Salt

by David Chambers

  ‘I guess. I’ve never thought about it but I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t count him.’ Dan said.

  ‘Really why?’ Emma asked.

  ‘I don’t think it counts if it wasn’t by choice. Pretty sure that would be the rules.’

  ‘Ok well then its seven.’ Emma said.

  ‘Without him?’

  ‘Yeah.’ Emma said.

  ‘Well that’s not many at all. I thought you said you went a bit off the rails.’

  ‘I did but it was a short spell so I didn’t go too crazy.’

  ‘Good. Well seven’s not many at all. I sound like a slut now with my number.’

  ‘Nah. You’re an old man so you’ve had ages.’ Emma said plucking a single hair from his chest.

  Dan flinched. ‘Cheeky bitch. I’m not even middle aged yet.’ He rubbed his chest.

  ‘Not far though, you’ve got the younger girlfriend so it’s just a sports car next. Ferrari or something if you can afford it. I can see you in one of those.’

  ‘Nah. Not for me. I don’t like how they’re put together.’

  ‘What do you mean? I thought they were hand built.’

  ‘They are but that’s what I don’t like. Hand built stuff is never as neat. All the stitching and stuffs out of line.’

  ‘You’re such a nerd.’ Emma said laughing.

  ‘I know. That’s why I like German cars. They’re made by nerds.’ Dan said.

  ‘Made for nerds you mean.’ Emma said squeezing him.

  ‘You have a Golf and that’s German Little Miss Nerdy Knickers.’

  ‘Oy. I’m not a nerd and I hardly wear knickers now anyway.’

  ‘That’s true. I’m a bad influence on you but I am helping save the planet from unnecessary washing.’ Dan said.

  ‘That’s one way to look at it. Maybe you should start a campaign to stop women wearing knickers to save the environment.’

  Dan laughed. ‘I really like you you know?’

  ‘I know you do and I really like you too.’

  They lay in silence again. A comfortable one though, unlike before.

  ‘I think I should count him you know?’ Emma said.

  ‘Really? Why?’ Dan asked.

  ‘Well. I was a virgin before and I wasn’t afterwards. So, I must have had sex. So, I’ve got to count him really, haven’t I?’

  ‘If you look at it like that I guess you have to but I think it doesn’t count.’ Dan said.

  ‘I think it does but then I hate thinking about having to count him.’

  ‘Well let’s not count him. Its seven and to be honest, I’m not bothered.’

  ‘Really? Not at all?’ Emma asked.

  ‘Nope. All I want really is for both of us to stay the same number forever.’

  Emma laughed. ‘Your gorgeous you are you know?’

  ‘Gorgeous enough to be your last?’

  ‘Maybe, you big softy.’ Emma said.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Dan sat in darkness, his back to the only light sneaking in through the open door.

  ‘Are those eyes closed?’ Emma called from the kitchen.

  ‘Yes. Still closed.’ Dan answered.

  ‘Promise you’re not cheating?’ Emma said leaning into the doorway to check.

  ‘I promise I’m not cheating. They’re shut tight.’ Dan said scrunching up his eyes.

  ‘Ok then.’ Emma said as she walked through the doorway, a single candle stabbed into the body of a chocolate caterpillar flickered light onto her face. ‘I can sing if you like, it’ll be terrible but I can give it a go.’

  ‘No honestly, its ok, I’m good without the singing.’ Dan said laughing, eyes still closed.

  ‘Aww spoil sport.’ Emma said as she put the caterpillar on the table in front of Dan. ‘Ready?’

  ‘I’m ready.’ Dan answered, feeling a little worried about what the surprise could be.

  ‘Open your eyes then handsome.’ Emma said.

  Dan opened then and squinted as his eyes adjusted to the light. He chuckled when he saw the cake.

  ‘Blow it out and make a wish then.’ Emma said.

  Dan blew. The room went dark again for a moment before Emma clicked the light switch on.

  ‘You’re cute. A cake and everything.’ Dan smiled. ‘But why are you in a dressing gown this early?’

  ‘Ahh well that’s a secret but I got you a gift too. Do you want it?’ Emma asked.

  ‘Of course I do.’ Dan answered.

