First Up

by Ella Jackson

  I got to help her out because she needed me, that was all. "As much as your car is nice, it’s a little small to sleep in. Now, you think I'm just doing it to suck up to you?"

  “Will, I’m sorry about that. As I was saying earlier, I appreciate you helping me out, I really do."

  She was the kind of girl that rarely went out of her way to make friends with someone like me, which is the first reason I was so thrown off by her sudden friendliness, then going cold on me all of a sudden.

  That wasn’t me.

  And what had once been so important to me — winning - suddenly seemed to be less important than changing this girl's opinion of me. I usually only needed to play soccer to clear my head, but it wasn’t working this time.

  “You belong with your kind of people, Will. Not mine.”

  I paused and looked at her. “What?”

  She looked at the ground. “I'm getting out of here.”

  “Now? But you've-"

  "Look, it's not you. I've had enough of this thing with Amy for one fucking day." She sighed.

  “Hey, it hasn’t been all bad. My week's not been the greatest, frankly.”

  She looked up at me, confused. “Is another player in trouble?” I nodded.

  “Okay, Captain.” She's been looking forward to saying that all week.

  “I’ve heard that one.”

  She looked askance at me for a second before relaxing her face again. “I was just askin’, me hearty.”

  “Know what? Sam was right about you,” I said. "You're an idiot sometimes."

  She grinned back. “You don’t want to know what she says about me.”

  I let out a deep breath and stuck my tongue out at her. “I think it’s safe now.”

  “Good.” She covered her mouth, trying to hide her giggle, but her smiling blue eyes gave it away.

  “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

  She put out a hand. “Just so we’re clear, we’re not doing this again.”

  “Uh, I guess I haven’t really thought it through.”

  I didn’t want a woman. If I didn’t know better, I’d think she was jealous somehow; like she thought I had groupies seven nights a week or something.

  I grabbed my coat and bag and was just starting to stand up when she reached out another hand. I put my other hand on that one and slowly turned her around, so she was facing me.

  Perfect timing.

  If I wanted to keep Tanya as a friend, the last thing I could do was think that way about her, let alone actually touch her or try to kiss her. Thankfully, she couldn't read my mind, or she would probably be even more pissed because I’m pretty sure I was having some pretty serious fantasies about her in that uniform.

  But, when I looked into her eyes, everything was right there, all the things I was feeling—hurt and anger and pain, hope and love.

  I was in over my head. I knew it. She leaned forward, inches from my face, just like in my apartment.

  I knew what I was going to do. I knew it. I hesitated for more than one reason; I didn’t want to cause Amy more pain, and I didn't want to spoil the balance I had with Tanya. That knowledge had ripped into me, and from that moment on, I’d done my damnedest to ignore fate—but then perhaps this was the way things were supposed to play out for us.

  She put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it. "Catch you later, buddy."

  Who was she kidding? She was sure as hell wanting me to kiss her. This couldn’t be good.

  Eight

  Life just wasn’t fair sometimes. I learned that lesson the hard way when it came to guys, and it was why I wasn't getting involved, no matter what.

  I was so angry that my best friend was stuck on this douche Ricky, but mainly upset that it had happened when things were going well.

  I sat back down and got back to work. I couldn’t totally disagree with Will; all the components I thought made up friendship were missing between us, but all the components which make up romance? Yeah, they were there in spades.

  Goddamn it, it was going to be a long night. Amy deserved to be happy, and if it meant me keeping my distance from Will that was fine. So much had changed from when we were teenagers, but she still had the ability to fall for a guy at the drop of a hat.

  “Do you need any help with those files?” I looked at Matt again from across my desk.

  “I was just going to ask what you think you’re doing,” he said stubbornly.

  "What do you mean?" I knew damn well what he meant, but I wasn't about to make it easy for him.

  ”Having not spoken to you about guys in a month, I would have assumed that you didn't want anything serious, and this was clearly what that guy was in the mood for, Tanya."

