The Heart of Oldra

by Georgina Makalani

  She opened her mouth to explain and then snapped it shut.

  ‘Have you found your gifts yet?’

  ‘I’m not sure what you think I will find,’ she said, standing taller, but she hoped he wasn’t as aware of where she had been or what she had been up to.

  ‘Exactly what I need,’ he said, then stepped back and disappeared into the shadows of the cavern.

  She watched for a moment before turning back to the two studying her at the hearth.

  ‘You control the lights,’ she said to Rhali.

  The girl shook her head too quickly.

  ‘When I was in the birthing chamber, where you first took me when I fell...’

  ‘Where we thought you would die,’ Teven interrupted.

  ‘Rhali changed the lighting. You can make the orbs brighter. So why is it so dark in here?’

  ‘That is not my doing,’ she said sternly.

  ‘But you could fix it.’

  ‘I can’t,’ she said, more subdued.

  ‘You can.’

  ‘Stop it,’ Teven snapped. ‘You have no idea how we live, or why we live the way we do.’

  ‘Do you?’ Cora asked too quickly.

  ‘We cannot question what we have. We are here, and that is all there is to it.’

  Teven’s words made her angry. How could he want to live like this? How could he want the scared and worried people of the clan to live like this? A girl had died, after all, simply because she had fallen for the wrong boy and they had conceived a child.

  ‘Who was he to mate?’ Cora asked aloud, and they looked at each other. ‘Your...’ She stopped and took a breath. ‘The boy from the hearth.’ She nodded beyond the fire. ‘He wouldn’t allow them to be together, but this is a small group, and he needs a family of his own if he is to be Chief one day.’

  ‘He is too young,’ Teven said.

  ‘It would not have mattered if she was to be the chosen mate.’

  ‘This is not like your clan,’ Teven said, moving closer to her and taking her arm. ‘This is a very different place. Don’t try to understand.’

  She nodded slowly, wondering if the scar on his heart was deeper than she had imagined it to be. She could hear movement behind her, and he released her quickly. She turned to find the mother of the girl she had just been talking of. Cora felt her face grow hot and hoped the woman hadn’t heard her words. She hadn’t been rude about the girl, but the memory would still be raw.

  ‘Thank you for the wood,’ she said. ‘Teven works so hard. It is good to see him rest.’

  Cora nodded her head in return, and Teven sighed.

  The woman took a careful step forward, but she was still outside the hearth boundaries. ‘Is there any meat?’

  Teven shook his head and, without a word, she bowed her head again and turned away.

  ‘Where does the meat come from?’ Cora asked.

  ‘Far. Too far for you.’

  ‘Not too far for a dragon,’ she whispered. She could sense Serassa out in the trees somewhere, and it was comfortable. She had felt alone for so long. She worried for Dra, but the advice or presence of any of the dragons would be of benefit. Ariandi was always full of good advice.

  ‘What have you done to Serassa?’ he asked softly, again too close.

  Cora shook her head.

  ‘I can’t hear her,’ he murmured, turning away.

  ‘We should both hear her,’ she said. Teven turned back, his finger to his lips, but she shook her head. ‘We are both Oldra; we can both talk to all. We should hear all. I feel Serassa but no others, not even the one we spoke to yesterday.’

  ‘They are linked to another clan.’

  A sick feeling filled Cora. She was separated from her own people, and in doing so had become separated from her dragons. She knew the dragons of the Keetar; she could talk with them when she chose, and they her, but they were not part of the collective conversation of the Penna dragons.

  Was she so separated from everyone now that when a dragon chose to talk with her, they separated themselves? Despite the feeling of loss, Cora smiled. And then she started to cry.

  Teven stepped forward. ‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered.

  She shook her head.

  ‘Having another here like me has confused things.’

  ‘I don’t think we are meant to be connected,’ she said quickly, wiping at her face.

  ‘Connected?’ he said, blushing.

  ‘Oldra and Oldra,’ she whispered. ‘I feel Serassa, but you don’t. She has chosen me,’ she said through a sob.

