Dying to Be Slim

by Abby Beverley

  Billie scurried upstairs, thankful to be away from the adults. Dad and Starla seemed in a very jolly mood but Mam seemed quiet. I suppose you would feel a bit put out if your younger, thinner, richer sister showed up, mused Billie. She didn’t actually know that Starla was richer but it wouldn’t take too much to be richer than anyone on Jubilee Terrace so it was just an assumption.

  Billie switched on her laptop and, while she waited for it to spring into action, she cradled her bump in front of the dressing table mirror. It was looking quite big now, especially if she pulled her clothing tightly across it. Had she relaxed her muscles since telling her parents the news? God, she hoped she wasn’t going to continue the family tradition of having twins. That would be terrible. She had read, however, that twins skip a generation. She hoped her sources were accurate. Probably not. She couldn’t even remember where she read that now.

  She moved back over to the laptop. There were two emails, one from Guy and one from Nick.

  Guy:

  Hi bills. give me a ring when you’re free i’ve found out who has been putting all that crap on your wall. guy x

  Nick:

  Hi Billie.

  We’ve been together over a year now and it has been amazing. As you know, I’m off to Leeds in the autumn to study at uni and you’re off to do your nursing training – did you say it was in Manchester?

  I’ve been given the opportunity to work abroad this summer and my Auntie Val is going to move in to look after Dad full-time.

  So, I’m sorry but I’m calling time on Us. We’ll never have the house to ourselves again and I’m hoping to go to Spain as soon as I sit my last ‘A’ level in June anyway. I’ll be winding the blog down too.

  Keep smiling that beautiful smile.

  Sorry it’s by mail.

  Nick xx

  Ps. Hope we can still be friends?

  Billie’s mouth went dry about the same time that her eyes began to stream. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to happen. She had it all worked out.

  She was going to cool it with Nick; keep him as an unnamed father so that he wouldn’t get into trouble. Then, later, maybe when he’d finished Uni, they were going to rekindle their relationship properly so that the world would see them as a family unit. They would live happily ever after – buy a house, have more children, get a dog, walk in the countryside, explore sandy beach coves…

  Billie threw herself on the bed. Her face caught the bedside cabinet and her tooth accidentally bit into her lip. Blood gushed from her split lip and, within seconds, it felt twice the size it was normally. Her nose felt numb too and a trickle of blood came from the left hand nostril.

  Sobs wracked her body; the shock was both physical and emotional. Her head felt heavy, her nose sore, her lip swollen. And the tears just kept coming…

  33

  Thursday

  STARLA

  Starla opened her eyes and smiled at Jakey. She sighed and kissed the back of his neck.

  “I’d best hop into the boxroom and ruffle up the bed a bit, eh?”

  Jakey rolled over and embraced her.

  “Don’t go,” he implored.

  An hour or so later, Starla tiptoed into the smallest room and rummaged through a couple of black bags behind the door. She remembered that Marnie had asked to store some clothes here. She was easily the same size as Marnie now, a little curvier perhaps, but hopefully something might fit.

  She found a denim mini-skirt, some thick black tights with a hole in the toe, a plain black top and some black fringed ankle boots which would cover up her peeping toe. All the clothes smelled fresh. No doubt Jakey would have washed them all before letting them go into the bags.

  Starla rumpled up the quilt in the boxroom and pressed her hands into Skye’s ‘Princess’ pillow to make it look as though her head had rested there all night.

  She heard Billie in the bathroom showering and wondered why she hadn’t come down to join them for their meal last night, even though she’d said to call her. Jakey had gone upstairs to knock on her bedroom door but she’d told him she was already in bed.

  Starla knocked on the bathroom door.

  “Billie?” she said quietly.

  “Just a minute!” Billie barked.

  “It’s OK. I can wait. I just wondered if you were alright?”

  “I’m alright,” she answered but she sounded a bit down.

  “OK.” Starla didn’t want to push it. Billie was unlikely to open up to her – the ‘aunt’ she met for the first time yesterday.

