Baby I’m Yours

by Elks, Carrie

  Another sip. He let the whiskey burn the back of his throat, warming him as it trickled down. Rich had said something about having so many questions, but they paled to insignificance compared to all the thoughts racing through James’s head.

  Putting his glass down on the wooden table next to his Adirondack chair, James picked up his phone and unlocked it, scrolling through his contacts until he found Harper’s. He stared at it for a moment, picturing her warm eyes and pink-blonde hair. The hint of a smile curled at his lips.

  If he wanted answers, she probably did, too, and there was only one way to get them.

  It was time to face the music and arrange to meet her. They had a baby to talk about.

  9

  Week thirteen. Welcome to the second trimester! Most women will find their nausea begins to abate, unless they’re one of the unlucky ones who suffer until the baby is born. Fingers crossed that’s not you, my friend! But on the positive side, you will have more energy – and your partner will be happy to know your sex drive could increase, too. Make the most of it, we say. Maybe look at booking a babymoon to spend quality time with your partner. After the birth you may never want sex again. (Just kidding. Kinda.)

  Harper stuffed the rest of the chocolate bar into her mouth and grabbed a glass of milk to wash it down, turning off her phone and the weekly countdown she’d stupidly clicked on. Babymoon? Ha! Though she really should go to that yoga class she’d looked into. Maybe she’d do that when she wasn’t spending every hour awake at her sewing machine, making enough dresses for next week’s photoshoot.

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you today?” Caitie asked, walking into the kitchen, her hands fastening her earring. “I can cancel this meeting.”

  “No, I’ll be fine,” Harper said. “I’m meeting James in a public place. And Nate and Ally will be working at the coffee shop. If he tries to do anything, I’m sure one of them will vault over the counter and karate chop him.”

  Caitie chuckled, shaking her head. “I was more worried what you might do to him. Your bump won’t look good in orange.”

  A smile played at the corner of Harper’s lips. “I’ll have you know I can rock orange. But anyway, we’re just meeting to talk, that’s all. He called last night and sounded very nice about it all.”

  “He’s a nice guy,” Caitie said. “But seriously, if you need anything, just call, okay? And I want to hear all the details later.”

  “Of course.” Harper nodded, her expression mock-serious. “You’ll get them along with all the grisly details. Unless I’ve been arrested that is.” She poked her tongue out, and Caitie rolled her eyes.

  An hour later Harper wasn’t finding it quite so funny. Her stomach was churning as she walked toward the coffee shop overlooking the beach. Even outside, the aroma of coffee was strong, mixing with the sweet smell of pastries that made her mouth water.

  James was already there. Sitting at a table right outside the open glass doors, his long denim-encased legs stretched out in front of him as he read one of the free newspapers you could pick up from the rack beside the counter. Harper stared at him for a moment. His dark hair looked like he’d recently had it cut, and his skin was warm and tan. Unlike when she’d seen him at the resort or the hospital he hadn’t shaved, and the dark shadow around his jaw made her heart flip a little.

  Maybe that weekly countdown was right about the sex drive thing. She decided to test it out, looking around the shop to see if there was another guy near her age that made her pulse start the hundred yard dash down her veins. But no, there was Frank Megassey in the corner, gossiping with Lorne Daniels, the owner of the surf shop, and apart from them the tables were mostly full of women.

  Harper turned back to the deck, blowing out a mouthful of air as she looked at James once again. His dark shirt was smooth on his body, emphasizing his wide shoulders, defined biceps, and the rise and fall of his pectorals. If she’d been in Hollywood she would have assumed he was an actor. But here in Angel Sands he was just another good looking guy.

  One who happened to be the father of her baby.

  As if he could feel her scrutiny, James put the paper down on the table in front of him and slowly turned toward her. Their gazes caught, and his brows rose with recognition. He got to his feet, and she was shocked once again by how tall he was. Out of his tux – and his scrubs – he looked more relaxed, like any other guy sitting outside a coffee shop, watching the ocean lap against the shore. When he began to walk toward her Harper realized she hadn’t moved an inch.

  “Hi.” He came to a stop in front of her. “I grabbed us a table outside. Thought we could probably both do with soaking up some vitamin D. Would you like a coffee?”

  “A decaf latte would be great.”

  “Decaf. Of course.” He smiled at her and it hit her right in her thighs. Was she blushing? She never blushed. She prided herself on being cool, calm, and confident. It had been instilled in her since birth, after all.

  Damn you second trimester sex drive.

  “Go and sit down,” he said, indicating the table he’d just vacated. “I’ll bring your coffee over.”

  Her cheeks still felt warm as she took the seat opposite his, pulling it around so she could face the ocean, too. It looked so beautiful today, the white-foam waves dancing as they rushed toward the shore, the bright sun reflecting off the water, coloring it an orange-gold. She closed her eyes and breathed in, tasting the salt of the air and the tang of ozone tickling the back of her throat. How was it that the ocean always made everything better? Maybe it was the way it was timeless. The waves didn’t care what day it was. Heck, they didn’t care what century it was. They just moved back and forth because that’s what they did.

  She could learn something from that.