  ‘It’s a gift, you have to unwrap it.’ Emma said handing a small box wrapped in silver paper to Dan.

  ‘Oh, what is it?’ Dan said turning it over in his fingers.

  ‘I’ve told you, it’s a gift. You have to open it.’

  ‘Spoil sport.’ Dan said as he tore off the wrapping tape. ‘Cartier? What have you got me?’

  ‘I’ve told you, it’s a gift and you have to open it.’

  ‘You shouldn’t have spent this much though baby.’ Dan said looking at the small red box in his palm.

  ‘Oh, shush I should have spent much more but I thought you’d like these. Now stop stalling and open the bloody box will you.’

  ‘Ok then.’ Dan opened the box slowly. ‘Oh wow.’ He looked down at the small silver panther heads staring back at him with jade green eyes. ‘They’re gorgeous but you must have spent a fortune. You don’t have to do that you know?’

  ‘I know I didn’t have to but I wanted to. Don’t you like them or something?’ Emma asked growing concerned.

  ‘I love them. They’re beautiful and will go really nicely with my dark suit but I just don’t want you spending loads of money on me.’ Dan said.

  ‘I didn’t spend loads, I just wanted you to have something nice. I never get to give you much and you are always treating me to stuff. I just wanted to get you something.’

  Dan put the cufflink box on the table and turned in his seat to face Emma. ‘Babe. You do give me something. You give me plenty. You give me memories, really happy memories. That’s more than anyone else has and it’s worth more than anything you can buy.’

  ‘Oh. I don’t know what to say.’ Emma said. ‘That’s really lovely.’

  ‘It’s true though. I love the cufflinks, they’re gorgeous. It’s just that you can’t think you don’t give me anything. You give me everything. It’s like when I’m with you, it’s difficult to explain, but it’s like all our broken pieces fit together and you make me right. You make me more me and nobody has ever done anything like that for me before.’

  Emma stood still. She sighed as she thought about what she’d just heard, she walked to Dan. She stood in front of him as he looked up into her eyes. ‘I like you a lot, I really do.’

  ‘And I like you too and I love the cufflinks but mostly I really like you and how you make me feel.’

  ‘I’m going to go all soppy and start crying if you keep it up so it’s time for your last gift.’

  ‘Ok then, sorry babe.’ Dan said.

  ‘Don’t be sorry. It’s lovely but you don’t want tears tonight.’ Emma said.

  ‘Ok then, what is it.’

  Emma smiled and slowly untied her dressing gown, she pulled it open and let it slip from her shoulders.

  ‘Wow that’s even better than the cufflinks.’ Dan said brushing his fingers slowly up her legs, his fingertips traced the boundary where the black silk of her stockings met the softness of her thigh.

  ‘I went to Agent Provocateur again. You like?’ Emma asked.

  ‘Dan stood and answered by tangling his fingers into her hair and kissing her hard on the mouth. His other hand slid from the cup of her bra along her side to her hip, he bent and lifted her onto him.

  She lifted her legs and wrapped them around his waist, he stood holding her as their mouths stayed together.

  He turned and lowered her down, sitting her on the edge of the dining table as his fingers pushed aside the black silk of her panties.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Emma lay like a foetus with her knees
raised to her waist. Dan shadowed her body with his arm draped across her hip.

  ‘Is your arm ok?’ Emma asked lifting her head.

  ‘Yes, why do you keep asking?’ Dan said.

  ‘I’ve told you. Usually lad’s arms go dead and they moan. I don’t want you to get a dead arm.’ Emma said.

  ‘It’s fine honestly, you’ve only got a little head.’ Dan said running his hand up and down the shallow of her waist, his fingers slowly creeping down across her pelvis.

  Emma wriggled back into him. ‘My heads normal sized, it must be your arm. Got no feelings or something.’

  ‘My arm’s fine, it could be that you just dated weaklings before me.’ Dan said.

  ‘True. I did date some dickheads.’

  ‘How come?’ Dan asked as his fingers crept lower.

  ‘You can’t be horny again.’ Emma shook her head as she spoke.

  ‘What do you mean?’ Dan said sliding his fingers higher.

