by J Hoffman
Natalee smiled, “I am so proud of you! That’s fantastic.”
“It felt amazing. It still feels amazing. I hope I can do it again.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised if you could, this stuff just amplifies everything you can do. It always feels great.”
“So, what was so important this morning?”
Natalee took a deep breath and shot him a look, “Svetlana made it.”
“Yeah? That’s good. How was her poorly timed flight?”
“Fine, apparently. But not comfortable,” Natalee rolled her eyes.
He smirked, “I can’t believe it.”
“She brought three of these bushes.”
“Wow, that was generous of her.”
Natalee held her finger up, asking him to stop. “They came with a price this time.”
“A price? Okay, I mean, that makes sense. She did fly here with it.”
“She wants ten thousand dollars.”
Judah stared at the garage wall before them and silently slid the car in reverse and backed out into the road. He slid the car into drive without saying a word. Once they were a few blocks away from their home, he peered at Natalee at a stop sign.
“What was that?”
Natalee looked at him slightly confused, wondering how he could just slip in and out of their conversation like that.
“I said she wants ten thousand dollars.”
“You said…” Judah paused, “How much?”
“Ten thousand dollars, Judah.”
“For a few plants?”
“No, for one plant.”
“For one-,” Judah shook his head and turned on the radio. He was silent until they arrived at Git’R’Grub. He pulled her chair out for her and scooted her in once she sat down. He sat down across from her and studied her face for a moment before speaking, “Svetlana flew out here on a tiny, uncomfortable airplane. Landed at four in the morning to bring you less than a handful of plants. Tells us nearly nothing about the plant and one of the things she tells us turned out to not be true. She comes here, and sits in our house, and dangles these plants in front of your face, and asks you for most people’s yearly income all in one go?”
Natalee took a deep breath, “Well, she didn’t dangle them. They were sitting in the duffle bag, but yeah most of that sounds about right.”
“Thirty thousand dollars?”
“Thirty thousand. She didn’t seem too negotiable either.”
“And on what premise does she think this is a sufficient number?”
“Based on the prices I’ve been selling them at.”
“But you’ve only made two transactions.”
“Apparently that was enough for her to decide she wants ten grand for each one.”
Judah stayed quiet until the waiter arrived. He ordered coffee and orange juice for both of them and the breakfast platter for them to split.
“Liz thinks it’s a great deal.”
Judah nodded slowly, “We don’t have thirty grand, Nat.”
“Well, about that,” Natalee took another deep breath, not breaking eye contact with her husband. “Svetlana said she would stay here until we had the money for them and then she’d go back to Russia.”
Judah nodded slowly again, looking at her. The waiter delivered their coffee and orange juice, but Judah waved him off before he could say a word.
“How much is a bush worth?”
“I can’t say for sure as I haven’t counted the branches, but Svetlana estimates there to be around two hundred per bush.”
“Per bush?” Judah had to restrain from losing the coffee in his mouth.
Natalee nodded and continued, “Yes, and our most recent sale was three hundred dollars a bag. Given her estimation is right, if we lower that to one fifty a bag, we will make the thirty grand, plus profit fifteen, in exactly one bush. That leaves us with two full bushes and the rest of the gift bush at home to profit from.”
Judah nodded, “Let’s do it.”
Natalee stared at him for a moment before taking a sip of her own coffee. She set it down and reached across the table to grab his hand, “I don’t know where this is taking us, but I’m happy that you are on board.”
Judah squeezed her hand back, “There is no one I’d rather be on this adventure with, Nat.”
“Even though Svetlana will be in the house until we come up with that much, it almost sounds too good to be true.”
Judah shrugged, “And maybe it is, but, if you think about it, what do we have to lose here? It’s not illegal and we didn’t put any of our own money into it.”
Natalee nodded, “Yeah, I like that perspective.”
“Isn’t my perspective always the best?” Judah smiled slyly.
Natalee nodded as she stirred in some extra cream, “Of course, why do you think I married you? It was solely for the perspective.”
“Oh, was that it?”
She teased, “Well, duh.”
The waiter delivered their food and didn’t wait to be waved off by either of them before he headed to another table. They ate peacefully and before leaving, Judah slid a twenty-dollar bill under his plate, with a note saying “Sorry I was rude, I was having a very important conversation with my wife. I know money doesn’t make up for attitude, but at least now you can have a drink on me to forget about it.”
“What if he doesn’t drink?” Natalee asked as she read over his words.
“Then he can have a smoke or a new pair of socks. I don’t care, I just know I was rude, and I have to make up for it.”
Natalee slid her arm into the crook of his elbow, “You truly are a saint.”
“No, no,” he patted her hand. “I’m just a man in love with a woman who sells bushes as drugs for a living.”
Natalee snorted, “I thought we agreed they are not drugs.”
He shrugged, “Maybe they are, maybe they aren’t. Only the government can tell us now.”
Thirty
Back at the house, Svetlana and Yana were still sleeping. Natalee took the downtime to call Liz and tell her the news. Natalee wasn’t sure if it was good or bad yet, but she knew she had to tell her.
