Burrows & Behemoths

by Lee Duckett

“It says. . . payment parcel for Stet’s protectors.” Badger told Rurik. “I don’t think it will tell us if we haven’t already seen what’s inside.”

  “It was a good idea though,” piped up Fayne as Badger handed the package back to Aria. “So how much did we earn?”

  Badger cast a spell, causing glowing numbers to form in the air as he added and converted the disparate values of copper, silver, and gold pieces, along with the various values of gems. In the end he stopped and laughed, waving his hands through the image, dismissing it. “It comes out to ten thousand and two hundred and eight gold worth of treasure. If we split it up everyone gets exactly two thousand five hundred and fifty-two gold, each, though some of it will be in silver and copper coins. It’s just a little too neat.”

  “Too neat?” Fayne echoed, brows knitting. “What do you mean.”

  “It’s like grabbing a coin jar, splitting it four ways, and not only having nothing left over, but having everyone get, say, seventeen dollars exactly, no cents at all,” Badger explained. “Having that happen randomly, it doesn’t make sense!” Fayne nodded in understanding as Rurik rolled his eyes.

  “Over two thousand? That’s a lot!” marveled Aria, lost in her own thoughts. “Didn’t Shino say that a house cost a thousand.”

  “He said a peasant’s farm in the country,” her husband replied. “That means the land and no utilities, no defences, and it’s probably made of wattle and daub.”

  “Wattle and what?”

  “It’s a structure made from a framework of branches covered with a mix of wet dirt, clay, and animal dung.” Fayne replied absently as she took coins and gems from one of the loot bags, her own inventory screen open so she could claim just the right amount. At everyone’s surprised look she explained, “They covered it in my AP history class last year,” before turning back to her task.

  “So how does dung walls sound to you honey?” Badger inquired.

  “Like I think we need more money!” Aria retorted, taking the large bag of coins and gems that Fayne handed her, eyes wide. “Is this my share?”

  “Yeah. And from my, I mean Fayne’s memories this is enough money to live on for a couple of years, but we’ll want to spend most of it on better equipment.”

  “And with that better equipment,” Rurik added, “We’ll be able to fight tougher things, and take their gold as well! And then buy even better gear!”

  “It sort of seems like an endless cycle, doesn’t it?” Aria observed, frowning. “We get better equipment, use it to take on stronger enemies, use that to get better equipment, where does it end?”

  “Well,” Badger hedged, “adventurers either die for good, retire, or become the strongest in the land. At least, that’s what my character’s memories tell me. We’re not going to just die if we have any choice about it, and from what Shino said, we can’t afford to retire, so all that leaves us is to become strong enough that we can take on anything that threatens us. Along the way, we’ll earn enough money that we can purchase whatever we need, but we don’t really have a choice about it, do we?”

  “At least we’ll eat well!” chimed in Rurik, nodding to Aria. “It’ll be rough goin’ lass, but it’ll be worth it. Besides, could you really sit at ‘ome when ya know that people are out there that you could be ‘elpin’, but you’re too cowardly to be doin’ so? I know I can’t!”

  Badger shot him a quizzical look, “I thought you didn’t want to be good aligned?”

  Rurik harrumphed. “Well, I don’t give a toss me-self if people I don’t care about are in trouble, but think all of the interesting things we could fight! I’m not one of you goody two-shoes, but you are!”

  Aria glared at him. “Just because you chose your character’s moral alignment as lawful neutral doesn’t mean you can’t be good!” At Rurik’s unyielding stare she relented. “Fine, as long as you’re not evil, but I wish we could just go home right now!”

  “Without Shino?” asked Fayne, scandalized.

  “What? No! With Shino, of course!” Aria replied, shocked out of her self-pity.

  “Then we need to keep going!” Fayne ordered. “That’s all there is to it!”

  Aria smiled ruefully, “I don’t think it’s that simple, but okay.”

  Badger stood up. “All right then. So, who’s on watch?”

  “I only need four hours of sleep.” Fayne offered. “It’s an elf thing. So, I’ll take third and fourth watch.”

  “I’ll take first,” Rurik volunteered.

