He couldn’t even consider leaving. If the doctors didn’t know why she wasn’t conscious, that meant that she might wake up any time. He would be here when she did.
His father called Ben’s cell and told him he’d found them a place to stay for the night, not far from the hospital, and he’d rented a car. “I’m on my way now,” he told Ben before they ended the call.
Ben went back in to see Liv, while Mark waited for Ben’s father.
“How is she?” Ben’s father asked Mark.
“No change.”
“How’s my boy?”
“In bad shape. Paige has been talking to him about going back to the tour. How many concerts have they canceled so far?”
“Just tonight’s. They didn’t have a show scheduled tomorrow night.”
“Something happened at the arena, right after Liv’s accident. A close family friend was there. He was competing in another event, and saw what happened. He waited with Liv while the medical team called for an ambulance. She was conscious.”
“And?”
“She told Billy not to let Ben come if he tried.”
“Why not?”
“She said that she and Ben had promised one another, but that was all. Has something happened between them in the last couple of weeks?”
“I don’t know.”
“Paige is convinced Liv can hear us, that’s why it’s so important we keep talking to her, but not say anything that might upset her.”
“So she wants Ben to leave?”
“Yes. She does.”
Billy Patterson came off the elevator with Dottie and his dad.
“Where’s our girl?” Dottie asked Mark.
“I’ll take you to her. Give me just a minute. Have you met Bud? This is Ben’s father.”
After they were introduced, Mark asked Bud if he minded waiting while he took Bill and Dottie back.
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll wait here, but before you go, can I talk to you for just a minute?” Bud went to the window, and Mark followed.
“Do you want me to talk to Ben?”
“Paige will, but she wants your help convincing him. We’ll keep in contact with him and let him know if there’s any change, but she thinks he should leave.”
“I know my son. It won’t be easy to talk him into leaving.”
Mark nodded. “I completely understand.”
Paige and Renie came out, and Dottie and Bill went back in their place. Ben came out a few minutes later.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Hello, son,” Bud answered.
“What the hell is he doing here? She doesn’t want him here,” Billy shouted.
“Billy!” Paige put her hand on his arm. “Please take Renie downstairs and get her something to eat, and bring me back a cup of coffee.”
Billy pointed at Ben. “You be gone when I get back.” Mark stepped in front of him and turned him in the direction of the elevator. “Not now,” Mark said to him.
Ben turned to Paige. “What the hell was that about? And what is Junior doing here?”
Bud put his hand on his son’s arm. “Ben, please sit. Paige needs to talk to you.”
Ben did as his dad asked, as though he was on autopilot. Paige sat on the other side of him, leaned forward, and put her hands on his.
“You need to go back out on tour.”
“I already told you I wouldn’t leave.”
“Son, there’s something Paige needs to tell you.” Bud looked at her. “Go ahead, Paige.”
“Liv told Billy that you promised each other. I’m guessing you know what she meant by that.”
Ben nodded.
“You know in your heart that Liv wouldn’t want you to miss this opportunity. This is your tour. Your shot. Your year. We will be here with her, and so will Renie. We’ll contact you the minute there’s a change.”
“No, Paige. I’m not leaving. The tour doesn’t matter. Nothing matters but Liv.”
Ben’s father shook his head.
A nurse came out to the ICU waiting area and told them that Liv couldn’t have any more visitors today. They’d already exceeded the number permitted.
Bud talked Ben into going to the hotel.
“Before you say anything, I’m not going back on tour, Dad. Don’t try to talk me into it.”
“It’s your decision.”
“But you think I should?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“What would you do, if it was Mom?”
“I always do what your mother wants.” Bud laughed and so did Ben, almost.
“I can’t leave her.”
“What can you do to help her?”
He wanted to be there when she woke up. Until she did, he would hold her hand and talk to her, and sing to her. Anything to help her.
“What if she knows you’re here?”
“Then it’ll be one more reason for her to wake up.”
Jimmy called and told him they’d posted on the website and social media that the concert in Cleveland had been canceled due to a family emergency. Once they had, the response from the fans had been overwhelming. Posts of support came from everywhere.
“Support for what?”
“For Liv.”
“How does anyone know about her?”
“You live in a fishbowl, Ben. We’re on a national tour, and it’s sold out. The fan response to the new album has been phenomenal.”
Jimmy was right. At the beginning of the tour, they were booking smaller venues, and they’d sold out in minutes. The tour promoters pushed for bigger venues, and they sold out too. Ben had a hard time wrapping his head around it. All the years they’d dreamed of success and suddenly, inexplicably, it was happening.
A few months ago they’d played the Paramount in Denver, and now they sold out Red Rocks—where they’d been an opening band a year ago, and where he first met Liv.
There was a knock on the door, and his dad walked over to it. When he saw Paige, Ben told Jimmy he’d call him back.
“What does Liv want?”
“Let up, Paige.”
“What would you want, if it was you? Would you want her to give up her dream? Would you tell her to sit by your side, and let her dream dissolve into nothing? Would you let her do that, Ben?”
