by Emma Easter
Her eyes pooled with tears again as she thought of how he had looked at her with such desire, especially at that breakfast they’d had together at the hotel. And he had held her so tenderly on the day she’d moved out of her old apartment. But clearly, it was all part of his kind nature. She looked around her posh apartment. Sofia had said that he’d done all this for her because he liked her, but she wasn’t so sure anymore. In fact, she was sure that wasn’t the case, at least not the kind of ‘like’ that she wanted.
She remembered the look on his face when she had gone to the hotel and the way he had looked at her when she had taken his hand. Now she knew it all meant nothing. She had gone to comfort him because of his wife’s death, and clearly, he was still grieving for the woman. He was still in love with his late wife. She did not blame him for that. His wife had been dead for less than a year and she had only been reacquainted with him for a few days.
But that did not change how much she was hurting. Even though they had only been reacquainted for a few days, all the feelings she’d harbored for him when they were growing up had come rushing back and were much stronger and more mature now. He’d said he would miss her, but that did not mean much considering his thoughtful personality. He had his kids to think about, his late wife to grieve. Lily sighed sadly. He would go back to California and forget about her. She had seen it written in his eyes.
What did you expect, Lily? That Taylor Dalton, the richest and most handsome man in Fallow Creek, would fall hopelessly in love with you within just a few days and then confess his undying love for you? She smiled in self-mockery. That happened in fairy tales, but not in real life, at least not to people like her. She’d thought they couldn’t be together because he was married. But finding out he wasn’t had made no difference, because he might as well still be. His heart was closed to every woman except his late wife.
Why, oh why had he told her he was now single? Maybe if she still believed he was married, the fact that he was leaving tomorrow would hurt less. Now that she knew he was single, she would never be able to forget him. She would not be able to get out of her mind what would have been if only his feelings had matched hers.
Fresh tears fell down her cheeks, and she wiped them away again. No matter how difficult it would be, she would have to learn to forget about him. She had no choice.
She pressed her lips tightly together as pain twisted her heart. When he left for California tomorrow, she... Her mouth fell open as the door opened and Taylor walked in. She blinked and stared at him. She had not considered that he would come here looking for her. But here he was. He looked worried as he gazed down at her, and she could not take her eyes off his.
“Lily, you’ve been crying,” he said. “I’m sorry for what I said. I know I hurt you.” He walked over, sat beside her on the couch, and pulled her into his arms.
She closed her eyes, buried her head into his chest, and wrapped her arms around him. Lord, why did he come? This would only make things worse when he left tomorrow.
He stroked her hair while she held him tightly. His heart was beating fast against her. She sighed, wishing she could remain in his arms forever but knowing she had to pull away after what he’d told her. Their mutual physical attraction had clearly not disappeared. There was an element of danger with him here in her apartment. It was better he left now since he was not genuinely interested in her. She pulled back slightly from him and looked into his eyes. The look he gave her sent her pulse racing.
She trembled as they sat gazing into each other’s eyes, his arms loosely around her. She wanted to tell him it was best for him to go now, but she couldn’t bring herself to do so. She gazed at his lips. Everything in her wanted him to hold her tightly and kiss her. She wanted to hear him say that he had fallen hopelessly in love with her. But she knew it was just a dream. She’d been wrong about his attraction and desire for her, though it seemed real and palpable now. But her feelings for him were definitely different from his for her. Their intense physical attraction and desire for each other were not enough.
He suddenly drew her close and held her tightly in his arms. She gasped and looked into his eyes, and then knew she was in trouble. They both were.
But this time, she didn’t care. She was itching to draw even closer to him even though she could now feel his heart beating against hers. Waves of pleasure washed through her as he kissed her nose and her temples. When he brushed his thumb across her lips, she trembled. Her heart began to pound in anticipation as he bent his head and brushed his lips against her cheeks. His lips lightly touched hers, and she groaned in disappointment when the door flew open and he pulled away.
“Lily!” Sofia called her name. “You won’t guess...!” Sofia’s eyes grew wide as she looked at Lily and then at Taylor. “Oh, I’m sorry. Did I interrupt something?”
Lily shifted away from Taylor and frowned at the look in Sofia’s eyes. Sofia smiled and winked at her. “Well, I guess I did interrupt something.” She waved her hand. “I’ll be on my way. Carry on.”
Lily’s face grew hot with embarrassment. She knew what Sofia was thinking now, and the worst thing was that if Sofia had not interrupted them, she and Taylor would have done exactly what Sofia had in mind. Lily shifted to the edge of the couch.
He gave her a rueful smile, and then the smile melted off his face. “Tell me, Lily, why did you run away during our dinner?”
The best thing would be to give him a random excuse so he would not go back to California feeling guilty or thinking that he owed her anything. But the words in her heart were fighting to burst out of her mouth, and she let them. “You know why, Taylor. I want a relationship with you. But you don’t have to worry. You don’t owe me anything.”
“Lily!”