  ‘That is why I don’t hear the dragons of the Nerrim unless I am there?’

  She nodded. ‘Separate clan, separate dragon clan. How many dragons do you hear?’

  He shrugged. ‘I don’t know. Sometimes many, sometimes only a few.’

  ‘Who did Serassa belong to?’

  ‘No one. She was too young, not yet fully formed, not yet connected to a group.’

  Cora looked at him closely. ‘I’m not connected to a group, and in many ways neither are you. But she has taken me on without pulling us into a clan.’

  ‘This is a clan,’ he whispered hoarsely, the frustration back in his voice.

  ‘But it isn’t a dragon clan. There are no dragons here. The people don’t even believe they exist.’

  He sighed and looked back to his sister, then straightened up. ‘Rhali belongs to my people. She is family.’

  ‘There are many of your family down in the valley, and they didn’t claim you either. Rhali belongs to this clan. She heals this clan.’

  He shook his head again, and Cora could sense the frustration and anger. ‘I am this clan,’ he snapped. Then he grabbed her arm and dragged her out into the cool evening air. The sun had disappeared, but the sky still held a hint of light. She thought he would stop and shout then, but he pulled her around and into the birthing chamber.

  ‘I do everything I can for this clan. You said yourself they respect me as a leader.’

  ‘I can’t understand it, but the dragons are connected. I can sense Serassa. She is with me, like Dra was, like the dragons of the Penna, always in my head. And now they are not. It is like I have lost them, like I’m separated from them.’

  ‘So, you took one of mine for your own.’

  Cora stepped back from his anger, but he stepped with her, and she realised then that she was trapped in this small space. How had she felt so connected and comfortable with him? Now she was only nervous. She was scared of him, she realised. And she didn’t need that, not when she had his father wanting so much from her—now the son seemed to want to take what little she had as well.

  ‘She chose me,’ she snapped. He pushed her against the wall and grabbed her hand, pressing it to his chest.

  ‘You know me,’ he whispered, the frustration replaced with something she couldn’t quite place. And then he was kissing her. It took her by surprise, and although she pushed against him, it wasn’t with any real effort. She was curious to see what her father had talked of.

  Cora tried to hold on to the moment for too long before pushing him away. As he smiled down on her, Serassa appeared. Then the small dragon was pushing her way inside the small cavern, trying to get between them.

  ‘This is not something to come between,’ he murmured.

  Cora’s heart thumped. Her face was hot, and she knew. No matter what connection she thought she had with Teven, whether he was Oldra or not—he was not the man for her.

  ‘You look disappointed,’ he said, sounding it.

  She nodded slowly; thankful the dragon was there. ‘I expected sparks,’ she said.

  ‘Are you saying I’m not a good kisser?’ he asked, grinning.

  She shook her head. ‘It is not what it should be,’ she said, again wanting an escape. The dragon managed to put herself between them as she moved towards the door and out into the night air. The dragon pushed Cora out before she blocked the door.

  ‘Why did you come?’ Cora asked.

  Be
cause you called. Your voice is loudest now.

  Cora nodded. ‘Will you take me to Artell?’

  He won’t let me in.

  Cora laughed despite the heavy feeling in her chest. ‘He will let me in, I hope.’

  You think he is the Oldra, she hummed, directing Cora away from the cavern.

  Cora put her arms around the dragon’s neck, and they lifted into the sky. They touched down near the cliff edge, far enough away from everyone. ‘Are you happy with only my voice?’ Cora asked.

  We will grow.

  Cora sighed. Maybe her place was out here, alone. Maybe they would find others. ‘What if my father is wrong?’ she asked. ‘What if Artell isn’t the one either? Oldra must be with Oldra,’ she said. She had heard it so many times, and her father had smiled that special way every time he’d said it. ‘Not everyone can have what they have,’ she murmured.

  The dragon nudged her, and she smiled.

  Come.

  Cora climbed back onto the small dragon and closed her eyes against the world, but it wasn’t long until the feeling changed around her. Although it was dark, she knew they were somewhere darker, and then they were landing at the base of the dribbling waterfall.

