Last Train Home

by Megan Nugen Isbell

  “I kinda surprised her. She didn’t know I was coming.”

  “Really?” Natasha said, her voice going up an octave higher.

  “Yeah. I had this crazy idea that I’d try and get her to come back to Kansas,” he laughed.

  “Well, did you succeed?” Natasha asked.

  “Nah, I don’t think I did,” he said, looking over to me and his eyes seemed to be searching mine for any change in my decision.

  My dad and Robin came back in just then and set the baklava on the table. We all began digging in a few moments later and I could tell Jesse liked the dessert as much he’d enjoyed the gyro. Natasha and Courtney were watching him like he was a curiosity in a Coney Island side show. When we were finished, Robin stood up and started clearing the plates.

  “Let me help,” Jesse said, getting up and gathering plates too. My dad followed them into the kitchen and the second we were alone, both Natasha and Courtney’s eyes beamed over to me.

  “Okay, what the heck it going on?” Natasha whispered excitedly once no one else was around.

  “Yeah! That guy comes all the way here from Kansas to get you, and he’s totally hot, by the way,” Courtney gushed, reminding me again of Mandy when she would get all giddy over Alex.

  “He just came to make sure I was okay,” I said softly so no one would hear.

  “He came all this way just to make sure you were okay?” Natasha said doubtfully and I nodded. “I may not be the brightest bulb in the box, Riley,” she continued. “But I do know guys don’t travel 1,600 miles just to make sure a girl’s okay.”

  “I told you guys he’s a good friend,” I said defensively.

  “Yeah, and I’m the Queen of England,” Natasha shot back sarcastically.

  “Your Highness,” I said in a terrible British accent as I bowed in her direction. Natasha just rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed with me.

  “So, if you guys are just friends, as you insist, you won’t mind if I move in and try and convince him to stay in Boston? We could use his kind of urban chic around here. This place needs a little variety,” Natasha grinned.

  “He would never stay here,” I said quickly and I found myself cringing at the thought of Natasha and Jesse together.

  “You’re awfully sure of that,” she continued and Courtney was giggling now. “Maybe he just needs a little convincing.”

  “Please,” I said, glaring at her. “He’s leaving tomorrow so he won’t need any convincing. Now why don’t you guys go home? I’ll call you when he leaves and I’ll see you at school on Thursday.”

  “You’re kicking us out?” Natasha laughed.

  “Yes, I am,” I said with a smile.

  “Why do we have to leave?” Courtney gasped.

  “Because you guys won’t leave me alone and you won’t stop staring at him, that’s why!” I exclaimed in a whisper.

  “Well, he’s cute,” Courtney said.

  “Yeah, and I like the way he talks. His accent is kinda sexy,” Natasha giggled and I just sighed in frustration.

  “If you need another reason, here’s two more. You guys are complete dorks and you’re annoying me with all your stupid talk.”

  They both stared at me, trying to look offended, but then we heard Jesse walking back in. We were all quiet and he seemed uneasy.

  “Well, we were just leaving,” Natasha said as she grinned over at me and she and Courtney stood up.

  “So soon?” I asked sweetly, giving them a coy smile and they just glared at me.

  “Yeah, we’ve got some homework to do,” Courtney said.

  “Yeah, homework,” Natasha agreed. “It was nice to meet you, Jesse.”

  “Likewise,” he said smiling at them.

  “Thanks for the baklava, Mr. Regas!” Natasha called out.

  “Yeah, thanks!” Courtney shouted.

  “No problem, girls,” his voice rang from the kitchen.

  They turned towards the front door and Jesse and I were quiet until we heard the click of the doorknob behind them.

  “Your friends didn’t have to leave.”

  “Um, yeah they did,” I laughed. “You didn’t notice how they were staring at you?”

  “Well, I kinda noticed.”

  “Yeah. That’s why they had to leave. They would’ve grilled you all night about living in the sticks and talking funny,” I said in my best Kansas accent.