  Huh. really? That evening when I was in Will's apartment, I hadn't thought anything more of it, just polite conversation. I wanted to have a moment alone with Amy to tell her about my conversations with Will, to let her know that I really had listened. Matt caught my expression and seemed just as confused as I was.

  “What are you getting at?” I asked.

  "Look, I don't want to get in your way, Tanya. But the way that Dempsey guy looks at you - he's got more than friendship on his mind, trust me."

  Matt had been overly influenced by the antics of the soccer players, and even though he was my friend… I couldn’t pretend that it didn’t show.

  "Ha. Sometimes I could use someone in my way, to be honest."

  “Are you suggesting you want me to talk you out of it?” He smirked. “Why are you having this conversation now?”

  I laughed. “No, just someone to stop me when I'm about to do something really dumb. You're full of common sense; let's face it."

  "That's the first real compliment you've ever given me. What’s so important about staying away from this guy?” He saw my expression, then shut his mouth and looked away.

  “Oh no. Don't tell me, let me guess. Amy, right?" He faced me. “You know she's seeing other people.”

  I nodded. “I do actually like him, you know that, right? But only as a friend.”

  “But you just can’t seem to get this stuff quite right.” I narrowed my eyes. “Whaddya mean?”

  He shrugged. "You run into guys you don't want anything with, and then end up in situations where they've got no choice but to fall for you."

  "No choice?" I shuffled the pens about on my desk. "Hey, I didn't make him take me home when my car battery was flat. And he stepped out of the room and shut the door like he was doing me a favour.”

  “Tanya, I don’t understand why you’re so hard on yourself. You deserve to be happy, just like everyone else."

  I laughed. Of course that’s what he thought. “Maybe I do. Look, Matt, I know you're worried about me, but I'm not interested in seeing anyone right now, and that's that."

  He nodded and turned to go back to his desk, obviously disappointed. I didn’t mean to have this conversation.

  I realize that the team hadn't punished the soccer players after the last escapade, but I’d hate for Will to be the one they chose to make an example of because he was the captain.

  Perhaps Amy had always been this way, and I’d never seen it because I’d been too afraid to admit it.

  But Matt was right. Will had been nothing but kind to me. At the time, I'd planned to scare Ricky away; tell him that he'd better leave my friend alone or he'd regret it.

  But since then I'd started to wonder if maybe he wasn't so bad for her after all. If I knew Amy, she was going to find some way to be with her man.

  I sat back down and got to work. Two days had passed since I'd been to Will's place, and though I still hadn’t told Amy about it, I was getting closer every day.

  I thought I was being considerate, but maybe I was just avoiding the issue. He must’ve gotten this all the time, and if he treated her considerately? Well, what was the harm in the end? I didn't talk about it to other people because I felt like it wasn't my business.

  But no more. Part of me wanted to ask him to not see her.
>
  I just helped out her with what I could, and I didn't presume I knew better. I could find a guy if I wanted one, of course. No problem. So simple. It was important to me Amy got over Ricky, and if another guy was the therapy, so be it.

  I wasn’t the only one, though.

  "So, this Dempsey guy." It was Matt again.

  I cringed and turned. I didn’t want to hear.

  "He left his address for you. Written on a cookie."

  Or maybe just a little bit. A cookie? How could anyone not like him? I didn’t say anything about how much I'd had to eat so far as I took the cookie from Matt.

  I bit my lip to hide my smile before I even looked at the cookie. Can I get away from this guy now, or what?

  But what if he wasn’t really interested? I could call him out on it, but did I really want to tell him I'd been contemplating him as part of my love life? Crap. Was it so hard to believe that we could really be a couple?

  Fine. I would take a risk and go and explain things to him. He might already be desperately in love with me, and he’d put up with it, or I'd arrest him.