Liz was ecstatic, to say the least. Her hooting and hollering through the phone could be heard throughout the entire first floor of the house, and probably halfway up the stairs, too. Natalee rubbed her forehead, hoping the screaming would stop before her headache started.
“I just don’t know how long this is going to take and that’s my concern.”
“Well, let me get the word out and we should have an estimated date by the end of the week, I’d assume.”
“Liz, it’s Thursday.”
“Alright, so give me until tomorrow, duh. How are those leaves coming along?”
“Oh, they’re dry. Dry as fuck.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
Natalee stepped up to the bush on her window sill and pressed her finger against one of the leaves spread out in the sun. It crumbled into tiny little pieces at her touch. “Obviously these leaves were the least of my worries, Liz.”
“Whatever. Start pulling branches, I’ll be over in a bit to bag them up.”
“Okay, we’ll talk then. Bye.” She set the phone down on the counter and pulled the bush from its place. She sat down at the breakfast bar and started picking branches off the bush, one by one.
“More sales already?” Svetlana’s voice startled Natalee. She turned around, grabbing her chest.
“Holy shit, you’re like a fox!”
Svetlana grinned, “I have been told that before.”
Natalee took a few deep breaths to calm herself down and Svetlana crossed the kitchen to sit with her. “These are actually back orders. We needed forty-nine and only had fifteen we were willing to part with.”
“How many did you keep for yourself?”
“Twenty-one. A week’s worth for me, Judah and Liz.”
Svetlana nodded slowly, “Now, why do you eat the leaf?”
“Oh, I don’t
eat it.”
Svetlana shot her a look of shock, “What? You do not eat it?”
“No, I put the dried, crushed leaf in a bottle of water.”
Svetlana tilted her head to the side, confused. “Dried? Crushed?”
Natalee stared at her for a moment, trying to figure out where they weren’t connecting. She stood and walked back to the window sill. She gently picked up a leaf and brought it back to the breakfast bar. “See? It’s dried out. So, then I,” Natalee pressed her finger onto it, and it crumbled into a bunch of tiny little pieces. She pulled her hang back to show Svetlana the leaf. Svetlana leaned down and examined it closely.
“And you do not get sick?”
“Nope!” Natalee exclaimed. “So far, none of us have and I’ve been taking it the longest.”
“How long have you been taking it this way?” Svetlana inquired.
“Probably since a few days after you left, honestly. I just figured I’d try it and then you said not to eat them because they’d make you sick by the third day, but I was already like five days into it at that point.”
“In Russia, we have only eaten them…” Svetlana searched for a word for a moment. “Ripe. Not dry, like this. May I try?”
Natalee nodded, “Absolutely! Have you eaten a branch yet today?”
“No, I have just woken up.”
“That’s the best time I’ve learned,” Natalee handed her a branch she had already snapped off and she grabbed a bottle of lightly hinted fruit water. She scraped the crushed leaf off the counter, into the bottle. She handed the bottle to Svetlana who was just finishing up her branch when she took a big swig of the water.
“I usually take about an hour to drink it, but there have been days I’ve chugged it and days I’ve sipped on it all day. I haven’t had any adverse reactions whatsoever.”
“I wonder if others know about this,” Svetlana speculated.
“I don’t know. We tried to search for information on the internet and at least on our American internet, we couldn’t find much at all. Only one actual article was written in a scholar journal back in the seventies.”
“This water is so good,” she gasped after a huge gulp.
“I thought you just drank vodka in Russia, no water,” Natalee teased.
“There is water in vodka, Natty. Water and potatoes.”
Natalee rolled her eyes, “Talk about a meal in a bottle.”
Svetlana held her water bottle up high, smiling, “I think you are onto something here, Natalee. We will see in two days.”
“Yes! I would love your perspective on it too.”
“Have you spoken with Judah?”
“Yep, and we would like to accept your offer,” Natalee tugged at a piece of hair hanging off her shoulder. She bit the inside of her cheek and tried to exhale through her nose. She was feeling quite anxious about the entire situation, but she couldn’t show it at this point.
“And you are okay with the price?”
“Well, no. Thirty grand for three bushes? Sounds outrageous. But,” Natalee held her hands up. “Business is business and I respect that.”
“I think you should continue on this endeavor but stay away from the sales aspect. You just own the bushes. Make Liz handle all the dirty work.”
“Yeah, I think that’s our agreement, honestly. She’s been doing everything so far.”
“I see a lot of money in your future Natalee, and a lot of pain if you do not do this correctly.”
Natalee raised an eyebrow, “What is that supposed to mean?”
Svetlana took another long sip of her water and smiled. She tipped the bottle toward her, “I have faith in you, Natalee.”
Natalee stared at her for a moment as she walked toward the stairs and headed to the second floor.
“What the fuck…?” She muttered to herself.
Natalee sat alone in the kitchen wondering if Svetlana would ever go further into that statement but assumed not. Just as she started snapping branches off again, her phone vibrated in a familiar pattern. She picked it up and held it to her ear, “Talk to me.”
“Are you sitting down?” Liz’s voice exploded through the phone.
“Uh, yeah, actually.”
