Blackout

by Dani Matthews

  “Right here!”

  A hand waves, and I recognize Emma and Mason lounging on a blanket. Sarah, Emma’s best friend, also happens to be with them. I walk over, relived to see familiar faces. Sarah, Emma, and Mason are part of Quinn’s and my outer circle of friends.

  “Sit with us,” Emma urges. She’s reclined in Mason’s arms, her back to his chest. They’ve been dating for years, and I’ve always envied their relationship.

  I settle on the blanket near Sarah and smile as I greet them.

  Emma tucks her sleek, blonde hair behind her ear, her friendly eyes focusing on my bandaged arm. “We heard what happened.”

  Mason’s brows furrow with concern. “You okay?”

  “I’m fine, it’s just a small cut,” I tell them, downplaying the severity of it.

  Sarah frowns, and in the dancing firelight, her eyes look troubled. “It’s so weird. Between what happened to Carrie, and now you, this place doesn’t feel quite as safe as it used to.”

  “It was never all that safe. Shit happens all over,” Mason points out as the flames from the bonfire glints in his blond hair.

  Emma reaches up and swats him across the shoulder. “Mason,” she admonishes.

  He tightens his grip on her and nuzzles her neck. “I’ll keep you safe, babe.”

  “Of course, you will,” she says with a grin.

  Sarah pulls out a rubber band and begins pulling her long, dark hair into a ponytail as she rolls her eyes at me. “If my name weren’t Sarah, it’d be ‘third wheel.’”

  I can sympathize with her, because it’s how I feel when Quinn spies a guy she’s interested in.

  Mason playfully reaches for Sarah, tugging her towards Emma and him. “You can always join us,” he teases.

  Sarah’s nose wrinkles, and she pushes away from him. “Ew.”

  Emma laughs, snuggling closer to Mason. “Relax. I’d never willingly share him.”

  Mason peers down at Emma, catching her gaze with his own as his expression turns serious. “You never have to worry about that,” he vows.

  All this mushiness is beginning to bring my mood down. I wish I had what they have. Rarely do I have someone to cuddle and drink with unless the night’s going to end with me in his bed. I miss having a steady guy in my life. It’d be nice to have someone to share my day with, to comfort me when I need it, to share my body with…someone to love.

  Sitting with Emma and Mason was a mistake.

  “I’m going to grab something to drink, so I’ll catch you guys later,” I say lightly, rising to my feet. Before they can protest, I walk away and try to hide my frown.

  I’m surrounded by people, and yet I feel incredibly…lonely. There’s a part of me that wants to drown my sorrows in alcohol, but I know that would be a huge mistake. Too much has happened lately for me to be acting foolish. Occasionally, it’s okay to take a break from the overthinking and analyzing I tend to do, but tonight isn’t the night.

  I’m not paying attention to where I’m going, and I’m passing by someone when they snag me by the waist, bringing me up short. “Whoa there, where you headed?”

  I tense until I recognize Rem’s voice, and I allow myself to relax as he pulls me close.

  His eyes search mine, and in the glow from the patio lights, I see him frowning. “Someone bothering you?” he immediately asks.

  I shake my head.

  He releases his hold on my waist and brings his hand up to my face, his thumb gently brushing across my lower lip. “Then why the frown?”

  His honest inquiry has me hesitating. Rem’s always been easy to be around, and though he’s usually playful with me, I know that anything I’d say would never be repeated. All the guys that I know have always been trustworthy—unless sex and emotions are involved.

  Rem must sense that I have something on my mind, and his arm slips around my waist once more. He begins leading me through the crowd to the other side of the patio where the lighting fades into the shadows. A patio swing is attached to an overhang, and as a couple vacates it, Rem quickly sweeps in and grabs it for us.

  As soon as I’m settled, he sits next to me and hands me his beer. “Here, you look like you need this more than I do.”

  I accept it and note that the bottle is still cold and mostly full. I’m not a fan of beer, but I take a sip anyway. “Thank you.”

  Rem lazily slouches next to me, and he uses his foot to make the swing rock gently. “How are you doing?”

