.”

  “There’s an ingenious idea. I guess I hadn’t really thought about what we’d do after we got downstream.”

  “Good thing one of us thinks ahead,” he said.

  She snorted. “Where would we be without you, Cade McFadden?”

  “Is Mr. Cade going somewhere?” Tim’s voice sounded sleepy and a little fearful.

  “No!” Cade held out his arms and the boy ran into his embrace. “Lord willing, I’m here to stay.” As he wrapped his arms around the child, he prayed that he could be a permanent fixture in Tim’s life. When he glanced up again at the smiling brunette, he couldn’t help but attach an addendum to the prayer.

  He stood up and clasped Tim’s hand. “Let’s go wake up Juan and Matthew.” As they approached the tents, Cade held his finger to his lips. “Shh. . .” He squatted beside the tent and made a whistle sound. “Bob-white! Bob-white!”

  Tim bit back a giggle.

  “Somebody turn the volume down!” Juan’s groggy voice drifted out of the tent.

  Cade, Tim, and Annalisa laughed so loudly that Juan un-zipped the door, and, along with Matthew, stuck his head out.

  “I guess we know who will be the last ones in the river,” Cade said.

  Juan grabbed Matthew’s arm and pulled him back, then quickly zipped the tent door. Less than three minutes later, both boys emerged, fully clothed and grinning.

  The boys made a much better audience than Annalisa had for Cade’s missing horses gag, but before they could get upset, he reassured them. After eating a hasty breakfast, the campers broke camp and piled all the camping gear in a neat pile for George to retrieve later. They applied sunblock and aired up the small rubber rafts. Everyone but Tim had his or her own boat.

  Social Services had assured him that all three boys were proficient swimmers, and he knew their life jackets were fas­tened tightly, but he still felt more comfortable keeping the youngest with him. His heart swelled when, instead of grum­bling at the arrangements, Tim pumped his fist in the air with a big “Yahoo!”

  Cade headed over to where Annalisa stood at the edge of the water. In a motion becoming familiar to him, she swooped up her mass of curls and swirled them into a twist, securing it with a big clippie thing. She then gave considerable attention to the fasteners on her life jacket.

  “You nervous?”

  She looked up. “Who me?”

  “Uh-oh. I knew I should have asked other questions besides, ‘Do you swim?’ Is your swimming experience comparable to your horseback-riding experience?”

  “Not hardly,” she said, with a chuckle. “I really can swim. I’m even certified to rescue someone if need be.”

  “Then why are you triple-checking your life jacket fasten­ers?”

  She offered a rueful grin. “I’ve never swum except in a pool. I’m a little apprehensive about rafting.”

  “This is nothing like you see on television. We’ll be lucky if we see any white water at all. Holes of water where the speed of the water moderately increases are about all the rap­ids we get on Fourche River.”

  She looked thoughtfully out over the gently rolling water. “Let’s just call them not-quite-so-slows instead of rapids, okay? I think that would make me feel better.”

  He laughed. “For you, Annalisa Davis—anything.”

  ***

  The nose of the navy blue and red rubber raft dipped down in the water and scooped up a spray of cold liquid onto Annalisa. “Whoa!” Her stomach had dipped as well, but the sensation wasn’t entirely unpleasant, especially considering she’d man­aged to stay upright through the small rapid.

  “Uh, Annalisa,” Cade called from his nearby raft. “ ‘Whoa’ only works with horses.”

  “Now you tell me. Why didn’t you add that in with your little speech about technical things like going toward the open vees of water and avoiding the points of closed vees?”

  “I guess it slipped my mind.”

  She grinned at the picture he and Tim made—working together to keep the little boat moving. Juan and Matthew were in their own rafts on either side of Cade. She was bring­ing up the rear.

  They’d come through three little areas of white water, but following Cade’s simple direction, no one had been in the water. From the way Juan continued to rock his boat, though, Annalisa figured the teen was ready to get wet.

  Since she’d cleared the rapids, they set off again at a lei­surely pace, floating through a wide, deep hole of water. The boys paddled, but Cade wouldn’t allow them to get too far ahead. They’d advance a little, then turn and paddle back upstream to reach the others.

