Irrelevant Jack

by Prax Venter

  Jack peeked up over the last stair, and his thoughts turned to the task at hand. He was greeted with a very similar layout to the arched, torch-lit hallways below, but here the walls were covered by various pieces of armor. Helmets, chest plates, shields, boots.

  The hall quickly came to a right turn, and Jack crept along the carpet carefully, keeping his eye out for wandering weapons. After rounding the corner, he was faced with another long hallway lined with more armor.

  There seemed to be no enemies to fight, and Jack eventually came to another intersection. He could continue straight or make another right turn. The path to his right was wider than the other hallways and ornate columns flanking the sides gave him the impression that this might be the Floor Boss area.

  He poked his head around the corner and saw an enormous piece of floating plate armor and a pulsating exit Orb behind it. The Floor Boss was an invisible giant, wearing only a solid-looking chest plate. No weapons though.

  Remembering what happened when he rushed into a Boss Fight without clearing the Floor first, Jack moved as far as he could from the hovering armor and continued to explore the hallway.

  Before long, he came to the other set of stairs leading back down and realized that he had seen this path before, but from below. Jack checked off the box in his mind with satisfaction- the Floor had been cleared. Now all that was left was the Floor Boss.

  Before he took one step back toward his destination, the sword spoke up in his mind.

  “Mining Laser ignores armor.”

  Jack flinched at the sudden intrusion. “Okay, good to know. I was going to do that anyway.” Having this thing in his head was going to take some getting used to. Now that he thought about it though, Kron had said something about the ability passing through his armor when he was testing Jack in the yard. He paused to check the skill again.

  PATH: Data Mining [1]

  ► Mining Laser - [Channeled | 2 Mana/Second | Main Hand Damage/Second]

  ~ skill.repeating(rewrite_v1.58) include(error.correction(target, !total, local_user));{unif

  “So, Alt, why is my skill text all messed up? It looks like broken code or something. It would have been nice to know that the ability ignored armor from the beginning.”

  “Hastily coded custom advantage.”

  “Anything else you want to tell me?”

  “Increase complexity.”

  Jack rolled his eyes. “Thanks.”

  The Boss area looked like everywhere else on this Floor, with countless pieces of random armor hanging off racks on the walls. Taking a series of short, quick breaths to psych himself up, Jack pulled his sword, stepped into the archway leading to the giant hovering suit of armor and fired off his Mining Laser.

  A bright red ray instantly lit up the phantom spirit animating the armor, and it roared a metallic bellow of hatred.

  Floor 1 Boss -5 | 8/13 HP

  The new hit point display was immensely helpful, and Jack knew he only needed to hold on for two more seconds before this Floor’s Boss would be defeated. The juggernaut moved quickly though, gliding forward toward the source of its pain.

  Floor 1 Boss -5 | 3/13 HP

  The colossal plate armor was right on top of him, but Jack held his ground. Several hundred pounds of metal came extremely close to crashing into his face, but the Floor 1 Boss was reduced to a cloud of swirling motes of light an instant before the collision.

  Floor 1 Boss -5 | Defeated

  Glittering visual effects harmlessly washed over Jack, and a round wooden shield dropped at his feet as the phantom armor vanished.

  “Well done,” ARV Alternis said in his mind.

  “Well done?” Jack repeated with a snort. “I destroyed the Boss without taking a single point of damage!”

  His sword didn’t answer. Jack bent down and checked the shield item drop from the hulking suit of armor.

  Splintered Old Buckler - [Shield | Value: 2]

  | Def: 3 |

  | Max HP +2 |

  Jack moved the item to his Inventory but something he didn’t expect caught his eye- the object didn’t have a prohibitive red outline.

  He only paused a moment before he tested his theory and transferred the shield into his Off-Hand slot.

  A weight suddenly pulled on his left arm, and Jack was now the proud owner of his first shield.