“No! I understand. You still love your wife and you’re still grieving for her. Really, it’s wrong of me to want something from you that you clearly cannot give.” She smiled sadly. “I’ll miss you terribly when you go back to California, but we’ll survive. I will survive.”
He reached out to take her hand, but she held it away from him. “It’s best this way. Let’s just keep our distance.”
“I’m truly sorry, Lily.”
“You have no reason to be sorry. You’ve done nothing wrong.”
“I can’t leave you like this.”
She wanted him to go back to California without feeling as though he had to say or do something in order to make her feel better for his rejection. And she didn’t blame him in spite of it. He had the right to still love and grieve for his wife. He owed her nothing.
“I’ll be fine. I just feel sad because of my parents. I miss them terribly, and now that Rachel has told me that they aren’t in Fallow Creek, I just don’t know what to do, where to start looking for them.”
The distress she had felt when Rachel had told her that her parents had left Fallow Creek returned. A sob rose in her throat. “Oh, Taylor, where are they? What if I never see them again?”
“No, Lily. You will see them again. I promised you that I would do what I could to look for them. I’m reiterating that promise now.”
She shook her head. “It’s unlikely that the few people you can call to ask about them know where they are. I don’t know how I’ll remain in Tucson when my parents and my sister have moved to somewhere I don’t even know. They don’t know where I am, and I don’t know where they are. How will we ever be reunited? And who knows if my sister is even with them or if she moved somewhere different with her husband? And what if they’re hurt?” She couldn’t stop thinking about the different awful things that could have happened to them. “Where can they possibly be?”
He moved close to her and pulled her into his arms again. “Shh… you’ll find them soon, Lily,” he said.
She pulled away from him and said, “How do you know?”
He blinked, and then his eyes brightened. “I have an idea.”
She raised her brows. “What?”
“If we’re going to find your pa
rents, maybe the best place to start looking for them is in Fallow Creek. That is the only place we are sure they’ve been.”
“You want us to go back to Fallow Creek?”
“Yes. We can try to trace their steps from there.”
“You’d go back to Fallow Creek for me?” she asked, astonished. “I thought you said you would never go back there because of what happened to your wife.”
His face contorted in anguish, and she wished she hadn’t brought up his wife. “Taylor, it’s okay if you can’t go with me.”
“No! I want to go with you. I want to help you find your parents.” He looked at her with a thoughtful expression on his face. “And in truth, I still feel awful about leaving you here without a job. Plus, I still need a nanny for my kids. Since I already told my son, Josh, that I would take time off work so we could spend time together, like a mini-vacation, I think we can take the opportunity to all go to Fallow Creek. You can help me take care of Josh and Bree.” He smiled at her. “What do you say, Lily? Will you accept my job offer?”
“What about this apartment you just bought me?”
He waved his hand. “I’ll find a use for it.” He smiled at her. “And now you won’t be living here anymore, you don’t have to pay me back.”
She smiled back. “That’s a relief.” She grew sober again. She was silent for a full minute, considering his offer. He was offering her two of the three things she wanted — no, needed — most right now. A relationship with him was the third, which he clearly wasn’t offering. However, she would be a fool to reject his offer, even if it didn’t include a relationship.
She sighed. It would be difficult working for him and seeing him every day when she knew he didn’t share her feelings and didn’t want a relationship with her. But she would have to be content with what he was offering her.
He tilted his head, his eyes studying her face. “What do you say, Lily? Do you want to come work for me and go back to Fallow Creek to search for your parents?”
“Yes,” she said.
He nodded and she frowned. Considering he was the one who had offered to help her search for her parents and had given her a job, she was surprised that he didn’t look too pleased she’d accepted. Was he already regretting his offer? But she said nothing about it. He had made her a promise. Even if he regretted doing so, he was bound to his word now. Tomorrow she would leave Tucson with him, and together they would try to find her family. She would have to give up what she hoped would develop between them and focus entirely on that.
“So are you ready to leave for California tomorrow?” he asked.
She shrugged, trying to mirror his nonchalant look. “I guess I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.” She gazed at his handsome face for much longer than she should have and then looked away, silently reprimanding herself. There was no point dwelling on what she could not have. She had to focus on what she did have. He had done so much for her and was still doing so much. She was grateful to God for him. Hopefully, they would find her parents soon, and then once she had saved enough from her job, she could start to fulfill the other dream she had — to travel the world.
Chapter 14
Taylor settled into the back of the limo that would drive him and Lily to the airport. First, they had to drive to Lily’s to pick her up. As the limo driver started the vehicle, Taylor turned and looked out the window. He felt conflicted and had been so since yesterday when he’d had dinner with Lily. He had tossed and turned in his bed, his mind repeatedly going over the promise he had made to Josh before he’d come to Arizona, his thoughts taunting him. Josh would be disappointed that he was bringing someone else on their family trip, that it would not be just the three of them.
His mind went back again to what Rachel had told him. He was ignoring all of it now: his promise to Josh and Rachel’s advice. But he had no choice. He would not be able to live with himself if he left Lily in the state he’d seen her yesterday.
