Someday in Paris

by Olivia Lara

  Turn around; look at me. Turn around, she kept repeating in her head like he could hear her. She walked outside. She didn’t care that it was raining, and cold, and she was only wearing a short-sleeve blouse. She took another step towards him. A car honked. And then a woman with a large umbrella covering her face walked up to the man and jumped into his arms. They were a couple. And that woman looked – well, she looked like Dominique never would. Her clothes, her demeanor. Like a princess.

  Dominique watched motionlessly as they kissed and walked away together. She stood there, with water dripping on her face and tears running down her cheeks. Her heart crumpled. She felt sad and lonely. And empty.

  *

  ‘What were you doing in New York?’ asks Valerie.

  ‘By then I was in my third year at NYU. English Literature.’

  ‘English Literature. Really? How did that happen?’

  ‘When it was time to apply for college, I didn’t really know which way to go, but I figured that I would be alright if I followed in my mother’s footsteps. It just seemed like the common-sense choice. Besides, books and libraries had always been a part of my life, so, in my young mind, it made sense. And if you’re wondering why I was cleaning windows, I got a scholarship and lived on campus, but I worked in that diner, every day after school to make some money. I didn’t want to burden Lisa more than I already had.’

  Valerie smiles. ‘And I’m also wondering about something else.’

  ‘Why New York of all places?’

  ‘Are you a mind reader?’

  ‘No, just old,’ I say. ‘And yes, a part of me hoped. He’d said he wanted to study business, like his father, and he was from New York. NYU and a few other universities had a business major. All the roads lead there. But it never happened.’

  ‘And now we know why.’

  ‘Now, yes.’

  ‘That day, on the street, did you know it was him? Do you think he knew who you were?’

  Her eyes are desperate for answers, but some questions are better answered by ourselves. When we’re ready.

  ‘I think our hearts knew. But we are rational beings, and it’s hard to put away all your fears and doubts and believe in something you can’t see. We need proof – that’s how we’re raised.’

  She sits again. I know it’s hard to understand and it’s frustrating for her. She sees both sides of the story. But I didn’t. I only knew my side.

  PART IV

  ‘Try to reason about love and you will lose your reason.’ — Stanislas Jean de Boufflers

  ALEXANDER

  5 OCTOBER 1960

  PARIS

  That evening in New York, Nicole and Alexander went out for one drink, which turned into many more and a three-hour conversation. It was good to see her and spend time together. He knew he had missed her, but only after sitting at that table, across from her, laughing at her crazy stories and adventures, did he realize how much. Nicole had always given color to his life.

  ‘Glitz and glamor,’ as she always said.

  At one point, she asked him, matter-of-factly, ‘What’s stopping us now? You’re single, I’m single.’

  ‘Well, for one, a few thousand miles,’ said Alexander with a laugh.

  ‘Eh, that’s nothing,’ responded Nicole without even taking a moment to think about it. ‘I’ll just go with you.’

  ‘You’d do that?’ he asked, in disbelief.

  ‘Unless you don’t want me to.’

  ‘No, I – of course I would.’

  She leaned over and kissed him. Like she meant it.

  ‘Ah, young love,’ a woman from a nearby table said. ‘Remember when we were like that?’

  It was like a whirlwind. One second he was single, searching for a woman in a red coat in rainy New York and feeling his life had turned into a sad, 1940s black and white movie, and the next he was jumping in a yellow cab with flamboyant, beautiful Nicole, rushing to her apartment and helping her pack so she could come with him to France. As his girlfriend.

  *

  On their way to Paris and for the first time in forever, JJ didn’t seem upset with Nicole. They all sat together, talked and laughed all through the long flight to France. It felt like everything had fallen into place, and like Nicole had said to Alexander just a few hours before, the world made sense again. For all of them.

  JJ insisted Nicole stayed with him, just like Alexander, and she didn’t fight him on it. On the contrary, she thanked him.

  The next night, after JJ’s auction was over, he took them both to a restaurant to celebrate winning the painting he had been hunting for half a decade.