  The lock slid back and Billie emerged wrapped in a large towel. She looked as though she’d banged her lip and Starla wanted to reach out her hand to her daughter’s cheek, to soothe her, to love her.

  “Did you sleep with my dad last night?” She could be very direct, could Billie.

  “I was… erm…” Starla waved her finger down the landing towards the boxroom but, since it was right next to Jakey’s room, the gesture was vague.

  “Ah!” Billie uttered with her head on one side. Starla couldn’t tell whether she was simmering with rage or simpering her indifference.

  “Erm… can I…?” Starla pointed to the bathroom this time.

  “Sure, help yourself… Auntie.”

  Simmering with rage then, thought Starla.

  Starla marvelled at the ease with which she was able to shower. No Jakey scrubbing at her privates with a long-handled loofah while she struggled to keep herself upright, using the support rails. No hard-to-reach places for soaping, shaving or moisturising. Best of all, no visitors sharing her shower-time. Although, she thought it might be fun if Jakey paid her a visit. Maybe she could even wash him for a change!

  Then she remembered the news she’d heard last night about Tina and felt ashamed of herself for even thinking about having fun.

  Starla wound a towel around her head and she secured another one beneath her armpits. She located the spare toothbrush that she had used last night and cleaned her teeth. As she did so, she thought back to the meal she and Jakey had shared with ‘Clara’ last night.

  At Starla’s request, Jakey had phoned the hotel to swap his shift over to the weekend. The Muncaster management knew they were lucky to have Jakey and were always keen to accommodate his requests – not that he asked for much. It didn’t matter to them what day Jakey worked, as long as he regularly produced cakes, pastries and pies.

  The evening had begun awkwardly. Clara seemed reluctant to say anything to either Starla or Jakey, other than to ask if she could have another Bayonne ham and brie pasty.

  Starla had no qualms in lying to the thug; she told him that the ring was his only means of return. She unclipped the Celtic amulet from around his neck to show him the purple stone and explained that there was magic in the matching stone that was set into the Celtic ring. She didn’t tell him that the amulet’s stone also contained magic and she didn’t return it to him. Instead, she popped the amulet behind a photograph of Guy and Gav – their first day at primary school, identical smiles and uniforms.

  Believing that he needed the ring in order to return, the mugger started to talk.

  His name was Cole Moore and he lived east of the city with his grown up daughters, Maria and Evie, and his teenage son, Connor. Evie, he told them, had cystic fibrosis and Maria, who was the eldest of his three kids, was her main carer. Cole had been in prison a few times, mostly Hazelworth, and had struggled to find work since the first time he was convicted at the age of nineteen. He had become a member of the Cobalt Bat Boys (as the market traders had suspected) because it offered him security. As he had put it:

  “You mess with one of them Bat Boys an’ all of them Bat Boys will mess with you.”

  Jakey asked if they had a gang insignia – a tattoo perhaps?

  Cole described a blue bat, wings outstretched, and oversized fangs. He explained that all members got the tattoo once they had proved themselves a ‘true blue Cobalt’.

  Once he had begun, Cole seemed keen to talk and Starla wond
ered whether he had given up all hope of returning to his previous life, or whether he was just as thick as they came with no concept of consequence.

  He certainly seemed to be enjoying Jakey’s Bayonne ham and brie pasties.

  He was just tucking into his third when the house phone rang.

  It was Mikey. Starla was pleased and took the phone out to the kitchen where she spoke to him as Clara. It wasn’t hard. Her voice was almost identical although perhaps a little clearer and not quite as deep.

  Mikey said he was on a rest day and just calling to see how she was doing – a little odd, she thought, since she’d only just seen him on Monday. Starla tried to question him about his relationship with Tina and how the baby was coming along, but he changed the subject and talked about the new house and what sort of dog they might get. Starla asked him if he’d seen any of his brothers recently and he replied that he and Tina had bumped into Gav and Morgan in the supermarket on Monday evening but that it had only been a brief encounter.

  Then his tone sharpened and he said that he’d seen Guy on Tuesday evening. The betrayal in his voice stood out like a meercat on a pedestal rock and Starla’s heart flew out to him.