  ‘I told you there was not enough room,’ Artell called.

  Cora must be here with you. Oldra must be with Oldra.

  Artell appeared in the opening then. The dragon took to the wing and disappeared into the inky black above her. Cora sighed.

  ‘Is that true?’ he asked.

  Cora was beginning to think her father had made a terrible mistake. Artell motioned her in, and she followed him back to the fire.

  ‘My parents are both Oldra,’ she said slowly.

  ‘Neither of mine were,’ he said matter-of-factly.

  ‘Oh,’ she said, then shook her head and took a deep breath. ‘My father has told me my whole life that Oldra can only be with Oldra, and that I would understand that when I met the man I was to be with.’

  Artell scratched at his head and looked at her as though she was explaining something only she thought was important. ‘Teven is Oldra,’ he said.

  She nodded.

  ‘But you are here. How do you know that he is not the Oldra you were searching for?’

  ‘I’m not searching,’ she said, although she realised it must look like that. ‘I didn’t want to believe him. I had Deen.’

  ‘Deen and Teven, lucky girl.’

  Cora looked down at her hands and willed the tears that seemed so determined to fall that this was not the place, nor the time. ‘You have sight,’ she said.

  ‘Do you want me to look into our future?’

  ‘Mine,’ she said. ‘Just mine.’

  ‘I don’t know that it is worthwhile sharing what is to come. You may try to change it.’

  ‘I don’t think I can, no matter how I try.’

  ‘You were running away,’ he said.

  ‘I didn’t mean to run this far, but I think my mother knew where I was going.’

  ‘She never told you?’

  Cora shook her head. ‘Only that I would be something great. Or that I was something great. She thinks I saved our people from the shadows before I was born.’

  ‘Are you scared?’

  ‘Not of the shadows,’ she said, which was mostly true. Merik appeared in them too often, but Cora wasn’t quite sure what she should be afraid of when it came to him. ‘Is Merik an Ancient?’

  ‘He is hard to define; but then, so are you. What does your mother think you have?’

  Cora shook her head.

  He held out his hand, his face serious. ‘I will look for you.’

  She placed her hand in his and again was surprised by the lack of emotion, the calm comforting warmth. She closed her eyes and opened her mind to him.

  They stood in the shadows, which felt cloying and scary for the first time in a while. Merik’s face appeared in them again, and she jumped, but the warm hand in hers kept her grounded. As the face drifted in and out of the shadows, Cora wasn’t sure if she was scared or he was disappearing. Then she felt a sharp, burning sensation over her heart. She put her hand to the mark.

  A choir of voices filled her mind. So many dragons, yet none she knew. Although as she listened to their call, she knew every one of them. Serassa stood out amongst them.

  Then she was standing in the middle of the Penna cavern. It looked just like it always had, and yet very different. An old woman moved slowly through a nearly empty main cavern as Cora stepped forward.

  ‘Mama?’

  The woman stopped and looked Cora over, her eyes sad. Then she turned away.

  ‘Mama, what has happened?’

  The woman stopped and turned back over her shoulder. ‘Don’t let him take what is yours.’

  ‘I don’t have anything for him to take.’

  The old woman turned and appeared as the mother Cora remembered leaving. ‘He will take all he can, as he has from his own people. He cannot see you here, but he can see you. He has seen what you will become, as have I. Listen to your heart and the hearts around you.’

  As she faded into the shadows, Cora blinked into the light. She released Artell’s hand and stepped back. Her mother still knew so much more than she would tell. And none of it helped her. Look into her own heart—what did she think she would find there? Surely not enough to help these people, or to stop Merik from whatever it was he wanted. And it wouldn’t get her home.

  ‘She has great gifts,’ Artell said softly. Cora looked up, remembering he was there. ‘You too will be a great Ancient.’

  Cora laughed. ‘I am supposed to be Chief, according to my father, and I don’t have any real skill.’

  ‘You healed Teven, not only the wound in his chest but the scars on his heart, revealing who he was.’

  She shook her head. She may have lifted some of the pain, but she wasn’t sure of the man he was.