No, he wouldn’t. Ben got up from the bed and walked to the window. A few minutes later, he heard the hotel room door close. When he turned around again, his dad was sitting in the chair, his fingers steepled in front of his mouth and nose.
“Come to any decisions?” he asked.
“Yeah,” he said with reservation. “I’ll fly into Hartford tomorrow night. I’d like to use the plane, Dad. If there’s a change in her condition, I want to be able to get back as fast as possible.”
“We’ll go together, Ben. I’ll stay with you on tour for the time being.”
Ben knew his father’s biggest concern, and he was glad he didn’t say it. Yeah, he wanted a drink more than anything. And not just one, he wanted a whole bottle.
The next morning Ben visited the hospital, and told Liv he was going back on tour. He was doing it for her, because he loved her. He hoped Paige was right, and Liv heard him.
20
Ben walked out on stage the following night in Hartford, Connecticut and was met by chants. “Liv, Liv, Liv,” the audience shouted.
He pulled a stool to the front of the stage, sat down, and did what came naturally to him. He told them about her. Ten thousand people went silent, and listened.
“I told Liv that I wouldn’t play this song until she was here with me, to hear it live for the first time, but I feel her here, through you.”
Ben started to play, just him, the rest of the band stayed silent along with the audience.
Sweet beauty on steps, waiting, like me
Sun masked by clouds, so free
Beautiful, if only you were able to move,
To go, to ride, to smile, to fly, to kiss, to fall.
I know how deep your smile, if
only you could fall
I know how wild your passion, if only you
would fall
I know how deep your longing, if only you
could fall.
I know your fear, I know your tears
But that smile, so sweet, that longing so deep
Your eyes burn into my heart, my love, my joy,
my fall.
You know my longing deep, you know my love,
so hard
You know my longing deep, you know my passion,
so wild
You know my fall.
To see you here then, in the midst of your fall
To know your joy, so deep, to know your passion,
complete
To know your longing, my all, and then, my sweet,
you fall.
When Ben woke up the next morning, Jimmy told him a fan had posted “Fall for Me” on YouTube. It had three million views. Overnight.
“Don’t ask me to do this.”
“I don’t want him here.”
“I made a promise, Liv. I can’t keep lying to him.”
“Then leave, and don’t come back. I won’t ever forgive you if you tell him.”
“Liv…”
“I don’t want him here.”
Liv spent hours replaying the accident over in her head. Micah hesitated, a split second, then went right. They were tight to the barrel, and they were going to knock it over. Then Micah went down, her head was too close to the ground, she knew she was going to hit head first. She’d heard the snap, and now, she had no feeling in her legs.
Billy assured her that Micah had been checked out and suffered no injury in the accident. He promised her he’d make sure her horse was exercised daily, and ready to get back at it as soon as she was.
Renie, Paige, Mark, and Billy were the only people she permitted to visit. She even refused to see Dottie and Bill.
She’d come out of her coma two days ago—four days after Renie made the decision to have her moved from Idaho to Denver.
Paige told her that Ben had come to Idaho the day after her accident, and that she had convinced him to go back on tour. “Now I regret my decision, Liv. I promised him I would tell him if your condition changed. I promised.”
“I don’t care, Paige. He and I made a promise to each other first, and that’s all that matters.”
Renie had begged her to let them call Ben, but Liv refused her, too.
“I know you don’t understand, but Ben and I promised each other that we wouldn’t let the other give up on their dream. I can’t let him give up, Renie. You know as well as I do that if he knew I was out of the coma, he’d cancel the rest of the tour.”
“He’d want to, Mom. He’d want to be here with you, helping you.”
“Do what? You and the nurses can push me around in the wheelchair just fine.”
“That’s not the point. He loves you.”
“The person Ben fell in love with doesn’t exist anymore.”
When Renie tried to discuss Ben further, Liv closed her eyes and asked her to leave.
Philadelphia, Toronto, Saratoga Springs, Virginia Beach and now Raleigh. Every night, the same thing happened. The crowd chanted Liv’s name and Ben opened the show by telling a story about her. He didn’t plan what he’d say ahead of time. Sometimes he told a new story, sometimes it was one he’d already told. Then he’d play “Fall for Me.”
There was so much demand for the song, the band recorded a live version and put it on digital music outlets. Not only had the song moved into the number one spot in a few days, their new album was currently number seven, and the song wasn’t even on it.
The band had been gaining mass market popularity before Liv’s accident, and since, fan support had grown exponentially. The worst pain he’d ever known fueled the success of his life’s dream. The irony ate him alive.
He called Paige at least once every day. Nothing to report, she’d tell him.
Liv was being moved to a rehab facility outside of Colorado Springs. She still didn’t have any feeling below the waist, and the doctors were recommending surgery. Liv was in favor of it, even with the risk. She could end up as a paraplegic, or it might kill her.
They agreed to wait three more weeks, to let her body heal more.
“Let me tell him something, anything.”
“No.”
“I have to tell him you’re being moved.”
“No, Paige.”
