I had left the job site and was headed back home and, stopping at the same red light, I glanced over, again, to the same coffee shop where I had seen Madde previously. There she was again, sitting at the same table, alone. I made a hasty decision and pulled over to find a parking space. I jogged across the street to the coffee shop and entered just as Madde stood with a smile on her face. A feeling of relief washed over me that she was happy to see me, until a man walked in front of me and pulled her into his arms. Shock paralyzed me to the spot until I heard a “wanna move out of the doorway?” I moved to the side as two young girls pushed by me, sending me a glare. I mumbled an apology and turned and walked out the door.
Madde hadn’t seen me and that probably was a good thing. I stood on the sidewalk for a minute debating whether to ignore what I had seen, or to go back inside and confront them. I wasn’t one for confrontation, but I was livid. Two years. Just two years we had been married and she couldn’t even get out of the marriage before she jumped into another man’s arms. The anger ate at me as I crossed the street to my vehicle, and continued as I drove home.
Obligation was gone from my vocabulary as I drove home. My anger grew to just about a boiling point as I was driving up the driveway. The sense of doing the ‘right thing’ was gone. All I wanted was her gone. I hadn’t gone to pick up Charlotte. Instead I had texted my sister and let her know I would be late, but I would explain when I got there.
I opened the garage and located some old boxes that were broken down from the move to the house just a little over a year ago. Finding the packing tape, I put the boxes together and started filling them. Madde’s clothes, jewelry, shoes, pictures she had bought. The furniture was staying and if she wanted to fight for it, she would have a fight. By the time I was done, there was not a speck of Madde’s touch anywhere to be seen. I taped up the boxes and put them outside the garage door on the tar of the driveway. I stood there for a moment contemplating whether or not I had time to run to the hardware store to get new locks, and if I should reprogram the code for the garage door opener. I knew, legally, I couldn’t do it, but anger was still pulling the strings within me.
I was standing inside the garage at the key pad still debating over changing the code when Madde drove in. She stopped in front of the boxes, seeing they were blocking her way to drive into the garage. As she exited the car, she saw me. “What’s this?”
I turned to her and walked a few steps closer to her. “Your stuff.”
“What? You packed up my stuff? Are you kicking me out?” There didn’t seem to be anger on her part, just shock and disbelief.
“Maybe you would like to call your boyfriend to come help you pick them up.” I just stared at her as my words registered and her eyes widened.
“What, how?” She couldn’t seem to find any words.
“I saw you at the coffee shop, alone actually, and was going to come in and see if we could talk about our conversation the other night. Just as I walked through the door, imagine my surprise to see another man holding you.” I shrugged. “I take it that’s your decision…the option you have chosen.”
“Jack. I never meant to hurt you.”
“Are you kidding me right now? Never meant to hurt me? You sit there and play the victim because of Charlotte, but, in the meantime, you are screwing around behind my back?” My anger imploded once again. “How long has it been going on?”
“Jack, does it matter?” Madde pleaded with me.
“Yes, it does. How long?”
She sighed as she opened her back door and went to pick up the first box. “About a year.”
“A year!” This was not what I had expected. I had thought she had pulled this stunt because of Charlotte. “A year, long before Charlotte was even in our lives you were screwing around…a year after our wedding.”
She nodded. “Jack, it’s not like either of us was happy.”
“Don’t even try to justify that. I don’t want you anywhere near this house again. I’ll go to the lawyer tomorrow and have divorce papers drawn up and will have the lawyer send them to your office.”
She finished putting the boxes in her car. “Is there nothing left of mine in the house?”
“Nothing. Everything you came into the marriage with, or have bought since we were married, is in those boxes.”
She played with her keys for a moment before tossing me her house key. “Don’t worry, Jack. I won’t be back. I’ll sign the papers as soon as I get them. I want nothing from you.” She turned and got back into her car. I just stood there and watched as she drove down the driveway. I looked down at my hand and the key that she had given me.
There was no doubt in my mind now, the code on the garage door opener would be changed tonight and the door locks tomorrow on the house. The anger that had fueled the past couple of hours dissipated and I realized I was relieved. The decision was made, she had made it for me and I didn’t even care.
18
Isabelle
As September turned to October and the weather cooled considerably, I had one of my new authors push up their release date so the work had doubled, it seemed overnight. The other author wasn’t ready to move things up, but Gayle seemed happy that one had. I was working, pretty much, around the clock to get things ready for the release date, which, although five months away, was still overwhelming to get everything done.
Nick and I had fallen into a comfortable routine of going out a few times a week and back to texting almost daily. However, he still refused to stay overnight and I was getting irritated by the whole situation. It was just sex. When did he grow such a conscience? I had put Jack from my mind, or I had tried to. I would find myself searching social media for glimpses of him and his family, but his pictures were typically of him alone. I had no idea what his life was like--was he married, was that his child? If I wasn’t careful, I could easily get caught up in the past.