But you know that’s not the only reason you asked her to come with you! a voice whispered in his mind. You didn’t ask her to come with you just because you’re concerned about her.
He groaned, feeling slightly ashamed and weary of the constant war going on in his mind because of Lily. In spite of the fact that he’d agreed to take Rachel’s advice because it was the right thing to do, he had still gone ahead and asked Lily to come to California and then Fallow Creek with him. But he couldn’t stand the thought of never seeing her again. He would have to try to protect his heart and keep his hands off her, but at least he would get to see her regularly.
You know that isn’t right.
He could easily have gone to Fallow Creek to look for her parents without her. Now, his vow to honor his wife’s memory and keep the promise he’d made to Josh were in jeopardy. He could have gone to Fallow Creek with only his son and daughter, and they could have enjoyed each other’s company while he also tried to discover the whereabouts of Lily’s parents and sister. Instead, he’d asked Lily to come with him and she had agreed.
He sighed as he remembered how Lily had bared her heart to him yesterday, the way she had looked at him as she did. He felt like a jerk. She had told him plainly that she wanted a relationship with him, but all he could tell her was that he was sorry. The hurt in her eyes still haunted him. It was bad enough that she now knew he was single. He also now knew that, not only did she like him, she was interested in a relationship with him.
Maybe you should just give in, Taylor. You know that is what you want, too.
His heart nearly stopped at his admission. He had never admitted to himself that he wanted a relationship with her. But there was no point dwelling on it. Rachel was right about him keeping his distance from her. His decision to not be involved with any woman at this time was the right one. And yet the thought of being in close proximity to Lily in the coming months left him out of sorts because it threatened that decision.
He groaned and then raised an eyebrow when the limo driver stared quizzically at him through the rearview mirror.
He turned to look out the window again while telling himself to stop thinking about Lily. In a few minutes she would be in this car, sitting right next to him. The more his thoughts centered on her and his growing feelings for her, the more likely it was that he would throw all caution out of the window. He could already imagine how soft her lips would feel on his when they kissed and...
Stop it, Taylor! His mind was going in the direction it should never go. He looked around him for something to read to distract himself, but he found nothing. He had to get a hold of his feelings now, or the hours they would spend together in the plane would be torture.
The limo wove through traffic, and Taylor momentarily put Lily out of his thoughts. He smiled as he imagined Josh’s small arms around his neck as they hugged, and Bree’s smile that amusingly now resembled a smirk. He could not wait to finally get home and see them again — his precious kids. He was excited about their coming vacation. They would be able to spend an extended amount of time together, just the three of them.
Not the three of you anymore. Now Lily will be there, too.
Great! He was back to thinking about her again. His mind traveled once more to Rachel’s advice. How would he be able to properly process his feelings for Lily if she was physically in his house? How could he give himself a chance to forget about her if she was right there with him? And how long would they both be able to hold out before they gave in to their untamed passions?
He shuddered. It would be a disaster for so many reasons if that happened. And it ultimately would if he didn’t find a solution for it, the way he was pining over her. His kids would be around. It was bad enough that he would have to explain to Josh why he’d brought someone else home. He didn’t want to have to explain any kind of physical affection to his son.
They couldn’t afford to get as carried away as they had yesterday at her apartment. If her friend had not shown up when she had, they would be dealing with awful regret now, and h
e probably wouldn’t have been able to ask her to come with him today. As his children’s nanny, she was supposed to live in the main house, but she would have to live in the staff building. He wasn’t going to take any chances. In two or three days, they would leave for Fallow Creek. He wasn’t yet sure of their living arrangements there, but he would figure it out later.
They got to the front of Lily’s apartment building, and he sucked in his breath sharply when he saw her standing in front of it, her suitcase by her side. She was wearing a fitted royal blue dress which showed off her perfect figure.
“Calm down or you’ll have a heart attack,” he muttered sarcastically.
But his heart didn’t stop racing, even as the driver got out and put her suitcase into the trunk of the car. When she got in beside him, he gathered up a smile for her.
“Good morning,” she said to him. She sounded more upbeat today than she had yesterday.
“Good morning, Lily.” He deeply inhaled her floral scent and then turned away to look out the window so she would not see how much she affected him. No one had ever affected him in this way. He had never felt anything close to this. Maybe it was too late, anyway. Maybe he was already falling in love with her. But it was all too soon. He felt awful. He had already replaced Faye with someone else… at least in his heart. And what he felt for Lily was a burning desire, not just physically, but emotionally. He had loved Faye, but never had he felt this way about her.
Lord, help me, he thought. The admission he had just made strengthened his resolve to keep away from Lily if he wanted to honor his wife’s memory. He turned to look at Lily again. He couldn’t keep his eyes off her. He knew for certain that he was falling in love with her. He had vowed never to go back to Fallow Creek because of Faye, but just the sad look in Lily’s eyes when Rachel had told her that her parents had left the community had been enough to change his mind.