  “Then Badger and I will take second,” Aria decided.

  ◆◆◆

  Rurik’s watch passed without a hitch, and he woke up his parents before laying down on his bedroll, falling asleep immediately with the practice of a seasoned warrior.

  Aria and Badger sat on opposite sides of the camp, back to the fire as they watched the darkness. Badger cast Mending cantrips over and over to repair the armor they’d looted from their foes, magically cleaning the blood off as he worked.

  “Badger. Jack,” Aria said, turning to her husband.

  “Yes dear?” he responded, stopping in mid-cast to turn and look back at her across the fire.

  “Do you really, really, think we can make it?”

  Badger looked up at her for a moment, before leaning back into the pile of repaired armor, sighing as he gazed towards the stars. “Yeah, I do,’ he breathed out. “Max said we should be able to get through this next Lair, and I believe him.”

  Aria got up, walked around the campfire, and laid down next to her husband, head in his lap. She looked up at stars unlike any she’d seen at home, the night a vivid canvas rivaling any she’d ever seen growing up near Detroit. “I believe him too. I meant, well, do you think we can really make it home?”

  There was a moment of silence as the gnome mulled over the question, before sitting up to look her in the eye. “Honey, I don’t know, but I think that if we’re here for a purpose, that when that purpose is accomplished, our reason for being here will cease and we’ll go home. If there’s still a chance for us going home, that’s it.”

  Silence answered him as she nodded, not sure she could trust her words. Jack reached over to grab the chainmail he had been restoring, making no comment on her not keeping watch as he worked.

  An hour later Aria spoke up again, “Jack?”

  “Yes dear?”

  “I need to use the bathroom. Can you keep an eye on me without keeping an eye on me?”

  “Don’t want to get caught with your pants down?” he smirked.

  Aria gave him an unimpressed look before walking off and crouching down behind a shrub. When she got back, she put her thinning almanac into her backpack. “Honey?” she asked sweetly.

  “Yes?” The gnome responded cautiously, well acquainted with that tone of voice. It usually meant he’d be doing something soon.

  She smiled at him, “You’re a wizard, right?”

  Now he was sure something was up. “Last time I checked.”

  “And wizards can make magical items, right?”

  “Yes?” He didn’t see where she was going with this.

  “Then could you make something that doesn’t require me to rip pages out of a book every time I need to use the little cleric’s room?”

  Oh. That I can do, he thought. “As you wish,” he told her, smiling as he took out his spellbook quill, turned to a blank page, and started scratching away.

  ◆◆◆

  Fayne took her watch, the high point of which was shooting a wolf that tried to stalk around at the edge of the firelight, felling it with the soft crackle of a lightning infused arrow from her magical bow. She skinned and cleaned it as the sun rose, leaving the skin in a pile on the ground, nose to nose with Rurik. As the songbirds started to sing the party was awakened by the gruff screams of a terrified dwarf. Badger shot to his feet, fire in hand, as Aria floundered, trying unsuccessfully to get up.

  “What’s attacking us?” Badger demanded as he looked around.

  Fayne looked up
from the roasting wolf over the fire. “Nothing, I just decided to wake Rurik up first.”

  The dwarf in question had scrambled back on all fours like a crab, and was staring at the Wolf skin, breathing hard. He clambered to his feet, face red. “Who the bloody ‘ell put a dead wolf next to me?! Where the bloody ‘ell did they get a dead wolf in the first bloody place?!” He looked around the camp, spotting the giggling elf. “You!” he called, stomping towards Fayne. “What could ‘ave possessed ya do that?!”

  “It was funny,” the elf commented mildly, grinning.

  “It wasn’t!” he responded.

  “It was, a little,” Badger said, trying not to laugh, and failing.

  Rurik tried to look angry, but couldn’t keep it up. “It was a mite,” he admitted. “But this means war lassie, I ‘ope ya know that.”

  “Bring it!” Fayne challenged.

  “Just no pranking in Lairs!” Aria called as she looked at the wolf skin. “Fayne, where did you get this wolf.

  “Killed it when it got too close to camp,” Fayne told her. “See the Lichtenberg figure from the hole in its chest? I hit it with an electrified arrow.”