  “They would’ve fit right in with you. That’s all you’ve done since you met me,” he laughed.

  “C’mon. How many times do I have to apologize before you finally stop hassling me about being a snob?”

  “It’s just so fun to get a rise out of you,” he grinned over at me before adding. “Did you tell them not worry? That I wasn’t able to talk you into coming back to Carver?” he asked as we walked into the living room to watch some TV.

  “They didn’t ask. They were more interested in you,” I told him and his cheeks blushed slightly.

  We sat down on the couch and I turned on the TV and began flipping through the channels.

  “I’m glad you came here,” I said, turning away from the TV.

  “You can’t blame a guy for trying,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.

  I just smiled, but I couldn’t tell him how hard it was going to be for me to stay.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  I told myself it was good to be back at school with my friends. I didn’t stick out any more like I had in Carver. I fit in again and I was going about my daily life, trying to forget Alex and what a coward I was being by running from my problems. It had been almost a month since Jesse went back to Kansas and I missed him. It had been harder than I’d expected to say goodbye to him at the airport. I’d hugged him tightly and the look in his eyes before he turned and left, broke my heart. I watched as my best friend turned from me and walked into the airport, not knowing if I’d ever see him again. Once the doors had closed behind him, I’d turned quickly and got back into the car, driving away from the departure terminal faster than I probably should have. I was lucky one of Massachusetts’ finest didn’t pull me over.

  Each night since he’d left, I looked forward to my chats with Jesse. He’d gone back to school too, but he didn’t talk about it much, insisting there wasn’t much to talk about. He did finally reveal that Alex and Adrienne were a couple again and surprisingly, it didn’t bother me. They deserved each other.

  While I tried convincing myself I was happy to be back in my comfort zone, I began to look at my classmates and my school differently. Everything that had seemed so normal before my time in Kansas now seemed too uptight and way too serious. It really hit me when I looked around one cold morning and saw half the student body carrying Styrofoam Dunkin Donuts cups filled with coffee. Before I moved to Kansas I hadn’t given it a second thought, but now I found it almost comical. Teenagers drinking coffee. It seemed pretentious and it made me laugh and miss my friends back in Kansas. Not because they were simpletons, as I’d once thought, but because they were fun without all the hang-ups of my classmates in Boston. They were good people and I missed them.

  I was leaning against my locker one morning when I felt a text come through in my pocket. I pulled my phone out and saw a video message from Jesse waiting. I flipped it open and burst out laughing when I saw a video of Mr. Barry leaning back in his chair, sound asleep, as snoring, that sounded more like a chainsaw, filled the air. “I sure wish you were here to see this one, Riley. Miss you.” Jesse was whispering into the phone as he shot the video and I smiled thinking how much I missed him. It was nice to hear his voice too.

  “What’s so funny?” Natasha interrupted.

  “It’s nothing,” I said, shutting my phone and putting it away.

  “You’re grinning like a fool,” she continued.

  “It was just a funny video Jesse sent me,” I told her and Natasha nodded, seeming to forget about it and continuing the conversation she’d been having with Courtney. I reached back into my pocket for my phone and wrote to Jesse. Tha
nks. I needed that laugh. Miss you too.

  As I put the phone away again I wished I could be there in Constitution with Jesse, laughing and joking at a snoozing Mr. Barry. I’d only been back a little while, but I was starting to wonder if I’d made the wrong choice in coming back. Jesse was right. I was a coward and I was suffering for it now. Alex was living his life exactly the way he wanted while I had let him chase me away. I couldn’t believe I would ever miss Carver, but I was starting to realize I did. I missed the town itself and I missed my family and my friends.

  ****

  “Dad? Can I talk to you?” I asked that night after dinner. I had just finished loading the dishwasher and he’d come in from the living room, where he and Robin were watching the news, to get an ice cream sandwich from the freezer.

  “Sure,” he said, sitting down at the counter while he unwrapped his dessert. I sat down next to him, not knowing how I was going to broach the subject that had been brewing in my gut all day.

