Last Train Home

by Megan Nugen Isbell

  We were quiet a minute and then he looked over at me.

  “How’re you doing today?” he asked.

  He looked serious and I knew he truly cared about me. He’d flown half-way across the county just to make sure I was alright, after all. Even though I knew all this, I still found it hard to believe he really did care so much. It wasn’t normal for someone to be this understanding and nice, and yet here he was. I shuddered to think how I’d be feeling if I’d woken up this morning and he hadn’t been there.

  “I’m okay,” I said and then smiled up at him.

  “You sure? I’m worried about you.”

  “Please, don’t worry,” I said and we were quiet again.

  I looked out the window. Unlike yesterday’s hazy morning, today it was bright and sunny.

  “Can I take you around the city today?” I asked, wanting to change the subject.

  “Definitely.”

  “I’ll go take a shower then and we’ll head out.”

  “Sounds good,” he said and I left the table and headed upstairs.

  ****

  It may have been sunny outside, but it was definitely cool and after showering, I put on a pair of jeans and a red sweater, paired with brown boots. I pulled my hair back into a loose ponytail at the base of my neck and after putting my make-up on, I went back downstairs where Jesse was helping my dad put groceries away.

  “Hey,” I said, sidling up beside my dad.

  “Good morning,” he replied, giving me a quick hug.

  “So what are we having for dinner tonight?” I asked as I peered inside the grocery bags.

  “I thought I’d make gyros and a Greek salad and some baklava for dessert.”

  “I can’t wait,” I said excitedly. “What time are we eating so I know when Jesse and I need to be back.”

  “We’ll be eating around six o’clock,” he answered. “Where are you two headed?”

  “Just around. Freedom Trail stuff probably,” I answered as I helped finish putting the groceries away.

  “Alright. Have fun,” my dad said, closing a cupboard and then turned to me with a serious expression. “Enjoy yourself because you’re registering tomorrow.” I forced myself to grin agreeably and then turned to Jesse.

  “You wanna head out?”

  “Sure,” he said, reaching over and grabbing his gray zip-up hoodie and slipping it on.

  I couldn’t wait to show him around. It’d been forever since I’d just walked around the city, taking in everything that made Boston the unique place it was.

  As we walked down the sidewalk, I noticed Jesse looking around, taking everything in. Even though it was just my dad’s neighborhood, I was sure it was very different than any place Jesse had ever been. Cars lined the streets and condos and townhouses surrounded us.

  “What do you think?” I asked him.

  “It’s all very…tight here,” he said with a smile.

  “Yeah, I guess it is,” I said, looking around and knowing compared to the open spaces of Carver, everything seemed claustrophobic.

  “It’s like everyone lives on top of each other. Do you like that?” he asked and I pondered the question. I’d never really known any different, well, at least not till I’d moved to Kansas and I had to admit, I liked the open space there.

  “I don’t mind it.”

  “I don’t know if I could live here. I would at least need a yard,” he laughed.

  “Yeah, I have a hard time imagining you being happy here,” I said, looking over to him and he was smiling.

  “I’m here right now and I’m happy,” he said and I reached over and linked arms with him as we continued to walk.

  “And I’m very glad you’re here.”

  We walked quietly for a while until we got to the subway stop.

  “Where are we headed?” he asked.

  “We’re taking the T downtown,” I told him as I reached into my wallet and pulled out the old subway card I still carried.

  “The T?”

  “It’s what we call the subway here.”

  “But we’re not underground,” he said, confused again.

  “The subway’s not totally underground.”

  “Oh…kay,” he said and I could tell he was trying to wrap his head around everything. “And what’s that?” he asked, pointing to the card in my hand.

  “This is a Charlie card. It’s how you ride the T,” I told him as we walked over to a kiosk. I put in some cash and recharged my card. We scanned it and walked through the turnstile. I looked over at Jesse and he was standing with his hands buried in his pockets. It was obvious he was out of his comfort zone.

  “Now you know how I felt,” I said.

  “Excuse me?”

  “How I felt when I first got to Carver and you all stared at me like I was an alien when I didn’t know what a mule was.”

  He started laughing.

  “Yeah, that was pretty funny.”

  “And now it’s my turn to laugh.”

  “Well, if that makes you feel better, go right ahead,” he said and then both of our heads turned as we heard the train rumbling down the track. It came to a stop and I pulled him towards the doors that were opening. We squeezed our way on. Unfortunately, all the seats were taken. Jesse and I found a spot in the back and held onto the silver bars that stretched from the roof to the floor. The train lurched forward and I laughed as Jesse tried to brace himself.

  “You are really enjoying this, aren’t you?”

  “Sure am. You’d better hold on. The T isn’t exactly known for its smooth ride.”

  “Sounds like it needs a good greasing,” he said as the train squeaked noisily along the tracks. “How long are we gonna be on this thing?”

  “Not too long.”

  We got off at the Government Center stop a little while later. We edged our way off the T and made our way to the surface.

  “So this is it,” I said once we reached the street. We walked down some steps and descended towards Faneuil Hall, a large red brick building from the 1700s. It was as busy as ever with street performers and people bustling in and out of the different shops.