  “Mikey,” she whispered gently, “you would tell me if something was wrong, wouldn’t you?”

  “Oh Mam…” Mikey was silent on the end of the phone, but for the occasional sneeze.

  “Mikey?”

  “Mam… it’s Tina,” he croaked and, in an instant, Starla realised that he was crying, not sneezing.

  “What’s wrong, son?” she breathed.

  “It’s Tina and the baby. She’s had a fall. She’s lost the baby, Mam,” Mikey sounded like a broken man.

  “Oh, Mikey… Mikey! That’s terrible news. I’m so sorry, love. Is Tina alright?”

  “Yes,” he sighed, “she’ll be able to have more children. Just not this baby. Not this time.”

  “What happened?”

  “She was taking an afternoon nap after school. She got up when I came through the door. I must have startled her. She tripped on the bedclothes. It was just a stupid, horrible accident.”

  “When did it happen, love?” Starla felt close to tears herself.

  “Tuesday evening.”

  “Didn’t you just say you’d seen Guy on Tuesday evening. Was he there too?”

  “He rang for the ambulance. It was an accident but, I startled her coming in like that. Don’t you see Mam? It was an accident that was my fault!”

  “No Mikey. No! It was not your fault. Accidents are nobody’s fault. That’s why they’re called accidents. Had you been out with Guy then? Surely he wasn’t in the flat while Tina was taking a nap?”

  “No, no. He was… we were… he was there… with me… he, he tried to catch her…”

  Starla had a feeling that there was more to this than Mikey was letting on.

  “Catch her?” she echoed.

  “Yes, that’s right,” said Mikey more to himself than to his mother, “he tried to catch her and whacked his face on the coffee table. He’s in a bit of a state too. Split lip, broken nose and black eye – poor bugger!”

  “How come you didn’t ring me yesterday, Mikey? I’m your mam. I need to know these things. Guy hasn’t called either.”

  “Sorry, Mam. It’s all been so… oh, I don’t know. I’ve been concentrating on Tina. We were busy with the doctors till quite late. I didn’t want to disturb you.”

  Poor Mikey was desperately trying to hold onto his wife and his sanity by the sounds of things. What he needed was support but how could she give him that when, to him, she was stuck in a bariatric chair?

  Remembering Clara’s plight, Starla changed the subject and explained about needing an ambulance for the zoo.

  Mikey seemed glad to talk about something else and wasn’t at all shocked to hear that she’d got an appointment at the zoo; he’d taken patients for scans there previously. He promised he would personally take her and, since he was doing an early shift on Friday, he could probably sort something out around lunchtime – if he could clear it with Spinney Joy Park.

  “Are you sure?” asked Starla. “I mean, aren’t you entitled to some time off to look after Tina?”

  “She won’t be out of hospital till the weekend. There’s no point in me just moping around at home. I took my Tuesday late shift off when she went in, obviously. I’m on a couple of rest days at the moment. I’ll do my Friday and Saturday earlies, then take all of next week off to look after her at home.”

  “You’re a good man, Mikey,” murmured Starla. “Remember that we all love you and please pass our love and hugs onto Tina. I’ll make sure I tell the others too – it’ll save you having to do the rounds.”

  When Starla returned to the living room, she’d found Jakey querying Cole on why they’d chosen Starla as their victim. Cole explained that they’d thought she looked quite posh so imagined her to have a fancy phone and wads of cash. Starla almost found it amusing that they’d considered her ‘posh’. She’d never, ever been called that before! However, she couldn’t quite move her sentiments on from the horror of being confronted by a slavering hound and baseball bat.

  Jakey asked him if he knew where the ring was now and Cole had replied that he genuinely didn’t know, although he imagined that his son, Connor, might have picked it up and possibly passed it on to ‘Number Five’, who was rather adept at getting rid of hot goods quickly for maximum cash return.

  “So where would we find Number Five?” questioned Starla.

  “I usually ring him,” replied Cole.

  “Great!” Starla smiled sarcastically. “I don’t suppose you know his number off by heart do you?”