  He’s referring to what happened Wednesday night, and I shrug, not really wanting to talk about it. “I’m fine and alive. Every reason to celebrate.”

  “But you’re not celebrating.”

  Do I really want to confess how lonely I am?

  Rem straightens, jostling the swing before he moves closer to me. His jean-clad thigh is pressing against my own, and his head tilts as his eyes try to zero in on mine in the darkness. “What’s wrong, Harper?” he asks, his tone serious.

  I’m beginning to feel foolish, and I take another drink of the beer. “It’s nothing,” I mutter.

  His warm hand settles on my thigh, just above my knee. “You’re not going anywhere until I know what’s bothering you.”

  The sensation of his hand on my bare skin sends tingles down my spine. It’s a reminder that I haven’t had sex in a long time, and my body aches for that kind of closeness with someone.

  I release a sigh and turn my head to meet Rem’s probing gaze. “I’m just feeling lonely,” I confess.

  Whatever confession Rem was expecting, it wasn’t that since his head cocks with surprise. “Come again?”

  “Everyone has someone, whether it’s serious or casual. I kind of feel like the odd one out here.” I don’t bother to confide that it’s not just the party that bothers me.

  “That can easily be rectified,” Rem states.

  It’s impossible to read his expression in the shadows. “What?”

  Instead of replying, his hand skims along my jawline, his fingers trailing over sensitive skin. His touch causes me to shiver, and then his head lowers so that his lips can brush across mine. He kisses me lightly, waiting to see if this is what I want.

  This wasn’t what I’d intended, but I begin returning his kiss without hesitation. Rem and I have never kissed before, but there’s been times that I’ve had the impression that he’d be willing to explore things with me. Though it’d only be for one night, because that’s the type of guy he is.

  His tongue sweeps into my mouth, and I tilt my head, allowing him further access. It feels so good to be sharing a kiss with someone, and I move closer as he turns on the swing, his arms slipping around me as he brings me up against his chest.

  Our tongues dance together, and my free hand settles on his warm chest as I enjoy his attention. His hand has slid down my side, and I playfully nip at his lip.

  Before I know what he’s doing, he shifts me so that my legs are draped across his lap, and he brings me closer to his side so that we’re both comfortable on the swing. I have no idea how long we sit there, lost in heated kisses.

  Rem’s lips pull away, and he rests his forehead on mine. “Come back with me,” he whispers.

  Reality begins to chase away the desire. Rem’s not close enough to Gabe to be concerned about moving in on his ex, but I know it wouldn’t sit well with Gabe. This is the very thing I’ve always been careful to avoid, because I don’t want to be that girl that messes with an ex’s friends. That just gets way too messy.

  I pull back from him and ease my legs off his lap. “It’s tempting, but I think I’m going to head home,” I say, keeping my tone light.

  His face isn’t clear in the lighting, but I can sense his disappointment. “Need a ride?” he asks, his tone similar to mine.

  I’ve already screwed up tonight, and I don’t want to drag it out further. “I’ll just call a cab.” I hold the beer out to him. “Thanks, Rem. I didn’t mean to…” What do I say? Sorry for sending mixed signals?

  Rem plucks the beer
out of my hand and sets it on the floor. Then, he rises to his feet, taking my hand and tugging me with him. “You’re not taking a cab. I’ll drive you, I insist.”

  “Thank you,” I say, giving in. Declining a second time would only succeed in offending him.

  He drapes his arm around my shoulders and escorts me through the crowd and down the street to his car. After what had happened Wednesday night, I stay close to his side, feeling uneasy. Rem must sense it, because he gives my shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

  When we reach his car, he opens the passenger door, and I slide in. The interior smells a bit like cigarettes, but it isn’t overwhelming enough to bother me. He climbs in and starts the car, pulling away from the curb.

  I glance at him. “Not drinking much this evening?” If I’d sensed he’d had a lot to drink before I’d arrived, I wouldn’t be sitting here.

  “Not tonight,” he says, not elaborating.