  “What’s this place?”

  “Faneuil Hall,” I told him and then proceeded to tell him everything about it that I could remember from history class, like how it’d been a market place and meeting hall and the site of famous speeches at the beginning of the American Revolution.

  “We should make sure to take some pictures and email them to Mr. Barry. He’d be very jealous,” Jesse grinned.

  “Yeah, he’d probably pee his pants with excitement,” I said and we both laughed because we knew it was true. I took Jesse’s hand and let him past Faneuil Hall towards Quincy Market.

  ****

  We spent the afternoon wandering around all the historic sights of Boston. Jesse seemed intrigued with how the past and present merged together effortlessly. One moment we were staring up at skyscrapers and the next we were walking through a cemetery in the middle of the city reading the headstones of Paul Revere, Samuel Adams and Mother Goose. We stopped by the waterfront and had a lobster and chowder lunch and Jesse told me it was the first time he’d ever seen the ocean. He seemed to stare at it forever as if he couldn’t get enough of it. I promised him the next time he was in town, he’d have to come in the summer and we’d catch a Red Sox game at Fenway and go deep sea fishing. His face lit up at the notion and I hoped we’d actually get the chance to do it.

  I showed him the Old North Church and we strolled through Little Italy and took a tour of Paul Revere’s house. We made our way across the Charles River and we climbed the Bunker Hill monument, which was not an easy feat. Then we explored the USS Constitution before making our way back to the T and ending up at Boston Common.

  “Now this is more like it,” Jesse said as we strolled in the grass. “I feel like I can breathe again.”

  “Yeah, it’s a nice sanctuary away from the city,” I said. “It’s kinda like the Central Park of Boston. Well,
actually, Central Park’s like the Boston Common of New York, just on a grander scale. This was the first designated city park in the United States, so in actuality, New York stole the idea from us,” I laughed.

  “Well, whoever came up with the idea, it was a good one.”

  “You should see this place in the summer. The grass is so lush and green and there are flowers everywhere.”

  I looked around and while it was still pretty, the grass was mostly wheat colored and the trees were trying desperately to cling to the few leaves that remained.

  “You wanna try some roasted peanuts?” I asked as I walked towards a street vendor.

  “Sure, why not?”

  I bought us some to share along with a lemonade for each of us and we found a spot under a large tree.

  “These are pretty good,” Jesse said as he continued popping peanuts in his mouth.

  “I love them,” I said through a mouthful.

  “Yeah, I can tell,” he laughed. “Why don’t you try and shove a little more in there?”

  I just grinned and threw a peanut at him, which bounced off his forehead.

  “Hey, that’s gonna leave a bruise,” he said, rubbing his head.

  I just laughed and threw another one at him, which he batted away before it could make contact.

  “I had fun today,” I told him.

  “Yeah, me too. Boston’s pretty cool.”

  “See, I told you you’d love it.”

  “Yeah, I can see why you’d wanna come back. It’s kinda hard for Carver to compete with all of this.”

  “Carver’s not so bad,” I said and he perked up.

  “Excuse me? Did I hear that correctly? Did you just say Carver’s not so bad?” he laughed, scratching his ear as if he were cleaning it out to make sure he’d heard me correctly.

  “Yes, I said Carver’s not so bad.”

  “And what would possess you to say that?”

  “Well, it’s got its charms,” I said, thinking back to the quaint little town in southern Kansas I’d been intent on hating for so long.

  “Yeah? Like what?” he prodded.

  “Well, I like being able to see the sunsets,” I began.

  “And?”

  “The quiet is nice,” I added.

  “Anything else?”

  “The people are nice…well, most people there are nice,” I said softly, thinking back to the two people who had been awful there, Alex and Adrienne.

  Jesse knew who I was referring to, but we were both quiet. Neither of us wanted to talk about that anymore.

  “So, taking all the positives into consideration,” he said hesitantly. “Is there any way I can convince you to come back?”

  I looked up and met his gray eyes and he was staring at me seriously.

  “I was wondering when you were going to bring that up again,” I said grinning, but Jesse’s face remained serious.

  “I know you love Boston and I know why you’d want to stay, I mean, especially after everything that happened, but isn’t there anything that would make you come back?”

  I looked away and I felt my eyes grow warm. I didn’t want to cry. We’d had such a great day. I didn’t want to ruin it now.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you,” Jesse said as he handed me a napkin and I wiped away the tear that had escaped. I dabbed at my eyes to keep the others from falling too.

  “It’s okay. I’ve just been emotional lately.”

  “I know, but I want to make sure you make the right decision for you, Riley. If you tell me right now that you want to stay here, I’ll never ask you about it again. But, if there’s a chance you might want to come back, I want to make sure you don’t give up that chance.”

  As I looked at Jesse, I almost wished he hadn’t come. As much fun as I was having with him, seeing him made part of me want to go back to Kansas and I could absolutely not go back there.

  “Jesse, you know I can’t go back and you know why I can’t go back.”

  I heard him sigh and he looked at the ground.

  “I hate him,” he mumbled so quietly I could barely hear him.

  “What?”

  “I hate him,” he said forcefully, looking up at me.