  Cole shook his head and took some crisps out of a bowl on the dining board, next to a plate of homemade sausage rolls.

  “Where might you look for him?” Jakey cajoled. “You know, if you didn’t have his number or something like that?”

  “Erm… well, let me see,” pondered Cole. “There are a few pubs he hangs out in. I’d probably go to one of those.”

  “Perhaps we could write down the names of these places,” suggested Starla.

  “Perhaps you could help me with dessert, my love?” smiled Jakey, signalling that she was to join him in the kitchen.

  She followed him through obediently.

  “What were you planning to do Starla? Waltz into one of these pubs, ask the clientele to roll up their sleeves so you could check out their bat tattoos and then ask politely for the ring to be returned?”

  “Do we really need the ring?” whispered Starla, ignoring his sarcasm. “We have options, you know.”

  “Such as…” Jakey leaned back against the kitchen counter and folded his arms.

  “Well, I’d quite like to stay like this,” said Starla, pulling him towards her by the collar.

  “And I’d like that too, but what about the bloke in there? Do you think he wants to stay like that?” Jakey unfolded his arms and put them onto her hips, nodding his head in the direction of the living room.

  “He shouldn’t have nicked my bag,” scowled Starla.

  “I agree. But you can’t keep him away from his family. They probably need him. Two wrongs don’t make a right, do they?”

  “Hmmm…” Starla agreed with Jakey, reluctantly.

  “Anyway,” said Jakey, “What did Mikey want?”

  Starla briefed him about Tina, remembering to mention Guy’s heroics too. Jakey was shocked and saddened.

  “Poor little lass,” Jakey eventually murmured, “I know she’s been messing around – and I don’t condone that for a minute – but… losing the baby? That seems a bit cruel.”

  “Perhaps it’ll give them all a chance to work things out one way or another,” speculated Starla. “It’s clear to me that Mikey knows what’s been going on. It wouldn’t surprise me if this bashed in face that Guy’s wearing, matches a few bruises on Mikey’s knuckles. I wonder if he caught them together… you know? I mean, why else would she be tripping out of bed
in the afternoon?”

  “Well, we should to be here for them all if they need us,” reflected Jakey. “But it’s not our business to tell them how to best work things out.”

  Starla sighed.

  “I know… it’s hard though. Poor Mikey sounds so distraught, bless him.”

  “Just be here for him, sweetie. That’s all you can do now. In the meantime, we’ve other things to occupy us. Like what we’re going to do with the gannet in the other room?”

  Starla put both hands onto the sides of her head and pulled her hair back into a pony tail, without securing it. She looked thoughtful.

  “I know! We can send him back by rubbing the amulet! We don’t need the ring!” She dropped her hair down and put her hands up to Jakey’s face.

  “Yes, we could do that but what will become of Clara?”

  “Well, I’m Clara, aren’t I?”

  “Yes, but you can’t just let your body rot away in a coma!”

  Jakey looked disturbed.

  “Besides, we need that ring back,” he added dolefully. “It’s dangerous! If any of those gang members work out that it can make them invisible…”

  Starla moved away from Jakey and slapped her forehead with the palm of her hand.

  “Oh my god!” she cried. “They’d terrorise the country… and nobody would be able to see them, let alone catch them! This is a threat to national security!”

  “I don’t think these crooks are able to think much past petty theft and thuggish behaviour, Starla. I can’t see them threatening national security.”

  Jakey moved towards her and held her elbows.

  “However, we must get that ring back. And we can’t release Cole back to his family until we do.”

  “I agree, but that brings us back to ‘how’. How are we going to find this guy, this ‘Number Five’, who may or may not have the ring?”

  “Hey!” A sudden shout came from the living room. Jakey and Starla rushed back in.

  “I just remembered! Number Five said he was cremating his mam tomorrow. I think she lived over in Hawpeak. It’s a small town, south of the city. I’m sure there’s a crem over there. I vaguely remember going to a funeral there once. A cousin, as I recall. Drug overdose. Bright lad. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer kid.”