“In addition to the thirty-four orders from before, we now have sixty-eight more.”
Natalee stared at the small bush in front of her, her mouth went dry almost immediately. She tried to lick her lips, but they were practically stuck together. “What?” She croaked out.
“Sixty-eight.”
“More?”
“More,” Liz cooed.
“Oh my God….”
“Better get to pruning, bitch!” Liz cackled as she hung up the phone.
Natalee knew Liz would be there any minute, so she set the bush up in the dining room. She sat down with her coffee and stared at the bush. “How are you so amazing?” She felt slightly insane talking to a plant but couldn’t find her answers anywhere else. “How are you worth so much money? Do people really spend ten grand on you? Why do you only grow in Russia?”
Judah turned the corner, coming in from the garage, “Who are you talking…” He looked from the bush to his wife and back again. “Oh, I’ll leave you two alone.”
Natalee smiled up at him, “We have sixty-eight new orders in addition to our back orders.”
Judah stared at her for a moment, “What?”
“Yes,” Natalee nodded, recognizing his shock.
He leaned down on the dining room table and brought his face close to the leaves of the bush. He leaned in and kissed it gently before eyeing it again, “I love you, little bush.”
Natalee snorted, “Now who looks crazy.”
“So, is that at three hundred apiece?”
“I…” she paused, in thought. “Don’t know, actually.”
“Well, that’s kind of important.”
“Agreed, it is very important.”
Liz waltzed through the door like she was home, “Who is the greatest bush seller of all time?” She twirled in a circle until she made it to the dining room. “Me! That’s who!”
Judah rolled his eyes dramatically. “I’m out,” He kissed Natalee and smiled, “I love you more than your little bush.”
“That was inappropriate.” Liz scolded.
“He meant-“ Liz held up her hand to stop Natalee.
“I don’t care. A hundred and two orders,” Liz squealed.
“Yeah, how much?”
“Two seventy-five.”
“What? Where did that number come from?”
Liz shrugged, “I appealed to Shananne and dropped the price.”
“And she was happy with that?”
“Oh, more than happy. She actually said she wanted to buy a month’s supply this time.”
“Seriously? She’s a fiend.”
“Better than the last thing she was fiending for,” Liz shrugged.
Natalee watched her for a moment before turning back to the korenchudo. She nodded toward it, “Well, let’s get to snapping.”
“So, we once again do not have enough leaves to fill this order.”
“I’m sure Shananne can hold off a few days.”
Natalee nodded, “Alright well, here we go.”
They made forty-eight bags and made an agreement to meet Shananne later that day. After they met her, they reconvened to count the cash. Both Liz and Natalee agreed to not take any money from the bush until they had completely paid Svetlana so they would have full profit after that.
Collecting thirteen thousand, two hundred dollars in one go was incredibly exhilarating for both of them. They wanted to rush right back to the spa but knew it would be best if they held off. They put the money in a safe in the garage until there was enough for Svetlana. They continued to dry leaves every day and met with Shananne once or twice a week until she had enough of a stockpile of her own to rely on.
Business was growing, and it was growing quickly. Within two weeks, they were filling more than twenty orders a day. The mo
ney came quickly, and they paid off Svetlana before she could overstay her welcome. Natalee and Liz were on top of the world. Judah was running his promotion like it was exactly where he was meant to be.
He had perfected the landings and the takeoffs, every time. His gauges never went to red and he was never overtired or overworked. Natalee finally felt like she was contributing something to her family, she felt more comfortable in her own home, and in her own skin.
One night, a few weeks after they had been gaining nothing but profit, around a quarter ‘til eleven, there was a knock at the door. Natalee peered at it for a moment, wondering who it could possibly be. Svetlana was back in Russia with Yana, Jonah was up in his room, Judah was forty minutes away from Cleveland and Liz was home enjoying her copious amounts of children. She watched the door, hoping they would leave. She was uncomfortable being home alone with someone at the door so late, and unexpectedly at that.
After a moment of silence, Natalee stood to walk toward the foyer, intending to peek out of the side window to make sure they were gone before she took herself to bed to be scared in the comfort of her own sheets.
A few steps away from the door, an insistent pounding came from the other side. It was more rushed than before and much louder. Natalee jumped, clutching her chest, absolutely petrified. She took another step closer as the pounding intensified. Finally, Natalee took a huge, deep breath as she swung the door open as fast as she could.
A woman stood on the other side, looking just as petrified as Natalee. Her hair was long and stringy, her arms were covered in dark purple bulges. She scratched the inside of her wrist as she looked at Natalee with deep, sunken eyes.
“Hey, you the MOTY?”
Natalee stared at her for a moment, unable to speak.
“I heard you could fix me.” Her voice was gravelly and made her sound older than she looked.
Natalee stared at her another moment longer before swinging the door closed with a loud slam. She locked the deadbolt and the handle lock. She pushed her back up against the door as if the woman outside was going to barge in at any moment. Natalee stared into her home, looking around for something, anything that she could use to defend herself. The woman didn’t seem as dangerous as Natalee felt she was at that moment, but she felt violated.