  “The what?” Aria asked, prodding the skin distastefully.

  “The branching burn pattern. It’s what happens when something gets struck by electricity.”

  Aria turned the skin over, revealing the aforementioned pattern, looking like a tree’s branches. “Oh, that.”

  The party ate a breakfast of wolf and nuts, before packing up camp and heading back to the road to continue to Ballaeter.

  ◆◆◆

  They reached the town by noon, heading straight for the Laughing Lich, the inn at which they had been recruited originally. Darnell Ironstead, paladin of Stet, God of Protectors, sat at a table finishing his lunch. As the party walked in, the dark-skinned man in half plate looked up and waved them over, motioning the barkeep to bring over four more meals. They took seats at the table as Ironstead greeted, “It’s good to see you all.” He looked pointedly at Aria’s aureole of light, which she hadn’t had the last time he’d seen her. “I assume your mission went well?”

  Aria nodded, “The problems were caused by an insane evil druid named Carnab. He was using an evil tree to make tiny wooden humanoids to attack the town. They disguised themselves as saplings during the day. We killed him, and his tree.”

  Ironstead, who had been nodding along at this point, stopped and frowned, black brow furrowing. “You killed. . . his tree?”

  “Aye!” Rurik replied. “As we were takin’ down that evil ‘ippie and ‘is wooden minion this freakin’ huge tree that ‘e was using uprooted itself and tried to kill us. I wrestled it to the ground and tore its bloody roots off!”

  Darnell turned to Rurik, “You did what?”

  Badger chimed in, “I cast an Enlarge Person spell on him, so he could grapple the tree.”

  Ironstead looked between them before shrugging, “Either way, your report is that an evil druid was causing the blight and disappearances, and he is now dead, as is what he was using to attack the town. You seem to have lost and picked up a new member.” He turned to Fayne, eyes flashing white for a moment as he magically looked her over for traces of lingering evil. “What is your name, and do you wish to join the guild of Stet’s Protectors?”

  “Um,” Fayne responded eloquently, surprised at the sudden change in topic. “I’m Fayne, and. . . yes?”

  Ironstead regarded her levelly, “Good, two last questions, how did you join this group and what happened to the battleborn?”

  Fayne started to fidget under his gaze, before taking a breath and staring him straight in the eyes, “I was tracking a goblin raiding party, which Carnab was using as a labor force,” she informed him, trying not to think too hard about it. “There were more than I expected, and I got captured. I had escaped and was holding up in an empty room in their complex when they found me. Aria healed me up and I went with them, to kill the goblins and get to the bottom of what was going on. After the threat was ended, I realized that I worked well with the group, and that they were good people.”

  She looked around at the group. “And I decided I wanted to travel with them. Shinobot, the battleborn, was taken by some other powerful battleborn when we left the Lair. He’s planning to meet up with us in Firebreach, if he can get away.”

  Paladin Ironstead watched her carefully through her explanation, continuing to study her for a few moments afterwards before smiling slightly. “I am sorry for your companion’s fate, but I would be happy to welcome all of you to Stet’s protectors.”

  “Thank you!” responded Aria. “Oh, I almost forgot!” she added, reaching into her bag, handing the parcel to Ironstead. “The mayor of Cromer wanted us to give this to you.”

  The envoy of the guild unwrapped the parcel, revealing a wooden box. He lifted the lid up a crack, looked up and around, before opening it fully and setting it down, revealing the box to contain several gold bars and a letter. He grabbed the letter, opened it, and read it quickly before looking back at Aria, one eyebrow raised, “You didn’t ask for a reward?”

  “Should we have?” she asked, suddenly unsure. “We were doing this job for your guild, so we thought that the guild would be dealing with the government.”

  Ironstead laughed, “You’ll fit right in,” he commended her. “If you receive a mission from the guild, we handle the contracts. In return we screen the jobs to help you avoid traps and backstabbing clients, as well as offering a wide variety of support and services. What treasure you find on your missions is entirely yours, and we allow our members to take non-guild jobs, for which you keep everything.”