  ‘You healed me,’ Artell said, stepping forward.

  ‘I wasn’t given a choice.’ Cora felt the same panic close in around her as she had when she had felt his life slipping away. ‘I struggle to heal. It is not as easy as it should be, as it is for my mother.’

  ‘I don’t think it is meant to be easy. I wonder if your mother struggles more than you allow her. She is a woman like any other.’

  ‘She is like no one else.’

  ‘There have been Ancients before.’

  Cora nodded, unsure what he was getting at.

  ‘They have had various skills. They do things differently. You have lived long enough to know them. Are they all like your mother?’

  She thought about the Ancients she knew and those she had learned of through her mother and others. ‘I’m not like them. I’m not the great Oldra they all talk of.’

  ‘Maybe not,’ Artell said softly. She looked at him again.

  ‘I’m not good at anything. I’m not good enough to be Ancient. I am simply an Oldra. I talk to dragons, all dragons.’

  ‘How many dragons do you talk with now?’

  She looked down at the ground then, feeling more overwhelmed than ever before. ‘One,’ she murmured.

  He took her hand and led her to the mat where she watched him sit down, but she wasn’t sure she should sit with him. ‘You were to show me the future,’ she said.

  ‘Maybe it is not set.’ He smiled up at her. ‘You could look at my past.’

  She sat down slowly then. ‘Do you not know it?’

  ‘It may not be as I remember.’

  ‘I’m not sure how it happens,’ Cora said as he held out his hands again. ‘I haven’t searched for it, it tends to find me.’

  ‘Then let us see.’

  She took his hands in hers and focused on his face. His eyes were pale, but not the same as Teven’s, and she focused on the hint of green. He closed his eyes, and she felt him open up to her. She closed hers and found herself standing at a hearth in the cavern in the valley. It was open and bright, and she felt at home. A small boy wandered betwe
en the hearths, but no one paid him any attention. He was searching for something. Cora walked slowly towards him.

  ‘You should not be here,’ she said in a small boy’s voice. ‘You should go before they become angry.’

  ‘Won’t you help?’

  ‘I can’t. You know we can’t.’

  ‘Artell,’ a woman’s voice called, and the hide that led to the Ancient’s cavern was pulled back.

  The older woman motioned him forward with a smile, then looked at the other boy and gave him a gentle wave to go. He hung his head and headed for the door. As Artell watched him go, Cora felt the concern the boy had for the other and the disappointment that there was nothing he could do.

  ‘Don’t encourage him,’ the older woman said as he entered the cavern.

  ‘I’m not.’

  ‘What have you worked on since we last met?’ she asked, indicating the mat by the fire. He sat quickly and crossed his legs.

  ‘I encouraged the suns to rise early.’

  ‘An easy task,’ the woman said slowly.

  ‘No one will let me get close enough to help with anything else. I saw...’ He stopped, and Cora could feel his heart pounding, the fear too real.

  ‘What did you see?’

  ‘Mother,’ he said, the lump tight in his throat and the loss overwhelming.

  ‘She is not gone,’ the older woman said kindly, reaching forward and putting her hand on his. He pulled away quickly.

  ‘I don’t like to see what is to come. It comes without me asking for it. A touch, a thought.’

  ‘Henda,’ the older woman called, and a young woman appeared.

  ‘Yes, Ancient?’

  ‘Work with the boy. I fear he may let his gifts take him over.’

  The woman nodded, and Cora recognised her for the woman she had met. She looked nearly the same. The older woman climbed to her feet and left them alone in the cavern.

  ‘How do you stop it?’ Artell asked.

  ‘You cannot,’ Henda said. ‘But then, my gifts are not as great as yours. I can only see when I am looking. You can sense it.’

  ‘I don’t want to sense it. I see so much. There is so much pain and loss.’

  ‘But surely there is joy as well.’

  ‘There may be, but I see little of it.’

  ‘What of your mother’s new baby?’

  He shook his head then, and Cora felt the loss and hurt. She pushed her hand over the burning mark in her chest. The woman beside him looked sad, and her face fell.