  Annalisa leaned back against the cushioned pillow of her raft. Gigantic leafy trees lined the banks of the river. Their limbs almost interlocked in a canopy over the water, leaving only a small space of blue sky peeking out of the green foli­age. She closed her eyes and soaked up the peace. Crickets sang up and down the banks, and the only other sound was the lapping of the water at the side of her boat and the occasional swish of Juan or Matthew’s paddles in the water.

  Drip, drip, drip. Frowning, she opened one eye. It was sup­posed to be sunny all day. The sky looked blue with only an occasional white cloud drifting by. But she had felt a light sprinkle. She glanced at Cade and Tim. They had their backs to her, seeming to be fascinated by a leaf floating in the water. Juan and Matthew were paddling over to take a look.

  She closed her eyes again. Drip, drip, drip. She decided to ignore it. Suddenly, a huge splash of water landed in her face. She opened both eyes and jumped up to sitting. All the boys had their backs turned, but Cade’s shoulders were shaking.

  “Cade McFadden!” Her yell rang out through the bluffs.

  He turned around, the picture of innocence, other than the grin that tugged at the corner of his handsomely chiseled mouth. “Yes?”

  “Something about this river turns you into a kid, doesn’t it?”

  His grin burst forth, unrestrained. “Yes, Ma’am, I suppose it does. You think we’ve discovered the fountain of youth?”

  Juan laughed and Tim joined in.

  “I sincerely doubt it.” In spite of her wet face and hair, she couldn’t stay mad at him when he looked so boyish and relaxed. He’d carried the world on his shoulders far too long. “Why? Were you thinking I needed a double dose of the foun­tain of youth? Particularly on my face?”

  “Now, Annalisa, you know better than that. You already look like a teenager.”

  “Are we almost back to the horses? Now this water’s not only affecting your actions but your eyesight, as well.”

  “I beg to differ, but as a matter of fact, we have one more section of rapids up ahead, then we’ll be at the pen where the horses are.”

  Juan and Tim groaned, and Matthew looked crestfallen.

  “Aren’t you boys getting hungry?” Cade asked.

  “No!”

  “Huh-uh.”

  “Tell yo
u what,” Annalisa offered, “when we get to the horses, could the boys swim a bit while I fix the sandwiches?”

  “Yeah!”

  “YIPPEE!”

  Cade grinned at her. “I suppose that wouldn’t hurt anything.”

  The last rapid was upon them, and Cade and Tim prepared to lead the way. “Juan,” Cade called to the teen, who was still rocking his boat from side to side. “Let’s try to stay dry until we get to the swimming hole.”

  Annalisa expected Juan to argue, but he neatly swooshed his raft through the white water and waited calmly beside Cade and Tim for her and Matthew. He’d definitely come a long way.

  They all pulled their boats up to the shore, and the boys leaped out into the water. Annalisa was determined not to get wet, since she’d made it this far. She eased to standing. Cade reached out a hand to help her, but she didn’t step quite high enough to clear the tubed edge of the raft. Instead of leaping gracefully onto the beach, she tumbled into Cade’s arms.

  “Look!” Tim’s high voice echoed across the water. “Annalisa trusts Mr. Cade.”

  Cade, his face mere inches from hers and his arms around her tightly, raised one eyebrow. “Is that true?”

  She felt heat creep up her cheeks. “Yes, I suppose it is.”

  “I’m glad.” He gave her one quick squeeze and released her.

  Heart thudding, she hurried up to the horses, with the others trailing behind her. The animals were glad to see them. Bubba, in particular, whinnied at Annalisa as she fixed the sandwiches. She was going to miss him when she went.

  And he was the least of her heartaches. Suddenly, she real­ized Cade wasn’t the only one who’d let the river take his troubles for awhile. She hadn’t given one thought to leaving Circle-M while they were floating. Now that her feet were back on solid ground, and they were about to head back to the ranch, it was time to face the inevitable again.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The five horseback riders topped the final hill. The Circle-M homestead sprawled in front of them. In unspoken agreement, they paused, gazing down at the intricate arrangement of buildings that dotted the rugged landscape. Cade twisted in his saddle to examine the expressions of his traveling compan­ions.