  I’m not going to press him about it, and I turn my head and look out my window as he drives. We’re both quiet, and when we turn into the neighborhood, I look at him. I owe him an apology. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to start something that I wasn’t going to finish.”

  He glances at me but doesn’t seem angry. As we pull into the wide driveway, the car’s headlights swing across the front of the house. After he puts the vehicle in park, he turns to face me. “I knew when I made the move to kiss you that it wouldn’t likely lead to my bed, but you can’t blame me for trying,” he says with a grin.

  I return his smile, feeling better about how the night is ending. “Thanks for understanding.”

  He leans over, and much to my surprise, his lips catch mine. I can’t resist him, and I willingly deepen the kiss and enjoy it. When a bright light sweeps over us, we pull back. Someone else has pulled into the driveway.

  Rem brushes a strand of hair away from my cheek. “No pressure. Just wanted to taste you one last time,” he murmurs.

  “You’re tempting, but I think we’re both looking for two different things,” I say, unable to hide my regret. Rem’s a very good-looking man. If it weren’t for Gabe…

  “That doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun,” he says in a suggestive tone.

  I shake my head and laugh. “Night, Rem.” I climb out of the car and close the door, giving him a brief wave before turning towards the house.

  Ash and Channing are standing beside their car, and they look surprised to see me.

  “Hi,” I say awkwardly. Had they seen us kissing?

  “Was that Rem?” Ash asks with interest.

  “He gave me a ride home,” I tell them, not bothering to explain where I’d been or why I’d been with him. There’s no point in making something out of nothing.

  Nine

  Gabe

  My shift starts at ten, so I force myself out of bed by nine so that I have time to shower and eat a full breakfast before the day begins. After I’m certain that my uniform is packed in my bag, I wander into the kitchen.

  It’s empty, no surprise there. It’s Sunday, and everyone was probably out late the night before, so the house is still sleeping. I set the bag on the island counter and move to refrigerator, digging through the items with my initials on them. I can’t predict what time I’ll be able to squeeze in a meal between calls, so I like to fill up as much as possible before my shift.

  I pull out the makings for an omelet and set the items on the counter by the stove. After cutting vegetables and ham, I begin to mix the eggs in a bowl before I pour them onto the griddle. As I carefully make certain the eggs spread to every corner, I think of Harper.

  The last time I’d made an omelet had been for her on Friday. I haven’t seen her since I’d brought up our past the other night, and I inwardly grimace. I’ve been kicking myself since, but it had to be done. We need to talk about what happened so that I can figure out how to get myself out of this mess.

  Channing wanders in, and I look at him with surprise. He looks to have just climbed out of bed, and his eyes still look half-closed. His hair is a mess, and he’s only wearing a pair of old sweatpants. He walks to the island counter and sits heavily onto the nearest stool.

  “What are you doing up?” I ask.

  He holds up a finger, signaling that he needs a minute longer to wake up.

  I smirk and turn to add the vegetables and ham to the omelet. Once the egg has been folded and everything is cooking, I walk to the refrigerator. I pull out orange juice and the large bowl of fruit that has my initials on it.

  A second later, I set a glass of juice in front of Channing and clap him on the shoulder. “You should have just stayed in bed.” He’d evidently had a late night with Ash.

  “Thanks,” Channing grunts. He reaches for the orange juice and takes a long drink.

  I move back to the counter and pull out a banana, an apple, a handful of grapes, and several strawberries. After tracking down the cutting board, I begin slicing the fruit for a salad.

  “I saw Harper and Rem together last night,” Channing says quietly.

  His announcement has me turning to look at him sharply. “What do you mean you saw them together?”

  Channing sighs and runs a hand over his jaw. “They were here, in his car. Kissing,” he adds, his gray eyes locked on mine.

  Jealousy hits me like a ton of bricks, and my fingers clench into fists as I process the information. Harper had likely been out with Seb, because where he is, Rem is usually close by. Damn it. Rem will fuck anyone, and with Harper looking as she does… I’d always worried that one of the guys would eventually make a move on her, but for it to actually happen?