  “Do you know the address?” Closing down my computer, I pulled my bag from the drawer as I faintly listened to one of the beat cops discuss his workout.

  “Suuuuure, Tanya. Here it is.”

  * * *

  Just like chocolate on a pizza, I was deeply skeptical that this was a good idea as I pulled up to his apartment building.

  The doorman nodded and pulled the door open, which I took as a good sign. He looked back to me with a pointed brow, and I felt myself smiling.

  "Thanks, man."

  “And I was supposed to forget all about you, right?” He watched me for a moment. “You know who you're going to see?”

  "Yeah, Dempsey. Apartment 3A."

  "He in some kind of trouble?"

  I shrugged. “It’s a long story.”

  "I figured you'd say that." He ushered me in. “Whatever. See you later." I turned off my phone, so as to make sure Amy wouldn't call while I was in Will's apartment.

  A few minutes later I knocked on Will’s door. He answered wearing nothing except a towel.

  “Oh.”

  Glorious muscles.

  So. Too many. Glorious muscles.

  His eyes drifted down my body and back up. "It's you."

  Oh good grief. This is not how this was supposed to go. I was supposed to be here to convince him to go out with my best friend.

  I looked up and met his eyes.

  No. Keep it clean, Tanya.

  I was just kidding anyway. He’d seen me checking him out. And he watched me. Genuinely surprised.

  “I, uh…I brought you something.” I looked up at him and put one hand up in a gesture of peace.

  I don't know if it was because it was my lucky night, if I just looked extra pathetic, or if it was both.

  “You brought snacks with you?” He didn't attempt to put any clothes on.

  He was making this so difficult. He made me feel like a horrible person. I wasn’t used to that. But okay. Simply put, I didn’t want to be the kind of girl who jumped the queue, so to speak.

  I nodded. “I brought these for you.” The only flavour of cookies at the store had been salted caramel and chocolate swirl. Maybe, just maybe, I was thinking about when I'd been a jerk to him and was regretting it; maybe he didn't want anything to do with me. I couldn’t blame him.

  “You can do both.”

  When I had to be straight with him.

  “Salted caramel and chocolate swirl.”

  He stopped and took one, then stood aside. “Then you'd better come in.”

  "Thanks." I nodded.

  He smiled broadly. "Are you going to threaten to arrest me again? You could probably get me for indecent exposure, now I think about it." I would loved to have shut him up with a fist to his mouth, but I just took it, knowing there was nothing I could really do to stop it.

  “It’s a peace offering. An apology.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Is it?”

  I nodded unenthusiastically. “I haven’t been really fair to you. You’ve been nothing but kind to me this whole time, and I’ve been a dick. I'm not planning to become your biggest cheerleader, though."

  “Even a little bit?” He just grinned, and I smirked back despite myself.

  “Okay then. I hope we can start over again.” He’d smiled, but that was it.

  “I— okay. I think I can do that.”

  He extended his hand. “Hi, I’m Will.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I didn’t think you meant that literally.”

  He frowned and pulled his hand back. “Do you want to come in? Can I trust you not to arrest me?"

  It was tempting. Really, really tempting. “Okay, but I can't stay. I want to get home to Amy.”

  He nodded. “You can make it up to me by coming to watch the team practice tomorrow night."

  “What? Why?”

  He shrugged. “If we’re going to be friends, I want to know that you understand what I do, and it's not pointless to you. It might be a little stupid for you, but that's OK."

  I wanted to tell him that I couldn't stand sport. But if we were going to keep doing this, and I was sure we would, I needed to make a good impression and really look the part, since I still wasn’t too sports savvy. And he’d given me a perfect excuse. Besides, I think it would help Amy if she knew I was there.

  I nodded slowly. “Okay.”

  A smile spread across his lips. “Great. I’ll see you tomorrow, I’ll text you the info.”

  “You don’t have my number.” He smirked. “I'm sure I can get it...”