  “Who?”

  “Alex. I hate him.”

  “That makes two of us,” I said with a light laugh.

  “This isn’t funny, Riley,” he said sternly and my smile faded. “None of this is funny. I never liked the guy, but now I really hate him and not just because of what he did to you, but because of what he’s turned you into.”

  “And what has he turned me into?” I asked as my face curled up in offense.

  “You’re like this shell of your former self.”

  “No, I’m not. I’m still me.”

  “But you’re different now. You’re afraid.”

  “No, I’m not,” I said defensively.

  “Yes, you are and I hate that he’s done that to you. The Riley I first met would’ve never left. You were feisty, but strong when you first got to Kansas. That Riley would’ve never let him win because you’re better than that. This whole situation is ridiculous actually.”

  I didn’t know what to say. My eyes started brimming with tears again and I hated hearing what Jesse was saying to me.

  “You really know how to make a girl feel good about herself.”

  “I’m not trying to make you feel badly,” he said gently, reaching over and touching my arm.

  “Well, you are,” I snapped, jerking my arm away from him. “Now according to you, I’m being ridiculous.”

  “You’re not being ridiculous. This situation is ridiculous. The fact I’m here trying to get you to come back when you’re obviously adamant about running from your problems rather than facing them and telling Alex to go to hell by showing up and living your life, is ridiculous. I’m not trying to make you feel badly, but I can’t keep my mouth shut anymore. I’ve tried being gentle, now I need to be honest and try and knock some sense into you,” he said and when I looked over, I knew he wasn’t being malicious, but it still didn’t numb the sting of his words.

  “This has been the worst week of my life and you might not get it or understand how I can be so upset about it or how I’d want to get away from it, but I do and I’m sorry if you can’t understand,” I said and then looked up at him again. “Why’d you even come here anyway if you just wanted to point out how stupid and weak I am?”

  “You are the furthest thing from stupid or weak and I’m sorry if you misinterpreted what I said because that’s not what I meant. Until recently, you were one of the most independent girls I’d ever met, but that’s all gone because of Alex and I know you’re better than him,” he said sternly.

  “Again, thank you for pointing out how weak I am.”

  Jesse sighed and looked away for a moment. He closed his eyes, obviously thinking. He opened them a moment later and then turned back to meet my eyes.

  “I wish you could see yourself the way I do. Then you’d realize why it pisses me off so much to see you like this,” he sighed, before adding. “I just wish you’d come home.”

  For whatever reason Jesse thought I was special. I didn’t understand why, but he did. He’d come all the way to Boston to try and bring me home. What he didn’t understand was that Carver was not my home. I was already home.

  “Please, Jesse. Please don’t do this anymore. I am home,” I said through the lump in my throat. “Now just let us enjoy the rest of the day. I’m sorry I’ve disappointed you, but this is what I want. I want to stay here. You may think it’s the coward’s way out, but it’s what I want.”

  Everyone else in the park seemed to disappear. The silence was deafening and as the lines on Jesse’s face softened, I knew he’d given up.

  “Okay,” he said softly. “I had to at least try. I’ll call the airline and book a ticket home for tomorrow.”

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  I made sure we were back at my dad’s house by six o’clock. I didn�
�t want to miss the big dinner he was preparing. Jesse didn’t say another word about me returning with him to Kansas and I was glad because I just wanted to enjoy the last night I’d probably ever have with my best friend.

  “So, you’ve never had a gyro then?” my dad asked Jesse once we were all seated at the dinner table.

  “No, sir. I can’t say I have.” Jesse grinned and took a bite.

  We all stared at him, waiting for his reaction. He looked up and smiled and wiped his mouth with a napkin.

  “Well?” I asked him.

  “It’s good. Very good,” he said, taking another bite and then we all began eating our own gyros and salads. I’d forgotten how much I’d missed my dad’s cooking until the pieces of spiced lamb were dancing in my mouth.

  I was clearing away the dinner dishes in preparation for the baklava when the doorbell rang. Robin got up to answer it and then I heard the familiar voices of Natasha and Courtney babbling in the entryway.

  Their voices got louder as they drew closer to the dining room and then they walked in and looked around. Their voices stopped when they saw Jesse. They both started smiling and then they looked over at me.

  “Hey, Riley,” Natasha said mischievously.

  “Sorry to just barge in,” Courtney said and they both sat down before waiting for an invitation.

  “You’re just in time for some baklava. Do you girls want some?” my dad asked standing up.

  “Yeah, thanks Mr. Regas,” Natasha replied and Courtney nodded and then my dad and Robin disappeared into the kitchen to get the dessert.

  “We just finished with volleyball practice and thought we’d come by and see what’s going on,” Natasha said and then her eyes darted over to Jesse. “Aren’t you going to introduce us, Riley?”

  “Um, yeah,” I said hesitantly. “Guys, this is Jesse, my friend from Kansas. Jesse, this is Natasha and Courtney.”

  “Hey,” he said, raising a shy hand to them.

  “Hey,” they both replied and then Courtney turned to me.

  “You didn’t tell us Jesse was coming.”

  “Well,” I began and Jesse cut me off.