  “If the client wishes to give you a bonus, that’s on them. You need to take at least one guild assignment every three months to stay in the guild, and if you will be unavailable for an extended period of time please inform a guildhall head, either in person or via Sending spell if you are on another continent or plane of existence.” The paladin looked around the table, “Any questions?”

  Rurik nodded, “Aye! Ya see we be findin’ a map to the lost outpost of Da-mmmf!” he started to explain, quickly muffled as Fayne covered his mouth with her slim hand. Several people around the tavern, who had perked up at the sound of the word “map” went back to their drinks, though a few kept an eye on the dwarf.

  “What he meant to say,” Fayne informed the paladin who was doing his best not to laugh. “Is that we found a lead on a possible adventure and wish to know if we can take some personal time to investigate whether or not it even exists.”

  Darnell Ironstead choked down his laughter before nodding in return, “Of course you can Fayne. I’ll mention it in my report. Just check in at the guildhall in Firebreach in the next two months. Do you want to tell me where you are going so that I can send support if you do not return?”

  The group looked at one another, Rurik shaking his head while Badger nodded. Fayne and Aria looked at each other while the dwarf and gnome glared at each other. Aria gave a hesitant nod, which became a firmer nod at the elf’s raised eyebrow. Fayne addressed Ironstead. “We’re heading to the seventeenth mountain in the Kellridge range,” she whispered. “It’s about thirty miles northwest of the town of Corthatch.”

  Ironstead thought for a second before smiling, “Really, it’s there? That is a bit into the wild, but not too far. Dwarven?”

  Rurik answered, this time taking the gruff out of his voice so it wouldn’t carry. “Aye, so it probably still be standin’!”

  “That it is, Rurik!” Ironstead agreed, equally quiet. “I have business to attend to, as I’m sure that you do. I wish you good luck in your endeavors and suggest that you invest in a horse and cart. It will ease the travails of travelling, and if you are fortuitous enough to need it, you shall be most thankful you have it as you don’t seem to have a Bag of Holding yet. It would be wise to acquire one after you have completed your task. Even the most meager of enchanted bags requires the hefty price of three thousand pieces of
gold, but they’re worth every copper you spend on them. Good luck, and may Stet watch over you!” And with that he stood up and walked away, paying the barkeep on his way out.

  Chapter Three

  A Shopping We Will Go

  On their own once more, the party unloaded the loot from their previous adventure at the various stores. The sets of splint and chain mail taken from the hobgoblins that tried to kill the party were haggled over and sold at Bernard’s Barding, a similar ritual performed over at Anneheim’s Axes, the weapon shop that, despite its name, sold all sorts of implements of violence. “Can’t believe they didn’t have a magical wakizashi,” the dwarf grumbled as they left.

  Fayne looked at him incredulously, “It’s a weapon shop in a small town, and that’s a pretty exotic weapon around here.”

  “Ain’t exotic, just be a more elegant weapon,” he grumbled.

  “For a more civilized age?” Badger quipped, getting a playful smack from his wife.

  “So when we splittin’ up the loot we getting from this?” the dwarf asked, hefting their payout from the shop, ignoring his father.

  “I’m not sure we should,” Aria suggested. At the party’s collective curious look, she elucidated, “We’re going to have expenses. Fayne paid for our rooms in town, don’t think I didn’t notice that, but you used the loot we all divided last night, right?” The archer nodded. “So instead of trying to manage everyone’s share of things, we should just use that to have a party expense fund, where we pay for things like rooms, or the cart we’re going to get. It just makes things easier.” The others agreed, though Rurik did grumble about going adventuring to get away from taxes.

  Next was Mordenstein’s Magics, the local purveyor of arcane goods. The sun was starting to get low on the horizon when they wandered into the shop, the slanting rays of evening spotlighting items of all descriptions. Behind the desk at the back of the store sat a bored looking older man, reading a book with what looked to be a dwarf couple in a passionate embrace on the cover. At the sound of the door closing he gave a start and quickly stuffed the novel in a drawer in the desk, sitting up and blushing at the staring adventurers. “Hello customers! I am Thomas Mordenstein, owner of Mordenstein’s Magic, how can I help you today?” he asked in a practiced rush.