I spent some of my free time working on new poems and found a peace when I could put something to paper. It seemed to even out my emotions, for the most part, and I was able to write about Jack and my feelings regarding him, love lost, and missed opportunities.
I found myself in the middle of October on a Saturday with no motivation to work from home. I poured myself coffee in my travel mug, bundled up in an oversized hoodie and started for the rocks, a spot of self-reflection. I arrived to find the spot sunny and, at least when I was sitting, fairly sheltered from the wind off the ocean. I sipped my coffee and watched the waves crash on the rocks. Mesmerized by the sound and the motion, I didn’t hear Nick approaching. I startled when he slid onto the rock next to me.
“Hey. It’s been a while since we were here together.”
“Quite a while. What are you up to today?” I snuggled a little closer to him.
“Not much. Thought I’d just relax here with my coffee. At least, seeing you this time, I didn’t spill it.”
I smiled as I remembered our first encounter and how he had dropped his coffee in surprise at me being in ‘his’ spot. “Yes, you weren’t all that pleasant without your coffee.”
“Please. I was the utmost gentleman considering you hijacked my spot.”
I snorted. “Hijacked your spot. You were invading my space.”
He intertwined his fingers with mine without another word. It was the first time in a long time that things felt absolutely back to the beginning. I leaned my head on his shoulder and continued to watch the waves. Neither of us spoke, but just enjoyed the moment. A rarity these days for both of us, it seemed. The Nick who had been on edge through the month of September seemed to have relaxed and found his inner peace again.
“Can I ask you something?” I ventured.
“Of course.”
“What was going on with you last month? You seem different now. It was like you were so on edge in September.”
“I hadn’t noticed.” It seemed like a vague answer and a deflection, which I recognized since it is my signature move.
“Okay.” I w
anted to push further, but he had dismissed the question and I didn’t want to ruin the moment we had.
“I’m sorry if you felt that way, Izzy. September sometimes is a hard month for me. I lost someone I loved dearly in September and, around the anniversary of the death, I guess I get a little lost, for lack of a better word.”
“I understand and that makes sense. I’m sorry for your loss.” I wanted to ask who it was, but something about his demeanor told me the subject was closed. As much as I hated to admit it, it was a bit of a comfort knowing that he wouldn’t share everything with me. It almost gave me permission to be okay with not telling him everything. It wasn’t like we were keeping secrets from each other, but I also felt we weren’t at a place where we had to share everything.
Did we have a sort of a relationship, undefinable in my mind? Sure. But I never considered it serious enough to bare my soul to him. Apparently, he didn’t either, as much as he would like to give the impression that I was the only one who was closed off. In reality, we both were closed off in some sections of our lives. Maybe we aren’t made to share everything with the ones we care about, especially if it could be hurtful to them. In my nonsensical logic, I could bring it all around to keeping things from someone is more about protecting them. Isn’t that what I had done with Jack? Protected him from the shameful person who had tried to kill herself?
“You working today?” Nick’s voice broke through my thoughts.
“Part of me thinks I need to, but the other part is tired of work. I feel like it has been relentless, around the clock lately, getting ready for the book release and, maybe, I just need, at least, a few hours of not thinking of work.”
Nick nodded. “If you are thinking that, you probably are way overdue for some down time.”
“Probably.” I agreed. “How about another cup of coffee? I can brew up a fresh pot.”
Nick agreed and stood, pulling me up with him. “Sounds good.”
We had no sooner entered the apartment when my cell phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and saw Officer Terrell’s name and number. “I have to take this.”
“Of course.”
I took the phone to the kitchen. “Hello?” I answered while preparing the coffee to brew.
“Ms. LaFayette?”
“Yes.”
“This is Officer Terrell and I just wanted to let you know we are still working on your break-in. We had a lead come in that there may have been a witness who saw someone coming out of your apartment.”
“Well, that’s good news. When will you know more?”
“I’m headed to meet with them now. I will keep you posted. I just wanted to check to make sure you haven’t had any other issues.”
“None at all. Thank you for the recommendation of the dead bolt. If nothing else, it’s an added feeling of security.”
“No problem at all. I’ll let you know when we have more information.”
“Thank you.” I hung up the phone just as the coffee had finished.
“Who was that?” Nick spoke behind me.
“That was the police officer who came here when my apartment was broken into.”
“Oh?” Nick’s voice was questioning, but there was something about the tone that make me turn to look at him.
“They think they have a witness who saw someone coming out of my apartment. They are going to talk with the person today.”
Nick crossed the kitchen and filled his coffee mug, and then mine. “Do you really think, after all this time, a witness has come forward? Or that it would even be accurate?”
“I don’t know, but I hope so. It would nice to have this tied up and know that they caught this jerk who trashed my place.”
Nick gave me a puzzled look. “I thought you said nothing was taken?”