  I closed my eyes for a second, enjoying the fantasy of punching him. He gave me that cocky smile of his. "You don't mean that."

  "I really do. I know where you are most days, after all." I rolled my eyes as he pulled out his phone and made a call.

  "Okay, Jessie? I need a number. Remember the cop who threatened to arrest me? Yeah, that's the one. I need her number. Can you do that? Great."

  A few minutes passed and I shook my head. "You can't do that."

  He grinned. “Okay, officer, this year, we're going to cover Privacy, 2019 Style. Just watch me."

  He took out his phone and tapped the screen a few times. My phone rang and I quickly swiped it from my pocket.

  “Really? Goddamnit Dempsey.”

  He smiled. “Just checking.” I scowled even though he couldn’t see me. “I’ll see you later.”

  “See you there.” I walked down the stairs and waited there until I heard the apartment door shut. I hadn’t expected any different, but still.

  The rain had died down, but even as I got into my car and rolled my window down, I didn’t want the night to end.

  I leaned up on my side of the car and looked up at his window. I was stuck between telling him to take a hike, and...

  I shook my head and laughed. There was nothing else to say. If I just sat idle any longer, I would be jumping out of my car and rushing back into Will’s arms, which was not the right course of action.

  I was going to try to cover it up. It was a sad truth, but I hadn’t felt like this for years.

  Nine

  I sort of expected Coach Williams to chew us out for the PR disaster that was Saturday night. Maybe we deserved it; in trouble before we'd played a single game as a team.

  This was the most important season of my career to date, and I was counting on the fact that if the papers did declare open season on us, Coach wouldn’t want to hear any shit before we took the field.

  As I changed, I thought back to Tanya. She made me think I wasn’t good enough for her, and I hated how that felt. I thought she'd seen a little bit of something between us, but she pretended like it didn't exist. I'd had to get used to life here, and put my time in the UK behind me. That meant something, and now that I had gotten used to being here, I'd begun to make plans for my future.

  Trying to put it out of my head, I walked out of the changing rooms
and went over to where Ricky and Joe sat, with their workbooks on their knees, studying plays. Joe's face said it all; he was panicking about something. I pulled off my headphones as I approached.

  “What are the odds, right?” I sat down next to Joe and put a hand on his shoulder. “We’re going to hit the weights room for some strength training.”

  “But you really need to consider telling Coach the truth,” he continued.

  I leaned back and took a sip of water. “What are you talking about?”

  Joe stood up and squatted on his haunches, stretching his shoulder as he did so. “We’re not going to get far unless we fix the problems with our goalkeeper. You know it better than we do.”

  "You mean his work ethic?"

  "Yeah. He's talented, but this is the third training session he's missed. Out of a grand total of four."

  “Okay, I hear you. By the way, you’re sitting on my lunch.” I cursed and immediately realized my mistake.

  "Sorry, man. Just a bit distracted."

  “What’s on your mind, Will?” Ricky grinned. "Don't tell me, I can guess. It's the cop, right? She helping you with your...rehab?"

  I’m not sure this is the kind of rehab I'm supposed to be doing, but it did cross my mind.

  I was damned if I was going to let these idiots know that, though. He and his new girl were still an item, but maybe if he lasted longer than ten minutes with this one, he wouldn't be so bad on the pitch. Then again, he’d been the one to bring up Tanya, simply because I didn’t want to talk about it.

  I tried to change the subject. “Good training session yesterday.” They looked at each other.

  "C'mon man, it was lousy. We had hands for feet, to coin a phrase."

  I shrugged. "It could use some work, sure. But we're here to get steadily better."

  “I’ve been trying to find a way to meet the big man, Sherbourne, since I heard he'd bought the team.” Ricky leaned forward. "Do you know how to get to him?"

  "Practice, man, practice. He'll be at the games if we're winning. Other than that, I don’t know.” I rolled my eyes. “Besides, who cares about the owner? We're just here to play, man."