  “One decaf latte,” James said. Harper opened her eyes to see him slide the cup in front of her. “I got you a blueberry muffin, too, in case you’re hungry. Oh, and the couple behind the counter told me to tell you ‘hi’.”

  Harper glanced over her shoulder and saw Ally waving at her. Next to her was Nate, raising an eyebrow as if to tell her he was here if she needed him.

  Harper bit down a smile at his protectiveness and lifted her hand to wave back. “I had breakfast about an hour ago,” she said as she turned back to James and reached for the muffin. “But I’d hate to see this go to waste.” She ripped a piece off between her thumb and finger and slid it onto her tongue. “Oh god, this is delicious.” She swallowed it down and let out a little sigh. “Why does everything taste so good?”

  James looked torn between amusement and something else. It sparked his eyes and made him swallow in spite of not eating anything. “I guess you’re over any nausea?” he said, his voice thick.

  “Yeah. That was the worst,” Harper said, taking another bite. “I swung between starvation and sickness for weeks. Now I’m swinging between eating and overeating.”

  He quirked an eyebrow. “You’re eating for two now.”

  “And don’t I know it. This baby is so demanding already. Did you know she’s only the size of a lemon? How can something that small want so much food?”

  “Maybe it’s my fault?” James asked, arching an eyebrow. “The baby could get that from me. I eat a lot.”

  “You’re not eating now,” Harper pointed out.

  “Yeah, well I managed to finish two muffins before you arrived,” he said with a grin.

  Harper finished the pastry, using her thumb to scrape the case for the final crumbs, then licked them off. It was disgusting, she knew it, but damn, that muffin was amazing. Being pregnant was a great excuse to throw out all the rules.

  “You want me to get you another?” James asked.

  Yeah she did, but even in this state she needed to have some standards. “Maybe later,” she said, meaning it.

  She picked up her coffee cup and took a sip, letting the steamy drink envelop her tongue. “God this is good, too,” she said. “If only it had caffeine my life would be complete.
”

  “Only another six months. Or maybe more if you decide to breastfeed.”

  Harper looked up, surprised. She wasn’t sure if it was because he’d mentioned her breasts, or whether the reality was sinking in. James, on the other hand, didn’t blink at all.

  “I don’t know what I’m going to do yet in terms of feeding,” she told him, her voice soft. “I’d like to breastfeed, at least at first, but I’m not going to beat myself up if it doesn’t work out. I’ll buy some bottles just in case and see what happens. I figure women have been doing this for thousands of years, it can’t be that hard, can it?”

  “It’s amazing the help you can get nowadays, but it’s your body and your decision. There’s too much pressure put on new mothers as it is, you don’t need any more.”

  She was aware their voices had dipped into serious conversation. And the anxiety she’d felt as she walked into the coffee shop reared its ugly head again. Along with the morning sickness and the jeans that didn’t fit, anxiety was a new thing for her. She didn’t like it one bit.

  “Do you have any questions about the baby?” she asked him, running her finger around the rim of her cup. “I know it was a shock for you, and I’m sure you must have a million of them.”

  “Yeah, it was a shock. But I’m guessing it was for you, too.” His gaze caught hers. “I’m sorry I didn’t react well.”

  “You were no worse than I was when I found out.” Harper shrugged. “But luckily for me I was alone when that second line appeared on the test.” She widened her eyes. “Nobody to hear me scream.”

  He laughed. “You seem calm about it now. How far along were you when you took the test?”

  “Well since we used a condom, I didn’t even consider I was pregnant until I started to feel sick,” Harper told him. “I was about eight weeks when I took the test, nine when I was able to get to the doctor and have it confirmed.”

  “So you only found out a month ago?”

  “Yeah, that sounds right. Though it feels like longer. A lifetime even. A lot has happened since then. I’ve moved to Angel Sands, started to concentrate on my own business, and then I saw you again. So that kind of brings us up to date.”

  “Have you found an obstetrician yet?” he asked.

  “I had one in L.A.. She was my OB/Gyno, so she was going to deliver the baby. But I need to sort it out now that I’m down here. Ember can probably help recommend someone.”

  “I know a couple of good ones at the hospital. I can set up an appointment for you.” He leaned forward.

  “Do you know if they take credit cards?” Harper asked. “Because I don’t have medical insurance right now.”

  He frowned. “I’ve got it covered. I get a discount from the hospital because I’m an employee. You don’t need to worry about the cost.”

  She gave him a close-lipped smile. “It’s okay. I’ll cover it somehow.” Even if she’d be paying it off for the rest of her life. From the time she’d left home at the age of eighteen she hadn’t relied on anybody else’s help. But now she seemed to be leaning on everybody.

  She didn’t like the way it made her feel so helpless.

  “I have money, Harper. Maybe that’s all I’ve got. I’m just as responsible for this baby as you are. I’d like to pay my portion, especially since you’re doing all the heavy lifting.”

  “I just don’t like being beholden to anybody. I’m not a gold digger.”

  He frowned. “I never said you were.”

  No, but she knew how people thought. Knew that gossip spread like wildfire, and that certain women saw rich men as their ticket to an easy life. She was never going to be that kind of person.