  ‘Well whenever you do that with your fingers a little while later I get a poke in the back.’

  ‘I don’t know what you mean.’ Dan said in his best innocent voice.

  ‘Yeah you do you dirty bugger.’ Emma said.

  ‘Well, maybe I do. Anyway, why did you date dickheads?’

  ‘I don’t know. I just ended up with them. It all went a bit fucked up after what happened.’ Emma said.

  ‘I’m sorry. We can change the subject if you like?’ Dan said hoping he didn’t ruin their evening with his stumbling questions.

  ‘No, its fine. I can’t change what happened and I’m happy now so its ok.’

  ‘You sure?’ Dan asked.

  ‘Yeah. I just kind of went off the rails a bit.’ Emma said.

  ‘What like drinking and stuff?’

  ‘Not right away. It was mostly my school work. I just couldn’t concentrate and I started hanging around with the wrong kids and then doing well in class wasn’t cool so it kinda fucked up my GCSE’s. I did well enough but it caused a lot of trouble with my parents. They thought I was just naughty.’

  ‘You didn’t tell them, did you?’ Dan asked.

  ‘No. They still don’t know and they don’t need to but I basically ended up with a few shitty boyfriends. Still, you live and learn, don’t you?’ Emma said.

  ‘Yeah and I think it’s better to learn your lessons when you’re younger. Unless they’re really bad I guess. Which yours was. I don’t know but like now you’ve got a job and everything and you can handle stuff others couldn’t. Does that make sense?’

  ‘Yeah it does. It’s shit at the time and sometimes it catches up with me but if it happened during my degree and I fucked that up it would’ve been much harder to catch up and then difficult to get a good job and stuff.’ Emma said.

  ‘Good. I didn’t know if I made sense and I didn’t want to make it sound like it was nothing.’ Dan said squeezing Emma close to him. He wrapped his arms around her chest like a spider catching a fly.

  She groaned in satisfaction. ‘You’re dead comfy you know.’

  ‘I’m just lay here. You’re the comfy one.’

  ‘Nah. I’ve never felt this comfy in bed with someone before.’

  ‘Well there’s no reason to leave for a while so we can enjoy it.’ Dan said.

  ‘Mmm hmm. Dead cosy.’ Emma said, her voice slow and mumbled.

  Dan smiled to himself, he loved to stay awake longer than her so he could feel her fall asleep and watch her breathe. He wouldn’t tell her she snored sometimes, nothing to disrupt his sleep but enough to know she was contented. She sounded more like a kitten purring than a rugby player sleeping off Guinness. He smiled when he felt her breathing begin to soften.

  Dan lay there, keeping her pulled tight against his body. He used his hand to brush her hair from her ear. He lifted his mouth to her neck and kissed her, he kissed her like a father kisses his child’s forehead. ‘He won’t get away with this.’ Dan whispered into her ear.

  Emma responded with a muffled word. Dan didn’t know what she meant or if she even understood him. He knew and he understood that nobody would get away with hurting her.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Emma opened the door to her apartment. It was dark and felt more empty than usual, almost like a show home. It had everything a home should have but only felt like a house. Emma wasn’t new to being alone, she had spent many nights alone in her flat but tonight felt different. Something was missing.

  She closed the door behind her and hung her jacket on the hook behind the door. Emma slipped off her heels and wriggled her toes enjoying the freedom. She walked through her apartment, her handbag went on the kitchen counter along with her keys. The bedroom was calling where she could slip into Dan’s shirt, get comfortable and catch up on Downton.

  Emma had her pencil skirt unzipped before she reached her bedroom, she shimmied it down over her hips. She stepped out of it and kicked it into her washing pile in the corner of her room. She popped the buttons of her blouse open and shrugged out of it leaving her in just her black bra and panties.

  She reached behind her back and popped open the clasp of her bra, she signed when it opened and slipped off her shoulders. Her favourite part of the day was that moment when her bra came off, it followed her other clothes into the pile.