  Fuck.

  “You need to step up your game,” Channing tells me.

  I shoot him a dark look. I can’t step up my game, because I have no game at this point. I’ve figured out that Harper is still attracted to me, but other than that, I haven’t a clue how to approach her about…anything. She wants nothing to do with me thanks to our past, and now I’ve got Rem trying to close in on her. Lucky bastard. He has no past getting in his way.

  Footsteps approach, and we look up to see Sebastian stumbling into the kitchen—looking half-awake. He has lipstick faintly smeared across his jaw, and his blond hair is spiked from sleep. As he scratches his bare stomach, he blinks and stands in front of the coffee maker that I hadn’t started yet.

  His eyes swing to me accusingly. “You fucker.”

  “You’re never up this early,” I remind, not feeling sorry for him—not after he put Harper on Rem’s radar.

  “Why are you up?” Channing asks him.

  “I can’t think until I get my coffee started,” Sebastian grouses and begins moving about the kitchen.

  I recall my omelet, and I move back to the stove to check on it. It’s nearly ready, and I go back to slicing fruit.

  “You’ve got makeup on your face,” Channing ribs Sebastian.

  In the corner of my eye, I see him slump onto a stool as the coffee begins to percolate. He deliberately ignores Channing’s comment.

  “Why are you up?” Channing asks, repeating his earlier question.

  “I hate sharing my bed, and the chick I brought home is a bed hog,” he mutters.

  Channing begins to snicker. “Stop bringing them home then.”

  “She lives in a dorm, I had to bring her here.”

  “Was Harper out with you last night?” Channing asks offhandedly.

  My hand pauses as I wait for Sebastian’s answer, and I’m careful not to look at him.

  Sebastian grunts in confirmation.

  “She say how she’s doing these days? I haven’t seen much of her lately,” Channing replies.

  “Don’t know. Rem latched onto her last night,” Sebastian says.

  His response has my eyes sliding to Channing’s, and he gives me a look that says I’d better get my ass in gear and do something.

  Fast.

  ***

  As Kieran and I begin vehicle checks, I try to put Harper out of my mind. I
t’s imperative that I keep my mind on the job and not on personal issues. While Kieran checks the oil and fuel level, I go through the medication and equipment cabinets. I make note of the few items we’re low on, and then I leave the rig to go get the replacements.

  When I come back, Kieran’s finished, and he looks at me questioningly. “Everything good to go?”

  I restock the items and nod. “Contact dispatch and advise them we’re ready.”

  After I scan everything once more and confirm all is well-stocked, I make my way to the front and take the passenger seat.

  Kieran looks at me, and his expression tells me that he’d taken note of my mood. “What’s going on?”

  I shake my head. “This isn’t the place.”

  “We haven’t started yet, not until a call comes from dispatch,” he points out.

  I’m not sure I really want to share everything with Kieran. It’s bad enough that I’m still burning over Rem getting close to Harper. I’m just hoping that they hadn’t had sex before he’d brought her home. I can grudgingly handle kissing, but more than that, and I’ll want his head. It doesn’t matter that I don’t have any claims to her, I’ll still want to go after him for taking what I want so badly.

  “You look like you want to pound the shit out of someone,” Kieran observes.

  “I do,” I grudgingly admit.

  “Who?”

  “Rem.”

  “Why?” he asks.

  “He was with Harper last night,” I reveal, deciding I might as well fill him in. He has no idea that she and I have a past—at least not the kind of past that’s linked so intimately. I’ve never discussed it with him since it wasn’t anything I wanted to talk about.

  Understanding dawns across his face. “You’ve got a thing for Harper.”

  “It’s more than that.” I tell him what happened in high school—keeping it short and simple since a call could come in at any time.

  “What are you going to do about Rem?” Kieran asks after I’ve caught him up on everything.

  “It was different when I knew she wasn’t seeing anyone. I was content to sit back and let everything play out, but now Rem’s involved. She deserves better. Not that he’s a bad guy, but he can’t give her what she needs.”