  Not like her mom.

  “Just think about it,” he said, his voice low. “Babies are expensive. Having them, bringing them up, all of it adds up. I don’t expect you to pay for all of it. This child is my responsibility, too.”

  “Okay,” she said softly. “I’ll think about it.”

  He nodded, but said nothing more. Silence hung in the air like a curtain, cutting the connection between the two of them. Harper tried to find her equilibrium, ignoring the nagging tug of her stomach.

  “I’m sorry,” she finally said. “I’m just not good at accepting help.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “I got that impression.”

  “I didn’t tell you about the baby because I want your money. I don’t expect it, not at all. I just thought you had the right to know.”

  “It’s okay. I was a little insensitive. I’m sorry, too.” He watched as she finished her coffee and put the cup down on the table. “Would you like to get out of here?” he asked her. “Maybe take a walk along the beach?”

  She gave him the faintest of smiles. “Yeah, I would. A walk sounds really good.”

  10

  “Tell me about yourself,” James said as they made their way along the surf. To their left were a series of dunes. The golden sand dusted over blades of grass as they gave way to the flats and finally the houses overlooking the Pacific Ocean. It was prime real estate here; he and Sara had looked at a couple of houses along the beachfront before deciding they preferred the views from the cliffs. But he could see their appeal – the view from these houses were amazing, just golden sand and deep blue ocean stretching out for miles. It was peaceful and yet thrilling.

  “You probably know everything worth knowing,” Harper said. He liked the way she kicked through the water, not caring about the spray hitting her rolled up jeans. He was carrying both their shoes – his in one hand, hers in the other, but part of him wished he had an arm free to slide around her waist and hold her closer.

  “Not really. Where were you born?”

  “Connecticut.”

  “Is your family still there?”

  Harper wrinkled her nose. “My dad died when I was little. I was mostly brought up by my grandma – his mom. As for my mom, she’s around somewhere. I guess wherever the latest boyfriend wants her to be.”

  Her voice was light but he could hear the hurt in it.

  “So how did you end up in Hollywood?”

  “It’s a long story.”

  “We’ve got six months.” He grinned at her, catching her gaze.

  Harper smiled back. “I moved to California recently. I was in New York before that. I worked in a couple of costume departments on Broadway, but then wanted to try my hand at the movies.”

  “Have you always wanted to be a costume designer?”

  “I wanted to be some kind of designer. I studied fashion and design at college, then specialized in theatrical costume design. When I graduated, I was offered a job in New York and Caitie was setting up her own business there, so it seemed like a good idea to move to the city.”

  “You and Caitie are close, huh?”

  Harper shrugged. “We’re like sisters. I don’t have much family of my own, so she stepped in and became it for me.” She licked the salt away from her lips. “So, when she moved back here it made sense for me to move, too. There was nothing keeping me in New York.”

  “You didn’t have a boyfriend?” He could feel his stomach tighten. It aggravated him. What did he care about her dating history?

  “Nobody special. I dated, but that was all.”

  “And in L.A.?”

  She looked up at him, her eyes full of interest. “There was nobody there. I hadn’t been there long before I lost my job and everything went to shit.”

  “When your department got shut down.”

  “You remember me telling you about that?” She raised an eyebrow.

  “I remember a lot about that night,” he told her. It wasn’t an exaggeration. The way her hair felt between his fingers, the curve of her hip as it flared out to her thighs, the way her sighs caught in her throat as pleasure captured the rest of her.

  Yeah, he could remember it all.

  “Do you regret it?” she asked him.

  Her question took him by surprise. A bird skimmed across the water, calling out with a loud squa
wk. As she turned to look at it – a cormorant from the shape of its black body and long bill – he pondered her question. Did he regret that he was here, walking along the shore with her and that the new life she was carrying was a part of him?

  “I don’t regret it, no.” His voice was firm. How could he regret the creation of a new life?

  She looked away from the bird and into his eyes. “Nor do I.”

  “You don’t?” he asked, a smile playing at his lips. “Not even with everything you’re going through?”

  She stared into the distance, her chin tipped up, her neck long. Her lips were parted so he could see the white of her teeth and the pink tip of her tongue. He swallowed hard, feeling the flame of desire flicker inside him again.

  With her eyes focused on a faraway point she shook her head. “If you’d have asked me about my plans for having babies a few months ago, I would have laughed in your face. I had no plans, no thoughts, nothing at all. Children were something I’d filed away as a distant concern for the future. Next to owning my home and getting in a monogamous relationship. But now that it’s happened I can’t regret it. This little thing.” She rubbed her stomach. “It’s a part of me. She’s changed me in ways I can barely fathom and she’s no bigger than the palm of my hand.” Her lips curled into a smile. “I feel protective of her already. And I can’t wait to meet her, to see what kind of personality she has, whether she giggles or guffaws.

  “I can’t wait to see her grow and become a little girl. I didn’t have the easiest upbringing in the world, but I’m determined hers will be. She’ll know she’s wanted, that she’s loved. I don’t want her to have any doubt that she’s the number one in my life. It’s like all the things I’ve been through have been leading up to this.”