  Dan’s shirt lay on the bed, she walked towards it but stopped when she saw herself in the full-length mirror built into her wardrobe. She turned towards it, cupped her breasts, lifted them and then let them down again. They were still ok but definitely starting to sink, she’d always wanted little perky ones but that measure had been passed by the time she reached eleven. She poked her stomach, it was in danger of moving from a tummy to a belly and no man wanted a belly slapping against them. Emma twisted and pinched at the flesh on her hip, she pulled at the skin determined to pinch an inch. She couldn’t allow herself to slide too far, Dan still wore the new relationship glasses but eventually the lenses would clear and she didn’t want him seeing a fatty when they did.

  She slipped on his shirt, glad she hadn’t bought that tub of Haagen-Dazs. The shirt felt soft against her skin and still smelled of him. Just wearing his shirt made her feel less alone, it felt like there was a little bit of him there with her.

  She walked into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of red wine and she carried it into her lounge. She sat down on her sofa and tucked her feet underneath her bum, Dan would probably moan about her knees but she was comfortable. Emma clicked her remote and the box set came on, she had two episodes left on the disc which was good because she really didn’t want to get up again. The show started and she watched, eager to learn what would happen with Anna and Mr Bates.

  The wine was good, cheap from Asda but supposedly the best in the world. It was certainly hitting the spot and soothing away the stresses of the day. She was relaxing nicely but her mind just wouldn’t turn off, it felt crunchy, like a pan scourer being rubbed against a pane of glass. Something wasn’t right and then she realised what it was, it was Dan. She missed him and knew it was more than she should.

  Their first night had been amazing but then what woman wouldn’t find a chance encounter with a handsome stranger snowed in a Parisian apartment amazing. He would have had to have been the worst lover ever to ruin that romance novel and he was the opposite. The first night had felt like a fantasy, a dream sequence, something imagined not real.

  The second night had confused her. It had been as good as the first. Every night had been. He kissed her immediately, in a way they made her feel desired not rushed. She knew he struggled to wait long enough for her to remove her coat before he pounced on her. When her previous lovers did that she felt like that was all they wanted, when he did it she felt like she was all he wanted.

  He put her in a bubble of pure passion and desire, burning inside her but filling the room. When the passion and desire were sated the bubble filled with easy conversation and gentle teasing.

  Her bed felt empty without him. She felt like a child in
a king size, too small to get warm and too scared to check underneath for monsters. He filled the bed and made her feel safe. It was too soon to be having the feelings she knew were growing but there was no way she could deny how he made her feel.

  Wanted and desired, vulnerable and safe. They were new feelings and her first taste was enough to have her hooked. The way his shirt sleeves hung down from her arms, the way he held her in bed. It was perfect and she needed to feel it forever.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Her phone buzzed beside her, she answered on the second buzz. ‘Hello babe. Everything ok?’

  ‘Of course it is, why?’ Dan said switching his iPhone to speaker and setting it on his desk beside his coffee.

  ‘Nothing, sorry. I just wasn’t expecting a call.’ Emma could already feel this would be bad news.

  ‘Can you talk?’ Dan asked.

  ‘Yeah sure, I’m just watching Downton.’

  ‘I can call back after if you like?’ Dan said.

  ‘No no it’s ok, it’s a Blu-ray. I’ll just pause it.’ Emma pressed pause and put the remote back beside her on the cushion. This was how it would end, part way through an episode of Downton Abbey.

  ‘Ok then. I’ve never watched it, is it good?’

  ‘Yeah, it’s good, I like period stuff though.’ Emma’s stomach churned, she wanted Dan to hurry up and say it but she didn’t want to hear it.

  ‘I like some period stuff but I think it’s mainly for women. All the old books that get put on TV are usually romances.’

  ‘Maybe, I don’t know. Are you ok?’ She was distracted and needed to get past the small talk.

  ‘Yes. Why do you keep asking that? I just fancied a chat.’

  ‘Oh ok, is something wrong?’ Emma asked.

  ‘No. I’m fine. Why would something be wrong?’ Dan said confused that Emma sounded nervous.

  ‘It’s just that usually this is the time I get the call telling me how things aren’t working. Its ok if that’s the case, just tell me please.’ Emma said.

  ‘No nothing like that, do you think it’s not working or something? I think things are going well. Really well. I just missed you and wanted to talk.’