  “What is it, Riley?” he asked after a few moments of silence and he seemed to be annoyed I was keeping him from his TV

  “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking,” I began and he chuckled.

  “That could be dangerous.”

  “Ha ha, Dad,” I said sarcastically. “But this is serious.”

  “Okay, okay. I’m sorry. What have you been thinking about?”

  “Carver,” I said and hesitated before continuing. “And how I think I should go back.”

  He put his ice cream sandwich on the counter and looked over to me. I didn’t know how to read his expression.

  “Excuse me?” he finally said.

  “I shouldn’t have come back to Boston. I should’ve stayed and faced my problems instead of running away.”

  “I thought you hated it there. Isn’t that why you begged to come home?”

  “I did hate it there…at first, but it grew on me and I was happy…until the thing with Alex. I miss my friends though and I think I wanna go back.”

  “Riley,” he sighed. “You can’t just hop back and forth between Carver and Boston whenever you have a problem.”

  “I know I can’t and I won’t. It was stupid of me to even come here. I made a bad decision and I tried running from the consequences. I let Alex determine my life and I shouldn’t have done that. He already took enough from me.”

  My dad sighed again and I knew he wasn’t happy. His ice cream sandwich was beginning to melt on the counter and I knew he’d completely forgotten about it.

  “You need to really think about what you’re saying. You need to make sure you’re making the right decision for you. Not only the you right now, but the you in a month or in a year, because I’ll tell you one thing, you won’t be running back here again if you go back and things don’t work out, so you’d better be sure.”

  I stared at him and I was angry.

  “Dad, I didn’t want to run here,” I said defensively. “But I didn’t know what else to do. This wasn’t easy for me. It was awful. I’ve never felt so lost in my life. This is all so embarrassing. I never wanted you to know what happened. I’m sorry,” I said as my voice cracked.

  “I don’t want you to get upset, Riley. I just want you to think about this.”

  I realized I was glaring at him, but then I felt my face soften.

  “I have thought about it, I swear,” I said, looking seriously at him. “What happened with Alex…it was one of the worst days of my life,” I said and I felt tears brewing in my eyes as I thought back on it. “You weren’t there, so you have no idea what it was like. I was humiliated and I just wanted to run away. It was stupid though. Running doesn’t do anything. I get that now. I thought coming back would make it all go away, but it won’t. I love it here and I love my friends, but I love it in Carver too and I wanna go back.”

  “I never thought I’d hear you say those words,” he chuckled lightly.

  “Me either. I was so angry at Mom for moving there at first. I hated her and I was so mean to her. I mean, I was really awful. I’m sure she never told you how bad I really was,” I said regretfully, wiping the tears from my eyes. “I was terrible and she did nothing to deserve it and then I just took off and ran away and left her there. I need to go back and tell her how sorry I am. I need to be there with her. I want to be there with her.”

  He was nodding as if he understood.

  “You’re so much like your mother sometimes, it’s scary,” he said with a smile. “That’s probably why you two butt heads so much. And you do need to apologize. Your mother’s a good woman,” he said and I couldn’t help wondering to myself if he thought that about her, then why had they ever gotten divorced. I knew I couldn’t ask though. That was the past and nothing was going to change what had happened between my parents, just as nothing would change what had happened with Alex. I could only learn from the past and move on.

  “She is a good person and I need to finally show her I think that,” I said and then the kitchen was quiet as my dad finally picked up the melting ice cream sandwich. He grabbed a napkin and wiped up the mess it’d left on the counter.

  “You’re sure about this then?” he finally asked.

  “Yes, I’m sure. I want to go back,” I said without hesitation and then waited for his response as my heart was pounding in my chest.

  “Okay,” he said finally and I sighed in relief.

  “Thanks for being so understanding, Dad. You and Mom both. I didn’t mean to cause so much drama or have you go to all this expense just so I could run away.”