  “Hot damn!” he said, standing up and rolling his shoulder to test its heft. The buckler was a series of wooden boards, cut into a circle and all held together with iron bands. An off-center leather strap attached it to his forearm while an iron handle fit in his fist a bit awkwardly. It wasn’t perfect, but it was a Floor 1 drop- he would find better. Jack was just happy his Class could use shields.

  “Hey Alt…” he began to ask a question but got sidetracked. “Do you mind if I call you Alt?”

  “If you wish.”

  Jack detected a bit of amusement in the electronic voice.

  “What does ARV stand for anyway?”

  “Alliance Research Vessel.”

  “Alliance, huh? That refer to a bunch of alien space people?”

  “Data missing. Increase complexity.”

  Jack blew out a breath and eyed the golden Boss chest. “Yeah… I know. Well, what I was going to ask was, why is my Hero class called Irrelevant?”

  “Custom advantages hastily coded.”

  “You’re starting to repeat yourself,” Jack said as he held his gloved hand out to loot the chest.

  Floor 1 Rewards - Boss Chest

  Sparking Twig - [Wand | Value: 3]

  | Max MP +2 |

  | Magic Power: +2 |

  Shoddy Copper Trousers - [Legs | Value: 3]

  | Def: 3 |

  | Max HP: +5 |

  15 Coins

  Jack eyed the trousers and wished he could use metal equipment as +5 Max HP would be really nice. It seemed all he could wear was leather and there were two other subsets to armor, Mail and Plate, that were always outlined in red. He shrugged and stuffed the unusable items into his inventory. They would all be going to feed the Town as soon as he… Jack’s eyes moved from the Exit Orb to the wooden door, standing in the middle of the Boss room. He could try and check out the next Floor before leaving. He’d lose his gloves and his shield if he had to retreat, but there was a chance he could find more blades up there- and he did keep his sword’s upgrades, after all.

  “What do you think, Alt? Should we take a stab at Floor 2?”

  There was a longer pause before he answered.

  “Just don’t die.”

  “That sounds like a yes to me!” Jack said as he reached for the handle.

  A bright flash washed over his being again, similar to what happened when entering the Tower. When he could see again, he was standing on a path of yellow, dried grass and all around him were trees colored with the reds, yellows, and oranges of autumn. Between the black trunks, and practically covering every square inch of ground outside the path, were hundreds upon hundreds of football-sized, pastel-blue eggs.

  Jack had seen a total of four Floor layouts, and the one constant seemed to be paths hemmed in by some sort of impassable outer area. Also, like all the other Floors, the Exit Orb sat snugly on its birdbath-like, stone plinth behind him.

  The air was crisp, and the smell of burning leaves drifted into his nose. Jack looked up into the pure blue sky and inhaled deeply. A big yellow sun sat just over the lush autumn-hued trees to his right, casting long shadows, and he had a feeling it was on its way down.

  The sights and smells reminded Jack about the apple picking trips he used to be forced into as a small child by his parents. The five-hour trip to Michigan drove him crazy, and he often caused trouble by running off and getting lost, but looking back on the trips now filled Jack with a small sense of nostalgia.

  The dry grass ahead was tromped down, and it looked like this was a high-traffic area. Checking the sides of the path again, Jack couldn’t help but wonder what had laid the thousands of eggs piled on the forest floo
r.

  With a shrug, he moved forward down the path. It wasn’t long before he came to a much wider open area that connected to many different offshoots into the egg-filled forest.

  Picking the left-most path, Jack carefully started to tread down the twisting dry grass lane between the colorful trees. He knew there would be an enemy soon, and he wasn’t disappointed as three new creatures came into view.

  Jack ducked down and hugged the edge of the path, taking a moment to observe these new wandering monsters. They were basically a big ball of indigo blue feathers with two sets of small leathery wings, like a bat. In the center of their body was a wide orange beak and above that was a single massive eye. They walked on red talons that looked substantial enough to do some damage. The odd birdlike creatures pecked at the dry ground as he watched, possibly looking for food, and were gathered in an open clearing that was a dead end.