  ‘And I have one more reason to celebrate,’ he said, visibly emotional.

  Both Alexander and Nicole raised their glasses, expectantly.

  ‘I am here with my daughter and my godson, my family and my favorite people in the world, and I couldn’t be happier. I didn’t think the day when we would all sit together would come anytime soon, and I am beyond thankful.’

  When Nicole excused herself and went to the powder room, JJ pulled Alexander close.

  ‘I have always hoped you two—’ He cleared his throat. ‘You’re going to be good for her. Thank you for giving me my daughter back,’ he said, his voice shaky.

  Alexander smiled and squeezed his arm, trying to suppress the feeling that this was all happening a little too quickly.

  It was maybe two days later that he received an unexpected visit.

  Standing in front of JJ’s door was Vincent.

  ‘Hi,’ said Alexander, completely taken by surprise. ‘What brings you—’

  He didn’t get a chance to finish when Vincent’s fist connected with his nose. It almost knocked him over.

  ‘What the—’

  He put his hand under his nose, which was already pouring with blood. And it hurt really bad.

  His first reaction was to punch Vincent back, but he was so shocked, he simply stood there waiting to see what happened next.

  ‘You rat!’ said Vincent, his face so red he looked like he was about to burst. ‘I could squash you right now. Like the bug that you are!’

  Vincent was furious. But, for some reason, Alexander wasn’t. He was confused and in pain, but that first instinct to hit Vincent back was now gone, replaced by curiosity.

  ‘Let me know when you’re done with the insults, so we can talk. If you tell me what your problem is—’

  ‘What my problem is? What my problem is? Are you mocking me? Do you think you’re funny?’

  Alexander shrugged. ‘I have no idea what this is about. Did I do anything to you? I mean, anything new? Or is this just the culmination of all those years when you passively hated me?’

  ‘I should’ve given you a proper beating back then. If only I’d known it would come down to this. But you tricked me with your embarrassing story about that girl in France… I really believed you had no intention of taking Nico from me.’

  ‘This is about Nicole?’

  ‘What else do you think this is about? Your pathetic little existence is not worth my attention for anything else. I saw you,’ he hissed and his face, which had seemed to go back to a normal color a few seconds before, was now bright red again.

  When it seemed like he was about to hit Alexander again, he moved to the side.

  ‘Calm down. You saw me where? Doing what?’

  ‘Don’t act dumb with me. I saw you in New York, kissing Nico.’

  ‘So what?’ said Alexander, starting to get annoyed. ‘You two aren’t together anymore.’

  Vincent started laughing maniacally. ‘Obviously. We’re not together now.’

  ‘Huh?’

  ‘Don’t pretend like you didn’t know. All I got after all these years of being with her was a lousy phone call to tell me she wasn’t coming back anymore. That she had come to Paris with you.’

  ‘I don’t get it. How—’ Then he stopped. ‘Wait a minute. You were still together?’

  ‘You’re acting dumb again. I don’t l
ike it when people lie to my face.’

  ‘Vincent, I didn’t know. If this is true, I didn’t know. Nicole said—’

  ‘I am not in the mood for more lies. What kind of man are you? What kind of woman would even look at such a man? You’re pathetic.’

  ‘Look, Vincent, I’m serious—’

  ‘I should just beat you up and leave you here for dead. The only reason I’m not doing it is because I don’t want to go to jail because of you. You’re not worth it and obviously she’s not worth it either. I am disgusted with you both.’

  He turned to leave, then turned back to face Alexander. ‘How much fun you must’ve had, all those years, laughing behind my back. Stupid Vincent, eh? Were you waiting for the perfect moment to strike? You couldn’t have done it when we were all kids – no, of course not. It wouldn’t have destroyed me enough. Did you two plan this whole thing? How much you must’ve hated me. But you know what, rat? This will not destroy me. And we’ll see who has the last laugh,’ he said through his teeth.