  “We’re parents. That’s what we do,” he said with a smile, which quickly turned into a smirk. “But, about the expense. You will be paying me back for this return flight to Kansas.”

  I just smiled at him and then stood up and walked over and hugged him.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Even though I knew I wanted to go back to Carver, leaving Boston wasn’t easy. When I told Natasha and Courtney, they thought I was crazy and pleaded with me to regain my senses and forget about Kansas. It didn’t work though and we all cried again, just as we had when I’d left the first time, but they both vowed to come visit me in Kansas, which made me laugh. I hoped they would come so they could see what I was finally seeing in Carver.

  Saying goodbye to my dad was easier because of the talk we’d had when I told him I was going back. That had basically been our farewell, but I still cried when we hugged at the airport. It was even bittersweet saying goodbye to Robin. I’d thought she was an enemy for so long, but the time I’d spent back in Boston helped me realize she wasn’t. I thought perhaps, had I stayed, we could’ve been friends

  The flights back to Kansas were uneventful, but I started to get anxious when I felt the plane begin its decent into the Wichita airport. It didn’t take long and a few minutes later, it was on the ground. Unlike when I’d landed in Atlanta, the taxi to the gate was short, seeing how Mid-Continent was just a speck when it came to airports.

  When I stepped off the jet way it was a stunning difference between both Boston and Atlanta, which had been teaming with activity. The terminal in Wichita, however, seemed almost asleep and only a small group of passengers were waiting for a Frontier Airlines flight to Denver at the gate next to ours. Other than that, it appeared deserted. It was beyond obvious I wasn’t in Boston anymore and as I looked out the large windows that lined the airport, my eyes focused on the flat plains. I smiled and I was okay that this wasn’t Boston and I was glad to be back.

  I knew my mom and my grandma would be waiting for me just outside the terminal. I wondered how it would feel to see them again. I could tell my mom had been trying to control her emotions when I told her I was coming back. I knew she wanted me to come back, but I knew she was also worried. Despite this though, nothing could ease my nerves as I thought about seeing my mom again. I had so much to say to her.

  I walked through the security area and down a ramp and saw my mom standing there, with my grandmother sitting in a chair next to her. My mom
was smiling. Not too widely, more like she was relieved to be seeing me again

  A few moments later, she had her arms around me and I had to force myself not to cry. It felt right being here in her embrace.

  My grandma grabbed me as soon as my mom let go and I put my arms around her soft frame.

  “I knew you couldn’t stay away,” my grandma said in her comforting voice. Even though I hadn’t been gone that long, I’d missed them both so much.

  “C’mon. Let’s get your bags and go home,” my mom said and I thought I saw her wipe her eyes.

  ****

  The drive back to Carver was quiet and didn’t take as long as I remembered. When we pulled up to the old white farmhouse, I felt a sense of normalcy wash over me, like this was where I was meant to be. I helped my grandma out of the car and then my mom took her by the elbow and led her up the stairs while I grabbed my two suitcases from the trunk. I dragged them up the stairs one by one and then set them inside, shutting the door behind me. I took a moment to look around the living room. It felt like I’d been gone a lifetime and I was happy to be home.

  “Are you hungry, Riley?” my grandma called from the kitchen

  “A little,” I answered as I pulled the first suitcase to the base of the stairs. My lack of upper body strength would require I make two trips to my bedroom.

  “I’ll make up some sandwiches then,” she said as she walked slowly to the refrigerator and began pulling out cold cuts and cheese.

  “Thanks. I’ll be right back,” I said as I started lugging the suitcase up the stairs. Halfway up, I heard my mom behind me. I turned and saw she was dragging the other one up.

  “You didn’t have to do that. I’d have gotten it,” I told her.

  “It’s okay. You looked like you could use some help.”

  “Thanks,” I said quietly with a smile and it was already obvious our relationship had completely changed. The tension was practically non-existent and a mutual respect flowed between us. This was how it should’ve always been. This is how it would’ve been had I not been such a brat and been determined to push her away.