“Nothing was, but I’ve had to replace all my kitchen dishes and glasses as well as the picture frames in the living room. The place was a mess. Whether they took anything or not, they violated my space.”
He nodded before heading to the living room. I stared after him wondering what I said that changed his attitude. He had gone from the old Nick back to the Nick of September, irritable and grouchy. I shook my head. Deep breath. Hopefully, it was just out of concern for me that the topic seemed to irritate him. In the back of my mind, though, there was this niggling feeling that something was going on.
By the time, I walked into the living room, the dark cloud over Nick seemed to dissipate and he was back to the man I knew. Silence filled the room as neither of us seemed to know what to say. “Nick?”
“Yeah.”
“What’s going on?”
“What do you mean?”
“You just seemed to get distant after the phone call from the police department.”
Nick shrugged. “Brings back some memories, I guess.”
“Of what?”
Nick looked at me. “I told you I lost someone dear to me in September, a few years ago.”
“Yes.”
“It was a break-in gone wrong. I guess that’s why I got so upset that you didn’t call me when your apartment was broken into.”
“I had no idea. I’m sorry, Nick.”
He pulled me closer to him on the couch. “It’s okay. You had no way of knowing. I guess the phone call just made me think that you might not be totally safe here by yourself.”
“I think I’m safe. I have the dead bolt now and there hasn’t been anything since I got back to indicate someone is still targeting me. I think Officer Terrell was right that someone just knew I wasn’t here so it was an easy target.”
“Maybe.”
I looked up at him and smiled. “You have been asked to stay, but you have refused.”
“I wanted to take it slow. To give you the time and space I thought you needed.”
“I understand that. But don’t play the protector when it was you who refused to stay.” I was teasing, but the look that crossed Nick’s face was rage before it disappeared and he smiled.
“Aren’t you the one who says you don’t need protecting?” He countered.
“Absolutely. I can take care of myself.” I was joking to a point, but I also didn’t want him to think I was helpless. Helpless was never a word I would use to describe me. Pig-headed and stubborn, maybe, helpless, no.
Nick shook his head. “You’re impossible.”
I grinned at him and snuggled in close.
“What if we went away one weekend? Just you and me, act like tourists and leave work behind.”
I sat up and looked at Nick. “When and where?”
“You’d consider it?”
I smiled. “Yes, depending on when and where.”
“How about the end of October, the last weekend. We can just go somewhere on the coast, not that far, drivable.”
I nodded. “Did you have some place in mind?”
Nick’s eyes shone like a child’s on Christmas morning. “I’ve heard the end of October is the sea turtle hatching time. Emerald Isle in North Carolina is supposed to be well known for this. We could go and see if we see the turtle hatching and their race for the ocean.”
“That would be cool. Little tiny turtles hatching. I have heard it’s an amazing thing to witness. I would love that.”
“Good. I’ll make the arrangements. I think it’s like a two and half to three-hour drive. We could leave after work, or early Saturday morning.”
“I could probably arrange to be out of work by around four or a little after and we could leave then. That would give us two nights.” My heart fluttered a bit. A weekend away with Nick. It could be just the thing to get me past the hump of holding him at arm’s length, and to forget Jack. I closed my eyes for a moment. I can’t even think about a weekend away with Nick without Jack’s name popping into my mind.
19
Jack
I arrived at my sister’s just in time to eat dinner with her. Charlotte broke into a huge grin as soon as I walked in and any apprehension I had been feeling about the day
was washed away. It was the right thing that had been done and it couldn’t have waited. I felt no guilt at packing up Madde’s stuff and throwing her out of the house. In fact, it felt good to have acted on the situation and I did what needed to be done.
I immediately started setting the table and talked with Charlotte as she sat in her high chair. She babbled back, brightening my day even further. It wasn’t until we had sat down and our plates had food on them that my sister cleared her throat.
“Well?”
I glanced at her. “Madde moved out today.”
“She moved out?”
I smiled. “Yes, with a little help from me. Technically, a lot of help from me. Her stuff was boxed and in the driveway waiting for her when she arrived.”
“Oh, no. What happened?” My sister’s lips curled just a little and I recognized her trying hard to keep from smiling.
“I saw her at the coffee shop with another man. She now tells me it has been going on for a year. So much for being so hurt about me bringing Charlotte home.” I shrugged.
“Wow.” She studied me. “Good for you. I think you did the right thing.”
I turned my attention to Charlotte and fed her a spoonful of squash. “Honestly, I feel so relieved. At first I was angry, but now…just relieved.”
After returning home with Charlotte and putting her to bed, I found myself wandering around the house enjoying having thoughts of how I could redecorate it and make it my own. When we had bought the house, Madde had been insistent that a man didn’t have a decorating bone in his body and decided to do all the interior decorating. I had let her, just to keep the peace. Another example of how I despised confrontation and would avoid it at all costs.
Making the Rules Page 9