  Then he shoved Alexander and walked away.

  Alexander was shaken up by his encounter with Vincent. Not because he had feared for his life, but because his relationship with Nicole was so new, so fragile. He’d never thought they would start it with a lie. And a lie of those proportions. He decided to take Nicole out for lunch and find out what truly happened, without JJ there to witness it. He asked in three different ways about her breakup with Vincent but didn’t get a straight answer from her. Realizing he wasn’t getting anywhere, he had no other choice but to tell her about Vincent’s visit.

  Her face lost color almost instantly.

  ‘You told me you hit yourself on a door when I asked what happened to your face.’

  ‘I didn’t want to cause a scene and involve JJ.’ He looked at her. ‘Was Vincent telling the truth?’

  She shook her head but didn’t say anything for quite a while.

  ‘The truth… the truth is he wanted us to get married. We had talked about the future a few times and to be honest, everyone expected us to. Even you, I think. But I knew I couldn’t get married to him. The truth is when we met in New York, I was on my way to meet him and end our relationship. I did love him, you see; I did, but I couldn’t marry him. I don’t even know if I am the marrying type. There was always something that kept me from loving him fully and from seeing myself as his wife. And while it was okay when we were younger, after things got serious, I couldn’t go through with it. It just wouldn’t have worked out.’

  Listening to her talk about Vincent, Alexander wondered if it had been his fault it hadn’t worked out between Nicole and Vincent. What if he was to Nicole what Zara was to him? That unfinished business, that childhood love you’d do anything for?

  DOMINIQUE

  1 DECEMBER 1960

  NEW YORK CITY

  Months after seeing that man on the street, Dominique still thought about him. She wondered what he looked like. She should’ve gone to him. At least seen his face. Heard his voice. She had made a mistake. What if it was him? What if the reason she felt the way she felt was because he was Leon? What if she never got another chance?

  She was just a couple of weeks into the second semester of her third year at university when, one night, she had a dream. A reverie. She recognized the special dreams. She was sitting on a wooden bench, in a large, rather cold room. In front of her was a painting covering an entire wall. A blue, purple, and green painting. She had never seen it before, but the style was familiar.

  She woke up troubled by the dream. It was him. He was somewhere, looking at that painting. Or was it all in her imagination? Was she driving herself crazy?

  The next night, she had the dream again. Only that this time, it was dark outside and the room was lit by soft yellow lights. The painting. It was so beautiful. A tree. Yes, the green in her dream was a tree. And the blue was water. A tree by the water.

  She stared at it, but instead of feeling happy, she felt lonely. Directionless.

  She woke up.

  The next night, the same thing happened. Dominique knew she couldn’t ignore the dreams anymore. She had to find out more about the painting. What if it was at the Met or somewhere close? What if he went there to look at it and she found him there?

  Dominique went to the library, not knowing what to look for at first. She had the painting memorized. It was only a few minutes into looking at a catalog of paintings at the Met when she realized why that painting seemed familiar. She recognized the style. It was a Monet. She asked the librarian for help in finding all the museums that had Monet paintings on display, but it proved to be a much harder task than she thought. There were hundreds if not thousands of museums, all around the world.

  She looked at New York museums. Nothing. Other American museums. No, it wasn’t there. The next logical place for a Monet painting, the one that should’ve been the first step: France.

  Day after day, she looked for it, in all the catalogs and eventually, she found it.

  Water-Lilies, Reflection of a Weeping Willow. The Louvre, Paris.

  She didn’t need to think about what to do next. It was all clear now. Dominique ran back to the campus and called Lisa.

  ‘Please, don’t be mad at me. I know what I’m about to do is hard to understand. But I have to do this.’

  She explained to Lisa what had happened. Her aunt didn’t encourage her, but she didn’t try to stop her either. Over the years, they had had so many conversations about the dreams and her belief that he was somewhere out there, that Lisa knew not to try and convince her.

  ‘Are you dropping out of school?’

  ‘To be honest, I don’t belong here. I tried, but it’s not for me.’