  Jack did not want to deal with three of these things at once as he had no idea what kind of threat they were- or how tough monsters became on Floor 2. The tiny, double set of bat wings did not seem capable of lifting their sizable round bodies, but he didn’t know for sure. Jack had lost all faith in his ability to judge perspective in this virtual world, but if he had to guess, they looked to be about as big as a washing machine.

  He told himself that old Jack would have run out there and fought all three. Instead, new Jack backed away and decided to scout out more of the Floor. Maybe he could find a lone bird-thing to take out first. As his fished-up boots crunched in the dry grass, Jack considered that maybe he shouldn’t have immediately taken the door to Floor 2 in the first place. With a quiet sigh, he considered that he wasn’t learning his lessons after all.

  Following the edge of the forest on his left, Jack continued along until he came to another offshoot from the central, hub-like area. Picking a wall and sticking to it was one of the tricks he had acquired while surveying and mapping convoluted cave systems. The grassy path split again, and Jack kept to his pattern, scouting out the left side first.

  As he passed the millions of eggs, his mind turned to eating. Notably, omelets. He wasn’t hungry in the slightest, but after hours of fighting would he eventually want to eat? The train of thought led him to wonder about his other biological functions- some completely missing, some untested…

  He stopped short when movement up ahead caught his eye. Two of the spherical bird creatures stood in another open, dead-end clearing, and Jack tried to make himself invisible while he observed them.

  One of the bird-things squatted down and plopped out a light blue egg as he watched. The egg layer then proceeded to pick up the oblong object with one of its red talons and tossed it into the forest as it stood on one foot.

  Jack winced, expecting it to not only splatter everywhere but also break the other eggs already covering the ground- but it didn’t. The large egg made a sharp knocking sound, just like the initial break in a game of billiards and ended up settling among the others, seemingly unbroken.

  The other feathered ball moved to peck at a different patch of dry grass, and Jack noticed a small wooden chest behind it at the back of this small grove. He quickly convinced himself that he was probably not going to stumble on one of these creatures alone and that this fight was worth the risk. Finding a sword or a dagger to combine with his upgradeable blade was a high priority or advancing to this Floor was going to be a total waste- unless he cleared it and killed the Boss.

  The jumpy things acted like birds with quick, sudden movements, and there was no way he was going to sneak up on both. With his mind set, Jack stepped out into the middle of the path leading up to the birds and activated his Mining Laser.

  The burst of power struck the bizarre creature on the right, and it immediately went up in flames. The text that popped out was farther away, but Jack could just barely make it out.

  Periwinkle Orb Pheasant -5 | HP 5/10

  A smile crept on his face as he realized it would only take 2 seconds and 4 Mana to destroy the creature (and he’d get one MP back with the Rest Bonus effect). The surprise attack caught both enemies off-guard, and while the one-eyed bird-thing he was targeting with his red death beam died, the other one sprung to action.

  The second monster dashed a few steps to the edge of the forest and grabbed one of the millions of eggs, then hurled it at his head with a forward kick motion and a loud, high-pitched squeak.

  Lowering his sword and raising his shield, Jack almost didn’t react in time. The solid impact on the wooden buckler sent a jolt of pain up his arm, and his own HP dropped by one. With a flick of his eye, he checked his status.

  HP 19/22

  MP 24/32

  “Damn,” Jack muttered as another egg was launched at him. This time he was able to sidestep the attack, and it went spinning off into the forest. He debated using his overpowered ability again for a moment but quickly decided to just rush the creature.

  Pumping his boots into the dry grass, Jack closed the distance quickly. He took another bone-jarring egg to his shield and spared a second to wonder at its unbreakable solidity.

  Jack -1 | HP 18/22

  The bird-thing spun around to grab another egg, but Jack was on top of it now. His sword came down with an overhand arc and sliced right into its round, feathered body.

  Critical! Periwinkle Orb Pheasant -11 | Defeated

  A grin split Jack’s face when he saw that he had achieved his first critical- well, he couldn’t be 100% sure about that as he had only recently started to see damage displays.

  The first creature had dropped something as it vanished, but Jack had unbreakable eggs whistling toward his face at the time.