“He’s capable of calling the hospital, Liv. They may not tell him your condition, but they’ll sure as hell tell him you’re no longer there. You know him, he’ll be here as fast as that little plane will fly him.”
“Tell him they’re moving me. But that’s all.”
“What will happen when the tour ends?”
“I have six weeks before I need to worry about that.”
CB Rice was bigger than they ever dreamed possible. The record label wanted them to start the European leg of their tour in January. Ben told them he couldn’t agree to it yet.
They’d be off from the middle of November until the end of December, and once he saw his boys, he’d spend the rest of the time with Liv. He’d spend every minute of it with her, until she came out of the coma, and then he’d spend every minute after she did with her, too. He’d even bring his boys over from Crested Butte to stay with him.
Liv checked the social media feed for the second time this morning, and saw they’d posted photos from the concert last night. Then she went on YouTube to watch and listen to the story he told about her, as she had every morning for the last five weeks.
Tomorrow was her surgery. It had been delayed two additional weeks, but now the doctors believed her body could withstand it.
During the seven-hour operation, surgeons would take one of the discs from Liv’s back and fuse it where the damage occurred. Then they’d mend the broken bone with surgical cement and used titanium screws and plates to fix her neck.
The next afternoon Renie and Paige held hands and Mark stood behind them, his hands on their shoulders when the doctors came out to tell them how the surgery went.
“Everything went well. Now we have to wait and see. We won’t know anything until she wakes. She’ll be under sedation for a couple more hours, and then moved to a room, where you’ll be able to see her.”
Jimmy saw it first, and prayed Ben would stay distracted until he could confirm if it was true, or just a cruel attempt by the press to make a buck.
The post read, “CB Rice Cashes in Big with Fake Coma Story.” It went on to say that CB Rice’s recent meteoric rise to fame was due in large part to the fans’ near hysteria over Ben Rice’s girlfriend’s accident and subsequent coma.
According to reports, the woman in question had been out of her coma for weeks. She’d come out of it not long after the first concert Ben told his naive fans the tragic story of the alleged love of his life.
Jimmy looked at Ben’s face. He’d seen it.
“What the fuck is this?”
Ben, Bud, and Jimmy were trying to reach Paige, Renie, Mark, or the hospital. None were answering, and the hospital wouldn’t even confirm that they had a patient by the name of Olivia Fairchild.
Paige and Renie were talking with Liv when Mark saw the story on CNN.
“You better turn on the news,” he said when he walked in the room.
“Oh, my God.” Liv’s head fell back on the pillow.
Paige looked at her phone. “Shit. Seven missed calls. All from Ben.” She raised her eyebrows at Liv. “What now?”
“Get me on a goddamn plane.”
They were in LA, and it would take two hours to fly to Denver if Ben took a commercial flight.
Three hours later, Ben stormed into the hospital…and Mark waited for him. Again.
“Tell me,” Ben managed to say. “No, wait. I’d rather hear this from Liv, since she’s awake.” The bitterness dripped from his tongue like poison sludge.
Mark took him up to Liv’s roo
m, where Paige and Renie sat with her.
“Hello, Liv,” Ben sneered. “Ladies, I need to talk to Liv alone.”
Renie stopped in front of him, tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she said. “It wasn’t ever about you, Ben. My mom needed to come first.”
Ben didn’t think anything could get him to take his eyes off Liv, but that had.
He closed his eyes. That’s the way it was, wasn’t it? It wasn’t about him, or what an absolute fucking idiot he was. It wasn’t about him unintentionally duping millions of people, who now thought he was the scum of the earth for lying to them.
It wasn’t about the pain he carried in his heart, his head, throughout his body for the last two months. Or him thinking he wouldn’t have the chance to tell the incredible woman in front of him, how much he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.
No, this wasn’t ever about him.
Paige and Renie left, but Ben didn’t move. Liv was right in front of him, and her eyes were open. He’d dreamt about it, prayed for it to happen, but he couldn’t move.
“Why?” he asked. “And don’t say this wasn’t about me. Don’t.”
“It was all about you,” she answered.
“All about me?” Ben scrubbed his hand over his face.
“I guess you didn’t think about the other people in my life who would be affected by this. Do you have any idea what this will do to the band? Forget about me, think about the band, and the crew, all the people we employ. We’re done, Liv. People think we’ve been conning them. So you wanna tell me how this was all about me?”
He was angry, hurt, and confused, but when he saw her tears, it all went away. None of it mattered. The need to touch her overwhelmed him.
He stalked toward the bed and leaned down close to her. “I don’t want to physically hurt you, but I’m going to kiss you, and I’m going to kiss you hard. So if there’s a part of you I can’t touch, tell me now.”
Liv shook her head, and wiped at her tears.
When Ben’s lips met hers, his mouth devoured hers and dared hers to respond. His hand came up and stroked her face. He tasted the saltiness of her tears as they ran down her face and into their mouths. He heard her cries, but he chose to ignore them. He needed to take this from her and let everything else be damned. She pulled at him, trying to bring his body closer to hers.
Fall for Me (Cowboys of Crested Butte Book 1) Page 19