  ‘Then what is for you?’

  ‘Not sure, but I hope this trip will give me the answers I’ve been looking for. I’ve felt so lost for such a long time.’

  ‘All I ever want is for you to be happy, Dominique. If going back to France is what you need, I will support you. Do you need money? How will you pay for your ticket?’

  ‘I have some savings from my paychecks. It’s not a lot, but it should get me to Paris. And with a bit of luck I’ll have enough for a room somewhere.’

  ‘Out of the question. Go live with Constance. She’d be happy to have company.’

  Constance’s husband had died a year before. He was found stabbed in a back alley in Montreuil. The police said he owed money to the wrong kind of people. He did owe money, money that Constance had to give back after his death. To banks, to creditors. Their situation was not at all as good as he’d painted it to be. They were drowning in debt.

  ‘Yes, I could do that,’ said Dominique, relieved she didn’t have to be all alone in Paris.

  ‘What if you can’t find him?’ asked her aunt.

  ‘I will keep trying until I do,’ said Dominique, finally feeling she was fighting for what she wanted. ‘I should’ve done this earlier. Much earlier.’

  ‘You were just a child, honey. Look, do what you think you need to do, and should you decide to come back, I’ll be waiting for you, alright?’

  Dominique packed that night and camped out in the airport until the next flight to Paris.

  She was going to find him. It was meant to be. Just like her mother found her father.

  ALEXANDER

  1 DECEMBER 1960

  PARIS

  It was December now and they had been together almost three months.

  Nicole was bigger than life, as she had always been. Bubbly, chatty, she occupied the majority of his time. When he wasn’t at school, he was with her. And she always had something planned for them. He couldn’t complain about getting bored, because every day with her was different.

  Nicole made friends easily – she always had – and soon Alexander found himself surrounded by Paris socialites, dragged to brunches and dinners, whisked away to Chamonix for weekends of ski, and Monaco for wild parties. These people, although there was nothing wrong with them, weren’t necessa
rily friends he would’ve picked for himself. He didn’t feel like he belonged in their world. Yes, he’d never lacked for money. But it was different for them. Their lives revolved around money, and they had a fondness for fast cars, expensive clothes, luxury boats and houses.

  One evening he was lying on the bed, almost too exhausted to move after one of Nicole’s socially active days. She’d taken him to a brunch with her friends, then shopping, then to dinner with other friends. He barely escaped a night out. She lay on the bed next to him, and he turned to her.

  ‘We’re so different, do you realize that? You love the attention, the glamor, the fast life. Just like your friends. I don’t… not really. Why would you ever want to be with someone like me?’

  Nicole smiled. ‘Do you remember when we were kids, and we used to lie on my bed like this?’

  He nodded.

  ‘And do you remember talking about growing up and what we would do?’

  Leon remembered parts of it. It was such a long time ago.

  ‘We used to say it would just be you and me against the world. And we said we’d live in an apartment just like our parents, one with tall windows that overlooked the Empire State Building. And we would get many dogs and cats and—’

  He started laughing. ‘Dogs and cats,’ he repeated as he continued laughing.

  ‘That’s not funny,’ she said.

  ‘We were seven,’ he said, a bit more serious now. ‘What did we know about the world?’

  ‘We knew enough,’ she replied and kissed him.

  So he thought to himself, I’ll try harder. Because she deserves it. It wasn’t her fault he was the way he was.

  ‘Prickly’, she teased.

  The truth was, it was more than that. Alexander often felt troubled and tormented. And when that happened, and he sensed the sadness coming, he didn’t want to be surrounded by people. They made him tired. He preferred to be alone. Sometimes, when he felt that and he couldn’t escape, he’d just stop whatever he was doing and leave. He’d go to one of his favorite museums, either the Louvre or Marmottan, sit on a bench in front of a painting and, for some reason, it made him feel better. The silence. The peace. It was comforting. It had happened many times before Nicole came back into his life and it continued to happen now.