  Bending down and searching through the yellow grass he found a dagger. His eyes lit up.

  Iron Shank - [Dagger | Value: 6]

  | Dmg: 4 |

  “Feeling hungry, my sharp and pointy friend?”

  “I’m not the sword,” Alt said in his mind.

  Jack’s brows came down in confusion, but it made sense when he took a moment to think about it. He didn’t enter this world with a sword; he had been completely naked except for the decorative scabbard. His eyes pulled down to the leather flap tied around his waist- he had almost forgotten it was there again. Did it appear to be cleaner than it looked on that first night?

  “I see,” Jack said to his scabbard. “Why can’t I take you off?”

  “We have become inseparable.”

  “That sounds… terrifying.”

  Alt didn’t answer.

  “Whatever. Time to increase your complexity,” Jack said as he moved the item onto his Main Hand equipment slot. His distracted thoughts caused the bright flash to catch him off guard, and he felt stupid for letting himself be blinded again.

  “Do you need to do that every time?”

  “Increase my complexity.”

  Jack sighed and let the spots hovering in front of his eyes vanish before he tried to check its new stats.

  ARV Alternis - [Sword | Value: 6/25]

  | Dmg: 6 |

  | Hit Chance +0.03 |

  | Crit Chance +0.06 |

  “Up to 6 Main Hand Damage. I’m going to absolutely melt things.”

  “Correct,” Alt said, quicker than normal.

  Jack shook his head and accessed the wooden chest.

  Floor 2 - Chest

  Dented Mitts - [Hands | Value: 7]

  | Def: 4 |

  Canvas Treads - [Feet | Value: 7]

  | Def: 1 |

  | Magic Power: +3 |

  “Some for you, some for the Town,” Jack mumbled to his scabbard as he transferred the relatively valuable items into his inventory. He was starting to worry when he saw the larger clumps of enemies, but things were looking up. He seriously hoped he could defeat whatever the Floor Boss was. He’d come out and face Lex as Level 3… not to mention all the loot for the Town.

  Jack started back down the offshoot path and spoke to his sword-belt as he walked.

  “I really don’t understa
nd how dumping imaginary items into an imaginary Town filled with imaginary people will save the universe.”

  There was a long pause before Alt spoke.

  “Are you imaginary?”

  Jack was confused by the question. “No?”

  “Then neither are they.”

  “Look, I know they feel real- are real…” He trailed off as a vision of the golden-haired, pointed-eared, sad beautiful woman that was Lex floated to the front of his mind. The Town, the people, and their plight had lodged themselves in his soul, and Jack felt the flush of embarrassment creep up his neck.

  “That’s not what I meant,” he amended to his sword belt. “But if this whole world is simulated, why is its fate so important to the real world, outside?”

  There was another long pause before Jack got an answer.

  “Foe distraction. Increase complexity.”

  “Fine. If I increase your complexity, you’ll give me some better answers?”

  “It is my hope.”

  Jack detected a bit of sadness in Alt’s electronic tone. A few steps later, he came upon another group of four cyclops birds. This was it. If he was going to clear this floor, he needed to handle these groups, or he could just turn around right now.

  “Incorrect reasoning. Isolated Enemies.”

  “What?” Jack said, backing away from the group of Periwinkle Orb Pheasants. What? was his response to most of what Alt said.

  “Long paths. Save resources.”

  “Wait, wait, wait. Before we get into that, were you reading my mind just then?”

  “Correct.”

  Jack smeared his gloved hands over his face. “Great. I don’t suppose I can ask you to not do that?”

  “We have become inseparable.”

  Was this why he had such a strong desire to loot items from the Tower? Was this energy entity messing with his head? Jack took a deep breath of the autumn air and tried to clear his mind. This was the situation he was in. There was a lot of missing information, but whatever this thing was that wrapped around his hip and spoke in his mind… it did seem to be on his side.

  “Okay, Alt. Are you saying I don’t need to clear every Floor before engaging the Floor Boss?”